Topic: spam letter

[Don Karnage]

i received a new letter for money, just another spam:


Barr: Ben Johnson

And Co-chambers Attorney & Counselors At Law.

Federal High Count, White House Building

14 Degbago Crescent P.M.B. 5028 Accra,

Republic of Ghana West Africa

Email: www.info.barr.ben.johnson@gmail.com

Mob: (00233) 248 843 873

Tell: (00233) 247 560 907

Fax: (00233) 212 873 90

_________________________________________________________02/08/2008

 

Dear Confidence,

How are you doing today hoping fine? Here is Barrister: Ben Johnson, have just decided to contact you on this situation and to bestow this trust on you, which I pray you will not ignore or betray me at last. I'm apologized in advance for any inconveniences this may cause you.

 

I am a Personal Attorney to late Mr. George K. Williams, who was a contractor here in Accra Republic of Ghana. Who, on December 2003 with his entire family perished in the Air-Crash on board From Continuo republic of Benin to Beirut? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3348109.stm

 

As a matter of fact, my client made a fixed deposit Amount, valued at (US$12 Million US Dollars) with Eco Bank here in Accra-Ghana, and upon the duration time from their agreement the bank started contacting him but there was no response Consequently, The Bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin to the deceased as his personal attorney or have his account confiscate after five years as it is in the law of this country.

 

Since then, I have secretly made several contacts to His Country's Embassy in order to locate any of my clients extended relatives which had also been unsuccessful. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over three years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since none of his relatives were no where to be found so that the proceeds of this account valued at (US$ 12 Million US Dollars) could be transferred into your account, thereafter, we will both share it in percentage according to our contributions to boost the success of this great transaction.

 

I have all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up all the claims we will make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us making this great benefiting transaction successfully. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me as fast as possible. To enable us discuss further progress of this business. In your response please kindly include your full names and your direct telephone number for our easy communication hoping to hear from you urgent thanks you.

 

Regards

Hon: Barrister: Ben Johnson Esq.

Senior Advocate of Ghana Chambers (SAB)

 
hom many sucker will fall for that?   

[Dracho]

I love the premise of these things: I trust you to help me break the law..

[Don Karnage]

yea, trying to move money outside the country, if you get cut you go to jail   

[Don Karnage]

i received another one:

Good Day,

Good day, I am MR.CHAO WEI, Bank of China (Hongkong),I have a business proposal of (US$18,600,000.00) for you from my bank.
Finally after that I shall provide you with more details. Email: chaoweihkk@yahoo.com.hk
Please contact us this Email: (chaoweihkk@yahoo.com.hk)

Regards,
CHAO WEI.

who want to share it with me? 

[Roychipoqua_Mace]

Spam is so fun to get! I really like those classic "Nigeria bank scams."
Here's one I saw on another board recently. Strangely, it doesn't really advertise anything and there are no links. Gibberish too 


