Topic: OT: William Shatner Facts  (Read 1425 times)

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intermech

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OT: William Shatner Facts
« on: December 04, 2007, 06:55:28 pm »
Hey ya'll, I saw this website and thought it was funny:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Wouldn't it be fun to have one for William Shatner Facts. Post your fun facts here:

Offline Red_Sharif

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Re: OT: William Shatner Facts
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2007, 07:19:56 pm »
Posted at coldfusionjedi.com by Phillip Senn:


Phasers do not affect James T. Kirk, since he cannot be fazed, regardless of the situation.

James T. Kirk cannot be immobilized by the Vulcan nerve pinch, since he has nerves of steel.

If a Vulcan (other than Spock) attempted to mind-meld with James T. Kirk, he would be instantly reduced to a quivering, illogical mass of protoplasm in the face of Kirk's unutterable intellect.

Aliens are forced to speak English in the presence of James T. Kirk, even if they don't know it.

James T. Kirk can located dilithium from parsecs away.

The Enterprise can exceed warp factor 9 when James T. Kirk needs to defy hyper physics to arrive somewhere quickly.

James T. Kirk can regenerate hair in any color or consistency on a whim.

Tiberius Ceasar was actually named after James T. Kirk, when the latter saved the young emperor's mother from a hoard of angry Carthagians during a time-travel incident.

If the Borg connected to James T. Kirk, HE would assimilate THEM.

James T. Kirk can free-climb Olympus Mons without a spacesuit.

James T. Kirk can target the warp drives of a starship class he has never seen.

There are tribes in the interior of Irian Jaya that will not be discovered until the 23rd century, when James T. Kirk makes contact.

When the NSA tapped James T. Kirk's communicator, all they heard were recordings beginning, "Captain's log, Stardate...."

James T. Kirk holds the Roddenberry Chair of Haute Logique at Vulcan National University in perpetuity.

The original Enterprise has no holodeck, because James T. Kirk could just reprogram the computers to simulate any reality he wanted.

James T. Kirk holds all his senior staff meetings in the Transporter Room.

James T. Kirk created his own branch of mathematics called the Captain's Log to the base "T.", which represents the power to which a number must be raised to match Kirk's intellect.

James T. Kirk's IQ is the 44th Mersenne Prime.

Offline atheorhaven

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Re: OT: William Shatner Facts
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2007, 08:07:39 pm »
James T. Kirk cannot die, becaause Death is a woman, and he slept with Her.

James T. Kirk single "handedly" repopulated with the female population of five solar systems when their entire male populations were wiped out.  Because one of the men insulted his hair.  This accounts for one year of the missing five years after TOS.

There are five universal constructs present in any part of the universe:
- matter
- energy
- space
- time
- James T. Kirk's omnipresent Awesomeness.

God was taking his time creating the universe until James T. Kirk's spirit kicked him in the ass and told him to get creating women so that they could revel in Kirk's Maleness.

Lady Luck is Kirk's first mistress, next in line behind the Enterprise.

... and we continue.. >:)
..ooOOoo..totally useless information..ooOOoo..

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Offline Julin Eurthyr

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Re: OT: William Shatner Facts
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2008, 08:53:33 am »
James T. Kirk was once roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris:

The resulting explosion destroyed the planet it occured on and created a new parallel universe.
Kirk walked away from it with his shirt shredded...

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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: OT: William Shatner Facts
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2008, 01:30:59 pm »
One James T. Kirk Flying Kick (JTKFK) has enough power to keep Stratos airborne for a year.

The only reason they used a starship to disable the Doomsday Machine was because James T.Kirk is irreplaceable.
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