Actually I happen to have a few, but not many regretably and not yours sadly Dogmatix.
Name: Remiak
Race: Romulan
Ship: T'liss
Intel: The dark and stormy past of the family of Remiak is well documented in the annals of Romulan literature as well as legend. The last surviving heir of a family dynasty that can trace it's roots to the deserts of Vulcan, Remiak is perhaps the finest example of a sterotypical Romulan alive today, having been a starship officer for over 100 years. In fact, he is now known to fight alongside Klingon warriors who are the sons and grand-sons of commanders he fought with years ago!
As a proud and young Romulan, Remiak betrayed his parents to the authorities on Romulus, not because they were guilty, but because he wanted the family's wealth and power for his own. His manufacture of evidence was so skillful that it even fooled the eminent Romulan masterspy, Emerald Edge.
Using his influence and authority, he is rumored to have been part of the original 6 captains who were in command of a warbird that were later refited with warp technology.
His families weath enabled him to build a fleet of warships for the service of the Romulan Empire. His own personal command, the Sparrowhawk Command Cruiser, T'liss, being the most prominent of these vessels. Almost brand new, this vessel has only recently been seen in action, most notably having been seen in the vincinity of the neutral planet, Tau Zeta VII, also known as Rooks Planet (the location of Rooks Tavern).
It is also believed that Riov has secretly developed the telepathic abilities inherant to all Vulcan and proto-Vulcan societies (such practices are frowned upon by Romulans as being too Vulcan). Several of his crew have been found murdered or have been transferred to less prominant postings, often later being found to have been plotting against or spying on Riov.
Fighting Style:
With a deadly foresight gifted to him through his telepathic training, many opposing captains have found their ships torn to pieces by Captian Riov and his deadly plasma ballets.
Gwarlock
Race: Gorn
Ship: Thunder Lizard
Intel: Little is known of Gwarlock's early life. It is said that he was hatched in the backstreets of G'ih'i, the capital city of the Gorn colony of the same name almost 300 Earth years ago. The truth of this has not been verified and must be regarded as conjecture at this point.
What is known that he stowed away aboard a private freighter that visited G'ih'i as a not yet fully mature adult. Demanding to be allowed to stay onboard, he impressed the crew of the freighter by defeating in nonlethal combat, one of the ship's engineers, during an attempt to lead him to the brig.
Determined to make his fortune amongst the stars, Gwarlock quickly rose to command of said freighter, the Chocodile Express. Travelling the shipping lanes of the Gorn outer colonies, the Chocodile Express was noted for it's highly impressive array of plasma G's that had been scavenged from the wrecks of pirate ships destroyed by Gwarlock and his crew. It is also believed that Gwarlock also attached the heads of the pirate captains who attempted to ambush him to his hull although this is perhaps merely another legend about this mysterious Gorn.
His exploits (and large bribes of chocodiles) so impressed Gorn Admiral S'Cipio, that S'Cipio offered him the command of a Gorn cruiser, a true honour for a Gorn who hadn't gone through the Gorn Military Academy. During the General War, this vessel, the Thunder Lizard, captured more vessels than anyother Gorn ship.
Fighting style: It is said that Gwarlock can smell the fear in enemy captains and often delights in firing his pseudo plasmas simply for that thrill. A fast and furious adversary, many captains have chosen to run from Captain Gwarlock rather than find their heads stapled to his hull, forever staring blankly into the night.
ArcticFire --- Klingon
Intel: Articfire is a well known figure throughout the Dynaverse. Believing that the petty battles raging throughout the Alpha Quadrant (read Iplay servers) were insufficent for a warrior he resolved to start a war that would enable him to win true glory in battle.
Assembling all the fleets of his house, ArticFire used them to occupy a mineral rich moon in the Dolores System, a system located within Federation space. When ArticFire's forces refused to leave the Dolores system, the then Klingon Chancellor publicly supported him. Given the massive public support for ArticFire's invasion of Federation space this is hardly a surprise. A chain of events was then triggered which led to what were to become known as the ArticFire Wars of the 2240s which involved all the major races in some form or another.
To say that ArticFire attained the glory he sought cannot be disputed but it is believed that he grew tired of fame and disappeared sometime before 2250. He sat out the General Wars, which began after a daring attack on the Federation deep space outpost, Canada West, by a Klingon strike force in 2263.
It is said amongst the streets of the Q'onos that when ArticFire returns to Homeworld once again, then glory will be delivered to the Empire in rivers of enemy blood. And truly then war will reign once more.
Fighting Style: Nobody who has fought ArticFire still lives. Any survivors have mysteriously disappeared or met untimely fates. Thus any analysis of ArticFire's fighting styles can be said to be impossible at this stage.
KAT Razor
Race: Mirak
Ship: KAT Kid KAT
Info:
Razor was born into the Mirak clan that bears his name in 2239 on the Telar colony, the homeworld of the Razor clan. As yet he is not currently head of the clan despite his exploits and position, as his family still live on Telar, his father ruling from the family homestead in Telar's capital.
Razor is the youngest captain currently in the Mirak fleet. Although some have attained command in the Mirak fleet at younger ages than he, they were through family connections as opposed to merit.
Razor's rise to command can be tracked to the brutal occupation of the Telar colony by a rival clan of Mirak, the Black Furies, during one of the many Mirak civil wars of the 2250s. After fighting in several furious ground skirmishes that drove the Black Furies back into space in order to regroup, Razor took command of one of his father's drone frigates and used it to cripple the Black Furies' flagship, the Dark Sword. In an assault that was to make him a living legend, Razor then led a small marine team aboard the Dark Sword and personally threw the leader of the Fury clan into his own warp core in a vicious catfight.
Razor later went on to be first officer to Captain Tempest, assisting in the reunification of the Mirak Empire under the Sun Storm Dynasty, actions that again helped increase his fame.
After the fall of the Sun Storm Dynasty thanks to Patriach Xaos' untimely demise, Razor rose to the attentions of the new Mirak Patriarch, Brezgonne, who had him promoted to the rank of Captain.
Inducted into the KAT fleet in the belief that he needed the guidance of that elite group of captains in order to fully develop his potential, Razor has since captained his ship, the Kid KAT to several fine victories and participated in the drive for the Klingon homeworld during the Pacification War.
Fighting style: Although many have underestimated Razor because of his age, that has often been their last mistake. Although his youth makes him overly aggressive at times, it also makes him unpredictable in combat. His innovative strategies have shocked many enemies who have expected him to use more classical techniques.
----
and for those of you who are interested in reliving some of my scribblings from earlier campaigns here they are arranged like a badly done 70s TV series clip show
Janus stumbled over the rubble of the ruined buildings that were precariously balancing themselves around him. His Romluan personal holographic device was still intact thank the gods so he still looked like a Klingon. Overhead, a huge air balloon with speakers attached blared out polka music whilst drawing fire from various sources around the city.
Although he could hear the strange rhythmic sounds that the primitive bipeds called music, Janus couldn't fathom why the Q'onsian Klingons around him were screaming in pain and clutching their heads.
"Halt!" yelled a large burly Klingon warrior. Janus noted it was one of the flatheaded kind of Klingons. A Klinshai to be exact. And this Klinshai had a giant disruptor rifle pointed at his chest.
"Don't shoot!" Janus said, putting up his hands.
"What?" said the Klingon. "Wait. Let me remove my earplugs."
What happened next, shocked Janus to the core as the huge warrior curled up into a ball and started sobbing to himself. Composing himself slightly, Janus picked up the giant disruptor rifle and walked off.
"No wait! Don't leave me," cried the Klinshai Klingon, whimpering like a baby.
Ignoring the anguished cries, Janus headed off towards the least damaged building, for a bit of a breather. How he was supposed to find the robot S'Cipio was beyond him at this point. Obviously the Klingons were embroiled in yet another civil war, which would make getting about difficult.
Opening the door to his destination, Janus almost ran back out again and slammed the door shut behind him, before he remembered he was supposed to be acting Klingon, and Klingons didn't do such things. Martha Stewart inspired regalia adorned the walls and roof of the building. It was truly surreal, especially when superimposed with the building's inhabitants.
Janus was confronted by a giant lizard and a Klinshai Klingon with a cat on his shoulder surrounded by dozens of burly Klinshai warriors. The Hydran gulped. To them he looked like a burly Q'onsian Klingon, their deadly enemies. This wasn't a healthy place to be he decided quickly.
"Well what have we here?" grinned the Klingon with the cat on his shoulder. "One of the enemy wants to play with us. Seize him!"
Quick as a flash several Klingons jumped down from above to disarm Janus before he had a chance to ready his rifle. Soon enough he was overpowered and held upright by two roughneck Klingon warriors.
"Obviously you know who I am. I am Squiggy, soon to be Lord and Master of this tiny realm known as the Klingon Empire. And you are obviously a spy sent to kill me."
"Actually I'm here to warn you." Janus cried thinking quickly, "That is not Lord S'Cipio, it's actually a robot copy!"
"Never!" cried the giant Gorn, the robot S'Cipio, "I'm no robot!"
"Oh! Is he now?" Squiggy glared at the Gorn for a moment, "And how just to you know that." he continued, poking Janus in the chest with a long finger.
"Errr, it's a long story." Janus stammered. "But you have to hit his nose really hard to deactive him."
"What?" cried the robot S'Cipio.
"A robot copy you say. How Squiggicious. You!" he cried pointing at the nearest Klingon to S'Cipio. "Hit the Gorn on the nose!"
"Owwwww!!!" screamed the robot S'Cipio. "What was that for?"
