The end of the day? a story by KAT M?Ress.
My day at work started out like most normal days. I get up, get ready for work, eat breakfast, kiss the wife, and head out the door. Once I get to work, things go downhill from there. Like I said, most normal days.
Today was no exception. Physically it was good. Nice day for a walk, installing machines in a building with a gorgeous view of Lake Ontario, CN Tower and the docks filled with Cruise boats being readied for the summer tours.
Logistically it was a nightmare. Someone gave me the wrong directions to the building, I wound up in the ?wrong? dock (ewww!), the machines to be installed were two hours late, and the info for the configuration never showed up.
But that?s all another story.
The real excitement started when I got home. The wife (Redfur) and I had stopped at her parents for dinner before we came home. We entered the garage, opened the door, piled everything in and shut it behind us.
You know when you?ve lived in a home for a while, it develops an atmosphere. An atmosphere that says ?home? to you. One that makes you feel comfortable and warm. This house that we?ve lived in for just under a year has developed this already. What can I say, it spoke to us, that?s why we bought it.
It wasn?t there tonight. As soon as I stepped in the mudroom door, I knew something was wrong. I stopped dead in my tracks. Redfur bumped in to me.
?What?s wrong?? she says.
?Not sure. Listen.?
And we both cocked our heads in an effort to listen more intently. That?s when I saw something. My flowers (I'm the one with the green thumb) had made a mess all over the landing on the stairs. Problem is, flowers don?t throw their leaves 3 feet away. Something had done this. But what?
That?s when we heard it. A noise from upstairs, that sounded like something running across the floor. Fear started to set in. The pets were upstairs and something was in the house with them. Visions of two mangled bunnies and one pudgy ferret started to filter into my conscience. What kind of beast had gotten in to our house? How did it get in? Worry about that later, just get it out now.
We ran up the stairs to the bedroom door behind which their separate cages resided. The door was half closed. I got right up to it, with Redfur right behind me desperately trying look over my shoulder ( which is damn near impossible as I?m 6 feet and she is only 5 feet tall).
What we saw was unbelievable. One sleeping ferret and two mesmerized bunnies watching the starling fly about the room alarmed by our sudden entrance.
A bird. A f***ing bird. Somehow a bird had got into our house!
Redfur and I exchange puzzled looks. The bird stops briefly, looks at us and says ?Crawk!? and flies away again.
Great. How does one go about getting an unwanted bird out of ones house?
First off, I wave out Redfur and close the door. Tell her to go downstairs and unlock the front door. Meanwhile I close all the doors upstairs (so the bird can?t escape anywhere else). Then I grab a large fluffy pink towel (belongs to the ferret as bedding) and proceed with ?Operation Birdie Rescue?. I get back to the room just as Redfur arrives after unlocking the front door and moving a few other things out of the way. We step in.
Birdie is sitting on the ceiling fan. Since the fan is turned off, this is fairly comfortable for him.
?Here birdie, birdie, birdie.? I call softly as Redfur closes the door behind me. Birdie takes one look and ZOOM! Right into the closet.
Great. That?s all I need. A whole slew of ?bird coming out of the closet? comments.
Well all the other pets? food was in there, so that?s probably why the bird he went in there. So I head over carefully stepping over cages as I go, Redfur offering encouragement of ?be careful?. I open the door and Birdie flies out. I swear he was going for the eyes!
He flies around the room, crawking, with me in hot pursuit dancing and jumping over cages, boxes and Redfur (trying to stay calm, telling me to be careful). All the while the bunnies are watching with intense curiousity (they?ve never seen a bird this close) and the ferret kept sleeping.
Finally, Birdie landed IN the bunnies cage (more food). So I throw the towel over the cage, covering the door. Birdie is trapped. Or so I thought. The minute I move the towel, Birdie takes flight. Grab towel, rinse and repeat.
By now Redfur is getting rather excited, the bunnies are still watching (not moving) and the ferret is still sleeping (don?t ask me how).
Birdie lands IN the cage, again. Throw towel, trap Birdie.
Dumb bird won?t fool me again. So instead of moving the towel, I insert my hands, pushing the towel into the cage. It works. Birdie is trapped in the corner. I move my hands further in and around pinning him right in the corner (without touching him). I very carfully close my fingers around him, using the towel as padding (and protection from that beak), and gently begin to extract him from the cage.
Problem, he?s got a grip on the cage. So using my other hand I softly unpluck his claws from the metal. Whereupon he sticks his head THROUGH the cage looks at me and says ?CRAWK!? I?m sure that doesn?t translate nicely.
Once all his claws are unhitched, I gently pull his head out and quickly wrap him up. Redfur opens the door and I run downstairs and out the front door and open the towel. Birdie immediately takes flight with a ?CRAWK!?, which I?m sure is Bird for <expletive deleted>.
We head back upstairs after closing the front door and lo and behold the ferret is awake!
?Hmph. Some predator you are.? and she proceeds to poop on the floor. Guess who forgot to close the bedroom door.
So the bird is rescued and everyone is happy right?
WRONG!
Now that the excitement is over, we take stock of what happened. He must have gotten in through the furnace exhaust vent. Being a new house we haven?t got a mesh up to prevent this yet. We also discover that Birdie has gone through the house and sampled all my plants. African violets, Amaryllises, Begonias, Miniature trees and Ivies have all been ?tasted?, nested, or spilt. One Ivy HAD standing water in it (I watered last night), but not anymore. I believe Birdie also took a bath in the bunnies water bowl.
After a couple of minutes of cleaning, I realize that my sock is sticking to the floor. Guess what?
Well, even birds in trouble have to answer the call of nature. What?s worse is the trail I left around the house. So I takeoff offended sock...
?only to find another ?message?.
The messages continued, throughout the kitchen, up the stairs, into the bedroom. But above all, was the long thin drippy yellow one on the wall. Under the kitchen window. Behind the Amaryllis and Miniature Jade tree. Apparently the window surprised him.
Surprised him, a lot.
After another half an hour ?Operation Cleanup? was complete. By now it?s too late to login and I?ve only got enough time to relate my story and go to bed.
Morale of this story: Cover the accesses into your house with mesh and watch your step!
Topic: The end to my day... (Read 4054 times)