Topic: SFC Caption Contest!! (Read 2438 times)

Panzergranate · « **on:** September 30, 2007, 09:11:08 pm »

Below is an unfortunate situation someone found themselves in duirng this Sunday's LAN camppaign here. Anyone familiar with playing against Kzinti or Mirak will recognise the situation.

The Klingon ship is a SFB K-MON (monitor) whilst the Kzinti ships are all DDs, six of them to be exact. Apart from the 12 x Drones visible on the screen view, there are another 8 x Drones coming in from the left side of the screen out of view.

The snapshot was taken approximately 2 seconds before the otherwise undamaged K-MON was destroyed.

Needless to say, out of a force of 1 x K-MON and 5 x G1 PFs, this is the last Klingon ship in the game.

The K-MON has a top speed of 12 only, shileds 36 all round and to make matters worst, the player has just fired all the Ph2 and Ph3 turret batteries at a Kzinti DD just out of view.

So the Caption Contest can involve what the player is thinking, what the crew of the monitor are doing or maybe even the Kziinti are up to.

You can't use "Oh sh*t.... Oh Sh*t.... Oh Sh*t.... Oh Sh*t.... Ba**rds!!" as we've already heard this one in sync with the actual event!!

Panzergranate · « **Reply #1 on:** September 30, 2007, 09:29:06 pm »

Captain Karg began to suspect the Talisman to ward of Drones, that he'd bought from a Ferengi Trader, might be a phony!!

Lieutenant_Q · « **Reply #2 on:** September 30, 2007, 09:31:48 pm »

What do you mean the Transporters are OFFLINE?!

FPF-Tobin Dax · « **Reply #3 on:** September 30, 2007, 10:45:06 pm »

"Dying today really sucks!"

Vipre · « **Reply #4 on:** September 30, 2007, 10:54:53 pm »

Join the Imperial navy they said...Defend the empire they said...They can go f@#$ a tribble!

The_Joker · « **Reply #5 on:** October 01, 2007, 12:50:34 pm »

Now I know what the woman in those Japanese porn flicks feels like.....

Julin Eurthyr · « **Reply #6 on:** October 01, 2007, 12:58:19 pm »

Overheard from Kzinti Operation Commander:

"They always say it's a good day to die. We say it's a great day for a bar-b-que. Coincidence that our aims line up so nicely?"

Panzergranate · « **Reply #7 on:** October 01, 2007, 01:50:43 pm »

Weapons Officer: "Launching Microsoft Decoy Shuttle, Captain!!"

<Click launch MS Decoy Shuttle>

Computer: "Are you sure YES / NO??"

Weapons Officer: "F**king YES!!"

Computer: "Incoming Drone incompatable with MS Decoy Shuttle!! Contact Microsoft Help Desk!!"

Weapons Officer: "F**king Micr........"

Panzergranate · « **Reply #8 on:** October 01, 2007, 02:06:44 pm »

Or....

Weapons Officer: "It's no use Captain.... the Microsoft Anti-Drone system is just too slow to target the enemy Drones.... They appear to be using a LINUX based guidance system...."

Commander Maxillius · « **Reply #9 on:** October 05, 2007, 07:17:03 am »

(Tactical computer screen)

Targeting system has performed an Illegal Operation and has shut down.

Also, there was an error in handling the previous error. Reboot? (Y/N)

Panzergranate · « **Reply #10 on:** October 05, 2007, 09:49:51 pm »

Only minutes earlier, Captain Karg had quenched his thirst with a can of that strange Terran drink called Dr. Pepper.

After all, like it said on the packaging advertisement, "What's the worst that can happen??"

Strayy · « **Reply #11 on:** October 06, 2007, 09:34:12 am »

Captain to Tactical Officer:

You upgraded our defensive computer to windows vista ?? !!!!!!!

Vipre · « **Reply #12 on:** October 06, 2007, 11:13:42 am »

Klingon XO: What do you mean the captain's personal shuttle just launched!

(note: Ya I know it's not a shuttle but I couldn't think of a way to get him in a drone/missile/escape pod)

Rat Boy · « **Reply #13 on:** October 06, 2007, 11:36:38 am »

Klingon Weapons Officer: "Sir, I'm reading over a dozen drones inbound, but I have good news."

Klingon Captain: "What good news?"

Klingon Weapons Officer: "I saved a ton of money by switching to Geico."

Panzergranate · « **Reply #14 on:** October 06, 2007, 03:50:28 pm »

Klingon Captain- Damn!! Looks like I'm about to loose my no claims bonus!!

3dot14 · « **Reply #15 on:** October 10, 2007, 06:17:48 pm »

"Activate the Omega-13 Device!!!"

(for those of you who don't know what I am talking about, you should really watch Galaxy Quest with Tim Allen)

Dash Jones · « **Reply #16 on:** October 10, 2007, 11:24:15 pm »

I said Warp Speed...Not Dog Feed!

Bonk · « **Reply #17 on:** October 10, 2007, 11:29:53 pm »

Klingon First Mate: Sir... um, I don't think it was such a good idea to ignore the command and control restrictions on monitors.
<the Klingon first mate vanishes in the captain's sidearm disruptor blast, leaving only his boots>
Klingon Captain: (muttering) No one like a smartass, especially when they're right.

Panzergranate · « **Reply #18 on:** October 11, 2007, 06:09:05 pm »

First Officer: Shall I take us to Brown Alert Captain??

Captain: Sound Brown Alert!!

First Officer: BROWN ALERT!! BROWN ALERT!! All hands start panicking and crapping yourselves!! BROWN ALERT!! BROWN ALERT!!

OR

First Officer: It could be worst Captain, imagine the number of Drones a Kzinti SSCS would have fired at us!!

News: