Topic: I like pie

[Just plain old Punisher]

I prefer pie to cake. Don't you? Cake is cake, but pie is pie, and well pie is better than cake.

Hookers are better than pie, which means that hookers are better than cake as well -- but not always. Some of the time pie is better than hookers, but usually not cake, so pie can be better than hookers, but never cake.

It's refreshing to have constants in ones life.

Pie will always be better than cake, and sometimes it's better than hookers.

[Centurus]

Ahhh, but is pie better than poonanny when you haven't gotten laid in several aeons.

[knightstorm]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

[Centurus]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

[knightstorm]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

[Centurus]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

I don't care how much she was or wasn't worth.  She was still pretty damn fine.  Not my absolute ultimate choice in women, but damn, wouldn't kick her out of bed.

[Beeblebrox]

I prefer pie to cake. Don't you? Cake is cake, but pie is pie, and well pie is better than cake.

Hookers are better than pie, which means that hookers are better than cake as well -- but not always. Some of the time pie is better than hookers, but usually not cake, so pie can be better than hookers, but never cake.

It's refreshing to have constants in ones life.

Pie will always be better than cake, and sometimes it's better than hookers.

You know you've been watching too many mobster films when you hear pie as.....pie....and cake as sniff.  Damn you, Scorcese!  Damn you, David Chase!!  Damn you, DeNiro and Pesche!!

 

[knightstorm]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

I don't care how much she was or wasn't worth.  She was still pretty damn fine.  Not my absolute ultimate choice in women, but damn, wouldn't kick her out of bed.

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

I don't care how much she was or wasn't worth.  She was still pretty damn fine.  Not my absolute ultimate choice in women, but damn, wouldn't kick her out of bed.

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

How much would you pay?

[Centurus]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

I don't care how much she was or wasn't worth.  She was still pretty damn fine.  Not my absolute ultimate choice in women, but damn, wouldn't kick her out of bed.

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

How much would you pay?

*dives around his room and collects any and all dollar bills and loose change he can find*

Right now I can afford $17.23, and a black lump of something squishy that may or may not have been alive at one time.

[Nemesis]

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

How much would you pay?

It seems Punisher plans some moonlighting.

[Dracho]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

Yeah.. and a BMW doesn't seem worth more than an Audi either... until you drive it.   

[Centurus]

Have you been talking to Eliot Spitzer?

I wish.  He's got great taste in pootang.

I would disagree.  She was definitely not worth $5,500.

Yeah.. and a BMW doesn't seem worth more than an Audi either... until you drive it.   

Nice one.

[S'Raek]

Who doesn't like pie?  Strawberry pie, pecan pie, apple pie, chocolate cream pie, peach pie.....there's something there for everyone!  And pie isn't all dry and crumbly like cake.  In order to make cake worth eating you have to  put ice cream on it. 

[Just plain old Punisher]

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

How much would you pay?

It seems Punisher plans some moonlighting.

Bah!

Who doesn't enjoy a little haggling?!

[Centurus]

Neither would I, but I wouldn't pay $5,500 for an hour with her either.

How much would you pay?

It seems Punisher plans some moonlighting.

Bah!

Who doesn't enjoy a little haggling?!

Little haggling?  *pictures Punisher dressed up as a midget hag*

[Just plain old Punisher]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

[Centurus]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

[Centurus]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

[Nemesis]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

You just noticed that?

[Nemesis]

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

I haven't been in H&S much myself lately or I would need to be added to that list.   I find that periodically I must take a "rest" from H&S, now is one of those times. 

[Centurus]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

You just noticed that?

Take it easy on him.  He's had to deal with me for a long time.  Researchers are still trying to determine the long term effects such and experience has on the human mind.

[Nemesis]

Take it easy on him.  He's had to deal with me for a long time.  Researchers are still trying to determine the long term effects such and experience has on the human mind.

Now you sound like my friends and co-workers talking about me.  That is scary.

[CaptStumpy]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

Yessss....Feel their hate. It only makes you stronger...Come to the dark side and take your place at Punisher's side. It is your destiny!

[Centurus]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

Yessss....Feel their hate. It only makes you stronger...Come to the dark side and take your place at Punisher's side. It is your destiny!