The robot S'Cipio wasn't a robot after all. The stupid J'inn robot had tricked him! Janus cursed under his breath.
Squiggy simply laughed and said, "Nice try spy. Now lets see whats this," as he removed at the bottle of Gorn whiskey tucked into Janus' belt.
"No...." began Janus, but he was interrupted by a angry Gorn howl.
"My... my.... bottle of family Scotch. Half drunk!!!! Do you have any idea how long that has been in my family." S'Cipio screamed grabbing the precious bottle out of Squiggy's hand as though it were a precious child.
"Wait, I can errr expla..." Janus stammered.
"And.... you, I know you, you're the Klingon captain who ambushed my chocodiles!" S'Cipio was livid with rage. It took four of Squiggy's huge warriors to hold the enraged reptile from crushing Janus' head between his claws.
"Ooooo." squaled Squiggy with delight. "You've made him purple. I've never seen a Gorn go that color before. Still," Squiggy yawned, "I'm bored now, spy. Time to die."
"Ummmm, wait!" cried Janus, "Isn't it tradition that you tell me about your evil plans." he asked, hoping to appeal to his captors ego.
"Well, I suppose I could tell you about my evil plan before you die." Squiggy mused in a sadistic manner. "But I don't think my warriors could hold my Gorn friend here back that long." he giggled.
"Let me deal with him..." S'Cipio raged.
"No." Squiggy laughed out loud, "I think death by polka in an easy escapable situation will be sufficent for this cretin. Guards! Take him away!"
--------------
A few hours later..........
----------------
"So. He wasn't a robot after all." said the J'inn robot.
"No." said Janus. "I've had enough of your stupid games! Leave me alone!"
"Well I helped you escape didn't I." said the J'inn robot.
"Yes I did." sighed Janus. "But boy is S'Cipio going to be mad at the real you. Should you have really left what you did in his bed?" he added.
"Hehe, you bet Janey!" laughed the J'inn robot. "Should make for loads of fun later on!"
---------------
.....
Captain Vaughn stared at Janus for a moment.
"What is he doing here?" he asked Drall pointing at Janus.
"That is not your concern human." whispered Drall. "I have decided to flush you both out of the airlock as I grow weary of the noises that you both make. It's giving me a headache."
"Wait!" cried Janus, "Aren't you going to tell us your evil plan?" he added more quietly his eyestalks quivering in anticipation of another disruptor blast aimed at his head.
"What? Like that fool Squiggy?" hissed Drall.
"Actually, he didn't want to tell me what his evil plan was." said Janus nervously.
"Romulans don't plan! We plot!" hissed Drall. "But if you must know, our plan to destroy your smelly homeworld was merely the beginning of our evil plan to bring your precious Hydran Kingdom to it's knees. Why that fool doesn't even realise...."
Drall's little speech was interrupted by his own insane laughter at the thought of the outcome of his scheming.
"Your completely and utterly mad Drall!" cried John Vaughn.
"Romulans don't go mad. We develop severe paranoid and xenophobic characteristics due to our guests making too much noise when they talk." growled Drall quietly. Standing up now, Drall had his disruptor pistol drawn.
"Guards! Place these two in an airlock and flush them out into space." Drall whispered.
Quick as a flash Vaughn leapt over the console seperating him and Drall and wrestled the disruptor from his hand.
Attempting to help Janus tripped over his oversized encounter suit and sprawled on the floor, however this didn't prevent him for unleashing one of his tentacles across the back of the Romulan Admiral, who was about to king hit the momentarily vunerable Vaughn.
As Drall sought to untangle himself from Janus' tentacle and his guards sought to defend their admiral, Vaughn quickly tapped his boots together three times.
Grabbing a Hydran tentacle, Vaughn grinned with glee as he saw himself and Janus vanishing into transporter generated haze. Vaughn's grin grew even larger as he saw Drall's outraged face and several well aimed disruptor shots pass through both himself and Janus.
As his small warp capable shuttle shot off into the blackness of space, Captain Vaughn turned to speak to Janus in the passenger seat.
But his Hydran companion was gone. Frantically scanning the Romulan controlled Hydran ship, to his horror Vaughn found that Janus could not be detected on board.
He was gone. And was nowhere to be found.
....
Janus sighed loudly to himself as he thought back to just how he'd managed to land this latest assignment....
"Janus, come in! How is our Hydran Minister of Intelligence today?" First Space Lord Max Power greeted Janus roundly as he entered his office.
"Keen to go back into space once again sir." said Janus.
"Excellent! As you know Captain Hondo has been given command of a new starship and ordered to patrol within Federation space. Considering we all know what happened the last time he was given command of a starship, we want you to watch him as a member of his crew." said the Admiral smiling roundly.
"How am I going to do that sir?" Janus asked, "I mean, I don't look like human."
