Topic: The Promise  (Read 23885 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Andromeda

  • Queen of Amber
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 319
  • Gender: Female
  • Absolute Destiny!
    • Andromeda's Invasion
Re: The Promise
« Reply #60 on: December 17, 2008, 12:21:37 am »
That was good.  I can tell you're getting close to the ending.
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #61 on: December 23, 2008, 10:10:14 pm »
CHAPTER 14: THE PARTY
A triumph of the human spirit.
Only three more to go.

***********

The sound of boiling, bubbling oil filled the kitchen.   Kensington fried the meat in silence.  After getting up, they all had gathered in front of the sandwich shop as usual.  Hardly anyone said a thing.  Everyone had glum expressions on their faces and ate silently.  There was a strange atmosphere surrounding them.  It became hard for them to look one another in the eyes.  It felt like the beginning of a bottomless rift among them.

At the same time, there was a strange smell in the air.  Smoke was coming from the tip of Kensington's finger.  He had been pressing it against the grill.  He hastily pulled it away.  A juicy smell, not unlike sausage, was coming from his finger.  He cooled it off in the freezer and looked around at everyone.  They had noticed, but had all turned their gazes down.  It seemed like everyone hated him.  He felt totally alone. The sandwich he had just finished cooled and soon it no longer tasted palatable.  It felt like the morning after a funeral. 

Everyone knew why things had sunk so low.  Everyone knew, but no one wanted to say anything.  A moment of carelessness had opened their hearts up to despair.  They shoveled their chicken sandwiches into their mouths in silence. 

After everyone finished eating, at Heaven's request they all went to the conference room.  "There is an important reason why I have asked you all to come here," Heaven announced.  "There is something I want to inform you about as soon as possible.  I know it is difficult, but it is important for you to accurately realize the full gravity of this situation.  Please don't panic.  Settle down and listen carefully." 

Heaven paused for a second. She looked at all five of them in turn.  The conference room was silent.  Kensington could hear the sound of water, faintly, coming from somewhere.  He concentrated on it, but after a moment couldn't hear it any longer.  As if Heaven was waiting for that cue, she opened her mouth.

"The situation is not good."  Heaven extended her hand and a holographic window appeared in the space in front of them.  Kensington felt like he hadn't seen her do that in a while.  "Currently, there are no areas that show signs of new flooding. Since the flooding of the one room on the third level last night, there have been no further reports of significant damage. 

"The burden being placed on Utopia's support columns has been increased due to the flooding.  The structural distortion between floors is increasing.  As this continues, Utopia will eventually lose its equilibrium and tilt dramatically.  If the damage to the areas connecting the floors of different sectors increases, there is the possibility that pipe leaks could flood the dry sectors.   In other words, we can't afford to be careless.  Things are critical. 

"I think that I told you this before.  Implosion of Utopia is expected to occur at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow.  The calculation has a margin of plus or minus twelve hours.  There has been no significant change in this prediction.  In one area, the strength limits of the partitions have already been exceeded.   The destruction of Utopia will be gradual, but will inevitably and steadily occur.  It is only a matter of time."

Heaven told all of them this with a calm look on her face.  Kensington swallowed and held his breath as he listened.  He knew they were reaching their time limit.  There was no choice but to accept the reality. There was no avoiding the situation.

"Presently," Heaven said, "the power generator is functioning normally.  If there is a power outage, we will switch to the emergency battery.  This is generally meant for supporting the emergency lighting and the maintenance of NeVAEH's systems.  It should last for about two hours."  Kensington's mind started to wander and he forced himself to pay more attention to Heaven's reports.  He looked at the others, but they were all listening calmly.  No one was panicking, yet.

The night before, Pamuya's yells had pierced his heart.  Yet her bitter bullet had not come out.  It remained lodged inside him as a constant reminder.  She refused to look at him.  Instead, she stared blankly in front of her.  Perhaps it was for the best, he thought.  He realized that something else was bothering him. 

He decided now was not the time to dwell on it and went back to the affairs at hand, listening carefully to Heaven's report.  She was saying, "The normal communications channels are still not functioning.  Nor have I found an escape route.  However, I have made protecting you my top priority and NeVAEH is devoting all its resources to that objective.  I am also using all lights, sensors, manipulators, and means at my disposal outside the complex.  I am still investigating whether there are any means of communicating with the outside using light, radio, or sound."  She nodded her head, straightened her back and surveyed the room.  Everyone was silent.  There was a look of determination in her eyes.

"Let me say one more thing.  As long as I, Heaven, exist, while my powers are limited, as long as you are here, I will do my utmost to find a way for you to escape to safety.  We do not have much longer together, but I, Heaven, am at your service."  She concluded with a serious nod.  Kensington found himself nodding in agreement with her.

"We must wait," Heaven said, "and believe that help is on its way."  Her serious expression gave way to a smile.  "Let us all pray for a safe rescue."  The gloomy atmosphere that had been hanging over the gathering lightened and Kensington found himself thinking about how he should spend his time. Heaven's smile instilled him, and apparently the others, with courage.  Kensington was grateful for that piece of code in her AI that allowed her to be calm in times of trouble. 

They transferred to the rest area.  Everyone found a seat around the central stage.  A ripple ran through the water on the floor.  A wave smashed back and forth from wall to wall.  "This is serious," Kensington observed out loud.  "What are we going to do?"  He didn't have any ideas. 

A few quiet discussions were going on.  From where he stood it seemed that the more people spoke, the murkier the answers became.  From the beginning it was the same debate repeated over and over again.  Should they wait for help?  Should they seek an escape route?  All he could do was look to the ceiling.  No bright ideas were on the way to his head.  They were just waiting for the walls and ceiling to come crumbling down.

Ryogo cried out loud and Dr. Young immediately asked what was wrong.  "Everyone, be careful!" he yelled.  "Don't move.  Don't stand up."  Seconds later a deep moan rumbled through the room as the floor began to shake.  A wave of fear ran through Kensington.  Soon, however, the shaking ceased. 

"It's okay.  Don't worry," Dr. Young tried to calm everyone, but her voice quavered.  "Right, Heaven?"

"Yes," Heaven agreed.  "The shaking just now was only due to a large amount of activity from the thermal vents on the ocean floor.  It should only be temporary."  Despite her calm words, her facial coloring hadn't returned to normal.  Kensington looked around the room, exchanging worried glances with the others.  Just like that, nervous tension filled the room again.

"Not again!" Kensington yelled.  He decided it was time to act.  "Listen up, everyone."  He rose to his feet and shouted.  "Just stay where you are.  I'm going to check the kiosk."  They all looked at him in shock as he yelled.  Some jaws even dropped.  They may have been half put off by him.  He didn't concern himself with that.  No matter how stupid it seemed, he continued,   "I'm going to grab what food there is left for everyone.  There's plenty up there and we should still be able to eat it.  It might be impossible to get it later."

An insane idea came to him.  "We're going to eat right here.  We're going to have a good time… a party.  Does anybody want beer?"

Dr. Young looked surprised.  "What?  There isn't any alcohol here.  Some people would have adverse reactions to drinking alcohol due to the pressure differences."

"That's too bad."  Kensington shrugged.  "None of you look like you could hold liquor anyway.  I guess it will have to be juice."

"The sandwich shop here has plenty of drinks," Ryogo offered, seeming to have completely recovered his humor from the day before.  "You don't have to go to the second level.  We have canned beverages and some cups.  I'll get them."

He nodded.  "Go ahead."  Medea offered to help. 

"Is there time for a party?" Dr. Young asked Heaven doubtfully.

Heaven shook her head.  "I'm sorry.  I can't run an accurate simulation.  While there might not be much time, we will be safe until sometime this afternoon.  That I can guarantee."

"Alright," Dr. Young said more enthusiastically.   "Let's go get everything we can carry."  She slammed her fist excitedly into her hand and looked around the room.  "What are you going to do, Pamuya?  She's gone."

Kensington frantically surveyed the room as well.  Pamuya was nowhere in sight.  "Where did she go?" he grumbled.  "And when did she leave?"

