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Offline Governor Ronjar

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#13: Intel
« on: September 26, 2007, 11:37:53 pm »
Almost renamed this one 'Recon', but decided to keep with Intel.

Last time, on Star Trek: Endeavour...

Bronstien got his new legs, Ford spoke with Keller, which few really commented one, Ford comforted Bronstien, Ford sent hand-picked volenteers on a daring-do mission behind enemy lines against the better wishes of his commanding officers. Davenport, Bronstien, Smith and a nurse all piled aboard the Sanchez and set off...

And now...the conclusion...  [*waits for some kind of beam to shoot out of the deflector dish or a flaming Bird of Prey to roar by using file ST IV footage...*]



Star Trek
Intel
CH. 1





Commander Ronald Davenport found himself unconsciously hunkering in his seat. After three days of skulking through the Tempest Plasma Storms and avoiding Ya’wenn patrol ships, his ship and crew were near to their goal. And now that they were so near to the Kovarn system, the crew of the recon shuttle Sanchez stood the greatest chance of being discovered.

Lieutenant Noah Smith bent over the intelligence station on the port side of the small cockpit. Sweat was beading up on the young, blonde haired officer’s brow as he studied the deployment of sensor devices that were arrayed before their craft to stop would-be intruders just like them. Smith glanced up to Ronald. “They’ve really increased their security since we last came through here.”

Ron nodded his agreement. His own operations panel showed no less than twenty remote sensing platforms emplaced in the area before the Sanchez. Over Warden Jarn’s men had learned a lot from the Tenseiga’s incursion a month or so prior. They were covering all their blind spots.

Sanchez was aligned behind the eighth planet in the Kovarn System. The gas giant was an enormous obstacle with a high radiation level that blocked out all but active sensor probes and visual scans. Captain Thomas of the Tenseiga had used this world as a means to approach deep within the Ya’wenn’s backyard when he’d come to rescue Commodore Ford. Now the rebel Ya’wenn had sewn the gap in their security net up tight.

“We’ll need to find a better way in. We’ve used everything this planet has to offer in the way of protection.” Davenport told his four-man crew. Each nodded silently, moving only to wipe away sweat from their eyes.

All aboard the Sanchez had long ago shed their duty jackets and wore only their tunics. And those were hot enough. Ron really wished he’d thought to have everyone bring lighter clothing. Given the proximity of the plasma rifts and the necessity of running every power system at minimum output, including life support and air conditioning, this shuttle was becoming a smelly oven. The only one among them who had not complained about the heat was their medical officer, Nurse Tyler. She’d simply taken off her bra and her boots and adjusted silently. Among everyone aboard, she probably had the most right to complain, having the least reason to be here in the first place…

Lieutenant Johnathan Bronstien sat in the single, encapsulated pilot seat up in the canopy-covered nose of the ship. He watched the far away planet move slowly amid all the clouds of drifting gas, arcing electricity back and forth. He’d barely moved from that seat in the last three days. “Where do we wanna go now, boss?”

Davenport bent his eye to the sensor display before him with renewed earnest. Such a massive planet such as Kovarn VIII was bound to drag home a lot of freeborn space garbage. There were sure to be useful asteroids passing through this sensor net. Ron studied the sensor panel intently, altering his detection grid a few times. It did not take him long to find a likely suspect.

“Okay, John-Boy. Alter course to 322 mark 015. Increase velocity to three hundred meters per second.” The mission commander told the pilot. Bronstien acknowledged by swinging the shuttle’s nose toward the targeted rock and firing a short burst of the RCS thrusters. Sanchez responded swiftly, and soon the grey hunk of space trash was growing to sizable proportions outside the rounded canopy.

For such an abused piece of flotsam, the asteroid was remarkably smooth on its surface. Few craters had marred its exterior. Ron continued to scrutinize the asteroid on his scopes.

“We’re in luck. This floater has a huge iron deposit and a magnetic signature that will mask our power bleed-off. Its course should make it slingshot through the eighth planet’s orbit and gain speed as it heads in toward the system core. Angle in on its North Pole and bring the magnetic landing clamps online.”

They were now committed to penetrating Kovarn space. There would be no turning back once past the eighth planet. If discovered, they’d have to run and try to fight their way back to freedom. A single shuttle, however, stood little chance of getting away unscathed amid the Ya’wenn’s known defenses. Their best hope would be angling for Klingon space and trying to turn the pursuit into a distance race.

All of these thoughts resounded in the Sanchez crew’s minds as the shuttle landed solidly upon the uneven surface of the asteroid. Now, they had a long wait while they hitched a ride in…





CH. 2





Sector Commander’s Log, Stardate: 9713.2
Commodore Ford recording

Things are proceeding smoothly in the effort to get Endeavour ready for launch. Nearly all her original crew and some of her new hands have already moved their belongings back aboard. It’s beginning to feel like home again.

Commander Thomas and the Tenseiga are continuing to scour the Tempest storm with high-powered sensor pulses to draw attention from my recon mission. He’s wisely lessened the pressure in the last day to make it seem as though his crew is tiring of the ordeal. Whatever second thoughts I might have had about Sharp assigning Thomas a command so soon after the Shiloah incident have proven unfounded. He’s a gifted captain, and he should have had this opportunity years ago.

I continue to settle in with the pressures and nuances of my new command status. There is a lot more politics involved in base command, but I think I may soon learn the trick to it. Captain Conally has proven instrumental in helping me attune to this way of life, but I can’t wait to get back out there…back out in space…





“Can I get you something from the synthesizer, Commodore?” Asked the new face that had brought Ford his breakfast. Ford looked up at him and paused before answering, studying the crewer’s face.

“I take coffee in the mornings.” The flag officer responded after his pause drew an odd look from the enlisted man. “Black. You new to Endeavour, son?”

The young, Latino-looking Crewman First Class looked back from the shiny, new synthesizer that had recently been installed in the commodore’s ready room. Ford typically did his morning data sifting and briefings aboard his ship. Today was no different. Ford looked the new kid right in the eye as he tapped in the coffee command.

“Yes, sir. CFC Peterson. Newly posted to this sector. It’s the second half of my first tour. Your senior yeoman has the day off.”

“I know.”

Chevis nodded, slowly looking back to the black surface of his old desktop. His mind was a-whirl this morning as he thought things over. The crewman gently set the cup of java down for the commodore.

“Will there be anything else, sir?”

“Yeah,” Ford said, suddenly deciding. He stood up with a groan. His back popped twice as he straightened. His jacket, thrown over the back of his leather chair, fell into the seat. “You can help me with this—“

The kid choked off a cry of alarm as Ford’s right fist slammed viscously into his solar plexus. The enlisted sobbed out, trying to drag in hot, ragged breaths of air as he sagged to the floor. Ford stepped over him, picking up the coffee he’d been given. The youth’s face was beat red.

Ford eyed him with amused disdain and subtle anger.

“Oh get up, you pansy. I didn’t even hit you full on.” Ford knelt near to the kid. The crewer was still trying to reclaim his breath. He was looking back plaintively in shock and bewilderment. Ford smiled at him. “When you get your wind back, you can go tell Travers to never…and I mean NEVER, have one of his men impersonate Starfleet personnel again. Are we crystal, fun-boy?”

“How’d you—“ The kid gagged. “How’d you know?”

“C’mon, now. You don’t think my galley chief doesn’t tell every new yeoman and steward aboard that I’m to be called ‘Skipper’, not by rank. And he wouldn’t send you up here without knowing that I hate black coffee. I drink so much cream and sugar with my Joe it’d keep an elephant buzzin’ for a year. Those notes would have been waiting on your morning roster if you’d actually been the man assigned to bring me chow. Riker’s a meticulous bastard.” The commodore flicked his middle finger, snapping it against the boy’s forehead. “And you didn’t do your homework.”

The kid could only nod back. Ford slid his right hand beneath the young man’s left shoulder and began to unceremoniously haul him up from the blue carpet. The kid was still wheezing.

Ford patted him on the shoulder, looking strangely parental as he looked down at the boy.

“You okay.”

“—Yeah…”

“Getting your wind back?”

“Uh—huh…”

Ford sloshed his coffee onto the kid’s chest and shot his knee into his groin.

The boy hit the deck with a thud. Ford looked down, feigning shock.

“Oh, my… Look at what I did. Sorry ‘bout that, young’n’. Lemme help you back up.”

A staying hand shot out to ward any further ‘help’ away as the boy scooted toward the exit.

“No thanks, Commodore…Skipper. I’ll manage on my own this time.”

Ford gave him a big, dramatic nod, still grinning with malice.

“Okay. You just remember to get out of that uniform, and never let me see you again. Understood?” Ford watched the man use the silver painted bulkhead to prop himself back into an upright position. He remained motionless for a moment, making Ford wonder if he was going to try something really stupid. But all the boy did was bend over, coughing, to cradle his wounded testicles. He wasn’t even thinking about the burning hot coffee on his jumpsuit front anymore…

With a final nod to the commodore, the Section 31 agent vacated the ready room and quickly strode for the nearest lift that would take him off this ship. Ford chuckled darkly. He could have been much nicer to the kid. He was just a greenhorn in the spy trade after all. But no future target of clandestine operations would cut him any slack. He may as well learn the hard way. Ford was rather glad, though, that his hunch had been right. He had checked on the name of the person who had been slated to bring him his breakfast. Peterson hadn’t been listed. However, a legitimate, last minute change down in the galley could have earned a real Starfleet crewman a really bad day.

Now that he’d rankled Agent Daniel Travers, Ford felt he could begin his day with renewed zeal.
***





Commander Davenport pulled at the sweat soaked collar of his white tunic. He’d had just nearly as much of this oppressive heat as he could stand. Both Bronstien and Smith had shed their shirts. Nurse Tyler had replaced her brazier and shed her olive sweater as well. Any other time, such a sight might have distracted the executive officer. Such was not the case. He was far too busy watching the movements of the Ya’wenn starships flitting around this area of space.

The Sanchez’s trip through enemy defenses, via his borrowed asteroid, had taken the Starfleet crew through the very thick of Over Warden Jarn’s system patrol network. The sheer number of escort craft operating within the confines of this planetary group was staggering. Far more ships had been sighted already than Endeavour had sighted during her previous visit.

“My God…” Smith was sighing, just audible over the sound of the shuttle’s systems. He also could see the ships on his comm screens. Each Ya’wenn vessel was running open navigational transponders, making them easily seen. Thanks to these transponder codes, Smith was having an easier time identifying individual ships than Ron himself was. Amid so many enemy ships, each intent on discovering intruders, the Sanchez could not risk any active scanner pulses. Davenport could barely discern any differences between the crossing ships from the energy patterns they gave off. This seemed to indicate a very complex system of mass production and assembly.