"No Janus! We want you to wear this brand new encounter suit!" Max cried pulling out a giant rubber skinbag covered with hair and various pieces of bipedal clothing in assorted places.
Janus groaned.
"We've gotten you passage aboard Captain Hondo's ship as a butler called Mr. Belvadere. We've also made up various medical ailments for you so you're slobbering and posture will be written off as that and people will be too nice to comment." grinned Max roundly. He always enjoyed giving these sort of assignments.
Janus left Admiral Power's office in a daze, skinsuit under one arm and wondering why he just didn't settle down and have a family like this matriarch had wanted him to.
And now he had lost Hondo. Still it's was Dark Elf's mission to find him... and he would unwittingly have the Hydran Minister of Intelligence to help him!
As Janus struggled to breath in the giant British butler disguise he was wearing as it was riding up into his breathing tubes, in front of him a Federation starship captain looked at him with notable concern. Dark Elf stared in shock as he saw this tall elderly gentleman contort in most unhumanlike poses. He could swear he saw a fear tentacles trying to break their way out of his new butler somehow. Still this man was very sick according to medical reports, and it would be wouldn't be proper to say anything.
"Are you alright sir?" Dark Elf inquired.
"No no I'm quite alright Wesley... <Cough> I mean Mr. Dark Elf." said Janus.
"So, Mr Belvadere." asked Captain Dark Elf, "Do you know the circumstances that led to the destruction of the Love Machine."
"No no Wesley, I mean Captain. I was sitting down making myself and the master some tea when..." Janus said quickly.
"Ummm, Mr Belvadere." Dark Elf interuppted, "You appear to be beeping."
"Beeping?" Janus asked astonished. He looked down and realised it was indeed him beeping. The ringtune of "What's new pussycat" floated across the bulkheads in a hideously loud and annoying manner. That ringtune could only mean one thing.... J'inn was calling!
"Yes Wesley, I mean Captain..." said Janus hurriedly. "That means it's time for my medication." he addded as he scampered away from the Federation captain and back down the corridor towards his newly assigned quarters.
Dark Elf stared in shock as he saw the portly gentleman trip over exposed plasma conduits as he ran down the passageway. The way the man picked himself up was most unhumanlike, but still he was very sick according to his medical report....
In his quarters Janus returned Minister J'inn's call on a secure channel. A giant white Mirak appeared on the quarter's viewscreen.
"Jan..!" cried the giant Mirak. "Hey! Who are you!" he glowered.
"J'inn, it's me! I'm in disguise."
"Ugggh. Janus!? Did you have really to dress up as a human? I mena, you were ugly enough already!" J'inn laughed loudly, the bulkheads behind him shaking as he did so.
"I've got some news for you Janey!" J'inn added. "And maybe you could help me with something..."
(In the here and now... )
Struggling around the bridge of the Roswell in his British butler encounter suit Janus tried and failed to maintain a composed human facade as he tried to juggle a tray of tea and cucumber sandwitches with the shocking information that J'inn had given to him. Quite what the Mirak minister of Information wanted him to do was beyond him, but for now, he satisfied himself with helping DarkElf and the crew of the Roswell find Captain Hondo who doubtless was undergoing some sort of hideous torture.
As he staggered over to the captain's chair to offer Captain DarkElf a cup of earl grey he must of presented some sort of horrific sight to the ensign sitting at the helm as she screamed. Janus ignored this unprofessional behaviour until he realised that one of his fake eyeballs attached to the Mr. Belvadere encounter suit had fallen out.
Bending down and screwing the errant eyeball back into his socket, Janus realised that humans, like Hydrans, probably didn't bend down to put their eyes back into their sockets. Several members of the bridge crew were gagging behind their cucumber sandwitches.
Thinking quickly he exclaimed, "It's a glass eye you know. I lost the real one whilst fighting Klingons 50 years ago. Disgustingly violent creatures Klingons you know. Disgusting. More cucumber sandwitches anyone?"
The crew breathed an audible sigh of relief and went back to their business.
"Captain DarkElf," the communications officer started. "We are receiving a distress call from the medical vessel USS Flemming. They are under attack from pirates!"
"Red alert!" cried DarkElf, "Take us to their co-ordinates. Maximum warp!"
"Aye sir, course plotted, warp engines on-line." said the helmswoman.
"Starfleet has been informed. Re-inforcements will arrive approximately 3 hours after we do sir." said the communications officer.
"Weapons online captain." The curt Andorian in charge of the tactical station folded his arms over his chest in anticipation of the fight to come.
"Excellent. Engage!" DarkElf settled back down into this captain's chair, nervously anticipating the first battle for his new command.
Sometime later, the Roswell dropped out of warp close to where three pirate vessels were blasting the hapless USS Flemming with everything they had.
Not being built for combat, the medical ship was already in flames and in dire trouble. Her captain had run it as close to the nearby sun as possible in a bid to escape, a bid that had clearly failed.
