A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in a psychological test. They sat on one side of a room and waited not knowing what to expect. A door opened on the other side and a naked woman came in the room and stood on the far side. They were then instructed that every time they heard a beep they could move half the remaining distance to the woman. They heard a beep and the engineer jumped up and moved halfway across the room while the mathematician continued to sit, looking disgusted and bored. When the mathematician didn't move after the second beep he was asked why. "Because I know I will never reach the woman."
The engineer was asked why he chose to move and replied, "Because I know that very soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"
------------
An physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all given the task of determining the volume of a little red ball.
The physicist says "This is too easy..." and fills a graduated cylinder with water, places the ball in the water, measures the displaced volume and reports the volume of the ball.
The mathematician responds "It's even easier than that," and derives an equation for the volume of a sphere as a function of its diameter, measure the diameter, and calculates the volume.
The engineer laughs and says "I've got you both beat" and pulls out a table of volumes of little red balls.
------------------------------------
A biologist, engineer and mathematician were having coffee on the patio.
Across the street they watch as two people walk into a house. A few minutes later, three people leave the house.
They start to discuss how that could happen.
Biologist: The two people copulated, reproduced and three people leave the house.
Engineer: That's wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.
Mathematician: You're both wrong. if another person enters the house it will be empty again.
==============================================================
A doctor, a priest and an engineer go golfing. The group in front of them is really slow and hitting their balls in every-odd direction. When one of the groundskeepers comes by the doctor, priest and engineer start to complain. The groundskeepers then tells them "that's a group of firefighters who lost their sight last summer when our pro-shop caught fire, we now let them play here for free whenever they want." The doctor remarks, "I have an optometrist friend. I'll give him a call and see if he can help these guys." The priest says, "How unfortunate. I'll pray for these poor men." The engineer exclaims "why can't they play at night?!"
==============================================================
So a group of 10 engineers and 10 mathematicians are going to a conference by train. They all gather at the ticket booth before getting on the train, and the mathematicians go up and buy 10 tickets, one for each of them. The engineers follow them, but when they arrive at the ticket booth, they buy only a single ticket.
The mathematicians laugh to themselves about the engineers and how they will never be able to get to the conference with just one ticket. In any case, they all board the train. When the conductor shouts "All aboard!" and goes around collecting tickets, the engineers pile into the bathroom. The conductor goes around stamping all tickets and when he arrives at the bathroom, he knocks and says, "Ticket please." One of the engineers then slips the ticket under the door. The conductor stamps it, sends it back under the door, and tells him to have a good trip.
Seeing this, the mathematicians become rather impressed. Indeed, on the way back after the conference, they decide to order a single ticket instead of one for each of them. However, the engineers refrain from buying any tickets whatsoever. As before, the mathematicians become confused and start laughing at the engineers amongst themselves. The time comes, and they board the train.
This time, however, when the conductor yells "All aboard!" and starts stamping tickets, the mathematicians pile into the bathroom just as the engineers did earlier. After they are piled in, one of the engineers then knocks on the door and says "Ticket please."
==============================================================
An engineer, a mathemetician and a physicist are staying in the same hotel. A fire breaks out on the three floors they're on. The engineer wakes up, grabs the trash can, runs to the bathroom, fills the can and douses the flames before heading back to bed. The physicist wakes up and sees the fire. He grabs the notepad on the nightstand, determines the exact amount of water needed to put out the fire, collects that amount of water and puts out the fire. The mathemetician wakes up, sees the fire and also grabs the notepad on his nightstand. He sits on the edge of his bed calculating the amount of water required to put out the fire. After a few moments, he stands up and shouts "A solution exists!" before going back to bed.
----------------------
Stephen
Topic: A few jokes. (Read 1033 times)