zonealarm is my software firewall.
the on lan network game has to still go through this.
Right, but the scope see... is different.
Next step? Turn off ZoneAlarm. I assume the Windows firewall is already off?
I ran a Quiz hosting webserver behind Zonealarm once. It was completely random as to whether or not clients could connect. I figured out that Zonealarm was the problem just before I lost the job.
You are already behind a router with a firewall, if you keep your OS up to date there is absolutely no need for Zonealarm. (unless you browse a lot of porn and download a lot of movies and crap that may have trojans in it - do that on a different computer if so)
Ten years no software firewall here - ten years virus and trojan free. It is all in how you browse.
Actually, come to think of it The first year OP was out I was using Zonealarm (Only a year or two old iself). I kept getting dropped from missions. My paranoia assumed I was being hacked. I berated poor MaxTorps or MaxWhoever was hosting the server. I uninstalled Zonealarm and magically stopped losing connection.
Software firewalls cause more problems than they solve. Here's why: They are software. See, if your CPU is already busy at over 80% running a game, then it does not have much time to run two virtual ethernet adapters to filter traffic from the hardware ethernet adapter. That is a job to be handled by outboard hardware before it get to your lan card. There is the same problem with just about any USB device.
Let's say someone drops a smackload of high-poly fighters. While my cheap vid card and cpu lags for 500ms drawng pretty pictures, that could be enough to put a comms timeout over... especially if a software fireweall is waiting for cpu time to filter packets before delivering them.
Again, are you wired to the router?
SFC networking is highly allergic to both Zonealarm and Wireless. I would not even try to play over either.
Disable Zonealarm fully (stop all if its services it it has any now). Ensure you are wired to the router. Try again.
I have to run to the store in a bit but can try hosting a game for ya when I get back. ('bout two hours - or at some point over the weekend here)