Topic: Perhaps it's Best Not to Meet Players in Real Life . . . (Read 918 times)

J'inn · « **on:** May 04, 2003, 12:26:50 am »

National Security Agency Digital Cellphone Intercept . . . .

Operation J'inn

Date 3May2003
Time 1925 Hours Lima
Location of Intercept: Somewhere near the Maryland/Virginia Border

Intel Share Routing: I.R.S.; SecState; Fox NEWS

Intercept start - - -

J'inn: Hey it's me. You there yet?

Unknown Male: Yeah just pulling in. Where are you?

J'inn: I'm running late I had to play some numbers.

(NOTE: Inform FBI of numbers racket)

Unknown Male: How late? I don't want to be waiting for Green by myself.

(NOTE: New Contact name "Green" begin Interpol search and cross reference)

J'inn: Hey it's hard to find a place to buy stuff like that in Potomac!! I'm working on it.

Unknown Male: Okay, well Green said he would be wearing a maroon Hawaiian shirt.

J'inn: WHAT!! A Hawaiian shirt!! I'm going home.

Unknown Male: What's wrong with a Hawaiian shirt?

J'inn: Yer kidding right? S'Cippy, look, Hawaiian shirts are worn by two kinds of people. Hawaiians and trouble makers.

S'Cipio (note file nos. 47636 - 48790): Oh come on! Green's a good guy.

J'inn: Yeah right!! You should hear him on RW. Always causing trouble. "Fluf likes to sleep a lot" "Kortez listens to Limbaugh" "Maverick likes Home Econ class" "J'inn gives money to charity" I mean really incendiary stuff. Now a Hawaiian shirt. I'm telling ya S'Cippy I don't like it at all.

S'Cipio: Maybe he is Hawaiian.

J'inn: Look just stick your head in the bar and yell. Oga Mooga Oklioikakaka Moliki. If he doesn't react then he ain't Hawaiian and I'm going home.

S'Cipio: What's all that mean?

J'inn: It means "If your Hawaiian say Hell YEAH!!" Or "Your sister is greatly enjoyed by football teams." I'm not sure which, but either will get a reaction.

S'Cipio: Jeez. Hey I see a guy in a maroon Hawaiian shirt. Gosh he's big and kinda angry looking.

J'inn: Hawaiian?

S'Cipio: Erm, well . . . I guess if your talking about Hawaii, Texas maybe.

J'inn: I'm going home.

S'Cipio: If you do that I tell your girlfriend that you went to Payless Shoes without her tonight!

J'inn: You wouldn't!

S'Cipio: I would.

J'inn: Grumble. Alright but if we all end up arrested I'll blame you. I'm telling you, those shirts were made by Satan himself!!

S'Cipio: Hmmm. He's just sitting there glaring at people. And he looks kinda old.

J'inn: OLD!! Oh lordy this ain't good. All the older EAW players are completely insane. Fluf, Hooch, Dogmatix. All nuts!!

S'Cipio: Yeah I know. I mean no one in their right mind would play EAW if they were over 35 years old.

J'inn: Yeah, they . . . HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!

S'Cipio: <snicker>

J'inn: Alright well you go make first contact. Look out for any sudden moves. When I get there we will talk about our plans for Slave Girls and the invasion. Of course we'll have to bring in some of the alien players.

(ALERT!!! Code Red!)

S'Cipio: Ya thing Dizzy is ready to launch the campaign.

J'inn: Well if we can peel him away from the pics of the naked green women I suppose.

(Dizzy? Green Women?? Chemical Warfare?? Access the N.S.A. database and cross check)

S'Cipio: Uh oh.

J'inn: What??

S'Cipio: Looks like Green just ordered another huge glass of beer, looks like his sixth judging by the empty glasses and the way the waitresses seem to be scared to come near him. Hmmm, he keeps looking out into the parking lot.

J'inn: At what?

S'Cipio: Well there's a Mustang with Nevada plates.