Actually it's the other way around.  :-p  He's always at my side.  Now if only I could keep him from humping my leg all the time.

[Centurus]

Take it easy on him.  He's had to deal with me for a long time.  Researchers are still trying to determine the long term effects such and experience has on the human mind.

Now you sound like my friends and co-workers talking about me.  That is scary.

I told you before to stop pretending to be me.  Now you must pay me 35 bucks a month.  MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nemesis]

I told you before to stop pretending to be me.  Now you must pay me 35 bucks a month.  MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since you're younger than me that means you're pretending to be me.  So you pay me.

[Centurus]

I told you before to stop pretending to be me.  Now you must pay me 35 bucks a month.  MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since you're younger than me that means you're pretending to be me.  So you pay me.

Nice try.  I was like this since I was born, so therefore, you are pretending to be me.  You must pay me, or else I'll start doing the Tango in a speedo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*loves his new keyboard*

[Nemesis]

Good try junior but I've been "odd" longer than you've been alive.  Go ahead with the Tango as long as you stay south of the border.

[Centurus]

Good try junior but I've been "odd" longer than you've been alive.  Go ahead with the Tango as long as you stay south of the border.

Actually, junior is my uncle and cousin.  I wasn't named after anyone.  And I was odd since before I was born.  I passed odd when I was born.

And I'm gonna tango and disco all across the solar system.  And I'm starting with Canada and Montana!!!!!

[Just plain old Punisher]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

Yessss....Feel their hate. It only makes you stronger...Come to the dark side and take your place at Punisher's side. It is your destiny!

Actually it's the other way around.  :-p  He's always at my side.  Now if only I could keep him from humping my leg all the time.

It isn't my fault that your leg is so humpable.

Really, the fault is yours.

[Centurus]

Ah here, I found the problem.

Your imagination was set to "wierd".

What do you mean "set to"?  It only comes in weird.

Come back to H&S =P

We miss you.

Only you and Stumpy.  The rest I'm pretty sure are glad to see me gone.

Yessss....Feel their hate. It only makes you stronger...Come to the dark side and take your place at Punisher's side. It is your destiny!

Actually it's the other way around.  :-p  He's always at my side.  Now if only I could keep him from humping my leg all the time.

It isn't my fault that your leg is so humpable.

Really, the fault is yours.

I suppose your right.  But you don't have to staple beef jerky to my leg all the time.

[Just plain old Punisher]

I always like to have a snack after sex, you know that.

[Centurus]

I always like to have a snack after sex, you know that.

This is true.  But normally is zombie flesh.  Not beef jerky.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Beef jerkey, dried flesh of a human zombee...same diff.

[Centurus]

Beef jerkey, dried flesh of a human zombee...same diff.

Not really, cause 1.) zombie flesh isn't dried, just whethered and chewy cause it's still decomposing, and 2.) beef jerky gives me heartburn and is tough as hell, and expensive to boot.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

[Centurus]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

[marstone]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

Remove tenderness maybe, but only if you smoke it to long.  As for flavor, well, a good smoke will add much to the flavor of zombee flesh.

(Hmmm, what wine would go with zombee flesh?? or is it a beer that goes well with it.)

[Beeblebrox]

I would imagine you'd want a good stout lager or a nice dark beer with zombie flesh.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

Sometimes I wonder if MADD and the NAACP combined into one organization -- would they call themselves Mothers against the advancement of colored people?

[knightstorm]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

Remove tenderness maybe, but only if you smoke it to long.  As for flavor, well, a good smoke will add much to the flavor of zombee flesh.

(Hmmm, what wine would go with zombee flesh?? or is it a beer that goes well with it.)

I enjoy my zombie flesh with some fava beans and a glass of chianti.

[Centurus]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

Sometimes I wonder if MADD and the NAACP combined into one organization -- would they call themselves Mothers against the advancement of colored people?

No, it's Mothers Against The Advancement Of Drunk Driving Colored People, and Ted Kennedy.

[Centurus]

Bah! You just haven't cured your zombee flesh right!

I got a zombee flesh smokehouse last year, and I never looked back!

When you cure your zombie flesh, you remove the flavor and tenderness of the flesh.  *smacks Punisher with a rubber chicken and turns him into Michael Jackson and has him redo the Thriller music video*

Remove tenderness maybe, but only if you smoke it to long.  As for flavor, well, a good smoke will add much to the flavor of zombee flesh.

