Topic: Just a fun link to horrible RPG deaths.

[Sirgod]

I know many of us in the past have told our stories of Death in AD&D or the like, But I stumbled across this site tonight by accident. Some of them are very funny.

http://users.tellurian.com/dano/hallname-hijk.html

Here's a few examples.

Female Elven wizard,  Dungeons and Dragons
CAUSE OF DEATH: Running to a militia-controlled city for necessities, she ticked off the border patrol for refusing to explain her business. A bard later penned an epic ballad of her death (very popular in my campaign world) -- "She was shot and shot and shot and shot and shot once or twice more, then the bayonettes, they flew, and then she was shot some more."
EPITAPH: And shes buying a stairway to heaven.

Male Military Historian,  Call of Cthulhu (1920's)
CAUSE OF DEATH: Amongst a library's in the rare books viewing room, Major Portifoy found a rare Italian translation of the Unausprechlichen Kulten. Normally he would have been satisfied to simply peruse the book and return later, but at this time his sanity was not at its best. Knowing the curator would ask to inspect his valise before he left, the Major decided to create a diversion by starting a fire, while he made good his escape and stole the book. Unfortunately, he became lost amongst the rows and stacks of books. Shortly thereafter he was overcome with smoke inhalation, passed out, and was consumed by the fire.
EPITAPH: "I suppose I could stuff it down the back of my pants... No, that'll never work..."

Human Bounty Hunter/Mercenary Leader,  SWR : DoE
CAUSE OF DEATH: After recieving his new custom made armor from a friend, OwEn proceeded to remove his current armor and change into the new stuff. Just as he was practically naked, his trusted leiutenant shot him in the head with a blaster rifle and took the 2 billion credit bounty on him.
EPITAPH: He killed the most,
more than anyone else could boast,
but now he lies on the ground, fried like toast.

Male Halfling Thief,  AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Natural causes, While attempting to pick the pocket of a companion for the umpteenth time, who HAD been charmed by a magic ring to like him, Parn was beaten beyond recognition upon discovery, and the revelation that his Half Orc Barbarian companion was no longer in posession of the ring that had saved him , oh so many times before.
EPITAPH: Veni, Vidi, Oopsie!

Anyways, a lot more there, Just thought some of you might enjoy a giggle or two.

Stephen

[Nemesis]

PC F/Th 2nd edition:  Is supposed to attack the opposition from behind and kill its wizard (in darkness opposition has infravision so does F/Th).  He decides to use his brand new sword whose properties had not yet been fully identified.  The instant he draws the sword it begins to shine quite brightly.  Mass attack on F/Th by everyone not directly on the barricade against the other PCs.  Scratch F/Th.

Later the sword was correctly identified.  It would shine when touching living flesh - the F/Th was bare handed.

Wizard 1st Edition:  Decides that he can handle the White Dragon guardian alone and enters the cave.  Flash of fireball is seen - then the screaming starts. 

The Player complained bitterly about the amount of protection from fire the White Dragon had.  I reminded him that this dragon that belonged in an arctic environment was known to be active in summer in a sub tropical environment and needed the heat protection just to survive.  He should have known better (note this was a stock 1st edition dragon).

For a change of pace a silly survival story:

Maxwell (my PC) 1st edition Cleric of the Goddess of Luck.  Dexterity 4 plate mail and shield.

Group has to ascend a 200' cliff via stairs with no hand rails.  The 1st 100' was up the side the next 100' was through a slot cut into the cliff itself (too wide to touch both sides for balance).  Due to the 4 Dex no one was willing to be behind Maxwell and Dex checks were required to go up the stairs. 

Unknown to the group an assassin was after Maxwell, the DM had been making rolls to decide if the assassin had caught up, he did so on the stairs. 

Maxwell had made it to the "slot" by great luck on the Dex rolls when he finally failed one, the assassin was close enough behind to also be in "the slot" but not close enough to attack.  Maxwell fell, hit the assassin and was allowed another Dex check to catch himself, which he made.  The assassin was given two dex checks (with an 18 dex) one to keep from falling when Maxwell hit him and another to avoid going over the edge - both failed.  Maxwell then made it to the top and the group sent the thieves down to find out what he hit (they heard the screams of the falling assassin).  They recovered a few things including a ring of invisibility and the letter from the assassins guild assigning the killing of Maxwell to the dead assassin.