J'inn: I'm going home.

S'Cipio: Why?

J'inn: Hawaiian shirt, six beers, mustang, Nevada. I can hear the gates of heel creaking open from here!!

S'Cipio: Hey he just stood up to go to the bathroom!! OMG he's wearing leather chaps and he just ordered a Zima!!!

J'inn: Run man!! Run for your life!!

S'Cipio: Mommy!!!

------------- END TRANSMISSION -------------

Analysis Pending.

TheMaverick · « **Reply #1 on:** May 04, 2003, 12:40:50 am »

LMAO that's great J'inn... You better have a part two in the works or we errm Maverick here will be pretty upset with you.

Green · « **Reply #2 on:** May 04, 2003, 02:52:36 am »

Hmmm ... how to respond? I was going to open with this ...

Quote:

"Dear Penthouse Forums. I never thought I'd be writing to your magazine, but tonight I had the most amazing..."

But then I thought, "nah, save that one for when you meet Kroma."

So instead, I will subvert the infamous Minister of Mis-information and provide the actual proceedings ...

[RP ON]

::Green was dreading the night. Not out of fear for the darkness, but rather the lack of it. If only the bar was darker, then perhaps he might be able to avoid the horrible sight of a lizard and cat in drag.

"Damn Kortez for sending me on this assignment" was the only thought that ran through Green's head as he prepared for his mission. "All this ... this stupid risk, just to obtain some intel from J'inn." J'inn had been placed undercover and sent to infiltrate the Kzin's mortal enemy - the Lyrans. The problem was ? no one had heard from the cat in over two months.

Something drastic had to be done to obtain the information that he was sent to receive. Critical information the Patriarch himself needed. Green pulled the message text that the Patriarch himself had sent to him...

"You have been assigned the task of gathering information from J'inn this part of the sector. This is an important job and is vital to our interests. Your mission is to investigate J'inn and engage any enemy ships. If you are heavily outnumbered you should disengage. Sometimes survival is its own reward. Dismissed.

Somehow, all of the Patriarch's messages seemed similar. Green wondered if a simple form letter was used by the Pentarchy. No matter. Green knew his duty.

In the four hours leading to the gathering, Green had attempted to find an appropriate wardrobe to better "blend-in" with the expected bar patrons. Alas, nothing could be found. Finally, out of desperation, he selected a blood red shirt with a floral-like pattern. "Hmmmm, maybe this would pass" he thought.

To be sure of his own security, Green had showed early ... very early ... to the meeting. This turned out to be a benefit he would quickly learn. He was glad to see neither the Gorn nor wayward Kzin had yet shown. This provided him an opportunity to check for exits incase needed, and to ensure he had memorized the quickest route to the litterbox ... which he did indeed use more then a couple of times during the night.

Selecting a fairly secure location near the back of the bar (by both an exit ... and the litterbox), he began his wait.

Green couldn't help but notice the variety of species in the bar. Mostly Hu-mans with a few Kzin, Klink, Andorian, a couple of Hydrans in suits (due to the smell, most of the bar's patrons kept their distance), and even a Lyran lying drunk in the corner. Yes, this was typical of the locale the Gorn would have selected.

Checking his communicator for any possible messages from his contact, he waited.

At the selected time, a Gorn entered the establishment. But unlike the other 40 or so patrons Green had surveyed who entered the bar, this Gorn's attitude was different. Instead of immediately ordering a drink, as would be expected from a typical Gorn, this one instead moved around the room as if searching for someone. "Could that be S'Cipio?" Green wondered. "No" was his quick conclusion. After all, he had passed S'Cipio, via coded message, his appearance and attire for the evening. If it was S'Cipio, then he obviously would have approached. Green knew the Gorn were ... well ... 'slow', but a double agent of the Kzin Intelligence Secret Service (KISS) couldn't be 'that' slow.