“How many ships, so far?” Ron asked Smith.

Noah rubbed at the sweat in his eyes and looked his CO’s way.

“Forty-seven escort vessels and three bombardment cruisers. That’s seventeen more craft than we projected.” The communications specialist replied. He was keeping a dedicated list of the different transponder codes on a separate screen on his console.

“And we ain’t seen nothin’ yet...” Came from Bronstien. The helmsman had been snoozing in the pilot’s chair for the last seven hours since their asteroid had left orbit of Kovarn VIII. And he was right. They were barely within the limits of the system core, hardly scratching the surface of a huge solar body. They’d already seen this many vessels. How many more were there?

“We’re passing through the main picket line.” Davenport offered them. “In about an hour, our rock is going to move away from the main body of the patrol craft. We’ll risk some air conditioning then.”

“Thank God.” Muttered Nurse Tyler. It was as close as she’d come to a complaint during the entirety of this trip. Ron glanced her way with a small smile, trying not to eye the soaked blue bra she wore. She was a well-endowed woman.

“The impulse baffles on this shuttle should hide our sublight signature from anything outside two million kilometers. That’ll allow us to leave this asteroid behind within about twelve hours. Then we can proceed with the rest of our mission.”

Tyler offered back a half-hearted smile of her own to the XO. She seemed totally unconscious of her lack of clothing. Perhaps her medical background made her less prudish. “Now I can see why Commodore Ford told me this was a volunteer mission only. If the heat and smell doesn’t get me, the Ya’wenn rebels will.”

“That’s about the scope of it,” Johnathan called back from the helm, “Fifty of them against one of us…hardly seems fair.”

This brought a collective chuckle from the shuttle crew. John could be counted on for a little mirth in the worst situations. It also bespoke of his strength and resolve given the new handicap he himself was suffering of. The loss of his legs had driven him beyond depression in the last few weeks. Commodore Ford had decided to give the pilot a helpful shove toward returning to duty, devising this mission to gather intelligence on the aggressive Ya’wenn rebels. Johnathan hadn’t mentioned his injury once in the entirety of this deployment.

Sometimes, duty was its own form of therapy.
***
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline kadh2000

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2007, 11:55:16 pm »
you know, I would have liked to have seen some poor new kid in Starfleet have a really bad day.  I can sort of relate to the experience of the poor sobs in the Sanchez. 
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2007, 01:44:02 am »
I'm with Kadh when it comes to seeing a new kid having a bad day. The black coffee even tipped me off as something was wrong, although I thought it was just Ford not being himself, I mean, why else would he assault some poor nub and order coffee without the sh*t he normally puts in it? Still glad though that it went the way it did. I think Ford needed to hurt someone after all he's been through. Not very Starfleet of him, but still.

Reading about the Sanchez reminds me of driving through some local mountains in my old car Vicki in 100*F+ weather, having the heater cranked on full blast to keep from overheating, and knowing that having the AC on wouldn't be an option until the down hill side.

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Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2007, 12:23:36 pm »
Quote from: Governor Ronjar
Among everyone aboard, she probably had the most right to complain, having the least reason to be here in the first place…

I don't think so. For a minor character, you are giving her a lot of airtime. Makes me wonder what you have in store for her. Maybe not now, maybe not any other time soon, but i think you have plans for her.
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2007, 11:51:14 pm »


I don't think so. For a minor character, you are giving her a lot of airtime. Makes me wonder what you have in store for her. Maybe not now, maybe not any other time soon, but i think you have plans for her.

Indeed.


I decided to use this story as a spring-board to 'introduce' Tyler. Though she's been in Endeavour before. She was the nurse Mister Thomas belted when he was under duress from disease in the story 'Tribulation'. I like to reuse secondaries. I believe La'ra in particular liked Tyler even though you barely got to see her.

Thanks all for the prompt replies. I'm in hog-heaven here!

And to the Kadh, a special thanks! When you bother to reply, I know I've done something to catch your attention. This makes me happy.

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2007, 01:42:19 pm »
reusing secondaries makes all our lives easier. Gives us readers less people to memorize, and gives us stability (continuum?). And less people for you to write (and make into multidimensional characters).
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2007, 07:16:15 pm »
I always liked characters like Mr. Kyle [TOS] ans Sonya Gomez [TNG], and was always aggravated when you suddenly never saw them again [more so with TNG+series...]. Enterprise had its excuse...their reoccuring secondary died in RL... Luckilly, all my actors have remained alive and are still filming Star Trek Endeavour... :)


And now...some more...






CH. 3





Commodore Ford had been expecting Travers’ visit far earlier. The flag officer sat alone in the quiet confines of his starbase office on level two, perusing mission and patrol updates from his fleet. A pitcher of tea sat beside him on the desktop, and empty glass at his elbow. When the doors parted to Ford’s right, the commodore lifted his glass and leaned back, half expecting it to be someone else. He’d almost given up on seeing the agent today.

Travers entered slowly, the balding human looking the flag commander over with care. Like the day they’d met, he was wearing drag civilian garb with no ornament. He was silent, definitely agitated. At last, he cracked a slight smirk and eased into one of the small black office chairs across the desk from Chevy. “I wanted to make sure it was safe to sit down.” The older man began. “I wouldn’t want to be your next assault victim.”

“It was hardly an assault.”

“You slugged my man in the gut, threw boiling hot coffee on him and kicked him in the balls. What was it then?”

“An attention getter.”

Travers pursed his lips and laced his fingers before him.

“Okay, then. You have my attention.”

The flag officer went through the slow show of refilling his drink.

“If you have any more 31s parading around in Fleet uniforms, get them out of ‘em. I’ll turn the whole lot of you over to Security if I catch wind of another agent impersonating a Starfleet crewman or officer.” Ford told him flatly, taking a smooth drink of ice tea.

“You know that will severely curtail my ability to garner some information.”

“Information that you can request through me. This is gonna be a two-way street, Dan. You don’t circumvent me.” Ford held the other’s gaze steadily. He had to imprint upon this man exactly how forcefully he would play with Section 31. Otherwise, the independent security organization would walk all over him. The commodore knew full well that he wasn’t going to be able to keep Travers from slipping his men into Starfleet’s organization. He would curtail it as much as possible, though.

“Alright…” Travers replied with a drawn out sigh. “We’ll do this your way. I’ll keep my boys and girls out of your uniforms. So long as the information I request isn’t altered before it reaches me.”

Ford took another, slow drink as though he were considering his options. He wanted to play from the upper hand as much as he could get away with. “That’s fine. How have you come along in setting up your operations thus far?”

“We’ve set up primary operations through a dummy mining and prospecting consortium. We have three freighters and a few shuttles we’ll deploy from here. And before you ask, we’re paying for fuel through legitimate resources. I’m not going to short change your base.”

“The prospecting cover will give you leave to come and go from this station without raising questions.” Ford complimented. He’d seen something similar used in the past.

“It’s tried and true. Of all the business covers we’ve had that fell through or been uncovered, the mining consortium has never been disturbed. In fact, it’s now a legitimate business. It brings in resources and adds to our clout.”

“Nice. And how long till you get a line on your Kovarn ops?”

“We expect our first operations to commence within the week.”

Ford waited expectantly, then bobbled his eyebrows.

“Any details, or is that all I get?”

“Investigation has revealed that the Axanar once had a lucrative trade agreement with the Ya’wenn before joining the Federation. We have several Axanari agents. We’re going to pose as a Axanari firm hoping to trade with the Ya’wenn capitol. Given their war against the rebels, we’re hoping they’ll be champing at the bit to bring in the stuff they need to fight their battle…build more ships. That’ll give us leave to offer everything from contractors to advisors as we infiltrate their government.”

Ford stared back, darkly. “That covers the good side of the Ya’wenn, Travers. I was thinking more along the lines of infiltrating Kovarn.”

The agent simply nodded back.

“Our Kovarn plan is far simpler. We’re going to use our Nausican operatives and pose as arms dealers.”

“Arms dealers…” Ford didn’t like the idea of the enemy acquiring more ordnance than they already possessed. “Selling what?”

“Romulan plasma torpedoes. The old style type, caseless, magnetically guided. And…sabotaged. The magnetic guidance systems won’t lock in on Starfleet warp fields. Our ships will be perfectly safe.”

Ford’s teeth ground.

“That won’t help the legit Ya’wenn any. With plasma torpedoes in their armaments, Jarn’s forces will tear the government forces a new asshole.”

“Not quite. Our Axanari agents, once informed of Jarn’s new weaponry, will give the Ya’wenn military a new method of jamming those old style torpedoes.”

“Which is why you’re selling Jarn the really old torps… I get it. Costly, but I get it.”

“It’s a deadly game we play, Commodore. Or should I call you Skipper too?”

“You can call me Commodore. Only my crew calls me Skipper.” Chevis finished off his glass and set to refilling it. He then also poured a glass for his guest. Travers took it with a wary glance back. “How ‘bout your whole Kla’davin angle?”

“That operation is still under development.” Travers replied. “We have several options and haven’t decided on any of them yet.” Travers looked a bit uncomfortable as he relayed all of this. He was a man of the spy trade, and within the last six minutes of conversation he’d given away more to one man than he had ever divulged to anyone. It was likely beginning to take a toll on his psyche.

“My turn.” Chevy said in return. “The Sanchez will have reached Kovarn by now. The Tenseiga has left discrete comm probes to scan for distress signals. We’ve gotten nothing. I consider that a good sign.”

“The Tempest puts out a lot of interference. You sure you’d pick it up?”

“The Sanchez has an uprated comm suite. Smith would find a way to let us know if they run into trouble.” Chevis shrugged, feigning more confidence and assuredness than he could possibly feel about the issue. “They’re fine. I’ll give them about three days before I start getting concerned.”

Travers took a final swig of his tea and stood up from his chair. The glass set down on the desk with a clunk as the 31 agent prepared to take his leave. “I have some pressing matters to attend to and a man with first degree burns on his chest and stomach. Keep me upraised about your recon mission.”

“Certainly.”

Chevy watched the older man depart. He wasn’t comfortable working with Section 31 again after all these years. But the trade off was too tempting to ignore. 31 would be operating around here whether he allowed them to and worked with them or not. Since they would be, he may as well reap the benefits of their working in his sector.
***





“Contact approaching!” Lieutenant Bronstien shouted out for the third time in four hours. He was already shutting down RCS systems and navigational relays, hands flying about the cockpit like dynamos. “Deflector contact, three hundred thousand kilometers, closing fast!”