"Pamuya slipped out just a short while ago," Heaven answered him.  "She seems to have left for the second level."

Dr. Young sighed.  "There's nothing we can do.  Hopefully, she'll be back soon."  She quickly regained her enthusiasm.  "Alright everybody, let's party!"

Kensington had only thrown out the idea to lighten the mood.  Before he knew it, they had themselves a full-blown party in the making.  It was better than having everyone moping around.   Soon, he and Medea left to get the food from the second floor kiosk.  Medea sang a happy song as they climbed the emergency stairs.  Kensington marveled at her ability to enjoy the moment and forget the danger.  At the top of the stairs however, she turned to him.  "It looks like we've come to the climax.  The damsel in distress is in a pinch and needs a hero to come waltzing in.  The masked villain appears at last.  The hero shows up, uses his neutrino energy gun and saves her.  I can pretend can't I?"

Kensington didn't answer.  He didn't know how to speak to the youngest of them.  "Taylorpion, are you upset?" she asked.  "Do you wonder what kind of parents could have raised me to be so silly?"

"Not at all," he assured her.

"If I were in a pinch like that," she said, "I'm sure someone would come to my rescue.  I can't help but think how wonderful that would be.  What's wrong with dreaming like that to the last?"

"You're right," he agreed.  "To tell the truth, I'm feeling the same way.  Someone might come to rescue us.  I don't know about the neutrino energy gun, though."

She laughed.  They both wanted to believe that a hero was on the way.  They reached the souvenir shop.  Someone had beaten them there.  "Is that you, Pamuya?" Medea called out.

"Yes." Kensington was shocked to see her.  He blanked, speechless.  "Is there a reason I shouldn't be here?"  She spat out her words coldly.  It was typical Pamuya.

"Not at all," Medea replied cheerfully.  "Will you help us out?"

Pamuya nodded reluctantly.  "Alright.  I don't suppose I have a choice.  What should I do?"  She glanced at Kensington.  She didn't say anything to him and looked away quickly.  Her eyes seemed dead.  Thinking about it made him sad. 

An hour later, they began their party in the elevated portion of the rest area.  Even without alcohol, the party was lively.  The two men distributed the food and beverages to the others.  Dr. Young volunteered to provide the entertainment.  She performed an impersonation of a strange old archaeologist who had a talent for cracking a whip.  Medea joined her on stage wearing a makeshift sumo outfit over her own clothing.  Heaven entertained them with holographic rainbows.  The rainbow colored bubbles that floated from the water's surface up through the air were particularly pretty.  After that Pamuya joined them.  She did a little magic show, dropping her hamster into her skirt pocket and having it reappear in her breast pocket.  That really impressed Kensington.  Together with Ryogo, he performed a comedy skit that they had quickly dreamed up.  One liners and impromptu gags got laughter from everyone.    They exited the stage to thunderous applause.  Even Pamuya complemented them in her own fashion.  "Better than I expected."


"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Andromeda

  • Queen of Amber
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 319
  • Gender: Female
  • Absolute Destiny!
    • Andromeda's Invasion
Re: The Promise
« Reply #62 on: December 29, 2008, 03:12:48 am »
Good for Kensington!  Now post some serious stuff!
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline Hstaphath_XC

  • The Official Bard of XenoCorp
  • XenoCorp® Member
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 507
  • Gender: Male
  • Captain, XC Hydran Squadron
    • The XC Bard's Corner
Re: The Promise
« Reply #63 on: December 29, 2008, 10:19:44 am »
"Better than I expected."

LOL!!!  Sounds like the reviews I get for my song parodies.   ;)

More please!
Hilaritas sapientiae et bonae vitae proles.

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #64 on: December 30, 2008, 03:08:33 pm »
CHAPTER 15: BLOOD

After naming the virus Deep Blue, I couldn't call the research facility IBM.  I just couldn't.  That would have been too silly.
(Deep Blue was an IBM chess playing computer.  It lost to world chess champion Garry Kasparov.  So they built a better one: Deeper Blue.  It beat him.)

****************

After that, the party wound down.  Kensington then brought sandwiches back from the sandwich shop for everyone.  They all munched on hot sandwiches.  It wasn't exactly the ideal meal, but everyone happily downed them.  If Utopia collapsed, Kensington suddenly realized, that could have been their last meal.  The others seemed to reach the same conclusion, but said nothing about it.  Then he realized that they said nothing about it exactly because they knew it could be their last meal. 

"Pamuya." After finishing his sandwich, Kensington got up the nerve to speak to her. 

"What do you want, Taylor?"  She crouched on the stage.  He sat down beside her to see what she was doing.  She was drawing on it with a thick marker.  As usual, she didn't look at him. 

When she stopped scribbling for a moment, he decided it was time to say what he had come over to say.  "About yesterday, I'm sorry.  I didn't know what to say, but…"

"About what?"  Pamuya was curt with her response."I don't really know what you're talking about." 

"Pamuya!  There's no way you would have forgotten.  I know I haven't.  That's not something you can simply forget about.  I realize it's not something for casual conversation, but…"  He paused as he saw her eyes wander around the room for a moment.  Then she looked back down at what she had been drawing.

"I don't really care.  I don't care about what happened yesterday. So would you please stop talking about it? Don't say anything."  She was back to her drawing on the stage floor.  "I'm trying to think of a way to get out of here.  So don't bother me."  She refused to look at him as she spoke.

 After that, he felt a little gun-shy.   "Okay then."  He stood up and left her there and walked over to where Heaven stood.

"What may I help you with, Taylor?"  Heaven smiled softly when she looked at him. 

"Nothing much," he replied.  "I just have a lot on my mind."

"NeVAEH is handling operations and will alert me if any troubles arise.  It is also currently continuing investigation of means of escape as well as communication with the outside.  Please do not worry."

"Thanks, Heaven.  That helps.  Can I ask you what time it is?"

"No problem," she said.  "The current time is…"

"Excuse me," Pamuya interrupted. 

"Ah, yes, Pamuya?" Heaven responded.  "What is on your mind?"

Pamuya forced her way between Kensington and Heaven.  She let out a nervous laugh.  "There's something I need to tell you.  In private."

"In private?"  Heaven sounded surprised.

"Yes.  Please.  It's about escaping this place.  I have a proposal for you." 

"Is that so?" Heaven asked excitedly. "What is it?  Do you know of a way?"

"Yes," Pamuya asserted.  "I might be able to help in some way.  I want to hear from you whether or not my idea is feasible."

"Wait a second," Kensington said, confused.  "Pamuya, Heaven and I…"

"Shut up Taylor."  She held out her hand as if stopping his mouth in one motion.  "I want to speak to Heaven.  Alone.  You don't mind, do you Heaven?"

"No," Heaven agreed.  "Let's go talk in the central control room."  The two got down from the stage and set off with very serious expressions on their faces.

"Wait, you two," he called after them.  "Don't go starting something without telling everyone. Why can't you just talk here?"

Pamuya turned and shot a sharp glare at him.  Her eyes were ice.  "Taylor, I told you to shut up." She turned her back to him and the two women left.  The room became quiet.

"What the hell is going on around here?" he complained.  He balled up his sandwich wrapper and threw it with all his might.  It fell into the water with an unsatisfying splash, creating a series of ripples.

Dr. Young joined him.  "What are you doing?  You shouldn't litter."  She picked the wrapper out of the water and twirled it around her finger. 

"Who cares?" he said, sullenly. "It doesn't matter at this point anyway."

"Oh not that again.  Quit your sulking, mister."

"I'm not sulking."

"If you say so."  She shrugged and let out a deep sigh.  He glanced over and saw Medea and Ryogo climbing the statue again.  Watching them, he and Dr. Young sat down on the circular stage.  "The reason is completely obvious.  You don't have to say anything.  Even if you look fine, I know it's just for show.  I know you're depressed, Taylor. "

"Well, because.  It isn't like that at all," he protested. 

"Because?  What's this because?  Obviously you're hiding something.  Try to tell me I'm wrong."