In bathlodgings terms at least, bigger doesn't parkill of to be high-class ? It's all unbiased a sprain out that in the rounded offt of of making the most of the subdued proplatter aps you're perfectly nowed with! And what's
more, deceitful a bathfrontier that's trivial on latitude handling but big on fragment and functionality should be a lot more fun. The Click Bathlimits bossman to maximising a unimportunate bathfrontier follows three four-square principles? 1 - design it grace apparent bigger A stunninglycustomary way of tackling a bathlodgings with mean dimensions is by creating the originality of latitude. brilliant
and brilliant, aim to insymbole your embankments in luminosityer shades such as whites, creams and pastels, thereby avoiding the darker inales that dramatichastisey sensational the message of latitude entings a lesser lodgings. honouradept fying is also a signal rook in expanding the look of your bathlodgings. By illuminating blocks that are accumbent to shadows with odoriferous directional fys you'll luminosity upon that the play opens up rounded off further. last dissection, bid to give up a apprehension of latitude centre of the deft use of mirrors, which positioned correctly can hence the crunch by a lodgings come to fy to duplicated in size. For uttermost absorbed, adorn the clandestinely divider of the lodgings with one or more generous mirrors, or a tot up of lesserer mirrored tiles. 2 - Utilise unfathomadept or involved spaciousnesss ebare so time to get enterprising and nominate b assess peak the box; can you utilise latitude that isn't at the discard of a hat obvious? Start at the substructure by identifying any within reach low-altitude spaciousnesss - shelter bath storage is a marvy way to trickery b conrobust towels and toiletries out of tragedy for a start. If you're struggling to furlough up low-up on spaciousness, secluded hung ceramic ware can keep worthy remarkably loam block. Then it's over again to committedion the happy-lay leftover times ? taste hooks and hangers can destinationively substitute the require for vast closets, whilst a handsome ladder mode in flames towel centrusty can airily bring back together all trusty towels and dressing gowns. Don't legal leave in the towel up on the macabre or unexpected latitudes your bathlodgings may mention to you. Corner fit WCs and basins can agony in to the tightest of blackheadss, whilst abridged headland bathsection devices and ceramic ware allowances should also end up equally profitproficient with spaciousness. 3 - Get multifunctional If time is genuinely at a incthingent, try selecting bathlimit elementss and fixtures that ring up more than one purpose. Choosing a associated plenteousness bath superior contemplate you the spoll of pacific bathing or foolhardy and like a murmur of modern air drizzleing without occupying the amount of latitude else desirableed. Then there's the dual functionality of the hot towel ing, working as both a radiator and a storage article, or bathlodgings cabinets that appropriate shelf time, luminositying and mirrors. when all is said, look to articlee typical bathsection things to create compatible multifunctional bathlodgings splashs. An inset ceramic basin can be housed on top of a broad mapping vapidity component to present a trend washstand with far-reaching low-altitude storage. Stquits CooperClick BathlimitsFor the totality spaciousness restitutive bath
frontier products, pop in Click Bathplays

[Storvick_XC]

I just got one that claims to be from FedEx for a ton of  money.. LOL I already reported it to FedEx, here is a copy of it:
Dear Customer!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your  Package that
is registered with us for shipping to your residential location.We had
thought that your sender gave you our contact details.It may interest you
to know that a letter is also added to your package.However, we cannot
quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank
Draft worth $800,000.00 USD, FedEx does not ship money in CASH or in
CHEQUES but Bank Drafts are shippable.We are sending you this email
because your package is been registered on a Special Order.

What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for
immediate dispatch of your package to your residential
address.Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your informations,
it will take only one working day (24 hours) for your package to arrive it's
destination.For your information, the VAT & Shipping
charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your sender before
your package was registered.Note that the payment that is made on the
Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify
that the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it funds
to sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you avoid any form of
query from the Monetary Authority of your country.

However, you will have only to pay a sum of $200USD to the FedEx
Delivery Department for the Security Keeping Fee of your parcel to
the FedEx company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also
be informed that your sender wished to pay for the Security Keeping
charges, but we do not accept such payment considering the facts that all
items & packages that is registered with us have a time limitation and we
cannot
accept payment not knowing when you will be picking up the package or
even responding to us.So we cannot take the risk to have accepted
such payment incase of any possible demurrage.

Kindly note that your colleague did not leave us with any further
information.We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible
because if
you fail to respond until the expiry date of the foremost
package, we may
refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare as the
package do
not have a return address.

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post)
with the details given below:

FedEx Delivery Post
Contact Person:  Daniel Blunt
Email:fedex_deliverydept02@live.com
Tel: +234 80-3065-2397

Kindly complete the below information for confirmation

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:


As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will
give you the neccessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment
for the Security Keeping.

Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high
priority of your package we had to inform you. We indeed personally sealed
your Bank Draft and we found your email contact in the attached letter as
the recipient of the foremost package.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Margaret Blaire.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------
This E-mail is only for the above addressees. It may contain
confidential
or Privileged information. If you are not an addressee you must
not copy,
distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it or any
attachments.

[GotAFarmYet?]

Actually I get spam like this from my Hotmail all the time

The clue is the @live mail address if you see it delete it as it also contains a virus usually. Next step is to send a copy to the FBI for Fraud so they have a record.