Ron went about killing his own power systems and securing his more powerful passive sensors. The rebel Ya’wenn had thrown an ingenious and devious measure into their patrol patterns. Seemingly random vessels would kill their transponders and make a mad dash through the interior of the system at high impulse power. Their active and passive arrays were fired to full capacity, scouring space for any interlopers. Jarn’s paranoia was clearly peeked after Tenseiga’s incursion several weeks back.

“How close will she come?” Ron asked. His sensors, operating on low power now, hadn’t picked the ship up yet. He’d been more intent on the ship construction yards close to the system star prior to the contact.

“Ten thousand meters!” John shouted back.

Ron looked down at the screen depicting the helm’s contact in relation to their shuttle. Aft of Davenport’s console, Tyler was shifting uncomfortably in her seat and strapping herself down. Smith was also strapping in. Ron eyed the distance and bearing to the contact. “John-Boy, thirty degree evasive turn to port! Ten degrees negative pitch!”

Bronstien nodded his ascent.

“Hang on! Inertial compensation is only at ten percent!”

The shuttle pitched into a steep turn and dive away from the onrushing rebel ship. Each officer aboard clinged to their console or chair straps against the eight-g stress of the maneuver. The craft’s structure groaned and clicked under the abuse. A subtle roar overtook the Sanchez and a large, dark shape shot past the main view port. It had been a near miss so far as space encounters went.

“She passed by…” John called back after a few tense moments.

Ron reactivated his main passive array and watched as the computers began to once again unravel the spaceborne emissions into presentable data. “She’s maintaining her base course…” The XO told them with a tentative voice. “She didn’t see us.”

“At ten klicks, they could have seen us out a window.” Nurse Tyler complained. The fright of the near encounter had set her unclad torso to a rosy color.

“Maybe,” Came another comment in answer from the helm. “For the tenth of a second we would have been visible at that speed. They were hauling balls.”

“You all right over there, Jennifer?” Davenport asked the nurse. Tyler glanced back. She was flushed and rattled in appearance. Her small hands clung to her straps like they were her only lifeline to reality.

“I feel blasted useless on this ship, Commander.” She told him. “Everybody has a console or some control over the situation but me. I’m only here incase things really turn bad.”

Ron could sympathize with her about her feelings of helplessness. He could remember similar instances from his junior officer days. Sitting there at a station unnecessary to the operation at hand, hoping everyone else was on the ball, making no mistakes. It was the most nerve-racking experience he’d ever endured. And he had no solution for her torment.

“I could use some help cataloguing these Ya’wenn transponder contacts,” Smith offered, waving a hand at the second seat accompanying his station. Tyler looked back to Ronald for permission. She was antsy and ready to do something, anything. Smith’s offer was probably the best cure for her anxiety. He gave her the nod and she quickly unbuckled and slid into the empty comm seat.

“Contact fading.” Came from the helm again.

“Resume previous course.” Ronald ordered next. “Keep a close watch out for the next fastball.”

“Aye, sir.”
***

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2007, 10:35:04 pm »
Yeah.  Gomez was great eye candy for the ten seconds she was on TNG.  Never did get why TNG would give someone a name, a speaking part in multiple shows, then after that you'd never see them again.

The story:  Enjoying it very much so far, especially the subtle message the Commodore sent to 31.  Like the growing discomfort in the shuttle.  Like the occasional reminders that Tyler, for much of what's been written thus far, is sweaty and in her underwear.  Etc. Etc.  Anxious to see how the recon mission turns out.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2007, 11:03:32 pm »
I'm really liking how this pot o' poo known as the Ya'Weenies is getting (or will soon be getting) stirred. I look forward to being wrong about this, but my gut feeling here is that either a.) There is one final showdown between Ford and Jarn, eliminating this thorn from Ford's side, and 31 goes off about its own buisness, but not fully leaving Ford alone, b.) there is one final showdown between 31 and Ford, eliminating this thorn from Ford's side, and the Ya'Weenies go off about their own buisness of self annihilation, or c.) 31 takes out Jarn's side, and delivers both Jarn and a Klingon mind sifter and other instruments of torture to Ford, for obvious reasons.

In any event, there's bound to be some good action scenes and lots-o'-death-and-destruction.

Really like the 'maturity' of the men stuck in with a scantily clad female. I kind of expected a scene with the AC on and one of the guys noticing how cold it was getting... This shows the professionalism of these Starfleet officers (not the AC part). Also glad to see that she now has a semi-important role to play durring this cat-n-mouse game.

Enjoying where this is going. Really, I do.

And I hated seeing the "minor" 'toons come and go in Trek, but just calked it up to "crew rotations". Did, however, enjpy when those minor 'toons became not-so-minor-but-not-major 'toons, like Nurse Ogawa.

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2007, 11:27:13 pm »

Really like the 'maturity' of the men stuck in with a scantily clad female.


Yeah, I shoulda mentioned that.  Reminds me of talking to the drink girls at work.  They're in these tiny little outfits...straps and cleavage and very short shorts.  Always takes effort to talk to them and not stare, even when you've become buddies.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2007, 01:24:35 pm »
..."We are but men."...

Still, I wouldn't like being in that shuttle. Massively short on offense and defense compared with the competition, being fastballed, warm, cramped and with a hot girl only clad in a skimpy outfit... I'd still have only boobies on mind!
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2007, 10:19:00 pm »
The person I based Commander Davenport upon is a 'look once, enjoy, but now on to business' sort of person. Lieutenant Smith on the other hand...

...well, it's a good thing I kept Mister Smith busy...

--thu guv!
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2007, 11:02:47 pm »
BTW... for them that care...

My scale on this drawing is a bit off, but hopefully it will help the viewer visualize...

Sanchez
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

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Offline Commander Maxillius

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2007, 12:01:56 am »
 :o  ohhh wow, someone model that!!!
I was never here, you were never here, this conversation never took place, and you most certainly did not see me.

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2007, 09:58:59 pm »







CH. 4





“Good God… What the hell is that?”

The ship sitting in the centerline of the bubble canopy of the Sanchez’s cockpit was a long, wide monstrosity of metal and gunnery. Jarn was building a new battleship to add to his arsenal. Particle cannon and open torpedo launchers studded the thing’s exterior in a frightening array of firepower. Heavy emplacements of armor and long stretches of deflector shield grid accented the craft’s hull. She was a flat built design with little profile compared to her size.

“How long till that thing’s finished?” Lieutenant Smith breathed the question with marked foreboding. Even Jennifer Tyler’s eyes were open in shock. None of them wanted to ever engage that monstrosity.

Ron angled several of his visual sensors upon the ship and its construction berth. A myriad of small builder-craft swarmed the ship like a beehive and EVA suited workers welded paneling to the hull. He scoured the surface of the battle-wagon with the spectral computers, mapping the surface of its construction. What it told him was not encouraging.

“She’ll be launched in less than a week. They’re already fueling her.”

“I’m counting twenty magnetron cannon on its dorsal casing alone.” Bronstien commented, craning his head to look at the monstrosity sitting over fifty kilometers away. Even at such a distance, one could make out details of its hull with the naked eye. It was huge. Jarn was playing for keeps. “At least ten photon launchers.”

“What’s that open area on her fantail?” Tyler asked, standing up from the small chair she’d occupied beside the comm officer to point out the fore port.

Ronald angled his visual array lower to overlook that area. The armor casemate was indeed open to space there. What it meant was not apparent from their current vantage. “I can’t tell. We’ll have to change our vantage point to get a better look… But I think that’s its engine section.”

“That would put the engine room right between the warp nacelles.” Bronstien agreed. “The only position that’ll give us a better view of that area of the ship would put us right in the thick of all that construction traffic. We’re taking a hellova risk sitting here for as long as we have been!”

Sanchez was just over fifty kilometers from the main hub of the Ya’wenn’s construction yard. Small vessels and shuttle were passing to and from in a complex pattern before them. It was only a miracle that someone hadn’t looked their way and spotted them in the five minutes they’d been parked here. Thus far, no patrol ships had ventured this close to the system’s star. Should one draw near, this whole party would be over in a heartbeat.

That open section of hull presented Davenport with a very tempting reason to get even closer to that ship. A former engineer, Ron wanted to get a good look at the interior of that craft. Such a disclosure of the internal workings could give the Fleet a major insight into the battleship’s weaknesses and drawbacks.

“Helm… Ninety degrees negative pitch. Make your speed two hundred meters per second.”

“We’re going in there?” Tyler exclaimed, looking back in near shock. She was still in control of herself, but Ron had no idea how much strain she could take. He waved her back to her original seat even as the view out the canopy began to whirl with Bronstien’s maneuvers. Jennifer sat down once again and strapped into the small chair beside Smith.

Ron knew he and his crew were taking a risk. A risk that could botch this entire mission. But he also had a hunch that this would be worth the peril. He set the visual scanners to auto-record and watched as the Sanchez dropped in space to a level parallel with the alien war machine. The open section was coming slowly into clear view, blocked at intervals by the girders and scaffolding of the dock the ship resided in. Davenport waited anxiously for the expected sight.

What he saw made him swallow. The cavernous open bay was indeed the ship’s engineering section. He was looking directly into the main engine room and its exposed warp reactor. The Sanchez passed by the construction yard, now moving further away from the enemy.

“Its guts are staring right out into space…” Smith was close to exclaiming. The blonde-headed lieutenant was beside himself at what he’d seen. The Ya’wenn, in installing equipment in the quickest and easiest way available, had left their largest warship’s bowels open to view. A single torpedo could wreck that ship with a minimum of effort.

The risk, however, would be great.

“You all thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” Asked Johnathan.

Tyler looked about, from officer to officer, confused.

“What?”

“We could trash that thing!” Smith explained, “Maybe even destroy it. One good torpedo!”

Ron shot a warning glance over to the kid.

“We’re not carrying torpedoes, Lieutenant. We’re packing four phaser cannon. That’s it.”

“A concentrated phaser strike would do the same thing.” Johnathan pointed out, seconding his friend’s opinion. Davenport had to agree with the wish to take that monster out. But the odds of their carrying out a successful attack on that ship and making it back home against all those patrol ships were very slim. Ron had to resist.
“Our orders are to return to base with intel on Jarn’s capacities. We just got a real good look at it.” The XO began to lay out to them, “So we’re gonna get clear of these yards and start workin’ our way outta here.”

An alarm sounded on the commander’s board. His eyes shot down to the panel.

“We were just sighted on active scan!” He called out. “We have an escort ship headed our way!”

Bronstien began to flip switches and toggles on his primary systems. Their previous conversation was now a moot subject. They had gotten too close and been detected. Ron kept his eyes glued to his board as he watched the Ya’wenn patrol craft begin a fast approach. “I don’t think she has a good visual on us. Noah, begin active jamming, full ECM! John-Boy, all ahead flank! Get us out of here!”