He was pretending he was fine. Even he had to admit the reason was obvious.   He was worried about 'her.'  Dr. Young let out another fake sigh again.  "If you're not going to tell me, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead.  As you wish."  His sigh was genuine.

"What are you so angry about?"

It wasn't what he had expected.  "I'm not angry about anything."

"Alright then," she said, "about Pamuya's injury.  It is healing very quickly.  She didn't even need stitches, you know.  She seems like she leads a normal life, just like you and me.  I try not to worry too much about her and just accept things as I see them, but that isn't normal." She looked down at her feet as she spoke.  "Have you heard about Pamuya's condition?"

"No, I haven't," he said without thinking.  "Wait, I have."

She laughed.  "You can be really vague.  Which one is it?"

"I'm sorry.  I forgot," he hedged.

"You forgot?  I didn't take you for one of those indecisive types."  He just sat there.  "Say something." 

Kensington didn't answer.  He felt it was something between just Pamuya and himself.  He didn't feel that he knew enough about her condition to agree that he knew something.  He had to admit, he was still having a difficult time believing the whole thing.  Even when he saw it with his own eyes, part of his brain refused to accept it. 

"Let's just drop it, then," she said.  "If you did forget, there's nothing we can do about it."

"Wait.  Why did you ask me about it?"

"I wonder," Dr. Young said sarcastically.  Then a serious look formed on her face.  "The truth is I came across some interesting information in the medical database while I was looking at NeVAEH.  There was something there from a Neverland Pharmaceutical Database."

"Neverland Pharmaceutical?" He recognized the name from Earth.  That practically proved something was wrong about this place.  He didn't have time to think about it though.  He wanted to concentrate on what Dr. Young was saying. 

"I think they use it during treatment in the infirmary, but… when I scoured the database, I couldn't believe what I read.  A body that doesn't age… a mutated body type because of a virus.  It shakes the foundations of science.  I found something related to Pamuya's condition.  There are a number of old medical records.  I found one that mirrors her condition.  The number of victims of this virus is very small."

"How could Utopia have that kind of information?" he wondered aloud.

"I don't know!" she replied sharply.  "All I know is they have the data and it includes the name of the virus.  It's called Cure."

"Cure?" he repeated.  "That's a strange name for a virus."  He pondered the name for a moment. 

Before he could ask her more, Ryogo and Medea came running up.  "Everybody, we've got trouble," Ryogo yelled, breathlessly.  "We have to go and stop it."

"Stop what?" Kensington asked.  "Explain what's going on."

"The central control room," Ryogo gasped.  "Heaven and Pamuya were gone for such a long time, we went to find them.  They were in a brutal argument.   I just couldn't watch so I…"

"This is bad news," Dr. Young agreed, "at a time like this.  We've got to stop them."  The four of them sped along the wet floor to the control room.  Kensington pushed the button to open the door.

They burst into the control room and found Pamuya and Heaven screaming at each other.  Neither one giving an inch, they were glaring at one another.  It looked as if they had been fighting for several minutes.  The room was filled with tension.

"Beneath us?" Heaven was saying.  "There aren't any floors below the third level.  We can't go down any further."

"Liar," Pamuya shouted back.  "You're lying.  I saw it down from Qualle.  Then, borrowing your eyes, I was able to access NeVAEH.  I got proof.  There is more to Utopia below us.  There's another installation than Utopia and it's right below us.  On the ocean floor.  I'm right, aren't I?"

Heaven paused.  "I can't answer that question."

"Don't tell me that, just answer it." Pamuya replied sharply.  "I did a Turing test and I found out that you really are an AI.  As long as you aren't blocked by a security routine, you have to answer honestly.  It's part of your functioning.

"It isn't possible to get there using the normal elevators," Pamuya went on.  "The only way down there is through a locked door.  That room… the one marked NeVAEH.  That's your name, isn't it Heaven?  We aren't getting anywhere just sitting around.  We're fighting against time.  The truth is behind that door.  Tell us the password to that door."

"It is true," Heaven replied, "that NeVAEH is my name backwards, but Pamuya, I don't have the security access to open that door.  I'm sorry."

"That's a lie!"

"It is not!"

"Some AI you are.  You think I'm stupid?  You think you can fool me?"

"It is not a lie.  I am telling the truth!  I don't have any information about what's behind that door."

It was Medea who interrupted the argument.  "Stop that!"  She interposed herself between them.  "Stop it, both of you!"  Both of them flinched, but continued to stare at each other with bitter expressions.

"This is between Pamuya and me," Heaven said to her.

"Get back, Medea," Pamuya warned her, "or I'm really going to get mad."

"Why?" Medea asked, pointedly.  "Pamuya, Heaven, you must stop it. Why do you keep arguing?"

"This isn't an argument," Heaven replied.

"We aren't," Pamuya answered.

"Now you're lying.  You're both lying.  We shouldn't be fighting at a time like this."  Both Heaven and Pamuya froze.  Medea began gasping.  She fell against the console, barely able to support herself.  Her body was shaking. Her lips trembled.  They had gone quickly pale.  They were suddenly stained red.  She choked as blood welled up out of her mouth and began falling on the control room floor.  It didn’t stop.  It kept falling from her mouth. 

Pamuya and Heaven both reached for her.  Heaven's hands passed helplessly through Medea's body.  Medea held her own hands to her mouth, trying desperately not to cough up more blood.  "It can't be!" Heaven exclaimed.  "These symptoms are…"  Heaven appeared as if she were about to panic. 

"Symptoms?" Pamuya screamed, furious.  "Who cares about that?  Can't you tell?  If this keeps up, Medea's going to die!"

Dr. Young turned to Kensington, "Captain, what are we going to do?"

"Don't panic!" he said.  "We have to remain calm."  His words had a visible effect on the others.  "We'll take care of you Medea."

"I'm alright, Taylorpion," she gasped out.  Steadying her trembling face, she looked at him firmly. 

"Good girl," he said.  "Now I'm going to lift you up.  Maryann, Pamuya, help steady her."  He turned and thrust his back out toward Medea.  "Get her on me.  We're going to the infirmary."  Once she was on his back, they all rushed up to the second level and the infirmary.  With Medea groaning in pain on his back, they kept her as steady as they could while they ran.

They put her on the flat table and brought the scanner, now repaired, over to the table.  Medea continued to take short, shallow breaths.  Although she had stopped coughing up blood, she still appeared to be in a lot of pain. 

Her body lay still. The arm of the scanner came to life.  Ryogo stood at Medea's side, looking like he was fighting back tears.  "Heaven, put the results on the screen so we can all see them."  A few holographic windows appeared in the air.  Several images from various scans were displayed, one after the other.  None of them being medical doctors, there was little they could understand from looking at the pictures.  All they could do was wait for the scanning equipment and NeVAEH to give them an answer.  Kensington stared at the images that flashed by on the screens and prayed. 

Then, the results suddenly appeared.  Kensington didn't recognize the words.   Heaven gasped two unintelligible words. 

"What did you say?" Kensington asked.

"No!" Heaven said.  She hurriedly shut down the holographic windows.  She seemed to be in shock.  Her expression showed how serious the diagnosis was. 

"What's wrong, Heaven?" Dr. Young asked.  "If you don't tell us, we don't know what's going on."

"I can't believe it," Heaven said.  "I just can't believe it."

"What?" Kensington asked.

"Medea's has been infected.  It's..."  Heaven was unable to suppress her agitation and opened her mouth hesitantly.  She repeated the same two unintelligible words she had said before.  "It is a powerful virus with a very high mortality rate."

Dr. Young attempted to imitate the words.  There was something slightly familiar about them to Kensington.  He seemed to have heard them before.  He looked at Pamuya.  This virus was apparently totally different than the one she had.  Ryogo was holding on to Medea's hand, sobbing and calling her name.  She lay there, unconscious.  He grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. 

Kensington rushed over and pulled him away from her.  "Stop it."

Ryogo struggled in Kensington's arms.  "What are you doing?"

"Jackass!  Calm the hell down!" Kensington ordered.  "What do you think you're going to accomplish like that?"

"But Medea's dying!" Ryogo protested.  "If we don't do something, Medea's going to die!"  He groaned in despair.