[marstone]

i received another one:

Good Day,

Good day, I am MR.CHAO WEI, Bank of China (Hongkong),I have a business proposal of (US$18,600,000.00) for you from my bank.
Finally after that I shall provide you with more details. Email: chaoweihkk@yahoo.com.hk
Please contact us this Email: (chaoweihkk@yahoo.com.hk)

Regards,
CHAO WEI.

who want to share it with me? 

I like how a big wig from a bank would be using a yahoo email account.  Oh-yeah, this is the real deal.

[Just plain old Punisher]

The broken pidgeon english should give it away, but there STILL are people out there who fall for this scam because you're still getting it in your mailbox.

[Czar Mohab]

The saddest part is that somewhere, someone actually is waiting on a package containing money, has a Pay-pal issue, etc. And, at the same time, there probably was at least one legitimate email trashed because of these stupid scams.

And why is it when someone that has been sending me email forever sends an email that goes to junk mail folder, but these stupid scams more often than not get through?

Czar "Need a better filtering system," Mohab

[Czar Mohab]

FWIW:

 Hello Sir/Madam,
 
 
COMPLIMENT OF THE SEASON!!! Would u like to work online from home and get paid weekly?LISA  TEXTILE FABRICS LTD needs a book-keeper (financial representative) in the state, so I want to know if u will like to work online from home and get paid without leaving or affecting your present job.It's just that I presently run a textile and fabrics firm I inherited from my late Dad in the UK and we need someone to work for the company as a financial representative/book keeper in the states.
My company produces various clothing materials, batiks, assorted fabrics and traditional costume which we have clients we supply weekly in the states.
 
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR US?
My Company needs a financial representative in the usa who will serve has our agent in processing any of our funds made out to us by our us customers and clients in us money orders or cashiers check this is because this legal entity takes a long period of time to clear in our banks in uk and due to frequent request and supplies of product we do not meet our demand due to this failure so that why we seek your time and assistance.
 

JOB DESCRIPTION?
1. Receive payment from Clients
2. Cash Payments at your Bank
3. Deduct 10% which will be your percentage/pay on Payment processed.
4. Forward balance afar deduction of percentage/pay to any of the
offices you will be contacted to send payment to (Payment is to forwarded either by Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer).
 
HOW MUCH WILL YOU EARN?

10% from each operation! For instance: you receive 7000 USD via checks or money orders on our behalf. You will cash the money and keep $700 (10% from $7000) for yourself! At the beginning your commission will equal 10%, though later it will increase up to 12%!
 
DO YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THE TRANSFER FEE FROM YOUR PERCENTAGE?
No you do not have to, all necessary transfer fees should be deducted from the balance after you must have cashed and deduct your 10% of total money received while finish cashing.
 
ADVANTAGES
you do not have to go out as you will work as an independent contractor right from your home / office. Your job is absolutely legal. You can earn up to $3000 - 4000 monthly depending on time you will spend for this job.You do not need any capital to start. You can do the Work easily without leaving or affecting your present Job. The employees who make efforts and work hard have a strong possibility to become managers. Anyway our employees never leave us due to our excellent work condition.
 
MAIN REQUIREMENTS
18 years or older
legally capable
responsible
ready to work 3-4 hours per week.
With PC knowledge
e-mail and internet experience (minimal)
if you are interested in our offer, and would like to work for LISA TEXTILES  fabrics ltd, kindly get back to us via email with the requested details.
 
FULL NAME
CONTACT ADDRESS
PERSONAL CELL PHONE NUMBER
SEX
AGE
DRIVER LIENCENSE NUMBER
PRESENT JOB,IF EMPLOYED
 
And please know that everything is absolutely legal, that's why you have to fill a contract! This contract will definitely be email to you by our attorney after your interest must have been received and the information required
I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE...............
PLS NOTE; SEND ALL RESPONSE TO gabesmomy90@yahoo.com
 
 
REGARDS
 
Mr. Lisa Fele

Czar "Mister Lisa is waiting for you!" Mohab

P.S. Would be nice if it was real.

