Topic: JOTD  (Read 1221 times)

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Offline toasty0

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JOTD
« on: April 19, 2009, 04:28:16 pm »
Q: What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.

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Offline S'Raek

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Re: JOTD
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2009, 04:55:42 pm »
 :rofl:

Veritas vos Liberabit -- Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis

Offline toasty0

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Re: JOTD
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2009, 10:40:19 pm »
Blond Handywoman

A blond, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire
herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing the
neighborhoods. She went to the front door of the first house
and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he
said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blond quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything
she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing
the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize
that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to
believe all those dumb blond jokes we've been getting by
e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blond handywoman came to the door to
collect her money.

"You finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blond replied, "and I had paint left over, so I
gave it two coats - no extra charge."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and
handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blond added, "it's not a Porch -- it's
a Lexus."
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Offline Nemesis

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Re: JOTD
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2009, 11:54:10 pm »
THE LOVE STORY OF RALPH AND EDNA

 Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

 He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there..

 Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

 When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

 The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

 Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Do unto others as Frey has done unto you.
Seti Team    Free Software
I believe truth and principle do matter. If you have to sacrifice them to get the results you want, then the results aren't worth it.
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