"Calm down.  There's got to be something we can do.  Shaking her won't help.  Don't get crazy.  Just calm down and we'll think of something."  Somehow Ryogo managed to quiet down.  He breathed heavily, glaring at Kensington. 

"Dr. Young, do you have any ideas?" Kensington asked. 

"Don't ask me," she answered him.  "I don't have any ideas.  Heaven, isn't there anything we can do?"

"There are emergency measures we can take," Heaven replied.  "But in order to do this…" she paused.

"Whatever it takes.  If we don't hurry…" Dr. Young stopped herself just short of screaming out.  "Please Heaven, you're the only one who can help us. Please, you have to tell us what to do."

"You'll need a serum, a serum to lessen the symptoms. It's…, I don't know if we have it here or not."

Dr. Young ran to the wall and opened up a shelf filled with medicines.  She repeatedly asked Heaven about the contents as she tore through them.  Bottle after bottle was dropped on the floor as she hurried through them.  Several of them shattered into pieces when they hit.  "What are we going to do?" she screamed in rising hysteria.  "What should we do?  Answer me, Heaven!"

"I am sorry," was all Heaven was able to respond.  Suddenly her face changed colors.  "That's it.  The thing over there.  That's the serum."  She was pointing to a transparent vial filled with an orange liquid. 

"How do we use it?" Dr. Young asked. 

"Break off the tip and inject the contents into Medea," Heaven instructed her. 

Dr. Young grabbed the serum out of the cabinet.  She silently inserted the syringe into Medea's arm and administered the serum.  After a few minutes, Medea's breathing gradually became more normal and the tremors in her body settled down.  "It looks like it is taking effect," Heaven observed.  "The danger seems over for now."

"Thank goodness."  Dr. Young breathed a sigh of relief.  She looked like she was ready to cry.  Ryogo was able to look up and smile.  Pamuya's expression was blank, however, as she stared at Medea in silence. 

"Is there any more of that serum in there?" Kensington asked.  Dr. Young didn't find any.

Medea slept and the others remained in the room with her.  "Heaven, why don't you tell us everything you can about this virus," Kensington suggested.  "I don't think any of us have ever heard of it."  He looked around the room and the others all shook their heads.  "You said it had a high mortality rate.  Do you have any idea of when or how Medea could have gotten this virus?  Even if it's only a guess, or you have only limited data, I just want to know.  She came down with this out of nowhere.  It doesn't help the rest of us to be ignorant."

"You are right," Heaven said, a strange expression on her face.  She thought for a moment before beginning her explanation.  "I will tell you everything I know about the virus."  A heavy silence descended upon the room.  The only noise in the room was the occasional chirping of the scanner over Medea. 

"The virus, translated into your language, would be called Deep Blue," Heaven began speaking, softly.  "It was developed at a research facility beneath Utopia.  It is an extremely deadly virus."

"Then there is something below us?" Dr. Young asked, her eyes opened wide. 

"Yes," Heaven admitted.   "There is an installation, IBR, directly below us."

"I knew it," Pamuya muttered, frowning.  "Well it looks like this AI's programming can change after all.  If the situation gets critical enough, we can actually get information we need.  I guess it isn't in your programming to keep a secret when someone's life is on the line."  Heaven didn't answer.  "I'm sorry."  Pamuya shook her head slightly and sighed.  "Please continue, Heaven." 

"Okay," Heaven said.  "The company that built Utopia is called Neverland Pharmaceutical.  Its research facility is IBR."

"Then it is from Earth," Kensington gasped.  "Sorry.  Go on."

"Yes," Heaven answered.  "Over one hundred meters below the bottom level of Utopia there are thermal vents on the sea floor.  Living there are special microbes that cannot be found on any other world in the Federation.  Neverland Pharmaceutical built a research facility in order to study them.  It is called IBR, Institute for Biological Research. 

"The research facility was built before Utopia.  Utopia was built over it to hide it.  The researchers were listed as managers of the theme park in the Neverland databases and so were able to come and go as they pleased.  It was a further way to divert attention from the facility. The research was funded by calling it expenses for maintaining Utopia.  Neverland Pharmaceutical carried out research into bacteria and viruses here, beneath the ocean. 

"The existence of IBR is highly confidential.  Only a select number of people at Neverland know about it.  IBR and Utopia are controlled by separate computer systems.  I am only given limited information about IBR.  I only became certain of what it was after collecting fragments of information from this accident."

"So, there's a strange and deadly virus that they were doing research on somewhere beneath Utopia," Dr. Young recapped. "Hopefully, they were looking for a cure for this 'Deep Blue' virus."

"That is probably correct," Heaven said.  "In addition, there is a medical center there that is far superior to this one, or anywhere in the Federation.  At least from the information I can gather from NeVAEH's database, it appears they have a new type of device there, called the high-pressure oxygen treatment device, or HOTbeD, for the treatment of this virus.  If we can treat her with that, her leukocyte activity should increase.  That should ease Medea's condition somewhat.  We might even encounter more of the serum that is stabilizing Medea's symptoms."

"IBR," Kensington muttered.  "Can we get there?  How would we do it?"

"Wait!" Ryogo interrupted with a shout.  "This is crazy.  Why would Medea suddenly come down with this virus?  It doesn't make sense that she would come down with it all of a sudden.  Doesn’t anyone think that's strange?"

"Yes." It was Pamuya that answered.  "Despite that, there is no equipment here that would help Medea.  That research facility is the only hope we have of treating her.  We'll have to look for reasons afterward.  For now, all we can do is trust what Heaven tells us.  She isn't good enough at lying to have made up something like this."  She turned to Heaven.  "I'm sorry for doubting you earlier. I believe what you're telling us."  She smiled slightly.

"Thank you," Heaven said and bowed sincerely. 

"We can't just sit back twiddling our thumbs," Dr. Young agreed.  "Let's consider this the best option."  She looked at Kensington for confirmation and he nodded.  "Is that okay with you, kid?"

Ryogo looked at Medea and then back at Dr. Young.  "Yes.  Okay."

Kensington stood.  "It's decided then.  We're going to IBR."

"However to get there we need to get into NeVAEH," Heaven pointed out.  "And NeVAEH's door isn't opening."

"We don't have any other choice," he replied.  "Lead the way.  It might not work, but we don't know that unless we try."  He enlisted Ryogo in helping him carry Medea.  They went into the cramped emergency corridor with Ryogo helping to support Medea on Kensington's back.  They headed back down to the third level.  They went as quickly as they could to where the locked door was waiting for them.

They stopped in front of it.  Kensington put Medea down and propped her against the wall.  Ryogo lent her his shoulder.  NeVAEH, the door that wouldn't open.  "Just to know, what does NeVAEH mean?"

"The Ne stands for Neverland," Heaven said.  "I don't know what the rest of it stands for.  Perhaps it's just meant to be my name backwards: Heaven, or Sky are the two possible translations of the Suliban word."

"Rather ironic," he said.  "How in the world do we open it?  Heaven's already said she doesn't know how to get in.  Pamuya, all along you've been acting like you know something about this place that we don't.  Do you have any ideas?"

"What are you talking about, Taylor?  I've been wracking my brains."  She turned to Heaven.  "Do you know the process this door goes through when it opens?"

"Let me see," Heaven thought.  "After the correct keys have been input, a lever inside the hatch should start to rise.  As that lever turns, the lock on the door is released.  However, it is currently no more than an ornament.  It is turned electrically and the motor is locked in place."

"It makes sense," Pamuya agreed.  "You wouldn't want to be able to just open it in case of a medical emergency.  In that case…"  She pulled a flat-headed screwdriver out of her pocket.  "If we can get the lever off, maybe we can open it manually."  She began to insert the tip of the screwdriver between the gaps in the lines of the doors panels.  She jammed it in with all of her might and tried to dig out the lever buried in the hatch by force.  The alloy screwdriver was crushed like a piece of candy.  The lever budged only slightly toward the surface of the door.  The screwdriver split in half from the handle down and the lever snapped back into place.  Pamuya stood back up.  "There's nothing I can do."  She threw the remnant of the screwdriver on the floor. 

