Topic: A day in the life of SSCF Hooch (Read 5954 times)

SSCF Hooch · « **on:** January 26, 2003, 02:37:33 pm »

In the darken map room of the Federation Control Center war planners begin to assemble. The air is slightly hazy and stale with the smell of ?Nip lingering at the edges of one?s sense?s.

Iaidoka of the Gorn Confederation, Fluf of the Mirak ?high? Command are already seated around the table. SSCF Hooch enters the room and is immediately alerted to the smell of the ?Nip.

?How many warrants collecting in my office about this contra-ban do I have to get before I eliminate this from the Federation?? He looks over to his right and notices Fluf smirking at him with his toothy Mirak grin and glazed eyes.

Iaidoka simply continues to ignore them both and pulls out a number of colored maps and hands them to the projection Yeoman.

?It isssss good to sssseee you Admiral Hooch in sssssuch a ssssetting insssstead of at the point of my sssshipsss weaponsss conssssole.? Remarked Iaidoka in a formal tone. Fluf merely giggled and rolled his eyes.

?It pleases me to no end that we are allied together again? Hooch replied rendering a salute in old earth fashion, Fulf simply waved and snickered.

Fluf rose to his full height ?Oh enough of the military hoohaa, lets get down to business, I have given you the best plan we could have. Drawn up by myself, and Chutt-Ritt. Put your child?s play tactics away and learn from the masters,? He thundered.

?Admiral Fluf, with all do respect?? Hooch began; suddenly NRS Derek George walks into the room

?Who in the ^%#! died and made you bunch of losers the gods of war planning? I have the real plan right here, so shut the *&@$# up you bunch of &^%$#^ and listen, you just might learn a thing or two from a fleet that fights what other fleets fear?

Iaidoka being startled reaches for a concealed hand phaser and begins to aim it at Derek George who looks at him and says, ?What? Can?t a guy express an opinion here?? and looks at Hooch.

?Ummm?Derek they don?t know our way of doing things here, just have a seat and we will our best to keep you in the loop? Hooch assures him

Derek steps back and plops into a chair, ?Fine I just want a fair hearing that?s all, and what?s that *&^%$ smell in the room? ? All eyes turn to Fluf who is happily rolling a ?fatty?. Fluf looks and with his glazed felinoid eyes and quips ?Hey dudes it?s for my religious beliefs, so bugger off?

Then meeting resumes it?s course?such is a day in the Federation

(feel free to add to this, just keep it clean and in the ballpark of the story line)

KATChuutRitt · « **Reply #1 on:** January 27, 2003, 05:49:23 am »

Chuut-Ritt shakes his head, "Hooch just wont let well enough alone", he mutters to himself. "Well if we are allied, I can see "Nip restrictions inposed to promote 'Harmony' between races.....It will be fine in our space, but if we have to resupply at Federation bases, I'm sure it will be scarce."

"Well, at least I've managed to find an adequate alternative for the hard times to come,..." Chuut mumbled as he picked another of the plants..............

Maxillius · « **Reply #2 on:** January 27, 2003, 07:28:56 am »

ROTFLMAO!!!

SSCF Hooch · « **Reply #3 on:** January 27, 2003, 03:40:47 pm »

Quote:

Chuut-Ritt shakes his head, "Hooch just wont let well enough alone", he mutters to himself. "Well if we are allied, I can see "Nip restrictions inposed to promote 'Harmony' between races.....It will be fine in our space, but if we have to resupply at Federation bases, I'm sure it will be scarce."

"Well, at least I've managed to find an adequate alternative for the hard times to come,..." Chuut mumbled as he picked another of the plants..............

Hooch sits at the table and notices that Chutt has a "bag" what appears to be fungi, he begins to ask him what they are but thinks better of it. He slowly turns his attention back to the Gorn who has been speaking for the better part of 2 hours.

Fluf in the mean time has passed out, and is what appears to purring (if such a sound can be called that) in a corner.

Bach and Wander have ordered a pizza and are happly munching away and thinks to himself, "those guys never eat that much, I wonder..."

TheMaverick · « **Reply #4 on:** January 27, 2003, 05:55:25 pm »

LMAO The 'Nip is spreading lmao.. All 'Nip taken from Fluf for legal matters should be given to me for safe keeping... *Muwhaha I will get Flufs 'Nip if it's the last thing I do!!*

Maxillius · « **Reply #5 on:** January 27, 2003, 06:32:50 pm »

next you'll tell us Fluf's DN is entirely composed of 'Nip

<recalls "Cheech n' Chong's Up In Smoke">

Kortez · « **Reply #6 on:** January 27, 2003, 07:37:35 pm »

Patriarch Kortez, rests in his Throne Room, reading a report from Duke Fluf. "Ah, so the Feds are making grand battle plans, are they? It's ok, so long as Duke Fluf is there we have hope they may be successful anyway."