To her credit the Flemming had damaged two of the pirate vessels was already slightly damaged who were circling their prey at a fair distance. The third was in an obvious hurry to beam off as many parts and supplies as possible before the Flemming's hull collapsed under the weight of it's multiple breaches.
A series of well timed torpedo shots from the Roswell's weapons officer sent one of the pirate ships warp engines alight and sent the doomed ship into an inescapable plunge into the nearby sun. Janus shuddered as he imagined the crew of the ship slowly melting to death. The Roswell's phasers lashed out at the second pirate ship, which prompty exploded in a light show that rivalled any firework's display.
The captain of the Flemming appeared on the Roswell's viewscreen, his shattered bridge behind him sending a chill down DarkElf's back as he remembered the feeling of seeing his last command equally gutted.
"Roswell! Thank god! You must save the medical supplies we had on board! They contain highly experimental compounds used to immobilise patients with large scale fractures or burns. They're healing properties are immense! You must save...."
The captain of the Flemming was interrupted by his ship's hull intregity finally falling below the necessary minimum standards specified by Starfleet. The viewscreen cut to a shot of the Flemming's spectacular, if arupt, demise.
"Survivors?" asked DarkElf.
"None sir," spoke the Andorian tactical officer, "I can see debris from several pods, doubtless destroyed by the pirates."
DarkElf clenched his fists in anger. "Pursuit course helm! Let's get them before they move far enough away from the sun to be able to go to warp!"
"Sir, this ship has enhanced shield generators and is the largest of the three. We won't be able to get their shields down in time."
"Perhaps if I may be so bold Captain, you could use tacyon pulses to destablise their shield grid?" inquired Janus gently. "The radiation from the nearby star will kill them if they don't reset their shields. When they do we can beam out the medical supplies! Perhaps we could even replace them with some kind of explosive device?" he offered, pressing the button in his suit that made Mr. Belvadere smile.
"Great idea Mr. Belvadere." an astonished DarkElf looked over at the smiling English butler before him. "Do it!" he commanded his tactical officer. Two white lances of tacyon's were sent hurtling out of the Roswell's navigational deflector in response.
Thirty seconds later all had gone to plan. The pirate ship was a rapidly expanding ball of gas fueled by a generous amount of tricobolt explosives and the medical supplies were safely in the hold of the Roswell. DarkElf grinned and took another cucumber sandwitch from Mr. Belvader's pro-offered plate.
"Stand down red alert. Helm, resume search pattern. Lets find Captain Hondo before we have to save anyone else along the way!" he said.
"Aye sir." came the reply.
Mr. Belvadere meanwhile plotted to get himself a sample of those medical supplies. The medicos back on Hydraxx would be very happy to see what Federation science had been up to and had as yet been unwilling to share.
...
Janus stared at Captain DarkElf through his Mr. Belvadere encounter suit. He knew he would have to tell the Federation captain who he really was eventually. He hadn't expected to DarkElf to figure it out so quickly, but then his disguise was meant to fool Captain Hondo, not a psionic being from an unknown subspace fold located within the human's homeworld.
Lying obviously wasn't going to get him anywhere, but DarkElf couldn't be allowed to tell anyone else, most notably Starfleet Command, who would doubtless meddle. But if he didn't tell DarkElf, then the captain would doubtless subject Janus to all sorts of medical tests, which would expose him in potentially a far worse manner. So Janus decided to let DarkElf in on his little secret.
"Well Captain, this really has to be between us. I'm Captain Janus."
"Head of Hydran intelligence! There is a huge bounty for your capture!" DarkElf cried.
"Be quiet!" hissed Janus. "I'm here to help you find Captain Hondo. My sources tell me that Captain Hondo was dumped on an asteroid in the Red Tau Alpha system. My source found that fact highly amusing, especially given his own past experiences with Captain Hondo and similar such rocks elsewhere."
"My stars!" cried DarkElf.
"That's not all." continued Janus. "He is trapped within a Gorn escape pod that can only be opened from the outside. In that pod, he is played William Shatner's spoken word album that is set in a continous loop."
"But he'll go mad!" DarkElf seethed. "Well, madder." he amended hastily.
"One more thing Captain." added Janus. "Its bound to be a trap. The renegade Gorn in command of the ship that destroyed the Love Machine will doubtless still be in the area. I would suggest contacting your Admiral Thrain once we have located Hondo and secure reinforcements. The prestige would be significant I'm sure." Janus pressed the button in his suit that made Mr. Belvadere wink.
DarkElf considered this.
"Very well. For now we'll keep your true identity a secret. But you are to be considered a prisioner and your actions will be closely watched." Captain DarkElf was no fool. There was even more prestige to be gained by securing the capture of a prominent intelligence officer of another race!
Janus nodded. "Of course Captain."