(Hmmm, what wine would go with zombee flesh?? or is it a beer that goes well with it.)

Keep in mind when human flesh becomes zombie flesh, you automatically reduce what you can or can't do with the flesh in terms of curing it while retaining flavor and tenderness.  Unless the zombie flesh you're using is from someone that's only been a zombie for no more than 5 minutes.  5 minutes tends to be the time period in where most of the flesh is still identical to regular human flesh, but as the zombification process continues past that point, it rapidly becomes more like the flesh from a person that's been dead for at least 10 years.

At that point, zombie flesh undergoes a period of slow decomposition, so the zombie doesn't decompose into a giant lump of sludge bile with no decernable tissues or bones.

And apple cider with some cinnamon goes nicely with zombie flesh.  It brings out the ultimate flavor.

[Beeblebrox]

Sometimes I wonder if MADD and the NAACP combined into one organization -- would they call themselves Mothers against the advancement of colored people?

That's it; decision made.  I'm going to fall into line with the 21st century race aesthetic.  From now on I will only refer to African-Americans and Hispanics as "colored people".  In fact I'd like to start right away by stating that Barack Obama is the finest colored man I have encountered up to this point in my life.  (Is it taking things too far if I just shorten that and simply refer to African-Americans as "coloreds"?) 

I enjoy my zombie flesh with some fava beans and a glass of chianti.

No!  No!!  NO!!!  When will you fools learn?!  It's chianti with liver.  The strong flavor of zombie flesh requires a darker, smokier liquor like scotch whiskey.

[Centurus]

Sometimes I wonder if MADD and the NAACP combined into one organization -- would they call themselves Mothers against the advancement of colored people?

That's it; decision made.  I'm going to fall into line with the 21st century race aesthetic.  From now on I will only refer to African-Americans and Hispanics as "colored people".  In fact I'd like to start right away by stating that Barack Obama is the finest colored man I have encountered up to this point in my life.  (Is it taking things too far if I just shorten that and simply refer to African-Americans as "coloreds"?) 

I enjoy my zombie flesh with some fava beans and a glass of chianti.

No!  No!!  NO!!!  When will you fools learn?!  It's chianti with liver.  The strong flavor of zombie flesh requires a darker, smokier liquor like scotch whiskey.

*smacks Beeblebrox with a rubber chicken and turns him into Star Jones' crotch*

[Just plain old Punisher]

What can you expect centur? The man has absolutly no taste!

[Centurus]

What can you expect centur? The man has absolutly no taste!

Taste is one thing.  A working neuron, quite another.  :-D

Speaking of taste, what happened to the spare Borg body parts I had in the fridge?  It's Murray's birthday next week, and he and all the rubber chickens love Borg.

[knightstorm]

What can you expect centur? The man has absolutly no taste!

Taste is one thing.  A working neuron, quite another.  :-D

Speaking of taste, what happened to the spare Borg body parts I had in the fridge?  It's Murray's birthday next week, and he and all the rubber chickens love Borg.

Borg meat is horrible.  Too many wires running through it.  If you want good meat, try Ferengi.  All of those tube grubs make them so succulent. 

[Centurus]

What can you expect centur? The man has absolutly no taste!

Taste is one thing.  A working neuron, quite another.  :-D

Speaking of taste, what happened to the spare Borg body parts I had in the fridge?  It's Murray's birthday next week, and he and all the rubber chickens love Borg.

Borg meat is horrible.  Too many wires running through it.  If you want good meat, try Ferengi.  All of those tube grubs make them so succulent. 

To my rubber chicken, Borg is like a choice cut of steak, cooked to perfection by the gods.  I use Ferengi meat as washing tools for when I'm cleaning down certain starships of people I really don't like.  Corrodes the hull quite quickly.  MUAHAHA!!!!!!

[Dracho]

I used to like pie..

then I read this thread...

[Centurus]

I used to like pie..

then I read this thread...

Kinda reminds me of the time you were crying in fear when you found out that there are natural redhead latin women.

[Just plain old Punisher]

I used to like pie..

then I read this thread...

I aim to please.