Some time after the adventure when the story of the assassins death was spread Maxwell received a notice from the guild that the contract had been canceled.  The guild didn't want to try again to kill someone blessed by the Goddess of Luck.

Maxwell's whole career was a string of good luck.  Failed die rolls that helped him avoid traps, natural 20's when throwing hammers (with dex of 4 remember).  Until his last adventure it seemed NOTHING ever went wrong for him without it being good for him that it did.  In that adventure when it looked like the group was going to be destroyed he called out to his Goddess and promised that if she let him save the group he would cease to adventure and build the temple he had long promised her (and had the money saved to build).  He didn't fail a die roll for the rest of the battle and his damage rolls all at least approached maximum as did his healing spells.

He did retire to build the temple.

[Nemesis]

Drow Wizard PC 2nd editions:

Decided to dedicate himself to evil.  Insisted as Player to DM that his Wizard was NOW evil.  The DM gave him 3 chances to change his mind but he was adamant that his wizard was EVIL.

He then heard from his left DIE EVIL DROW!  From the PC bearing the Intelligent sword with the Special Purpose of Slay Evil Drow.  From the right he hears DIE EVIL WIZARD! from my PC who wielded an Intelligent sword with the Special Purpose of Slay Evil Wizards.

The expression on the Players face was quite precious when he realized that only he had forgotten those swords and their purposes.

The other player claimed the dead wizards Ring of Regeneration, when my PC claimed the spell book he realized that nice as the Ring was he DESPERATELY needed a spellbook as he had none of his own.  After copying the spellbook I traded it back to him for the Ring.  He was not pleased. 

[Sirgod]

LOL, those are great.

Stephen

[Nemesis]

Situation, I'm DM'ing but the group did switch around DM's and we all have characters.  One of my characters (Valder) was (by my as DM stating it was so) captured and an evil artifact used to make him "evil".  He was leading the opposition and had earlier acquired 3 captives (2 PC 1 NPC) from the group and using the artifact had them geased (or quested I forget which) to serve him.  The main group not being sure what was going on arranged a meeting under truce flag with some conditions, 2 people per side no weapons to be drawn or magic used.

The meeting was out in the open the local peasants working the fields were aware of the meeting and truce (Valder had informed them - he wanted witnesses).  Suddenly Valder is backstabbed by a Drow who had been invisible.  The 2 PCs there for the truce drew weapons and attacked.  The Geased PC acting as Valders body guard tries to stop the Drow and the other 2 PCs, the leader of the PCs shouts "DON"T KILL HIM" to his companion (about the bodyguard) and proceeds to kill the bodyguard himself. 

The leader lost track of what he was doing and forgot he was trying to recapture the bodyguard at that point and didn't restrain his own attacks.  He never did live it down as he was always critical of other people mistakes.  The phrase "Don't kill him" was used rather more frequently than he liked to remind him of his faults.

Valder then (using a helm of teleportation) teleported himself and the body of the guard to a safe location and made sure the story of the PCs "trying to assassinate him" and working with "Drow assassins" was spread by the peasants.  It severely handicapped information gathering by the PCs.  Valder had been very careful in establishing himself as a kind and benevolent overlord to the peasants.  The "assassin" also fled the scene as planned.

Note:  The whole thing was a setup to damage the PC's reputation.  With them attacking immediately after the Drow and killing the bodyguard the peasants quite naturally reported them as working with a Drow assassin.  The "assassin" was working for Valder and was part of the group that had captured him and converted him to their side (and boosted his power while bonded to the artifact making him the leader of the opposition). 

As DM I was using a limited reputation system and this encounter boosted the "Infamy" points of the 2 PCs involved while boosting the fame for Valder and the bodyguard. 

[Nemesis]

Group ~7th level had hit a teleport trap and most of the characters had ended up in different locations and had to find each other.  One didn't make it back.

Fighter (over 6' tall), plate mail and 2 Handed Sword, location a large room designed by a madman.  There are stairs going up almost to a landing less than 2 feet from the ceiling.  Fighter is attacked by group of small creatures (low HD and damage).  As he decimates them they retreat up the stairs, he follows.  He ends up on hands and knees on that landing swinging his 2 handed sword 1 handed and very ineffectually.  He is repeatedly warned that he is taking large penalties to hit and on AC (lowered effective dexterity) but fights to the death.  If he had stayed on level ground he could have easily slaughtered the whole group if they pursued him. 

Player complained bitterly for a long time about losing his favourite PC and wouldn't accept any blame for his death.