DarkElf waved his hand. "Dismissed."
DarkElf was sure though as he planned his next move in his mind, that for now, he needed Janus just where he was. And besides, he thought, as he reached for one of Mr. Belvadere's homemade peanut butter cookies, the Hydran was a fine cook, and those cucumber sandwitches were to die for!
....
Janus stared at the viewscreen in disbelief as he saw the enemy ships attacking the Federation task force. He had expected Gorn ships. The ISC had already captured another of his counterparts in a similar ambust some time earlier and were doubtless torturing him horribly. Hhe didn't show his concerns to his Federation counterpart DarkElf, who gripped the captain's chair as the bridge rocked under some well placed phaser fire across the Roswell's left flank.
"ISC vessels." Mr. Belvadere said. "Recent reports indicate a weakness with the plasma torpedo launchers on some of their light cruisers. If you hit them dead on as they are about to fire, you will overload their power matrixes and disable them."
DarkElf's talented tactical officer responded immediately by placing two well timed phaser shots into the plasma banks of an ISC vessel. Explosions from a huge chain reaction rippled down the hull like a string of firecrackers. It's weapons crippled, it made to retreat, leaving the Roswell with far more important targets to worry about.
"Target the area of the ISC battlecruiser that I am indicating to you on your panel now." said Mr. Belvadere to DarkElf. Janus pressed the button in the encounter suit that made Mr. Belvadere grin.
"But thats nowhere near any vital system!" cried Dark Elf.
"I beg to differ captain, hitting that area will sever the power conduits of their PPD devices." Mr Belvadere said politely.
Janus could almost see the ISC battlecruiser's captain curse as he saw a volley of photon torpedos rip out the power array on the enemy ship and he could see the enemy weapon's system go dark.
"Modulate your phaser frequency to setting 317.210." said Janus scanning the databanks located within his encounter suit. "That is the shield modulation setting of the Peaceful Settlement, the destroyer to your left."
As the ISC destroyer blew about behind her, the Roswell was rocked under fire from three ISC battlecruisers, enraged by the success of what should be easy prey.
"All enemy battlecruisers are now ignoring the other Federation ships and concentrating on us sir." cried the Andorian at tactical. As he finished giving his report however, an exploding console nearby send him flying against the nearest bulkhead, knocking him unconcious. DarkElf looked at Janus is alarm.
"I would suggest securing the escape pod and beating a hasty retreat Captain." Mr. Belvadere spoke as he calmly picked himself out his chair and made his way to tactical. Of course Janus himself was shaking in this suit, but the rest of the bridge crew found steely resolve in the apparent composure of an British butler who had already saved their lives several times already.
"The escape pod is obviously under some kind of remote control." Janus said. "It has left the asteroid it was situated on and is now moving toward Federation space. It appears to be preparing to go to warp."
"We have to beam it aboard!" DarkElf almost fell out of his command chair as another phaser volley rocked the Roswell.
Janus placed several well placed shots across the bow of the nearest ISC frigate sending it spinning into an asteroid. "How embarrassing for them," Janus thought as he replied, "No. Doubtless it is rigged with explosives or designed to interface with ships systems and play non stop William Shatner thoughout the Roswell."
DarkElf shuddered. "We'll just take Hondo then! Helm pursuit course!"
"I can't beam him out using conventional means." Janus said. "Captain, I will need you to concentrate on Hondo. Picture him in your mind."
DarkElf closed his eyes for a moment. "Done." he said in a slightly deeper, more earthly tone.
"Excellent." Janus said. The Roswell's phasers lashed out, the escape pod exploded, but Captain Hondo sat there in space, suspended by DarkElf's mind.
"Remarkable." Mr Belvadere exclaimed as Janus noted that DarkElf's abilities were exactly as had been reported to him. "Beaming Captain Hondo aboard now."
DarkElf gasped as if he was a man taking a breath after a long time underwater. Mr Belvadere spoke from the tactical station, "Captain Hondo is aboard. He is in sick bay behind a level 10 forcefield. Just in case."
"Now time to get out of here!" Janus continued. "Communications, open a channel to the Admiral's ship."
"Admiral Thrain. This is Captain Janus of Hydran Intelligence. I am currently on board the Roswell."
"What?" came the scream over the speaker. "How?"
"Time for explanations later Admiral. What is your status?" asked DarkElf
"We've lost warp drive. The other ships are badly damaged but capable of escape..."
"Stand by, we'll give you a tow." DarkElf montioned to Janus to stand ready with a tractor beam.
"Our hull intregity is too low to risk a tow! Get out of here, we'll cover you." cried Thrain over the speaker.
"Negative Admiral. Tell your other ships to disengage. We'll take care of you." Janus spoke.
As the other Federation ships, sped away into warp, the Roswell sped toward the taskforce flagship, ISC ships firing at her all the way, PPD bursts crackling across her shields.