[Ravok]

Spam is so fun to get! I really like those classic "Nigeria bank scams."
Here's one I saw on another board recently. Strangely, it doesn't really advertise anything and there are no links. Gibberish too 


In bathlodgings terms at least, bigger doesn't parkill of to be high-class ? It's all unbiased a sprain out that in the rounded offt of of making the most of the subdued proplatter aps you're perfectly nowed with! And what's
more, deceitful a bathfrontier that's trivial on latitude handling but big on fragment and functionality should be a lot more fun. The Click Bathlimits bossman to maximising a unimportunate bathfrontier follows three four-square principles? 1 - design it grace apparent bigger A stunninglycustomary way of tackling a bathlodgings with mean dimensions is by creating the originality of latitude. brilliant
and brilliant, aim to insymbole your embankments in luminosityer shades such as whites, creams and pastels, thereby avoiding the darker inales that dramatichastisey sensational the message of latitude entings a lesser lodgings. honouradept fying is also a signal rook in expanding the look of your bathlodgings. By illuminating blocks that are accumbent to shadows with odoriferous directional fys you'll luminosity upon that the play opens up rounded off further. last dissection, bid to give up a apprehension of latitude centre of the deft use of mirrors, which positioned correctly can hence the crunch by a lodgings come to fy to duplicated in size. For uttermost absorbed, adorn the clandestinely divider of the lodgings with one or more generous mirrors, or a tot up of lesserer mirrored tiles. 2 - Utilise unfathomadept or involved spaciousnesss ebare so time to get enterprising and nominate b assess peak the box; can you utilise latitude that isn't at the discard of a hat obvious? Start at the substructure by identifying any within reach low-altitude spaciousnesss - shelter bath storage is a marvy way to trickery b conrobust towels and toiletries out of tragedy for a start. If you're struggling to furlough up low-up on spaciousness, secluded hung ceramic ware can keep worthy remarkably loam block. Then it's over again to committedion the happy-lay leftover times ? taste hooks and hangers can destinationively substitute the require for vast closets, whilst a handsome ladder mode in flames towel centrusty can airily bring back together all trusty towels and dressing gowns. Don't legal leave in the towel up on the macabre or unexpected latitudes your bathlodgings may mention to you. Corner fit WCs and basins can agony in to the tightest of blackheadss, whilst abridged headland bathsection devices and ceramic ware allowances should also end up equally profitproficient with spaciousness. 3 - Get multifunctional If time is genuinely at a incthingent, try selecting bathlimit elementss and fixtures that ring up more than one purpose. Choosing a associated plenteousness bath superior contemplate you the spoll of pacific bathing or foolhardy and like a murmur of modern air drizzleing without occupying the amount of latitude else desirableed. Then there's the dual functionality of the hot towel ing, working as both a radiator and a storage article, or bathlodgings cabinets that appropriate shelf time, luminositying and mirrors. when all is said, look to articlee typical bathsection things to create compatible multifunctional bathlodgings splashs. An inset ceramic basin can be housed on top of a broad mapping vapidity component to present a trend washstand with far-reaching low-altitude storage. Stquits CooperClick BathlimitsFor the totality spaciousness restitutive bath
frontier products, pop in Click Bathplays

 You know I got one like this once, and didn't know what the hell, to think about it.  Or what it was supposed, to be about.
 Weird Huh?

[Roychipoqua_Mace]

You know I got one like this once, and didn't know what the hell, to think about it.  Or what it was supposed, to be about.
 Weird Huh?

Yes, it's strange how these spammers haven't realized that if they used a spellchecker and read their junk before they sent it off, the spam would be much more convincing!
Is this one about making a better bathroom or something?

[Don Karnage]

here another one, like a stranger will give you money?, yea right.

remove the "dear sir" with "dear sucker" and maybe people will be less stupid to fall for that.



Dear Sir,
 
I am Cisse Fadiga and my sister Aminata Fadiga,It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I and my sister ,intend to establish in your country. Though we have not meet you before but I  believed,one has to risk confiding in succeed sometimes in life.
 There is this huge amount of ($2.800.000) dollars which my late father deposited with a Security Company here before he was assasinated by unknown persons.Now I and my sister decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe enough outside my country for security and
political reasons.I want you to help us to receive this fund from the Security Company into your
personal account in your country for investment purposes on these areas:
 
1). Telecommunication
 
2).  Transport Company
 
3). Hotel investiment,or any investment that you know very well that can help our future life with this money.
If you can be of an assistance to us, we will be pleased to offer to you 12% Of the total fund,
God Bless you.
Cisse and Aminata.