Now that I have your attention, perhaps you'd like to hear about my opinions on beer...?

[Centurus]

I used to like pie..

then I read this thread...

I aim to please.

Now that I have your attention, perhaps you'd like to hear about my opinions on beer...?

That the yellow and various colors that beers around the world come in is due to what color urine is placed in it, and whether or not it has a reddish tint is based on if there was blood in the mix?

Or does it have something to do with the fact that I use radioactive dyes to secretly place all of humanity in a situation where I can easily control their minds through radiowaves and mindless sports programs.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Radioactive dye? That's nothing! Punisher Industries was responsible for the creation of cholestra!!!

Anal leakage anyone?

[Centurus]

Radioactive dye? That's nothing! Punisher Industries was responsible for the creation of cholestra!!!

Anal leakage anyone?

Oh that's nothing.  I was having anal leakage long before the invention of that stuff.  Besides, all Punisher Industries did was invent a very expensive way to make people fatter.  Hell, you could have invested on subliminal messages to make people eat more and save a ton of money in the process.  End results would have been the same.  That's why I was able to outbid you on that auction last year for that quantum particle accelerator.  Makes great popcorn.

However, to recoup your losses, I suggest that you switch to Geiko.

[Dracho]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

[Centurus]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

We know.  Why do you think we're keeping the insanity down to a minimum. 

*looks at Pun*  Whenever we think of others, it always goes unnoticed.  Why do we bother?

[knightstorm]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

And guests will witness a dignified discussion about such things as the value of hookers, the proper preparation of zombie flesh as well as what to serve with it, and anal leakage.  I see no problem.

[Just plain old Punisher]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

Strangers?! HERE?!

WE MUST DESTROY THEM!!!

CIRCLE THE WAGONS! BREAK OUT THE SMALL ARMS AND AMMO! PREPARE THE NUDY MAGAZINES!!!

[Centurus]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

And guests will witness a dignified discussion about such things as the value of hookers, the proper preparation of zombie flesh as well as what to serve with it, and anal leakage.  I see no problem.

*pats Knightstorm on the head and gives him a solid gold cookie with platinum chips*

[Centurus]

Fellas, do remember that Ten Forward is open to guests.

Strangers?! HERE?!

WE MUST DESTROY THEM!!!

CIRCLE THE WAGONS! BREAK OUT THE SMALL ARMS AND AMMO! PREPARE THE NUDY MAGAZINES!!!

No no no, we don't circle the wagons, we square the wagons.  Put them in a square, so it takes them longer to walk around us.

*breaks out the pictures of Stephen in the grass skirt*

We're ready for them!!!

[Just plain old Punisher]

NAY YOU FOOL! WE PLACE OUR WAGONS IN A RIGHT TRIANGLE FORMATION!!

WE SHALL CHOAK THEIR RIVERS WITH OUR DEAD!!

[Centurus]

NAY YOU FOOL! WE PLACE OUR WAGONS IN A RIGHT TRIANGLE FORMATION!!

WE SHALL CHOAK THEIR RIVERS WITH OUR DEAD!!

Hmmm.....choking their rivers with our dead.  Hmmmm.....very tempting idea.  I'm split between that, and just me bathing in their rivers. 

And the right triangle isn't enough.  We need an isosolese (sp?) triangle.  That way we can war, and learn geometry.   

[knightstorm]

NAY YOU FOOL! WE PLACE OUR WAGONS IN A RIGHT TRIANGLE FORMATION!!

WE SHALL CHOAK THEIR RIVERS WITH OUR DEAD!!

Lets just break out the guns and cap those fools.

[Nemesis]

WE SHALL CHOAK THEIR RIVERS WITH OUR DEAD!!

That is where you go wrong.  The proper way is to:

Choke their rivers with their dead.  Unless you are Kzin of course.

[Centurus]

WE SHALL CHOAK THEIR RIVERS WITH OUR DEAD!!

That is where you go wrong.  The proper way is to:

Choke their rivers with their dead.  Unless you are Kzin of course.

Na.  I've got plans for their dead.  As for our dead, I kinda screwed them up too much when they were alive, so they're of no use to me dead, so we either give them funerals, or choke others rivers with our dead.

Either way, I've got plans for their dead.