"Time for the gatling tractor." Mr Belvadere grinned as he split the Roswell's tractor beam to grab Thrain's ship in four key places. The Roswell rocked under more enemy fire but she was nearly home now.
"Helm, get us out of here! Maximum warp!" screamed DarkElf.
As the Roswell shot off into the night, the ISC taskforce commander smiled.
All was going to plan, Hydran meddling aside.
.....
(and one of my favourite Janus and Hondo moments
)
Janus stared in horror behind his Mr. Belvadere suit as Hondo gulped down yet another cheeseburger. Inside his encounter suit he scanned Hondo who was ranting on about peacefulness and togetherness within the galaxy. Content that all was going to plan, Janus decided that it was time to get a move on. Stepping over the slumbering Kytarh, and moving to the tactical console Janus pushed the button that 'made the enemy ship go boom now'. The hapless drifting abandoned hulk that Hondo had insisted the USS Enterprising Love Machine stop to 'see if they needed assistance' exploded in a ball of antimatter.
Hondo turned around and glared at Janus.
"Belvadere! What did you do that? There were intelligent lifeforms on board that ship!"
"Space barnacles don't count Hond... I mean Kirk." said Likkerpig arrogantly.
"Never you mind Captain Kirk. I'm taking over this ship!" Janus growled.
"What!? Scotty! Spock! McCoy! Come to my aid!" cried Hondo
Naturally there was no response.
"Likkerpig! Sockfoot! Assist me!" cried Hondo glaring at the other two members of his 'A-Team'. They too ignored him, the hissing turbolift doors indicating that Likkerpig was going somewhere 'a little more private' with the young ensign he had been chatting up. Sockfoot meanwhile, sat back in the guest chair quite content to let Janus take over. Janus would at least get to where they were going, instead of stopping for 'missions of mercy and/or exploration'. Sockfoot privately swore if they stopped to see another nebula or rare star formation enroute to Katmandu he'd kill the entire crew barehanded.
"It is useless to resist Captain...." Mr. Belvadere began calmly but Janus gave up as Hondo ignored him and began reciting his next captain's log out loud.
"Captain's Log stardate.... errrr. nevermind. My ship has been taken over by a hostile alien force. The evil Janus, of Hydran intelligence hiding behind his Mr. Belvadere armor which has thusfar proven inpervious to our phaser beams...."
Janus sighed. The hormones that he had put in the cheese were working according to the analyzers within his suit. Of course this was why he was so anxious to find Hondo all along... not that he could have told DarkElf or any Federation officer outside of Section 31 that.
Hydran scientists had long wondered how to adapt Hydrans to oxygen environments without the need for encounter suits, that often made socialisation difficult to say the least.
And thus the solution was born! A hybrid with another race. Several feelers had been put out to the more darker areas of the Federation intelligence arms and a deal was struck. A Hydran hybrid who could deal with Federation species on a more even footing might fast track Hydran entrance into the Federation. Not that Janus intended to allow THAT to happen.
Still a tentacled monster that could breath in water, oxygen and methane would be highly useful on a unknown feline planet, despite the fact that his Mr. Belvadere suit was nigh on indestructable to conventional weaponry what with it's personal force shield and all.
Janus still struggled to understand why Hydran and Federation intelligence had chosen Hondo for this experiment. Of course there was the fact that Hondo was expendable. But then a genetically enhanced Hondo might take actions that put millions of lives at risk. Thinking he was Captain Kirk was bad enough, especially considering that Kirk didn't even exist at all in reality. Kirk was just a pin up poster boy played by a B grade actor, who's 'adventures' were designed to lure hapless Federation citizens into service with Starfleet.
Janus had the pretty young ensign at the helm set course for the planet Catmandu. Her protests were met with a tentacled prod from the appendage Janus briefly let outside his suit. Ignoring her squeals Janus waved his tentacle a few more times until she met his request.
Sitting down in the tactical seat, Janus handed Hondo another plate of cheeseburgers, which kept the insufferable Kirk rantings down for a while and rebellion to a minimum.
As the Enterprising Love Machine approached it's destination Janus looked around at the young bridge crew with a tinge of sorrow. He was after all a big softy at heart. It was such a shame that so many of them probably wouldn't make it out alive....
.....
And for the background to a proposed campaign that never happened...
Admiral Michael Day stared sullenly out of the viewport that graced the captain's ready room on board his starship, the USS China Doll. He was an Admiral, not some mere Captain. A mission of the upmost importance they said to the Xaos cluster.
"Is everything alright sir?" his executive officer, Commander Andrew Tonybee asked.
"Yes, number one. I just..."
"Hate boring missions like this sir?" grinned Andrew.
"No not the mission Number one, the waiting to get to the mission! A boring six week cruise just for a run of the mill mission to visit a run of the mill star cluster." Admiral Day sighed and streched himself uncomfortably in his chair.