Keeping an eye on the Gorn as it made its rounds through the bar, Green noted the creature stop near the entrance, reach inside its kilt, and withdraw a communicator. Obviously, Green thought, the Gorn was waiting for someone or something to arrive. Finally, the walking luggage was seated some distance away and Green allowed his guard to go down for a moment.

But that moment was short lived.

Distracted by an Orion bar girl, Green failed to maintain his vigilance and suddenly, from behind (and we all know that is how the Gorn prefer to approach), Green perceived a motion of leather approaching,::

S'Cipio: Green?

Green: Scip?

S'Cipio: I've got a table over here. Join me.

::Green was relieved to see that the tales of spandex and bell-bottoms was obviously a ruse. Probably some sort of code system used to throw the SPQR off the tracks of what was being done.::

S'Cipio: Uh, J'inn will be a little late.

Green: What the hell do you mean a little late. <whisper> Doesn't he know how important this is? Doesn't he know the risk I'm taking coming here?!?</whisper>.

S'Cipio: Its okay, he'll be here, he simply needed to run an errand ... for ... uh ...

Green: Don't tell me it?s the Rex.

S'Cipio: No, no. Nothing like that. It?s ... uh ... well, a financial issue. Come-on. You know J'inn and money. Get real. He's a lawyer for God's sake.

Green: True. I had forgotten. Of course, his background as a lawyer makes him the perfect <whisper> spy </whisper>.

S'Cipio: Obviously. And especially with him being that "type" of lawyer. He's doing pretty well now.

Green: Really?

S'Cipio: Oh, yes, absolutely. He's got this group of runners that he keeps to ensure he is fed the best assortment of clients. I heard J'inn is making a killing off of his runners. Even heard he keeps a 24-hour watch on the morgue, you know, just in-case someone wakes up.

(Okay, side note. The above is an inside joke. So ignore it ... but J'inn won't)

::As the Gorn and Kzin carried on in their conversation. Green looked up and spied a 7' white cat enter the room. "J'inn" he thought. "Oh God, here comes God's gift to Mirak intelligence."

As unnoticed as a 7' albino cat could be, J'inn immediately moved towards the dark table where S'Cipio and Green were seated.::

J'inn: Hey guys, what's up?

Green: You know what's up. Now pass me the information.

J'inn: Hey, what's the hurry. Lets talk for a bit. Hey, did I tell you guys that Rex made me go shopping for shoes again? Oh, it was horrible. There I was ....

S'Cipio: Yes, J'inn, you did. Look, we need to pass the ...

J'inn: Oh, I did huh. Well, then did I ever tell you about the time I was ...

Green: Knock it off J'inn. Look. You know what I'm here for. Just give me the info and let me get the hell out of here.

J'inn: What info?

S'Cipio: <sigh>

Green: The friggin edited portions of the infamous AOTK Tour-Guide text that you cut out before finally posting the damn thing. You know damn good and well the information I want ... now pass it on!!!

[/RP OFF]

Shoot. It?s getting late. So anyway, J'inn gave me the stuff he edited out of the Tour Guide post and a bunch of other stuff that you guys (and gals) probably don't want to hear. Then there was a bunch a stuff we did over at the DC Gentleman's club (oooo, ask J'inn about Lucinda when you get as chance ... "big" is all I can say

). Anyway. I think S'Cipio threw up somewhere and I had a little run-in with the Metro Police. Did you guys know that they actually ARE real cops? Crap If I had known that I wouldn't have mooned the dude.

But that stuffs all dull. Maybe will write some more later. Had a great time J'inn and S'Cipio. Hopefully GWarlock and others can join next time.

KATChuutRitt · « **Reply #3 on:** May 04, 2003, 03:06:31 am »

Look out for Chuut sometime during the summer, perhaps around the 4th, but unconfirmed.

Have to investigate the Lucinda Crisis firsthand, or first paw as it may be.

J'inn

Re: Perhaps it's Best Not to Meet Players in Real Life . . .

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