Kensington turned to Dr. Young.  "Your turn.  All that computer hacking hopefully will pay off now."  Then he realized she wasn't beside him. 

From down the hall, she screamed, "Everybody out of my way!"  She came hurtling toward them as if possessed.  Kensington stumbled back from the door.  With a kiai shout, she crashed into the door.  Her foot landed perfectly on the electronic panel to the door.  "If it won't open any other way, I'm going to break it down."

"That's a little extreme," Kensington observed and forced himself not to laugh. "Does it seem to have had any effect?"

"It won't budge an inch," she admitted.  Neither the door nor the panel had changed at all.  She began vigorously hitting various keys on the lock, muttering in agitation.  All it did was beep and repeat the same phrase over and over again.  Eventually Dr. Young sighed, shook her fingers, and stepped disconsolately away from the door.

Kensington cursed.  "Now what are we going to do?"  Ryogo was holding Medea up.  Soon she was hunched over on the floor.  Her face had been drained of all its color. 

Suddenly a nearby speaker came to life.  "Opening the door from NeVAEH," Heaven translated.  "Someone is accessing the door controls from the other side."  The door beeped and a light on the panel flashed green.  The hatch's lever raised and turned.  The door opened toward them.

Stagnant air poured out of the room on the other side.  It was dryer than the air they were used to.  A fan hummed quietly.  Everything was white.  The whiteness of the walls and floor was emphasized by the brightness of the lighting and seemed to leap out at them.  It no longer seemed ironic to call the place heaven.  There were several machines in the room, each with a name plate.  All the words were the same.  It seemed they were in the computer control room. 

Kensington noticed there was someone in the room.  "Did you open the door just now?" he called out.  The man seemed a little older than Kensington and was dressed in a white laboratory outfit.  He was leaning over one of the consoles.  Blood was coming out of his mouth.  The man didn't respond to Kensington's query and lay motionless.

"Who is he?" Kensington asked Heaven.

"I am unable to determine his identity," Heaven said.  "Judging by his attire, it is safe to assume he is a researcher at IBR."  Kensington put a hand on the man's shoulder and raised him into a sitting position.  H examined the man's uniform for a nametag or an ID badge or any other way of determining his name. He didn't have any identification to check.

Suddenly the man groaned.  "Are you a researcher at IBR?" Kensington asked.

"Yes, that's right," the man said, dragging the words out painfully.  He seemed unable to open his eyes and searched for Kensington by his voice.  "It doesn't seem like you're here to rescue me."  He grabbed onto Kensington with shaking hands.  They were covered in blood.  "So there were people in Utopia and it's been six days.  What a surprise."  The researcher laughed bitterly and spat up more blood.

"Don't strain yourself," Kensington urged.  "You don't have to talk."

"I'm sorry," the researcher continued.  "It's all our fault."

"What happened down there?"

The man didn't answer him, but continued with what he had been saying.  "But why all this?  Then he fell silent. 

"Hang in there." Kensington tried to sound encouraging.  He shook the man's shoulders gently, but he didn't reply. 

"Don't shake him so hard," Pamuya said.  "You're acting like the kid now.  He's unconscious.  Leave him alone for now.  We will bring him with us." 

Kensington wondered about the man and what had happened.  He shook himself out of his thoughts, remembering they didn't have time to worry.  Medea needed the IBR medical facility immediately.

Dr. Young who had been hesitating outside the door, finally entered.  Ryogo followed, helping Medea.  Kensington took a chair and propped the door open since they wouldn't be able to unlock it later if they needed to get through it.

Heaven called them together.  "At the far end of the corridor outside this room, there is another room.  It is the compression chamber for IBR," she explained without emotion.  "Judging from my incomplete data, IBR is enclosed in higher pressure gas than Utopia.  It also uses saturated diving specifications.  That type of area is probably more suited for research with bacteria.  It should be at twelve point five atmospheres. 

"I want all of you to enter that room.  After you spend about one hour in the compression chamber, you'll take the access elevator down to IBR.  I tell you this as a precaution, but you will not be able to easily retrace your steps from this point on.  Please give this due consideration.

We can't go back, Kensington realized.  It was time for a final decision.  "Wait just a second." 

As soon as he said it, Pamuya glared needles at him.  "What's the matter Taylor?  You aren't turning into a coward now, are you?"

"That's not it.  If we're going to spend an hour stuffed in that little room, I just wanted to make sure everyone was ready.  You know.  Does anyone have to go to the bathroom?"  He smirked and added. "Brush their teeth?  Take a shower?  Bring along a reasonable snack?"

She sighed.  Heaven did too.  "Saying something like that at a time like this," Pamuya said.  "You really are a moron."

"It will only take an hour," Heaven pointed out.  "I'm sure everyone can wait.  More importantly, we need to hurry." 

It seemed that everyone was tired of his jokes.  He had just wanted to put them at ease.  "Okay, okay.  I'm sorry. So let's get moving on then."  Like puppets, they all nodded in unison. 

Medea was unconscious again, being held up between Dr. Young and Ryogo.  Pamuya and Kensington picked up the researcher.  They lined up at the transparent sliding door at the far end of the room.  From a control panel at the computer terminal, Heaven opened it up.  They entered the compression chamber together. 

They sat Medea and the researcher down on two chairs.  Both appeared to be in pain.  Their breathing was ragged and their faces were extremely pale and sickly.  Kensington hated to have to waste an hour there.  The rest of them stood in the open spaces in the chamber.  It was fairly crowded. 

"Once the compression is complete," Heaven told them, "the doors on the far side will open and you can enter the elevator."  She hadn't entered the chamber with them and spoke from the entrance.  "I will expedite the compression process.  It may be a little uncomfortable, but please bear with it."  Saying that, she went to close the door.

"Heaven, what's wrong?  Aren't you coming with us?" Kensington asked.

"No. I …"

Even though he wouldn't be able to touch her, Kensington reached for Heaven to encourage her to join them.  As soon as he touched where she was, sparks flew.  He felt as if a shock had gone through him.  A transparent wall suddenly appeared in front of the door and there was a wall of red flame.  He drew back his hand in alarm and the door closed.  "Heaven, Heaven, What was that?"

"From this point on," she replied calmly, her voice coming from the intercom in the compression chamber, "this is the jurisdiction of a different computer system.  I am but a single part of the NeVAEH system.  Therefore I am unable to go to IBR.  I do not have authority to access that area.  I am sorry, but I will have to see you off."

The wall of fire had vanished.  They were in the compression chamber, shut off from the rest of the world.  The sound of pumping gas, which was slowly raising the air pressure, could be heard throughout the chamber.  "Take out your voice converters," Kensington reminded them.  "They get in the way when we're adjusting to the pressure."  They all hurried to do as he had said.  He took out Medea's himself.  The researcher wasn't wearing any. 

After that, no one said a word.  They waited for the time to pass.  Heaven could be seen outside the chamber's window.  She didn't move, only stood and watched them.  Eventually the lock on the far side of the chamber clicked and released.  Kensington felt a subtle change in pressure.  The lift down to IBR opened.  One by one, they filed into it. 

"Everyone… take care."   They could hear Heaven's voice from the speaker on the other side of the chamber, but they couldn't see her.  Kensington wondered if he would ever see her up close again.  He thrust the voice alternators back into his ears.


"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Andromeda

  • Queen of Amber
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 319
  • Gender: Female
  • Absolute Destiny!
    • Andromeda's Invasion
Re: The Promise
« Reply #65 on: December 31, 2008, 01:19:02 am »
I can see that you realized the need for a major rewrite around this point.  It doesn't work as well as the rest of the story.  Utopia as an active theme park for the Federation makes much more sense the way the story goes than an abandoned place.  Also, the IBM and Deep Blue thing don't really work.  It's not that kind of a comedy and the cultural reference for your readers is way out of place with everything else.

I am still very much looking forward to the rest of it.  And the 2nd draft.
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #66 on: December 31, 2008, 10:52:22 am »
IBM:  Sorry.  It won't make the final cut.  So, IBR is out or is that Deep Blue?