The Sanchez’s engines ramped up, throwing full power into an all out run straight ahead. The over-sized shuttle accelerated swiftly, leaving the collected dockyards behind as her thrusters flared brightly. Ron kept his eyes glued on the contact that was now aft of them. The escort was adjusting its flight path to avoid the clutter of unmoving space docks and zero in on them.

“That escort is trying to signal for backup!” Smith reported. “I think I have ‘em blocked, but I’m not sure!”

“Either way, it won’t take long for his buddies to figure out what’s going on.” Another alarm sounded on the sensor/ops panel. Ron knew that sound by heart. “She’s firing! Torpedo incoming from long range!”

“Beginning evasive!”

From a distance of two million kilometers, the weapon took a long eleven seconds to clear the distance and close with the racing shuttle. Bronstien dipped the portside of the craft and then reversed his maneuver, turning hard right. Sanchez ducked out of the way of the photonic missile, which slashed by harmlessly and detonated ahead of them.

“ECM has their targeting package fooled.” Davenport told them. “Power levels are coming up to operational levels. I’m raising shields!”

The deflector generators beyond the bulkheads port and starboard moaned as power was applied to them and the lighting dimmed slightly under the sudden pull. Most of the little ship’s power sources were being directed to the sublight drive and inertial dampeners. Another ordnance alarm sounded on Ron’s board.

“More incoming. Three photons launched, bearing 181 mark 020!”

“I see ‘em!”

“So much for sneaking in and out!” Tyler commented as the pilot put the shuttle through another series of defensive twists to befuddle the weapons’ targeting systems.
Two explosions sent the craft spinning on its side. A third nearly halted it in its tracks. The weapons were being set for proximity detonation. The commander’s eyes found the deflector controls. “Shields are down to eighty percent! We’re not gonna be able to take more than one direct hit!”

“I’m tryin’ up here!” Bronstien shot back.

“We have three more transponders closing from starboard!” Smith shouted. “Closing fast!”

Ronald scanned the three incoming ships. The patrol ships had their shields and weapons online, ready for action. “Bring us to heading 317 mark 185. Make for the outer system limits and prepare for warp speed!”

“We’re heading for Klingon space?” Bronstien shouted back.

“Our escort ships patrol a stretch of territory between us and the Empire. That’s still Federation territory!”

“Barely!”

“Just do it, helm!”

“Did I say I wasn’t?”

The shuttle banked away from the new contacts and poured on the coal to make good its escape. The dangers of accelerating to warp in a starsystem as crowded as Kovarn in a ship so small and fragile were great. Bronstien was a superb pilot, but Ronald doubted even he could manage them out without suffering a collision. Any collision would put them dead in the water.

Another blast of antimatter shook the shuttle from abaft. Sparks emitted from the overhead controls as a series of regulators gave out. This was a tough shuttle, but it remained a shuttle. It was not a combat vessel. Too many more hits would severely impair its capacity to escape.

“What’s our speed?” Ron shouted.

“Point eight and climbing!”

“Keep it up, Lieutenant!”

“Three more transponders!” Tyler sounded beside Smith. “They’re surrounding us!”

“Confirmed!” Smith added. “Distance eight million and closing at warp speed!”

“We’re gonna have to risk warp, Cap’n!” Said the pilot.

Ron could see little alternative. He looked the long-range sensor screens over. Not only did they have seven escort vessels in relatively close proximity, there were another ten within easy lunging distance of them. Warp speed was about their only alternative now.

“Warp speed, Lieutenant!”

“Warp, aye!”

The Sanchez hurled itself ahead, putting power to its warp coils in a desperate attempt to leave its pursuers behind. Proximity sirens began to wail immediately upon acceleration as the computer detected close-by stellar debris. Bronstien juked and swung their course between every piece of flotsam. The torrential forces caused by his maneuvers hurled the shuttle crew about within their harnesses. The small ship bucked from the impact of a small asteroid against its port screens.

“Warp four!” Davenport called out to them. “Warp five! Ya’wenn still pursuing at…warp five! Warp five point five! Our speed now warp six! Warp six point eight! Warp seven!”

“We have more than twenty transponder tags coming in from aft, Commander!” Smith shouted out.

Ron watched the icons of the chasing Kovarn ships as they drew up into flanking positions to the shuttle’s rear. He studied the distance between his vessel and the enemy intently, pensively. Finally, the Ya’wenn ships began to fall behind. “We’re leaving ‘em behind, folks! We’re at warp seven point five. Now exiting Kovarn system.”
A sharp pop sounded from behind the machinery bulkhead at the aft end of the berthing compartment. Smith and Davenport looked back with apprehension. Another crackle began to sound out from the engine core space. Smoke began to spew from several cooling vents near the deck.

“We’ve got damage.”
***
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2007, 11:13:46 pm »
Ya' know, I think, if I were Davenport, Smith, and Bronstein, I'd never set foot in a shuttle again.  There was that whole 'plasma storm' incident, and now they're being chased by the entire Ya'wenn navy. 

Exciting chapter.  Loved the temptation to lob a torpedo into the battleship.  Very...us.

Also, very fond of this exchange...

Quote
“Just do it, helm!”

“Did I say I wasn’t?”

Never, on most shows, does the guy being told 'just do it' remind anyone that he already is, damnit. ;D
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2007, 01:46:06 pm »
Ya' know, I think, if I were Davenport, Smith, and Bronstein, I'd never set foot in a shuttle again.  There was that whole 'plasma storm' incident, and now they're being chased by the entire Ya'wenn navy. 

Exciting chapter.  Loved the temptation to lob a torpedo into the battleship.  Very...us.

Also, very fond of this exchange...

Quote
“Just do it, helm!”

“Did I say I wasn’t?”


Never, on most shows, does the guy being told 'just do it' remind anyone that he already is, damnit. ;D


It's the small things that make a good story great.

BTW guv, the scene reminds me of Valliant, but with a smarter (though I doubted it for a while) crew...
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2007, 08:59:27 pm »

CH. 5





“Engineering to all decks,” Called out the stern male voice of Endeavour’s engineering computer, via the intercom. “Warp power test in two minutes. Mark.”

Commodore Ford looked up from the data PADD in his hand to glance at the new warp core dominating the center of the main engine room. The engine core had been delivered from Antares Fleet Yards more than a week prior, and installed not long after. All of its interlinking systems had been attached and installed, and now was the time to fire it up. Endeavour would soon have her lifeblood pumping through her veins once again.

This drive core was of the new Type 15B design. Supposedly it boasted a twelve percent increase in EPS production. This meant more power and possibly, higher speeds. Only practice would tell how good the reactor would really be, however. It would be the first of this design tested in real operations. The only other warp reactor of this design was currently being installed aboard the brand new USS Enterprise back at San Francisco Yards. Endeavour would be the first operational vessel with this kind of reactor, and this, among many other things, made the commodore a proud man.

Chief Engineer Xia Tolin made her way from the aft section of the engine compartment to stand near to the CO. The Lieutenant Commander was anxious to hear any word about her man aboard the shuttle Sanchez. Ford, sadly, still had nothing to give her. There had been no word, good or bad, since the shuttle entered the Tempest four days prior.

Tolin stood with her hands clasped behind her slim back in demure fashion while Ford went over her department’s final overview of the reactor installation. The commodore was happy with what he’d read thus far. He looked down to the blue skinned Andorian woman, looking over the rims of his small spectacles. “Everything looks a-okay. Do you have any reservations about the engine design?”

“None, Skipper. It’ll do quite well.”

“Excellent.” He studied those crystal clear eyes. “You’re still worried about Ron.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t be. I believe he has the situation well in hand. If not, we’d have heard something by now.”

“Suppose he was unable to send a broadcast?”

“Ron would find a way.”

Tolin did not stress the issue further. She likely wondered how Chevis, one of Davenport’s best friends, could remain so calm, having sent that shuttle into harm’s way. The mission hadn’t exactly been endorsed by Command, either.

Ford was acting far more calm and centered than he truly felt over the matter. The mission wasn’t heavily classified, and if Command discovered it and also took offense over his ordering it, there could be hell to pay. But Chevis would be damned before he’d sit idly by and allow Jarn to build up who knew what kind of forces on his side of the Tempest without at least peeking into it. He’d been caught unprepared by the Over Warden once before. He’d not allow it a second time.

“We’ll hear from the Sanchez soon.” Ford said simply, then approached the master control consoles near the reactor shaft. He quietly perused the engine indicators while the count down continued and the engine gang went through their last minute preparations for reactor start up. Finally, the computer called out the thirty-second warning. Ford stepped back as Tolin took the controls.

“Injectors?”

“Primed, Chief.”

“Deuterium pre-heat?”

“Nominal temps.”

“Compression coils?”

“Ready.”

“Dilithium matrix?”

“Set.”

“Begin start sequence.”

“Firing injectors. Compression coils activated.”

With a single, hearty thrum of energy, the coils carrying matter and antimatter to the core pulsed. There came a steady vibration from the engine as fuel combined with dilithium and annihilated into energy. The growing sound of unused power systems charging up filled the deck and brought a renewed sense of life back to the ship.
Endeavour’s heart beat once again.

“Reactor indicators read nominal. Power output stable at station keeping level.” Tolin read from the main control station before her. Several hands set to clapping in adulation for the event. Ford felt quite moved himself. He hadn’t been present for the first time Endeavour’s core started, but this felt like a fresh new beginning for the girl. He grasped the guardrail that surrounded the core and patted its blue surface.

“Back in business.” He told the ship.

“Yes we are.” Tolin answered him, thinking he’d spoken to her. He offered her a kindly grin, removed his glasses, and left engineering to its boss.

“Good work, Engines.” He told her as he retreated through the open doors forward.
***





“We’re losing speed!” Bronstien cried out from the pilot’s console in the shuttle’s nose.

“Had to have been that chunk of meteor we hit!” Smith was saying as he unbuckled his restraints and headed aft. Davenport figured he should be the one trying to fix the ship given his years as an engineer, but he had no one else qualified to man the ops console if he did. Tyler certainly couldn’t do it.

Aft, Smith accessed the engine diagnostic panel and read over the flashing red indicators there. “We have a fracture forming in the portside plasma transfer coil!” He shouted back. “Retention fields are failing!”

“Reroute it through the secondary feed!” Ron told him, trying to shout over the vibration noise chopping through the hull as their flight pattern became unsteady.
“The control system ain’t responding!”

“We’re falling below warp four!” Came a new warning from Lieutenant Bronstien. “You better give me some options before we lose warp power!”

Ron checked the tactical map on his board. The Ya’wenn were still outside weapons range, but they wouldn’t stay there for long. They now had a full factor in speed advantage over the Starfleet shuttle. They were outside the Kovarn starsystem now, but no cover abounded out here for them to conceal themselves within. There was no back up. Even the IKS Pang was no longer near the area, having gone to Galt. Ron searched for options.

“Turn your course to starboard! Bearing 095 mark 027!”

Bronstien shot an incredulous eye back to the mission CO.

“That’ll take us deeper into Ya’wenn space!”

“And to the closest piece of that plasma storm, Lieutenant. Follow my orders!”

“Aye!”

The Sanchez banked into his turn. Now the enemy would close to within firing range much sooner. Davenport just hoped Smith’s ECM systems would buy them some extra cover till they reached the plasma fields. Then they could hide in the swirling mists of energy.

“I can’t reroute control!” Smith was shouting again. “The controls won’t answer!”

“Get back up here and man the ECM!” Ronald ordered him. “Keep those assholes from cutting us in half before we get to cover!”

The first of what would be dozens of ranging shots lashed out at the Sanchez. The first torpedo was a blinding miss, detonating far off the mark. The next was not so gracious. Smith’s head impacted with the face of his console as he tried to reclaim his seat. Despite the cranial trauma, he managed to belt himself back down and resume tweaking the counter measures jamming enemy scanners.

The shuttle bounced and jostled all the way toward its chosen escape route. Three escorts had closed to within energy weapon range and were taking turns in continually battering the small ship’s vicinity with magnetron fire. Highly charged microwave energy coursed and arched over the small craft's exterior as system after system fried and failed under the heated assault.

“Entering energy cloud!” John shouted.

With the added sensor clutter of the plasma storm’s outer corona, Bronstien was able to shake off most of the incoming fire even as the craft’s velocity continued to flag. The heavier, more concentrated washes of plasma beckoned before them. Inviting them to safety.

“We’re down to warp one point two!” Ron called out. Something was now burning in the aft compartment. He triggered the hatch mechanism to lock the smoke away from the crew. Another close-by shot pounded the ship…

…then they were clear.

“We’re hid in the first current of the field, Commander.” Johnathan reported. “I’m altering our course to back track the last ten thousand klicks before we head any deeper. That’ll throw off their interception.”

“Sounds good, Lieutenant.” The dwindling groan of the warp drive died out. The ship had just fallen to impulse power. Ron began killing switches before him. “Kill everything but shields, maneuvering systems and life support. They’ll have a hard time finding us in here.”

“ECM too?” Inquired Smith.

“That too, Lieutenant. They’ll have a better time pinning our location later on if we leave it up. We need to become a hole in the water.”

“Water?”

Davenport looked to Nurse Tyler in confusion. She looked back at him, sweat beading on her bosom as she looked back to him. Finally he laughed aloud.

“Just an old submarine saying, Nurse. Got it from a movie called ‘The Hunt for Red October’. Good Sean Connery flick. You should catch it some time.”

“Get us out of here, Commander, and it’ll be the first on my list.”
***
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #18 on: October 20, 2007, 10:10:34 pm »
I see the thrill of this place has yet to fade...

I shall finish this one off and come back when it has some replies.


CH. 6





“Well… the portside power coupling is destroyed.” Commander Davenport muttered with aggravation as he looked over the long list of damage control indicators glittering on the engineering panel. “And the controls are wrecked too.”

Smith looked back to the XO, looking a bit dumbfounded amid the smoke-stained confines of the aft compartment. “And the best way to get to those controls…”

“From the outside, Lieutenant.”

“Oh…” Smith looked back to the main panel, his heart sinking to his boots. “Well that sucks.”

“Yeah.” Ron looked down to the two access panels covering some of the inner workings that led into the ship’s systems. Neither access port would avail them any help. They led to the reactor controls and the EPS power grid, but offered nothing for repair of the plasma transfer coils or its control system.

They would either have to land on a planetary body or go EVA to effect repair.

Bronstien looked back from the cockpit where he remained busy in dodging the alien’s efforts to track them down. “Remind me to never climb into a shuttlecraft with you again, Commander. It never leads to anything good.”

“Yeah…” Murmured Smith. Ronald shot him a glare that made him back pedal. “Not that you’re back luck…or a jinx…or anything…”

Ron rolled his eyes and bent to the two access panels and began unlatching them. He figured they would offer him no more than what he figured, but he had to look none the less. He lay down on the deck and peered into the workings within. “Hand me a flashlight from the locker, Smith.”

“Aye.”

With a small light now in hand, Davenport was able to study the machinery therein. What he saw made him curse. “Well, no help there. There’s no way to remove enough crap from the way to get to the control module. Even if I could…I’d never be able to reach it from here.”

“Well, we’re fresh out of planets to land on.” Bronstien spoke up. “And all that plasma is gonna mean hell for anyone goin’ out in a suit.”

“Can we project the shields out far enough to protect an EVA op?” Smith inquired.

“Yeah…” Ron ventured. “For a while.”

The XO worked his jaw and stared at the faulty equipment in futile anger. If he was going to work on the plasma system, then he needed to make sure this shuttle was as far removed from the enemy as possible. The pursuing enemy was making it somewhat easier for them by projecting their transponders through the plasma. The Sanchez had a good idea of where his enemy was most of the time. It was possible the bastards didn’t realize that Starfleet could discern their ID codes. Or perhaps they didn’t care. The prospect of colliding with a friendly vessel might have worried them more than the idea of losing their quarry. Previous encounters with Jarn’s forces, however, led Davenport to believe that one or more ships likely pursued them without active transponders.

“Let’s get away from the Ya’wenn while we can still manage full shields. Then we’ll heave to and let me have a look outside.”

Bronstien and Smith both nodded, the later bending to replace the open access panels before resuming his station. Ron eased into his own chair and took the precautionary measure of belting in. Slipping away from pursuit might not stress John’s piloting abilities…but then, when pitted against the Ya’wenn, one ruled nothing out. This ride could still get bumpy.
***






   


Captain Heather Conally passed through the twin doors of Level Two’s Strategic Operations Chamber. She had been informed by the computer that the person she searched for resided in here. Apparently he had been here for quite some time. Most of the day, in fact.

Just as the computer had predicted, Commodore Ford was within, leaning over the large, round StratCom console. He was wearing his glasses, concentrating on the images depicted on the flat, white console display. He looked as though he hadn’t detected her entry, and remained motionless as whatever was occurring on the display went about its programmed action. Conally stepped up close and paused just beside the table, out of the flag officer’s sight. Ford’s right hand moved suddenly, tapping at the pause command key. The strategic program halted.

“Yes, Captain?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d heard me.”

Ford looked back to her over the rim of his slim, rectangular glasses lenses.

“Eyes are goin’, not the ears.” He grinned. “What do you need?”

“There was a Command update from Starbase 12 for you. The yeoman I sent down to your office returned with it and said you were not in. I waited…decided to bring it down to you myself.” The captain watched the dark emotion pass over the sector commander’s face. Her presence was obviously not a welcome thing at this point in time. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything…personal.”

A sly smirk kicked up at the corner of the commodore’s lip.

“No…nothing personal…well…not really.”

Ford stepped back and waved a hand to the glowing display before them. Conally stepped closer and took a good look at the ships represented. She recognized the ID codes for Endeavour, Comanche, Yorktown, Shran and Eldridge without trying. All ships of this sector’s fleet. It was, in fact, the task force Ford had led into the Tempest while on his ill-fated diplomatic mission. Nearly twenty Ya’wenn starships were arrayed against the Federation fleet, bearing to starboard, within the confines of a narrow passage through the plasma field.

This was a replay of the battle Ford had lost.

“Dining of ashes, aren’t we?” She commented as she looked at the deployment of the fleet before her. She noticed that the Starfleet indicators showed Ford’s ‘fleet’ to be at impulse power. “Something’s different here? You never dropped out of warp prior to engaging the main body. You powered through and engaged them at warp speed.”

“Yeah.” Ford tapped a pensive finger atop the control panel governing what they saw. “The loss…bothers me. I shouldn’t have taken such a beating. Shouldn’t have even been in the position in the first place, but I was so convinced that I could handle whatever Jarn threw at me that I blindly stepped into a trap I knew existed… So…ever since I’ve been home, I’ve been running through all the things I could have done. Either in my head or on this thing here.”

“You’re trying different scenarios.”

A nod. It seemed almost as though she’d caught him doing something that embarrassed him. Conally had never been in a combat situation such as his, and couldn’t say how she’d be handling the matter. But she didn’t see what he was doing as being abnormal. She’d probably be tearing the whole encounter apart every day till she was satisfied herself.

“Yeah. This one I’m dropping to sublight and forcing Jarn’s fleet to close with me. The bulk of my combat experience is in impulse encounters. Turning my ship into a giant starfighter seems…alien to me. I’m not Jim Kirk.”

“How’s it turning out?”

Ford pressed the key to allow the computer to resume. Jarn’s ships began to close on the Federation fleet and they themselves dropped to impulse. Ford’s fleet was too close to the perimeter of the surrounding storm for any strafing maneuver to be feasible. After a few moments, the ships began to trade long range fire.

“Jarn’s ships opened up at almost the same time you did.” Heather pointed out, leaning closer to red the range values. Ford nodded as he watched.

“The range difference between their particle weapons and ours isn’t so big. They’re using Starfleet photons, so they have the same overall tactical range. Their mag-cannon fire out to a hundred thousand kilometers.” Ford explained. Ya’wenn tech was not as advanced as Starfleet’s, but they were catching up quickly. “They don’t have precise targeting. In fact, I don’t think they can specifically target their torps at all.”

Conally pointed to the icon of the Endeavour as she pushed through the enemy formation, her smaller escorts in close support. “You’re winning!”

Ford didn’t look impressed.

“It’s about 50/50. Half the time I win. Half the time I get butchered. The outcome is sometimes better even when I don’t change the scenario. Computer takes blind luck into account, apparently.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have lost—“ Heather’s voice caught in her throat as she quickly looked up to the commodore. “That’s not how I wanted that to sound!”

Ford’s expression was softer than she’d expected, but there was pain in his brown eyes.

“I know. But I did. Can’t change that. The mission was botched as soon as the Premier died. And no matter what outcome I get in the main engagement, it’s a bloody affair every time.”

“The actual overall casualties were only ninety dead, six hundred injured. Comparatively—“

“It’s too many, no matter what figure you compare it to.” Ford said, halting her. The Fed fleet on the board before them was now back at warp, pursued closely by Jarn’s forces. The Ya’wenn terminated pursuit at the mouth of the exit path. Ford shrugged. “I really don’t think Jarn would have stopped…but, oh well. The simulation computer doesn’t have psyche profiles on crazy ex-con fleet commanders.”

“So, are you looking for the way that would have ended with the fewest casualties?”

“More or less.”

Heather looked up and studied the flag commander. He wasn’t just heart broken about going over this with her, but the memories of the event were obviously still raw. The deaths he believed he’d caused were ever present on his mind. “Have you found a solution that ends with none?”

“I could have ditched the mission before heading into the Tempest without my escort…” He replied with bitterness. “But I don’t need a computer to tell me that one. Actually,” He tapped another set of keys. “This scenario works rather well…”

The screen cleared and then resolved into a picture of Endeavour standing side by side with the Ya’wenn Premier’s vessel. It was the incident prior to the main engagement, where the battle originally began. Jarn’s first ships were slowly closing through the tight corridor of energized plasma, firing on the Premier’s vessel. Endeavour pulled close to the stricken Premier’s craft, beaming in survivors while holding off the enemy. Then, rather than boldly pushing through the enemy forces and leaving them to turn and track her, Endeavour tractored the devastated Premier ship into the enemy’s path. Endeavour turned away, rotating on her axis even at full impulse. A volley of torpedoes leapt out of her aft tubes, blowing the remainder of the damaged ship to bits while Endeavour completed her turn and ran full throttle back toward the Ya’wenn capitol. Jarn’s ships pushed through the burning debris to follow.

Ford paused the encounter.

“I’d actually considered this option. I thought it was too high risk, letting those ships chase me down with no real hope of being able to meet up with the task force along this course.”

“Ramses couldn’t have intercepted you when you left the Tempest?”

“The Ya’wenn home fleet posted ships to watch the force leave. I knew they would. I imagine my fleet would have been fired upon had they tried to reenter their territory.” Ford motioned back to the paused scenario. “But, whether I’d called them or not, the computer says that I’d have made it out with no more than a damaged nacelle if I’d just tucked tail and ran back the way I’d come. Though in one version…Endeavour rams Captain Rell’s cloaked ship and careens into the storm.”

Heather eyed Ford. He had put a great deal into this.

“So...is this therapy for you, or a learning experience?”

“Lil’ of both, I imagine.”

“Maybe you should put it behind you.” The station administrator found herself saying suddenly. She hadn’t even been thinking along such lines till she’d opened her mouth. Ford stared back at her without expression. No, she corrected herself… His expression was hard, in-check. But how mad had her question made him? She didn’t want to antagonize the person she’d be working so closely with while managing this sector.

At long length, he shrugged, and silently killed power to the strategic table. Then he looked back at her. He was nearly unreadable. “You’re probably right.”

Ford’s hand extended, palm up. He waited patiently, still looking at her amid the lowered lighting. Her mind raced to determine what he was asking for. Then she remembered the Command communiqué. She handed it over with an embarrassed grin. “Sorry, forgot about that.”
***
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2007, 10:11:37 pm »
CH. 6 [pt.2]




The belly of the shuttle Sanchez lit in shimmering blue energy as it sat quietly in space. The blue shaft of subspace energy separated into a solid, humanoid form and deposited Commander Davenport and his EVA suit just beneath the engine section of his damaged craft. Ron had to hold still and regain his senses against the sudden vertigo that assailed him. He was motionless in relation to the small ship, but in space, few things were really motionless. Plasma was jetting past his vessel, railing on its shields in a whirling wash of light, and he had the irresistible notion that Sanchez was racing backwards and sideways through the torrents around him.

Shaking his head, Ron attached the magnetic clamp in his hand to the curved bottom hull, securing his tether to his vessel lest he make a mistake. He tried not to make any wide, expansive motions as he maneuvered within the shield bubble generated by the deflectors. He’d adjusted the perimeter of the field to give himself more room to work, but he didn’t exactly have much to spare. And making the alterations had also weakened the deflection ability of the force field. He now had lees time to spend out in space against the radiation pounding at the ship and his suit.

“Remember, Commander,” Tyler’s voice was calling into his helmet comm. “You can only remain out there for seven minutes. Then you must come inside!”

“Yeah,” Ron’s own voice already sounded fatigued and hollow within the confines of his space helmet. “You don’t have to remind me.”

The XO began to clamber about, gaining his bearings and determining his exact position adjacent to the access panel he needed to operate. He found the hull plate, a rounded formation right between the underslung nacelles. Both warp power units were dead, their intercoolers dull and lifeless. He triggered the release mechanism and slid away while the hull section swung open. The maligned panel passed through the barrier of the deflector field, making the shields sizzle. He was surprised he could hear the sound while out here in space. In fact…he was hearing a lot of diffuse noise as he bobbed about out here.

Once the panel had cleared itself from his way, Ronald pushed himself closer and positioned his visor close to the devices he sought. He found the manual EPS switch-off valve. At least, he thought he’d found it…It did not look like its depiction in the onboard manual.

“Oh sh*t!”

“What!” Came Bronstien’s excited voice over the comm. “You need retrieval?”

“No! The f*cking valve is of a different design. It isn’t the cross-matched field coil that they usually put on a shuttle. I don’t know what the hell this is!”

“Any decals on the cover?” Came Smith’s voice.

Ronald turned on his side to look, careful that none of him touch the deflector field.

“Yeah…but it goes with the one that’s supposed to be here! Damn it! When we get back, I’m gonna beat the living hell out of the yard-monkey who installed this piece of sh*t without telling anyone!”

“Commander!” Came Tyler’s voice. “You have five minutes remaining!”

“Oh, shut up! Ron pulled himself close to the unfamiliar valve assembly and began to study how it took the plasma coils in and routed energy. “This isn’t even a manual valve! It’s…some kind of pneumatic system! There’s Denobulan writing on the damn thing!”

He began to look for the easily toggled switches common in Denobulan systems. Denobulans were not known for great physical strength and their stuff tended to be easy to operate. There were no toggles. No buttons. He eased back and took in the view of the whole apparatus.

There was a turnable face built into the machine. Like a shiny plate set into several shiny rings. He’d seen something similar on the design of the Genesis probe… How the hell did those things work?

“I found something…” He told his waiting crew.

Ron reached toward the surface of the inner plate and touched it. Nothing. He pushed down on it, but could not exert any pressure. He grabbed a hull member and tried again, levering against his grip on the strut. Nothing. He set the rubberized fingertips of his left glove on the plate and tried to turn it. Barely, he felt it give.

“What a f*cked up contraption!” Ron replanted his glove and tried to turn the plate. It sprang forth from the center of the valve with a pop that nearly propelled Ronald away from the shuttle. A shocking, tingling sensation lit in his backside as his rump encountered the shield barrier. He reeled himself back home via his tether. “Piece of sh*t!”

“You okay out there?” Smith was asking.

“No, I’m not okay!”

“You have three minutes, Commander!”

“Tyler, save it!”

Ron grabbed at the chrome looking knob that stood where the plate had formerly been. He gave the machine a twist, hoping it would switch the plasma flow. All it did was make the rings spring out much as the central plate had. Now he had a bigger knob to fume over.

“Whoever put this thing on this ship should be court-martialed!”

Ron began to twist the outer ring of this new, bigger knob, and did so till he felt it click. The outer most ring retracted into the bulk of the valve machinery once more, leaving two more rings and the centerpiece. He immediately began turning the outer most one again. Once it clicked, it too receded into the assembly.

“Two minutes.”

“I have a watch!”

Ron hurriedly turned and turned on this next to last switch, waiting for it to click. It halted without clicking. It did not drop back into the machinery. Ron tilted his head in puzzlement and tried to turn it some more. No matter how hard he tried, the device would turn no more. He tried pushing the ring back into the base by hand to no avail. He could not believe his rotten luck.

“It’s jammed up!”

“One minute, Commander.” Smith told him this time, “You need to come back in. Me or Johnathan will finish it—“

“Hate to bust y’all’s bubbles,” John cut in suddenly, “But we just got scanned. Multiple sources.”

“Ya’wenn scanners?” Ronald asked, still huffing at trying to turn the switch device.

“Yes, sir. Close in…no more than a million kilometers!”

“That’s inside torpedo range!” Ron shouted. Finally, the damned switch clicked into place and dropped into the body of the valve. He began to twist the inner hub what he hoped would be for the final time. “Any weapons signatures?”

“Negative. And they’re scanning from ahead, sir, not aft of us. They must have passed by us and doubled back.”

“They probably picked up our transporter sig and came lookin’” Ron grumbled, near out of breath.

“Time, Commander!” Tyler told him. “You’re now taking damaging doses of radiation!”

“Hold on!”

Ron did feel fatigued. Irritated. He ignored the feeling and turned at the module. It clicked and retracted. The valve began to vibrate beneath him as the plasma coils exiting the apparatus relit to a ruddy crimson. “Have you got power?”

“Not yet…” Bronstien told him. “But we’ve got company. Now detecting two Ya’wenn escorts, inbound!”

Ron continued to watch the damned valve. Another set of coils lit and powered up. Then a third.

“We got power!” Smith yelled out.

“Beam me in!”




Ron reassembled onto the face of the transporter pad in the center of the fore compartment. The emergency transporter had only recently been included in the design of larger, multi-role shuttles, and Ron was glad to have had one now. He hadn’t thought he could maneuver out the airlock in EVA gear without penetrating the shields and getting cooked by high rads.

The commander dropped his helmet to the deck and sank tiredly into his console seat. He didn’t have time to remove the suit or buckle in. He began to call up his sensor screens. Beside him, Tyler knelt to scan him with her medical tricorder. “Commander, you’ve taken moderate—“

“Not now, Lieutenant.” He told her.

Tyler slid back into her seat aft, still looking at him and at her readings. Ron ignored her, coughing wetly, and plied all his attention upon the two ships closing on his. They’d definitely seen the Sanchez. But they weren’t firing. Their shields were up…weapons on cold stand by…

“Why the hell haven’t they fried us yet?” He commented.

“Evasive, Commander?” Came from John up front.

“Yes, Lieutenant. Get us out of here!”

Bronstien threw power into the sublight drive and turned them to starboard, away from the approaching enemy. Ron watched both craft as the shuttle made its turn. They maintained their heading. There was no fire. After ten seconds, both stopped scanning them. Puzzlement gave way to realization and Ronald cracked his gloved hand on the corner of his console.

“They’re not Jarn’s ships!”

“What?”

“They didn’t fire on us, Lieutenant! They’re not here for us! They’re here looking into Jarn’s backyard!” He wondered if they were on just the same sort of mission that he had been leading.

“Well, Commander,” Johnathan bit back, “The bad guys have found us too. Three more escorts, with ID codes, closing from straight-ahead! They’re locking weapons!”

“Turn us back toward the other two, Lieutenant!” Ron ordered. He drew his gloves off and pitched them down to join his free-rolling helmet. “Maximum impulse power!”

The Sanchez wheeled back around and reversed course amid the first volleys of magnetron fire. The blue shots sizzled past the small craft as she headed into the depths of whirling energy clouds. Bronstien took them right down the previous ship’s throats. Soon, both craft were filling the canopy glass, then they were speeding by overhead as John ducked beneath them. Two more craft began to grow into view behind the first.

“They brought a fleet!”

The ships now centered in the pilot’s window began to open fire, lashing out with their own particle weapons at Jarn’s ships in the distance. Sanchez rocked from several near hits, but screamed on past, unmolested. After passing another three escort sized vessels, the shuttle passed into unoccupied storm-space.

“Plot us a course for empty space, Lieutenant. Take us home.”
***

'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #20 on: October 20, 2007, 10:13:19 pm »




CH. 7





Ford dropped the data PADD and looked across the surface of his silver desk.

“Remind me to never send the three of you on any more shuttle rides. Even to deliver the mail.”

Commander Davenport and Lieutenants Bronstien and Smith each smiled back hugely at the joke. They had lived through a harrowing situation and come out none the worse for wear. Now they could look back on their mission five days ago with humor. It would not have been so grand for them had they incurred injury, of course, but the worst among them had only suffered light radiation absorption.

Ford looked back to the lists of intel glowing on the PADD’s screen.

“You observed at least seventy vessels of combat capable size. Sixteen more under construction.” The commodore leaned back into his seat and let out a sigh of exasperation. “No wonder he could afford to send twenty odd ships out after us. He wasn’t depleting his forces by doing it.”

“I think Command may rethink its position on Jarn’s threat level.” Ron commented. “With that many ships at his disposal…”

Ford frowned, thinking back on the communiqué he’d received nearly a week before.

“Command is shifting our priorities for a little while. Our larger capitol vessels are going to be skipping out of the sector now and then to watch over the Klingon withdrawal from Goesa’vaina. To end the war between the Empire and the Mirak over the Juramik Stretch, the Federation Diplomatic Corps. has convinced the Mirak to return control of what they seized half a century ago. In return, the Goesans will be returning to a self-governing nation.”

The three officers took this information in. Ford did not include the details as to what the Federation gave the Mirak in trade. That was still classified intelligence. Smith and Bronstien were too young to know very much about the occupation of Goesa’vaina in ’74. Ford had been there. He’d been the navigator aboard the previous Endeavour under Captain Sharp’s command.

“I’ll brief our Command Base about this intel. They’ll likely have a sh*t-fit about how I got it. I’ll deal with that end. You three, and Nurse Tyler, however, will be recommended for commendation. Which reminds me, how did our lady nurse perform?”

Both the younger men burst out in wide smiles, making Ford wonder what was going through their dirty little minds. Ron coughed and looked to the deck. Even he was slow to respond. Ford’s brows rose and inch. “Something I should know about, gentlemen?”

Ron glanced up sheepishly.

“Well, she performed excellently… But it got rather…hot…onboard the shuttle.”

“When you were observing stealth protocol…” Ford intoned.

“Yes… Well… Us men didn’t have any problems stripping down enough clothing to manage… And…neither did she…”

Ford’s growing grin stopped in its tracks.

“She didn’t get naked, did she?”

“No…” Ron returned swiftly. Johnathan was shaking his head back and forth in memory. “Not quite. But she didn’t mind taking off her shirt. She kept her…undergarments on… But it was still so hot after the fighting…she forgot to put anything back on for a while.”

Ford nodded, seeing where this was headed.

“And, of course…y’all failed to remind her quickly.”

“Yeah…” Ron shrugged defensively. “After what we’d all been through…It was a nice diversion.”

“I’m surprised you boys didn’t wreck Sanchez on the way back.” Ford told them. He picked up his glasses and put them on in preparation to read over the finer details of their reports. “I’ll call you in first thing tomorrow for a final debriefing. Dismissed.”

The commodore watched them go. They cavorted and carried on as friends, probably more than they should have given that Ron was the exec. He didn’t mind. Let any one who wanted to object. They were his crew. He’d lead them any damn way he wanted to. And they were the best officers he’d worked with in a long time.

END.
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #21 on: October 20, 2007, 11:30:23 pm »
Pretty awesome.  While the scenes with Ford push his character along nicely, this one certainly belonged to Davenport, Smith, Bronstien, and Tyler.  All the best scenes, all the interplay that makes ya' go 'heh' is with them, and there's a lot of it.

Loved the bit with Tyler reminding Davenport of the time limit and his increasing irritation with such.  Amused by the very 'TOS' ending, too.  Seemed uncharacteristic, but entertainingly so.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2007, 02:00:33 pm »
Well I'm repeating myself, but I think the cammeraderie and the little things like the ones Larry described above or even the one earlier (again Larry) make you better then most actual writers. It's not just text, it's a tale.

OT though, nice to see the rest of the world is still going on without the Ya'wenn threat. Nice side note. And if a hot number didn't mind staying out of her clothes, I wouldn't mind either. Still, on a critical note, I didn't feel the urgency of those 7 minutes... Perhaps that could use a little more. But maybe it's just me. Larry? Andy? Anyone?
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #23 on: October 21, 2007, 08:48:43 pm »
You're right. There's little sense of urgency in those 7 because Ron doesn't seem worried. His compatriots aboard the shuttle do seem to be, but they're on the other end of a radio, so there's no real discription to it.

I might give 'er another edit and see if I can't touch it up a bit.

Anyone else got a pointer about how to make that one better?

BTW, thanx to both of y'all for the comments. Glad y'all are likin'.

#14 has little to do with the Ya'wenn, and is actually the writen version of a Trek dream I had. The actual story comes out much different than the dream did, and the dream wasn't movie era, but both the dream and the story seem pretty cool to me. Hope y'all like it as well.

#15 is the last one I finished. Took me forever to get it done 'cause I was totally out of Trek steam. It sees the finale of some of the overall plotline that has been around since Story #1. I'll start posting #14 soon.

--thu guv!!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2007, 07:12:30 am »
Perhaps a view from their end might make it more palpable. Having all of them sweating / worrying / trying to stare through the hull and maybe having a huge red display with the time left for Ron where they all are glacing at.
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #25 on: October 22, 2007, 11:19:57 am »
I actually like it how it is...great Davenport scene.  He's not worried, and other folks being all nervous is actually irritating him. ;D
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #26 on: October 22, 2007, 09:41:39 pm »
Woot. Any other opinions?

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline kadh2000

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2007, 02:27:17 am »
just an opinion, no analysis, least not tonight.

Liked it.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #28 on: October 27, 2007, 11:32:03 pm »
So...has everyone who cares to finished this one?

I ask so I'll know whether to make time to Andy-Proof (TM) the next one.

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2007, 03:33:15 am »

Nothing to dislike here. Flowed well and kept the reader interested all the way back to 23.

Ya'weenies v. Ya'weenies, eh? From a tactical standpoint, Jarn single-minded war-craze has created himself a very bad situation. He *might* be able to pull his butt out of the fire, but having both the 'good' weenies and the Feds on him, and especially with his technology as low as it is, his two-front battle field will cause his ultimate demise. Kingon help or no, this will be a tough one for the bad guy. Really though, I don't want things to be too easy for him.

From a *GO BADDIES!* PoV, he should have let the Feds rescue the Klingons without interference and kept on silently building his empire. But the dumb butt didn't, so... maybe he shouldn't have followed them out looking for revenge... he'd be in a better position to attempt payback with Ford had he done so. Impatience seems to be the downfall of so many villans. Kahn, as one... coulda offed Kirk while he was vacationing somewhere, but *NO*... "have to go revenging now, be back by dinner... despite the fact that if I wait a movie or two I could lob a photon at him while he's on holiday on Earth... or just out live him and crap all over his grave..."

All this is going to take is one of Jarn's Weenies getting close enough to "pose a threat" (ala "Its coming right for us!") to get the Feds back into it. Endeavor's been turbo-charged and has a few new friends to play with in this playground. Jarn's f*cked. I just hope that the rest of the Weenies can hold out against his forces long enough for him to entice the Feds back in off the bench. If not, we're in for a huge weenie roast.

I'm still hoping for the "Ford gets to have a few *private moments* with the SoB" plotline; but perhaps a The Lady, or the Tiger? style ending is in order?

Czar "Kk, Now I'm Done" Mohab, who is only dreaming of a tourtured and bloodied Jarn...
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #30 on: October 28, 2007, 11:07:07 pm »
You shal get some of those wishes fulfullined in #15...but for now...

...I'm off to Andy-Proof (TM) #14!

--thu guv!!
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Offline Scottish Andy

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« Reply #31 on: November 01, 2007, 12:24:06 pm »
Hey Guv, sorry for the lack of comments. RL is a bear. But I am back, and I have a whole host of comments here for you, some of them on the nitpick-y side, so don't get mad - just do as I say!  ;D

Overall this is a great story that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. The quality is consistently high, so even though I don't think I have too many of the "I really liked this bit" comments, know that I was thinking that about the Story as a whole, and the bits I do mention are "extra credit".

I didn't find the pace forced at all, nor was any one scene overriding the quality of or crowding out any other. There is a nice balance of and contrast between the tension of the shuttle mission and "meanwhile, back at base, it's business as usual". Good writing, great characterisations - even if some of the characters are not... the Starfleet ideal.  ;)

So, now onto a point-by-point analysis. Guv, you can stop reading here to save your blood pressure from the bad bits.  :D

Quote
The only one among them who had not complained about the heat was their medical officer, Nurse Tyler. She’d simply taken off her bra and her boots and adjusted silently.

Why did she take her bra off when it got hot? Jacket, sure. Jumper/Pullover/Sweater, sure. But taking her bra off first? Eh? Hai Dohn't Hunerstand.

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Such a massive planet such as Kovarn VIII was bound to drag home a lot of freeborn space garbage.

No need for the second "such".

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Okay, John-Boy.

Funny 'The Waltons' reference! Mum watched that damn show and made us watch it too, sometimes. "Good clean wholesome family entertainment." Meh.

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The kid choked off a cry of alarm as Ford’s right fist slammed viscously into his solar plexus.

Viscous: having or characterized by viscosity <viscous lava> - or the living oil slick that killed Tasha Yar in 'TNG:Skin of Evil'
Vicious: marked by violence or ferocity : fierce <a vicious fight>
'Nuff said.

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However, a legitimate, last minute change down in the galley could have earned a real Starfleet crewman a really bad day

I love this whole scene, and especially this last line. I'd have hated to be a last minute newbie crew change there if that's all he used to pick him out as a falsie!

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you know, I would have liked to have seen some poor new kid in Starfleet have a really bad day.

Nope, I totally disagree with Kadh here. I don't like to see undeserving people get pummelled by mistakes or random accidents of fate. Deserving people though... there's a different story.

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I always liked characters like Mr. Kyle [TOS] ans Sonya Gomez [TNG], and was always aggravated when you suddenly never saw them again [more so with TNG+series...].

Ditto, Guv. My stories are all about how a ship isn't run by only 7 key people. I'm all about showing the unseen crewmembers, and continuing to show the same ones in the same positions - promotions notwithstanding. I really enjoy shows with ensemble casts, and that's the angle I'm looking to develop.
Kinda need to do a few more stories myself though. Gotta stop planning the 50,000 word books though and just do 20,000 word novellas or something, like the Guv here.
Oh, and it's great that the slutty nurse from the 'Evil Entity' ep not only survived, but is going to become a regular supporting character! Yay!  :D

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“Alright…” Travers replied with a drawn out sigh. “We’ll do this your way. I’ll keep my boys and girls out of your uniforms. So long as the information I request isn’t altered before it reaches me.”

I'm really proud of Ford in this scene. Keep the fakes out of the Uniform! Respect the Uniform!
Though, what about genuine Fleet officers who are also in 31, like the SSTF from SFC? Jaeih did a story about that...

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“Romulan plasma torpedoes. The old style type, caseless, magnetically guided. And…sabotaged. The magnetic guidance systems won’t lock in on Starfleet warp fields. Our ships will be perfectly safe.”

Just curious: How would a magnetic guidance package home on on a warp field? I'm not really expecting an answer. Me and Larry have already had this argument...  ;D

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Chevy watched the older man depart. He wasn’t comfortable working with Section 31 again after all these years. But the trade off was too tempting to ignore. 31 would be operating around here whether he allowed them to and worked with them or not. Since they would be, he may as well reap the benefits of their working in his sector.

Good ethical dilemma with Ford adopting a practical outlook for the resolution. A lot of Feds would have said this gives 31 quasi-legitimacy, cooperating with Fleet officers, but if they're going to be there anyway. This is a very "the ends justifies the means" scene.

The Shuttle Sanchez is very cool looking, and I like him. However, apart from wanting him to look like an F-22, why the wings? You say he has an actual warp reactor on board (and a transporter. Must be very crowded and noisy in there! Or maybe like the Tardis...) so it can't be for tankage.

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Ronald angled his visual array lower to overlook that area. The armor casemate was indeed open to space there. What it meant was not apparent from their current vantage. “I can’t tell. We’ll have to change our vantage point to get a better look… But I think that’s its engine section.”

Heh... anyone else getting the Valiant vs. Dominion Battleship feeling here?  ;D

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Ya' know, I think, if I were Davenport, Smith, and Bronstein, I'd never set foot in a shuttle again.  There was that whole 'plasma storm' incident, and now they're being chased by the entire Ya'wenn navy.

Exciting chapter.  Loved the temptation to lob a torpedo into the battleship.  Very...us.

Also, very fond of this exchange...

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Quote
“Just do it, helm!”

“Did I say I wasn’t?”


Never, on most shows, does the guy being told 'just do it' remind anyone that he already is, damnit.

I totally second everything Larry says here.

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Bronstien looked back from the cockpit where he remained busy in dodging the alien’s efforts to track them down.

If there are multiple aliens, the proper possessive is: "the aliens' efforts".

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Bronstien and Smith both nodded, the later bending to replace the open access panels before resuming his station.

Should be "latter".
(Yes, I know, you don't care. I do, so suck it up! :D)

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“Dining of ashes, aren’t we?”

Kirk says it as "Dining on ashes?" in STVI. Seems to be a Biblical analogy: Psalms 102:9 For I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping.

I really liked Ford going over his battle. I'm pretty sure every military officer goes over his past actions when lives are lost, to see where he went wrong, what he could have done better, where lives could have been saved - so that if there is a next time, he can save them. It's called learning from your mistakes, and so few of us really do...
It's cool he's using StratCom to go over his options with simulations too.

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“Two minutes.”

“I have a watch!”

I love this scene too, and the Genesis Device comparison gave the correct image to hold onto. His frustration with the "non-standard part" is absolutely priceless!
I have to agree with the "7 minutes not seeming urgent" comment, but also agree with Larry that since it wasn't urgent to Davenport, that's the way it should have been written. It's great that the worriers inside are irritating him, being outside.
Though, wouldn't his watch be on his wrist and make the checking of it difficult in a spacesuit?

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Our larger capitol vessels...

Capitol: a building [or group therof] in which a state legislative body meets [the US's Capitol Building]
Capital: chief in importance or influence <capital ships>

(P.S. All spellings & definitions are taken from the American Merriam-Webster online dictionary, available here: http://www.webster.com/)

And finally...
Quote
“She didn’t get naked, did she?”

Great scene, very amusing and humorous, and as Larry says, very TOS, rounding off an ep with a comradely laughing scene. Great ending to a great story.
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #32 on: November 01, 2007, 09:01:04 pm »
Please...

no....

more...

spelling...

corrections....

Just kiddin'. Keep em comin'. Let's me know where to look for stuff the spell checker misses. When I write, I don't look at the screen. At all. I look at the keyboard. Being self-taught at typing and already having a set habit, I am unable to watch the screen for incorrect grammar and am not always going to catch it on editting. Such things like the 'Dining "of" ashes' incident...well, most any one is gonna look at that and say "That's supposed to be on, not of." I've found worse than this in PUBLISHED novels, so I'm not about to lose any sleep over it. So skipping past any grammatical BS, on to other points I have the urge to discuss. [I love your freakin replies!]

1] The bra: Come on man. You're married. Your wife never said "Ooo, I'm hot." And off with the bra? Hell, even my mom did that, much to the trauma of me and any visitors.

2] The John-Boy thing was not a Walton reference, though I am vaguely familiar with it having seen itty-bitty bits of said show over the years. My dad always thought the Waltons sucked, and as we were a one TV house-hold...nuff said. Actually John-Boy is what the real Ron Davenport calls the real Mister Bronstien in RL here in BF Arkansas.
My replying to this is really unnecessary...but since I'm scrolling back and forth anyway...

3] I still think it's funny that you DON'T find ANY humor in the good guy having a 'bad day'. The part where Ford takes an educated guess and slugs the kid/agent was a scene designed to make you think what the f*ck is GOING ON!? UNLESS...you were really paying attention to the questions and answers passed between the two before Ford stood up. AND...IF you had paid attention to Ford's quirks from previous Episodes to know what he liked. I wanted the reader to ask whether Ford had just totally flipped out, and later imagine if he HAD made a mistake. To me...that's funny as sh*t. Sometimes such thing [though on a smaller scale usually] will make me laugh even when I am on the recieving end. Perhaps I'm just wierd. But if so...then so are Kahd and La'ra...

4] Ford does indeed realize that there are 31 agents in Starfleet. He's perfectly willing to go along with this, knowing it was this way since LONG before he was born. He will, however, be expecting them to behgave as Starfleet personnel before Section 31 agents and will deal quite harshly with those he catches reversing their priorities. As to the SSTF thing, as per the norm, there will be no use of any SFB or C material in my story world with the possible exception of ships. The 'latter' :) is primarilly for simplicity in visualization and because many of the models in SFC were pretty damn cool [giving credit where due].

5] Q: "How could a magnetically guided weapon home in on a warp field?"  A: "Science Fiction Super Science!

6] Glad you like the Sanchez. The winglets were a personal touch, much like the wing-like engines on the Delta Flyer. No, the Sanchez does not have an 'actual' warp reactor on board. He has two fusion drives feeding a plasma capacitance core. Like a shuttle craft, only somewhat better. The bussard scoops give the Sanchez added duration as he can refuel on space-borne hydrogen where and if abundant, thus meaning the fusion drive has a renewable fuel source. Unlike my conception of a standard shuttle, Sanchez has an easier time replenishing his 'warp fuel'. There's a whole bunch of technical rubbish I could quote off that I dreamed up as a teen, when I actually gave a damn, but it's all useless BS. So I'm gonna save my fingertips.

7] More on Sanchez... Yup, he has a transport. Figured the established norm of TNG had to start somewhere, so the larger shuttles of Ford's era [at least in my 'verse] have transporters. The larger cargo shuttles on up, so long as they are new enough, are likely to be thusly equiped. And yeah...the Sanchez is very cramped.

8] Actually...didn't even think about the Valiant vs Dominion Battleship...not till after writing the story. I did like that episode, though. Showed some of the falacy in the way things were done in TNG era, which they didn't often do.

9] Yes, Ron's watch was likely inside his suit. He just wanted them to shut up with the count-down. Though, in retrospect...his helmet HUD was likely displaying the current time, so...his reply remains valid. Tried the line with 'chronograph'...lost it's effect. Changed it to watch.

10] The usual TOS endings are not very me, but sometimes a story seems to have no better end for it. I didn't want forshadowing for the next episode, nor did I want to just end it with a docking scene on Tenseiga. The 'debriefing' scene seemed best, and it was a Ford-style debriefing, so it came out much like a TOS ending. Purely coincidental in intent...but even I sat back and went: "Damn...there's Kirk and Crew...hamming it up old school. Only...dirtier..."

Well...omitting all the comments on grammar made this somewhat shorter than I thought. It's long enough, however. You replies are among the more instructive I recieve on this forum. I thank you for your insight! OTHER individuals don't get nearly as detailed in their opinions anymore...*casts eyes toward Oklahoma...*

Any way...I press on to look further into what Dyna has tonight. Thank you again!

--thu guv!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #33 on: November 02, 2007, 07:51:12 am »
Quote
You replies are among the more instructive I recieve on this forum. I thank you for your insight!

Not a problem, Guv. I wouldn't keep at you with replies like this if you weren't open to receiving them. The reason I keep GrammaHammering(tm) you is that it's in the same spirit as my other comments: it is constructive criticism! I'm pointing out the good and the bad so you can improve your own storytelling ability.
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The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2007, 10:25:30 am »
Wondering where Andy got 'slutty nurse'.  So far, all she's done is take off most of her clothes when she got hot...

...Oh.  Right.  Canada.  It doesn't get hot.  Such things are alien to the lad! ;D
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2007, 06:39:22 pm »
Yeah...he'd be in shock working at my store during the summer. Half nekkid chicks runnin' around all over.

--thu guv!!
'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

'Jaken...are you pretending to be dead?' --Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha.

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: #13: Intel
« Reply #36 on: June 23, 2008, 04:13:34 pm »
I would note that Davenport's comment is much like that of one LtCdr Montgomery Scott while working in a Jeffries tube in the original Trek ep "That Which Survives" when Spock told him how much time he had left before the ship would blow up from going to the speeds and power outputs they were at.

"Ah noo what time ut is. Ah doon't need a bloody coockoo clock."
CaptJosh

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