[Don Karnage]

i received another one today.

Dear Friend,

I know that this is a surprising message to you as wehave not meet each other before, I hope and pray to GOD that I have theright person. My name is Vincent fabu ouedraogo, a merchant in Gabonese Republic. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer . It has defiledall forms of medical treatment, I have spent all my money through my brothers claiming that they want to help my critical IL-health conditionwhile using my money for themselves. They have even bribed my doctor totell me that I have only about a few months to live. Though I am veryrich, I was never generous, and only focused on my business as that wasthe only thing I cared for and i did all this because of my inability tobear a child that is why my brothers want me dead so that they take allmy wealth.

Because of my being impotent i adopted a female child as i cannot born and i cannot live alone.I do not trust my brothers anymore to die here and live the adopted girl in their mix, as they seem not tobe happy with me and her they have sworded not to allow her live sothat they can easily inbound all my belongings immediately i die. Nowthat my health has deteriorated so badly and i cannot do things myselfanymore i will like you to do me a favor and i don't want any ofbrothers to know about this development. I strongly believe that our Godalmighty can still change my ILhealth condition. I want you to helpreply back immediately so that me and the poor girl that i adopted in amotherless home can fly to meet you in your country before anythinghappens to me here.I have money which no one knows about and isamounting at Four million GBP £4,000,000, in a pounds starlling accountthat I have in a foreign bank. I believe that with this funds you can help this my sickness by arranging a specialist for me.

I need your urgent response so that i can give you my account informations and thecontact person in the bank that knows me and the account to release thefunds to you so that you can start immediately to direct us to meet youin your country.I have attached my private email to you for reply because i wrote through the help of one of the nurses here in the Hospital.Thanks i await your urgent response.

God be with you
Mr.Vincent fabu ouedraogo.


and here where they came from:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Br6dK5yZQk

[Roychipoqua_Mace]

What I not understand is why they haves s uch odd spelling, grammar, and punctuatio.n


Free VkAGRA,C I  A   L   I  S..online.pharmacyyys


And then the obligatory random message at the end?:
"Steengo was stern, Tremearne uncommunicative-as was Mata. Floyd was
until you return. A payment of one fedha is required for attendance."

[Nemesis]

What I not understand is why they haves s uch odd spelling, grammar, and punctuatio.n


Free VkAGRA,C I  A   L   I  S..online.pharmacyyys

Most spam filters will take out messages which use the correct spelling of pharmacy or viagra.    So they use misspellings to bypass the filters. 

[Don Karnage]

here something to watch if you have a spam filter software. 

[Czar Mohab]

I've got one more! From Lt General Richard Johnson (Rtd)! I think Rtd is supposed to mean "retard" in this context:

CONFIDENTIAL DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT.‏
From:    Lt General Richard Johnson (Rtd). (mr.richard@ng.com)
   Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent:    Tue 11/18/08 1:59 AM
To:    

THE PRESIDENCY
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
Aso Rock villa, Asokoro District, Abuja
 
CONFIDENTIAL DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT.
 
SIR/MADAM,
 
I am Lt General Richard Johnson (Rtd), National Security Adviser to the new Nigerian President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua. I am delighted to inform you that the contract panel, which just concluded it's seating in Abuja just released your name among contractors to benefit from the Diplomatic Immunity Payment.  This Panel was primarily delegated to investigate manipulated contract claims, contracts and over-invoiced payment as the effect has eaten deep into the economy of our dear country.
 
However, we wish to bring to your notice that your contract profile is still reflecting in our central computer as unpaid contractor while auditing was going on.  Your contract file was forwarded to my office by the auditors as unclaimed fund, we wish to use this medium to inform you that for the time being Federal Government of Nigeria have stopped further payment through bank to bank transfer due to contractors numerous petitions to United Nations against Nigeria on wrong payment and diversion of contract funds to different account.
 
In this regards we are going to send your contract part payment of 10Million USD. To you via our accredited shipping company and I have secured every needed documents to cover the money. Note: The money is coming on 2 security proof boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine. Please you don't have to worry for anything, as the transaction is 100% risk free. The boxes are coming with a Diplomatic agent who will accompany the boxes to your house address. All you need to do now is to send to me your full house address and your identity such as, international passport or drivers license and your mobile phone and telephone number, The Diplomatic Attachй will travel with it. He will call you immediately he arrives your country's airport. I hope you understand me.
 
Please kindly get back to me today also with the requested information's so that we can proceed on this matter as soon as possible.
 
1) Your full name.
2) Phone, fax and mobile #.
3) Company name, position and address.
4) Profession, age and marital status.
5) Copy of int'l passport, driver's license, or any valid ID card.
 
Note: The diplomat does not know the original contents of the boxes. What l declared to them as the contents is Sensitive Photographic Film Materials for security reasons. I did not declare money to them please. If they call you and ask you the contents please tell them the same thing Ok. Email me and I will let you know how far I have gone with the arrangement. Confirm the receipt of this message and send the requirements to me immediately you receive this message. Please I need urgent reply because the boxes are schedule to live as soon as we hear from you.
 
Contact me on my private email address at {mr.richardjohnson4@msn.com} for easy contact.
 
Congratulations.
 
Best Regards,
 
Lt General Richard Johnson (Rtd).
National Security Adviser to the President
Federal Republic of Nigeria

The one thing I don't get is why they don't change their country... By now they must realize that Nigeria isn't as credible as a money giving country anymore. This is also one of those times I think Dateline should do a "To Catch a Thief" (instead of a Predator) episode. I'd LOVE to see that.

Czar "Richard Johnson... Now that's a funny name," Mohab

[Czar Mohab]

WOW! Now the FBI is helping me to get Nigerian Money! (It was on the next page so I didn't see it, or I would have posted with the last post)

Medium risk  This message was marked as junk and will be deleted after ten days.
Federal Bureau Investigation................(ATM CARD)‏
From:    Robert S. Mueller III (fbi@fbi.gov)
   Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent:    Mon 11/17/08 9:15 AM
To:    
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
TEL/FAX 202 386 6756
Website: www.fbi.gov
 
ATTN: BENEFICIARY.
 
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and some impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation agents and EFCC and ICPC. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
 
So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in the total amount of $800,000.00 USD which will be deposited into an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw funds anywhe Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been involved in this transaction, you are now to be rest assured that this transaction is legitimate and completely risk-free as it is our duty to Protect and Serve citizens of the United States Of America.
 
All you have to do is immediately contact the ATM CARD CENTER via E-mail for instructions on how to procure your Approval Slip which contains details on how to receive and activate your ATM CARD for immediate use to withdraw funds being paid to you. We have confirmed that the amount required to procure the Approval Slip will cost you a total of $296 USD which will be paid directly to the ATM CARD CENTER agent via Western Union Money Transfer / MoneyGram Money Transfer. Below, you shall find contact details of the Agent whom will process your transaction from Federal Minister of Finance:
 
CONTACT INFORMATION FEDERAL MINISTER OF FINANCE.
ATM CARD CENTRE
NAME: MR. PAUL SMITH
HOT LINE:+234-7068019880
EMAIL: paul.smith98@live.com
 
Immediately contact Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM Card Centre with the following information:
 
Full Name: Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Direct Phone Number:
Current Occupation:
 
Once you have sent the required information to Mr. Paul Smith he will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of $296 USD for the Approval Slip after which he will proceed towards delivery of the ATM CARD without any further delay.
 
You have hereby been authorized/guaranteed by the Federal Bureau Of Investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be NO delay once payment for the Approval Slip has been made to the authorized agent.
 
Once you have completed payment of $296 to the agent in charge of this transaction, immediately contact us back for more investigation for conformation of your ATM card. The both offices are working 24hours to get this project complete.
 
Federal Bureau Investigation
 
Robert S. Mueller III
Director, FBI

I'd like to think that they would be asking my help in taking down the Nigerians' money schemes, not helping me get Nigerian money.

Czar "Mueller? Mueller?" Mohab