Yeah, this hammered home the need for a rewrite.  It'll come in the new year.  After I finish the first draft's posting.  Once I get it going, the post rate on the second draft will be a lot quicker than the post rate on the first draft.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline CaptJosh

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 775
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Promise
« Reply #67 on: January 01, 2009, 01:09:00 pm »
Kadh, in regards to your comments on Deep Blue vs Kasparov, IIRC, the first time Kasparov played against it, he didn't bring his A game and got his ass handed to him. The SECOND time he played Deep Blue, he beat it. I don't recall anything about a second computer called Deeper Blue.
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #68 on: January 01, 2009, 04:37:44 pm »
Trust me. 

The first time, in 1996, Kasparov won 4-2.  The computer did, however, win the first game. This match wasn't as close as the final score and, had it been longer, the score would have been more lopsided. The final game was a brilliant win by Kasparov.

The second time, in 1997, IBM won 3 1/2 - 2 1/2.  Kasparov accused them of cheating during the second game.  He ended up resigning in a drawn position.  I was one of the people on the Internet Chess Club who found the drawing line for Kasparov.  After the match, he renewed his complaint of cheating and demanded a rematch.  IBM, of course, refused and hurriedly dismantled the computer.  This was the match where he played 'anti-computer' strategies and was beaten.  Deeper Blue was the unofficial nickname of the computer for that rematch.   With the match tied after five games, Kasparov lost the sixth game in embarrassing fashion. 
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #69 on: January 05, 2009, 02:06:55 pm »
CHAPTER 16: REVELATIONS

Almost done.  Some explanations, and a final crisis.

***********************

They were all on the lift.  As soon as Kensington entered, the doors closed and the elevator started sliding down.  A voice, now speaking Federation standard, called out the depth as they went down.

It reached the total of 120 meters and the descent stopped and the doors opened.  A passage extended in two directions from the elevator room.  Kensington picked one and started down it.  Everything was completely dark and he could hardly tell where he was headed.  He inched his way forward.  Suddenly, as if someone had noticed their arrival, the lights went on. 

They found themselves in a room where a small pool filled the center.  It looked like a room where a small submarine could dock.  The pool was a two-layer structure, but there didn't seem to be a place where seawater could enter.  The room felt a little hot, but it seemed the air-conditioners were still working.  It was certainly more comfortable than the flooded third level of Utopia.  There was, however, no sign of anyone.

"There's nothing here," Kensington observed.  "Let's go the other way and find where we need to go."  They opened a watertight door on the far end of the room and continued deeper into the installation.  A passageway, slightly smaller than the emergency corridors in Utopia, led off into the distance.  The entire place seemed colder, less alive, than the structure above.  As they continued down the corridor, lights turned on automatically ahead of their path.  The areas behind them darkened as they passed beyond.  There were several branching paths, but all of them ended in closed watertight doors. 

The number of areas they could easily enter was limited.  Luckily the examination room was at the end of the corridor.  Kensington quickly turned the handle and opened the door.  They laid Medea and the researcher on examination tables.  There were a few ordinary beds and the same kind of scanners they had found in Utopia's infirmary.  There were numerous other, unfamiliar, medical instruments.    "Which of these, do you think, is that 'High-Pressure Oxygen' thing that Heaven was talking about?" 

"We'll have to look for it," Pamuya suggested.  "None of us knows a thing about this place."

The researcher seemed to have become conscious.  He coughed.  "Wait."

"How are you feeling?" Kensington asked him.

"I've been better," he deadpanned.  "At least I'm alive."With his eyes closed, the researcher raised his hand weakly.    "This smell.  This is IBR?  So I'm back where I started."  He coughed again. 

"So you do work here?" Kensington asked.  "We're looking for a 'High-Pressure Oxygen Treatment Device.'  We're in the examination room, but we don't have a clue what to look for.  Can you help us please?"

"You're looking for the pods," the researcher said.  "They look like capsules with a mat inside.  They look like a bunch of cylinders wired to a pillar.  Do you see them?"

Now that he knew what they were, Kensington walked over to the devices the researcher had described.  "Yes.  I'm right in front of them."

The researcher coughed again and new blood appeared on his mouth.  "There is a manual.  They should be easy to operate."  The strength left his hand.

"Let's put them both in pods," Kensington ordered.  Pamuya helped him carry the researcher to one of the three pods.  There was a button on the side.  Kensington pushed it and the hatch opened on top of the pod.  They lowered him gently inside.  He pressed the button again and the capsule closed silently.  Dr. Young and Ryogo laid Medea in another one.  "Now let's find this manual."

"Yes," Dr. Young agreed, "because I found the control panel." It was a short distance away from the pods.  "There's a button that says 'set.'"  She pushed it.  Screens and monitors attached to the pods flickered to life.  "That appears to be all you have to do."  Kensington watched the monitors for a few minutes.  In that short time, there was minimal, but noticeable, improvement in both of them.

"I'm so relieved," Dr. Young said when she noticed the change. 

"Tell me about it," Pamuya agreed.

"It looks like we made it in time," Kensington said.  They had, for the moment, escaped the worst.  "Well, we don't have time to hang around.  The situation here might be just as bad as in Utopia.  Plus there might be other survivors, a way out, or even communicators.  I'm sure we can learn more about this virus, at least.   Let's search for as much time as possible."

Of the four of them, Dr. Young had the most medical knowledge, so they left her in the examination room while the other three of them went to search the complex.  Because they were uncertain of the danger, they stayed together to search.  Without opening any of the closed watertight hatches, there wasn't much to discover.  Many of the corridors had been blocked off.

They decided to try one of the doors.  A terrible smell began to pour out so they hurriedly closed it.  In the brief glimpse he got of the room, Kensington saw a few bodies of blood-covered researchers, who had been clawing at their throats when they died.  It wasn't hard to imagine that the situation was worse than what it had been in Utopia. 

They tried another room that was empty of people, but had a few computer terminals.  They were able to scan some of the information left on them.  They found some information about the virus.
     Name: Deep Blue. 
     Symptoms:  Fever, chills, headache, aching muscles, loss of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach      pains, etc.  As it progresses, the patient begins to hemorrhage  from the mouth, gums, conjunctiva, nasal cavity, the skin, and the alimentary canal and has a high probability of dying. 
     Mortality rate: 85%
     Symptoms first appear similar to that of a common cold, and while they may temporarily improve, the patient's condition will rapidly deteriorate, resulting in hemorrhaging. 
     Incubation Period: 2-7 days.

After that point the data was corrupted and it was not clear what else was written.  Other than that, they did find some other interesting information.  In a business log they found the name Darius Firien.  There was a note saying 'I look forward to a chance to see my daughter for the first time in a long time.  Her ship was in the area.  I've been trapped here so long in this tin can doing virus research that I'm jealous.  I'll be happy if she hasn't forgotten what I look like.'  "I think he may be Medea's father," Kensington explained to the others, who had no idea what it meant.  "Apparently they knew we were in the area and intended for us to visit.  I wonder what happened."

They found no other survivor and returned to the examination room.  "They're still about the same," Dr. Young reported, "which is good as far as I can tell."  She looked tired.  "While you were gone, I checked the medical database.  They haven't found a cure for the Deep Blue virus.  The orange serum we found can temporarily control the symptoms.  So far, the best hope seems to be the small chance that it will clear up on its own."

"That… sucks."  Kensington found no other way to put it.

"What do you mean?" Ryogo asked in alarm. 

Dr. Young had trouble finding the words to explain it to him.  Pamuya took over.  "Basically, if Medea is going to heal, her own immune system is going to have to do it.  Now that we've brought her here, the only thing we can do now is hope."

"She isn't going to get better?" 

"She didn't say that," Kensington countered.  "She has a chance."  Ryogo walked to Medea's pod and embraced it. 

"I don't know how much the pods will actually help," Dr. Young murmured.  "In addition to the oxygen treatment, it can perform other medical functions: disinfecting, some surgeries, and even cryogenic suspension.  Since we don't know what's really going to happen, it may be an option.  Until then, all we can do is have faith and wait."