Kortez leaps out of his throne and takes some raw hearts and livers. "I wonder where these came from," he thinks and gobbles them up.

The Patriarch resumes reading the reports, mirth shaking his shoulders from time to time.

KOTH-Steel Claw · « **Reply #7 on:** January 28, 2003, 10:02:53 am »

Steel Claw sits at his desk pondering the fate of some Nip and Shrooms when it hits him. "We can do away with both. We will just distribute these buttons I gathered on a desert planet.'

Maxillius · « **Reply #8 on:** January 28, 2003, 11:29:55 pm »

<homersimpson>MMMM... Spiiiice... (gurgle) </homersimpson>

KATChuutRitt · « **Reply #9 on:** January 29, 2003, 01:43:13 am »

Chuut turns to Hooch who is trying his best to be polite and attentive as the Gorn approaches the final part of the Grand Plan.

"Hooch, you really shouldn't be trying to ban the 'nip and our other "special" plants, they have so many useful purposes."

Hooch turns to Chuut "They are a destructive force within the allied navies, useful purposes, hogwash, you will never prove that to me!!!!"

Hooch folds his arms in challenge, then begins to fidget as he sees Chuut scratch behind his ears for a second in thought then suddenly gets one of those Kzin smirks on his face that always precede a great mischief.

"Um excuse me Lord Admiral Iaidoka, That plan of yours sounds absolutely marvelous, unfortunately I got lost a little while back, we simple Kzin are not used to such excellent detailed planning. Perhaps you could start over and explain in more detail the rationale behind each of the particulars of you plan, Admiral Hooch has just expressed his admiration as well and just told me that a more detailed discussion would be nice."

Chuut looks back at Hooch who is shocked beyond words, as a very happy and enthuiastic Gorn goes back to the beginning of the Grand Plan.

"The 'nip sure makes the time go by alot quicker, and sometimes I find that exceedingly useful" smirked Chuut, "Want to give it a try Hoochie? <opens up bag of 'nip and shrooms towards Hooch>

Goose · « **Reply #10 on:** January 29, 2003, 07:38:43 am »

(munch, munch, munch)

SSCF Hooch · « **Reply #11 on:** January 29, 2003, 07:40:20 am »

Hooch eyes the witch's brew for a spilt second and remembers his ultra right wing, fundamentalist, super orthodox, Judeo/Christian, conservative midwest, small town values and polity declinces the offer. He instead reaches into his brief case and pulls out what appears to a 300 year old book labled "Calvinism for Dummies" and says...

"Admiral Chutt-Ritt, have you ever heard of the old earth religion called Puritianism? Pehaps after the meeting I could share some things I have learned from this book, and serveral others I own."

Then looks over at the Gorn who is now into his 3 hour, and says "Admiral Iaidoka, could you please give of the detailed workings of the Romulan group known as the Tal'Shiar, and please don't spare us anything"

Iaidoka smiles as best as a lizard can and says "It issss good to ssseeee that you are ssssooo intersssseted Rear Admiral Hooch, would that the othersss were ssssooooo"

Hooch turns to Chutt...

"I have a old earth treat for Chutt-Ritt my good friend"

Fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a yellow pill

"They are called No-Dose, care to try one, your going to need it?"

He slowly turns his head back to the projection screen and smirks...

Maxillius · « **Reply #12 on:** January 30, 2003, 12:19:33 am »

noooo, not the No-Doze!!!

KATChuutRitt · « **Reply #13 on:** January 30, 2003, 01:28:39 am »

Chuut pops the No Doze into his mouth with out hesitation, his hedonistic nature and feline curiosity almost demanding it.

As he starts reading the book Hooch provided him with, he is reminded of the ravings of his Kdaptist Grandsie.......,

he looks up at Hooch momentarily and realizes that something is more amiss than usual

"Please excuse me Admiral Hooch, but I think I need to splash some water on my face" announces Chuut as he makes his way to the privy, book in hand, noticing a bigger smirk on the humans face.

30 minutes later Hooch was becoming quite concerned, "He shouldn't have een gone that long" thought the Admiral, "Our knowledge ofKzinti medicine and biology have always been sparse, I hope I didn't harm him permanently, or <gulp> kill him."
"Oh my career, I'll be courmarshalled for sure for killing an alien ambassador, and it is sure to mean war, the Kzin will never be satisfied with diplomatic solutions even if they ARE given my hide....."

Hocch makes his way to the door of the privy fearing the worst, in dread he turns the knob.........

"I think I got a really good understanding of this CALVINISM thing now" purrs Chuut-Ritt, easing his 750 lbs off Hooch's prone form. Anytime you want to practice this human form of worship again Hooch just let me know <snicker>.

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