"Oh Starfleet Science feels this is some sort of amazing unique formation of stars that must be catalogued," he went on, "And as you've probably guessed Number One, the China Doll was the only ship available that is outfitted with the necessary scientific equipment to make the study."
"Well for a run of the mill star cluster it sure is spectacular sir. Massive spatial anomalies, black holes with stellar systems orbiting! Quite incredible." Commander Tonybee replied.
"Yes Commander." smiled Admiral Day. "We'll make sure we take a lot of pictures for the eggheads back home."
"Yes sir. Our first port of call is a small M class planet 5 light years away. We'll be there in 2 days." Tonybee nodded.
"Excellent. Should be good to see dry land again. Dismissed."
Behind the China Doll however, slipped a monsterous Raptor class Romulan warship hidden behind the thin veil of her cloaking device. Aboard her, was her commander, Emerald Edge.
"Yes. That is correct Michael." sneered the Romulan arrogantly. "You will lead us to the treasure, and then... boom!" Emerald Edge balled his left hand into a tight fist sharply for dramatic effect. How he loved drama.
With a sweeping gesture he turned to face the giant Gorn head mounted upon the furthest most bulkhead of his bridge.
"Yes old friend." he grinned. "You remember well this trick? For it is the same one I played on you so many years ago."
Emerald Edge gestured once and his crew quaked in fear before him. His glory. He so enjoyed the look on their faces. Their fear at the true stature of his power.
"Yes. Well I remember your fury old friend." giggled Emerald Edge manically. "When my plamsa torpedos crippled your ship ripe for boarding. Well I remember the glorious hand to hand combat, except that I had a plasma rifle and you did not. If only you could see the indignity of being mounted on my bridge, and worse, the indignity of being the best gloves I've ever had!"
Admiring his gloves for a second, Emerald Edge turned on his heel again and faced his viewscreen.
Again he laughed. "One wonders what I will make out of this, this human and his crew? Perhaps a gift for my wife." he mused.
....
Several boring days later, the China Doll held high orbit around a beautiful M class planet, purple clouds glistening against deep red seas.
"Incredible," gasped Commander Tonybee. "Worth the wait sir?"
"Sir, we are being hailed from the surface. It appears to be an automated signal. Thousands of years old." Ensign Paula Mitchell spoke up from her position at tactical.
"Put it on Ensign." Admiral Day replied.
"I am Supreme Master Ta'ol of the Xaosian Foundation. I represent the last of my people. Despite our banishment from the realms of existance, we retain our claim to this area of space. Leave now, and do not return."
"Sir, I'm reading massive archelogical discoveries below. The technology appears to be at least the equal of our own if not greater." Commander Tonybee practically yelled from tactical. "This must be an ancient Xaosian colony world. The discoveries here could be the equal of the Iconians! I suggest we send a message back to Starfleet and get more ships out here. There could be more worlds like this, if we could find their homeworld..."
"Make it so." nodded Admiral Day.
"Message se... Sir, we are being hailed. Unknown origin, but it is nearby." Ensign Mitchell turned to look at her commanding officer with concern in her eyes.
"Yellow alert Ensign."
"Done sir." replied Mitchell nervously.
"On screen."
The image of a grinning Romulan admiral filled the viewscreen of the China Doll's bridge. Several crew members gasped, in particular at the stuffed and mounted Gorn impaled on the bulkhead behind the figure.
"I am Admiral Emerald Edge of the Romulan Star Empire. I ask what you are doing in this area of space, so far from Federation interests." mock concern dripped from the Romulan's tongue.
"This is neutral space Admiral." Day practically hissed. "The Federation has as much business here as you do! Not that our business is any of yours."
"Be reasonable Michael." Emerald Edge enjoyed watching his opponent seeth with the humilation and insult of being referred to by his first name by a fellow officer in a formal setting. "Surely we, who were allies against the hideous threat of ISC aggression, should work together to benefit both our peoples." Yes, let the human let his guard down a little, see if he could be goaded to lowering his shields.
"An ally doesn't hide behind his cloak Admiral." growled Admiral Day with quiet fury. "If you are committed to peace as you claim show yourself. This is neutral space, there is no need for cloak and daggers here.
"Yes Admiral, as you seem so keen to keep on reminding me, this is neutral space, I agree with your worthy judgement." laughed Emerald Edge. "Which means there isn't anyone from your precious Starfleet to hear your screams. Or your message, which I blocked..."
The viewscreen on the bridge of the China Doll flicked to the image of a Romulan warship decloaking and preparing to fire.
"Red alert!" cried Admiral Day. "All hands to battlestations!"
Battle was about to be joined. And soon it would engulf forces from across all corners of the quadrant. All keen to find the secrets of Xaos, and the treasures contained within.
Topic: The captain profiles Janus/Delta One did. (Read 3244 times)