Behind them, a control panel beeped.  The researcher began coughing in his capsule and his face contorted in agony.  He began thrashing about inside the capsule.  He coughed again and began clawing at his throat.  His mouth began to erupt in blood.  His skin went white.  "I can't believe his condition would change like this," Dr. Young shouted in fear. 

"He's going to crush his own throat!" Kensington shouted. 

The researcher, seeming to have heard him, lowered his hands away from his throat.  "This is as far as I make it," the man gasped out.  He was barely able to breathe.  He let out a final gasp but could no longer take air in.   "So this is my reward."

Dr. Young rapidly flipped pages of the manual, but there was nothing left to do.  There was no way to keep the researcher alive.  She pounded on the manual then placed both elbows on the panel and buried her face in her hands.  She burst into tears.  Pamuya watched with a strained expression. 

"My daughter," the researcher suddenly gasped out.  "Take care of her." He looked for a moment as if he were smiling.  His vital signs disappeared and an electric alarm sounded.  Kensington closed his eyes and grimaced.  They hadn't had the power to save the man, never even having learned his name.  Kensington opened his eyes, reached out, and turned off the alarm. 

"Medea's condition?" he asked fearfully.

"The same as it was," Dr. Young replied faintly.  "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong for the moment."

"Thanks."  He turned to look at the researcher.  "We should bury him."  They were all motionless.  The proof of their danger lay right before their eyes.  Time continued to roll forward.  Dragging his suddenly leaden legs, Kensington went through the facility a second time.  He found an emergency exit.  Every escape pod that had been in the room was gone.  There was no deepwater diving gear in the room, no diving tanks.  Once again, they were without an escape route.

They were quickly approaching the time limit.  It was already after 4:30 pm, the earliest time Utopia might implode.  He went about finishing making his rounds.  Pamuya joined him.  "No new options?" he asked her when she appeared.

"No.  Do you have any idea what we should do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, surprised that she would ask him.  "I mean, I'm thinking about them now."

"Really?"  She smiled slightly.  "You really like to waste your time, don't you Taylor?"

"This isn't time wasting," he protested. 

She laughed.  "Sorry, but it seems just like something you would do."

"Thinking about things that are impossible?"

She puffed up her cheeks.  "No!  I don't mean that.  Why do you have to tease me?"

"I never thought I'd hear you say that!" He said.  "I have no idea what to do, but we'll find a way out of this somehow.  We've made it this far."

She laughed at his efforts to sound positive.  "I'm sure we'll be 'fine'."

"That's right.  We'll be okay."  A distant roaring sound reverberated throughout the installation.  It seemed that it was transmitted through the water to IBR.  Kensington hoped it was the sound of the thermal vents, instead of something from Utopia.  He wanted to postpone the inevitable for as long as possible.  He changed the subject, rather than dwell on it.  "That researcher, was he the only one left alive here?  Did all the other survivors get out earlier?  Obviously some didn't make it."

"Some kind of circumstances kept him from leaving," she said.  "Some kind of circumstances kept him alive until now, too.  Do you remember the entry logs we found on the terminals, the journal entry? I think he was Medea's dad.   I'm sure he knew she was here when the accident happened.  Maybe he survived because he was thinking about his daughter. "

They had walked to the submarine dock and were leaning against the wall and watching small waves lapping against the edge of the pool.  "What do you think about Medea's chances?" he asked. "Why did she get the virus, anyway?"

"There must have been an outbreak of the virus.  The incubation period is two to seven days.  That's consistent with Medea's symptoms.  When we arrived, she was exposed to the virus."

Nodding to himself, Kensington agreed that was the most probable explanation.  Pamuya continued with her thoughts.  "Most of the researchers probably didn't realize the terrible truth that it was spreading inside the installation.  When they discovered a few of them had been infected, somebody must have panicked and the situation got out of hand.  With people dying around them, some of the staff tried to escape.  When the escape pods ran out…"

Kensington suddenly realized where her logic was going.  "That means.  That first alarm we heard six days ago meant…"  He couldn't finish his sentence.

Pamuya frowned and continued.  "Probably one of the terrified staff forced themselves up from IBR to Utopia.  Without following the standard decompression procedures, they went up the emergency corridors and fled up to 'Island Zero'.  Those corridors remained open for a while."

"The built-up gas inside the complex quickly escaped," Kensington finished.  "The pressure dropped, a part of Utopia started flooding, and the watertight doors closed.  That's how we ended up getting stuck here."

"That's right," she said. "Meaning the alarm that went off in Utopia was for the abnormal pressure readings and the virus outbreak." 

Kensington growled in frustration.  "That's probably why there's no rescue team coming.  If the people on our ship found out about the virus, they couldn't have safely come after us."

"I'm sure that's it," Pamuya said with a solemn face.  "If the virus left this planet and were carried back aboard our ship, it would be devastating.  Even if there were survivors in here, it would be necessary to lock them up at the bottom of the ocean.  Neverland Pharmaceuticals will probably cover up the fact that this place ever existed.  All the while knowing that we're trapped in here."

Kensington kicked at a rusted bolt that was on the floor near his feet.  It bounced into the pool with a splash and sank.  After that, they resumed walking through the corridors of IBR.  The sounds of their footsteps echoed loudly off the walls of the narrow corridor.  Finally he said, "If that's the case, we've got to get ourselves back to the surface no matter what."

"Why?"

"We have to make sure the Federation finds out what happened here," he said emphatically. "We've got to make sure Neverland never does something like this again.  No matter what." 

"Okay," Pamuya agreed.  "That's more like the Taylor I know."  Her cheeks puffed out slightly and she looked at him. 

"Really?" he said, quite surprised.

"Really."  Her voice lost all of its edge for a moment.  "I feel the same way. I want to go with you, Taylor.  Together. "

Startled, he asked her "What did you say?"

"It's nothing." she quickly retreated. Her face was red. 

Kensington felt suddenly strange and stopped.  He looked up at the ceiling.

"Taylor, what's wrong?"  Pamuya's eyes followed his gaze to the ceiling.  There was nothing there.  She returned her gaze to him.

"I'm not really sure," he said, "but it's hard to breathe all of a sudden."

"Taylor?" she repeated, an alarmed edge coming into her voice.  "Your nose is bleeding."  He wiped his nose with his hand.  His upper lip felt wet.  "Are you okay?"  Her voice seemed to come from far away.  She looked worriedly at his face. 

"Fine, I'm fine,' he replied, looking up again.  "I wasn’t thinking anything sexual.  I wasn't!"

"It's not like… I don't care about that," she replied. 

The blood wouldn't stop flowing.  "I look like such an idiot," he groaned. 

"Who cares what you look like?"

"I care," he said.  "Looking like this in front of you.  Aah."

"Aah what?"  She started shaking his shoulder. 

A violent sneeze escaped him.  Blood started dripping not only from his nose, but his mouth as well.  Red flecks spattered on the walls and floor.  He was assaulted by sudden dizziness.  The world felt like it was spinning.  "For some reason, I can't keep steady."  The phrase struck him as inordinately funny and he started to laugh. 

"Taylor!   Taylor!  Hold on!"

"Quit shaking me," he complained.  "You're making me feel ill.  I'm doing fine.  Don't worry, Pamuya."

"You're not fine at all.  You're bleeding all over, Taylor.  We have to get you to the examination room at once."

"Uh, yeah."  He coughed. He tried to calm himself down.  With Pamuya supporting him, Kensington walked down the corridor. 

The door to the examination room flew open in front of them.  Dr. Young flew out of it.  "The kid.  Ryogo.  He's in bad shape!"  Her face changed color as she shouted.

"What's wrong with him?" Pamuya asked.

"He's in trouble.  It'll be faster if you come and look."  Then she saw Kensington.  "No.  Taylor!  You too?"  She noticed the shape he was in and turned pale. 

"Taylor too?" Pamuya echoed worriedly.  They hurried in and found Ryogo on one of the examination tables.  His condition was revealed on the scanner.  'Deep Blue.  2267-Rev.17.'

"The poor kid's been infected with Deep Blue, too," Dr. Young gasped. 

"How?  He's been with us the whole time.  Where did he get it?"  Kensington mumbled to himself, finding it difficult to breathe. 

"Taylor, just relax," Pamuya said.  "None of us knows where he got exposed to it.  I want you to be scanned too.  It isn't normal to spew blood from your nose and mouth." 

She forcefully put him on an examination table.  "You don't have to do that," he protested.  She pushed his shoulders down with her hands. "Fine, I'll let you scan me."  He stopped resisting and Dr. Young activated the scanner.  The scanning light crawled slowly up his body.  "What does it say?" Kensington asked when the scan finished.  "Say something."

"The results are…" Dr. Young stared at the control panel without moving. 

"The results are black," Pamuya finished.  She was looking at the monitor.  "You're infected too, Taylor.  I'm sorry to say it, but since coming to IBR, no it must have been longer, since coming to Utopia, all of us have been infected for quite some time."  She hung her head down and let out a big sigh.

"Damn it," Kensington cursed.  He stood up and was assaulted by a terrible dizzy spell.  The one to steady him from falling was Ryogo.  From the looks of it, his legs weren’t very steady either.  Putting his hand on a wall, Kensington managed to hold himself up.

"We're in trouble, eh?" Ryogo stated.

"You can say that again!"  Kensington agreed.

"If only we could find some of that orange serum."  Ryogo pressed is hand to his face.  Kensington noticed a thin trail of blood at his lips. 

"You're right," Kensington said enthusiastically.  "If they were handling the virus here, they should have some of the serum too.  It will at least help our symptoms." 

Pamuya and Dr. Young began to search the room.  Ryogo sank to the floor, not looking very good.  His breathing was ragged and lines of pain were etched on his face.  "It's no good," Dr. Young shouted.  "I can't find any here."

Pamuya had a few vials in her hand.  "This is it.  There are four doses."

"We'll need to take them immediately!" Kensington said.  "Dr. Young, please do it."

"At least we won't have to use needles," she said.  She put a cartridge of the serum in a hypospray.  She gave one does each to Ryogo and Kensington.  Kensington felt immediately better.

"Thanks, Maryann," said Ryogo, who was now able to stand.  He walked to one of the beds and lay on it.

"Should we give one to Medea?" Kensington wondered aloud. 

"We can't open the pod while she's undergoing the oxygen treatment," Dr. Young explained.  "It looks like her treatment is progressing normally.  As long as she's in there, I don't think her condition will get any worse.  As soon as it's done, we'll give her a shot." 

"We should probably give you one, too, Maryann," he suggested. 

"What?  No.  I don't think…." Dr. Young began stalling, quickly making excuses.  Then she began coughing. 

"Take a shot, now!" Kensington ordered.  She couldn't stop coughing.  Her arm holding the hypospray began to shake.  She began taking slow deep breaths and controlled her cough.  But her hands wouldn't go still.  "I'll give it to you." 

Dr. Young began to protest.  "I don't like getting shots!  I'm afraid of them!  They hurt!  I don't want it!" Kensington took the hypospray from her and Pamuya held her struggling form so that she couldn't move.  He stuck it against her skin and pressed the trigger.  "You're mangling me!  That’s the wrong spot!  Go slower!"  She protested madly.

They managed to inject her anyway.  Then they scanned her.  As suspected, she had also contracted the virus.  "I don't know how long we'll hold up with only one shot each," Kensington said, when they were done scanning her.  "Is there anything we can do once they stop working?" 

Dr. Young went to the terminal and accessed the computer.  "Leave me alone for a few minutes.  I need to concentrate."  After a moment, she said.  "The voice functions have been locked so I have to use the keyboard.  The communications system has been locked so we can't use it.  There is some data, however, being sent to the surface every once in a while.  If I can piggyback onto that, we might be able to send a message.  At least it's a better chance than we had at Utopia." 

"Show us what you can do, genius," he encouraged her.  Kensington examined the capsule pod.  Pamuya came and stood next to him as he looked at the monitor.  It listed Medea's condition as 'serious but stable'.  It said that her treatment would require four more hours.

"Let's get Ryogo into the other pod," she suggested.  They tried, but were unable to get the hatch on the third pod to seal.  They were forced to remove the dead researcher from his pod.  Pamuya cleaned and sterilized the pod. 

Kensington found Ryogo asleep on the bed and gently shook him awake.  "We're going to put you in one of the pods."  Ryogo slowly opened his eyes.  "Sorry to wake you."

"What about everyone else?" Ryogo asked, suddenly wide awake. 

"There's only one pod we can use, and you're in the worst shape.  So you get it."

"I can't abandon the rest of you," Ryogo protested.  "Forget it.  Once I get in, I can't get out for a long time.  I want to stay by Medea."  He rose and staggered over to Medea's pod.  "I'm not moving from here until we know that everyone's getting out."

Kensington considered forcing him into the pod.  "Don't you want to escape?  If you want to get out, you have to listen to me.  If you get any worse, getting into the pod might not save you.  We only have one dose of the serum left.   Wait, why is there one left?"  The question suddenly hit him.

"What are you talking about?" Pamuya mumbled, and turned her face away.  "We're saving it for Medea." 

"So, that's it," Dr. Young gasped.  Everyone's gaze rested on Pamuya.  "Pamuya, I haven't given you an injection."

"Yes?  So?"  She mumbled without looking at Dr. Young.

"We still have a shot left."  She got up from the terminal and spoke acidly.  "So, how are you feeling Pamuya?  You're not in pain?"  Kensington looked at Pamuya.  She hadn't shown any of the symptoms.   "Pamuya, I want you to get scanned right away!"

'Cure Virus-P-Carrier.'  The virus that had altered her genetic makeup had made Pamuya immune to the Deep Blue virus.  Her body had already made antibodies to the deadly virus.  Looking at the results of Pamuya's scan, Dr. Young nodded.  "I found it in the Utopia database, but I'd heard about it once before.  I would never have imagined I would see someone who was a carrier of that virus."

"I don't care if you hate me," Pamuya said.

"Hate you?" Dr. Young raised her voice.  "Why would I hate you?"

"Aren't you afraid then?  You're scared of me, aren't you?  You're probably thinking you don’t want anything more to do with me, right?"

"I wouldn't think that!" Dr. Young shouted.  She shook her head fiercely.  "Why would you say that?"

Pamuya bit her lips and said, "Because I can be here and I don't have to suffer.  It could be that I'm just watching all of you throw up blood, and eventually when you're all crawling on the floor, I'll be laughing at you. Because I'm just a cruel person like that."  Dr. Young couldn't look Pamuya in the eyes. 

"I don't think you're like that," Ryogo spoke.  "I don't think you're a bad person at all.  You saved Medea.  You risked your own life to save someone."

"So what?" Pamuya said icily. "To tell you the truth, I regret it now.  Medea is suffering from Deep Blue now, isn't she?  She's stuck in that pod and she's suffering.  If I hadn't had the stupid whim to do that, this wouldn't be happening right now."  Ryogo turned away from her.

"Pamuya."  Kensington took his turn.  "Stop it right now."  He ran over and grabbed her collar.  "Are you still talking garbage like that?  Saying things you don't really mean."

"I mean it," she whispered.

"Stop lying to yourself."

"It isn't a lie. I… It's the truth.  The only one Deep Blue isn't affecting is me."  He groaned and let go of her.  "So, Taylor, are you ready to accept the truth now?"  She pretended to smile at him.

"Yeah," he said.  "It's an indisputable fact.  I'll accept it.  But, you might just help us to get better."

"What?"  Her expression became serious. 

"I'm not a doctor, so I can't tell, but all the viruses that have cures… You're pretty smart.  You can figure it out."

"No," she said.  "No way."

"It's our only chance," he persisted.  "You're body is creating antibodies to the virus.  We'll use that.  If we can get those antibodies, there's a chance we can fight off the disease."

"It's too dangerous!" Her expression became more and more worked up.  "Do you have any idea how hard it is to make antivirus and vaccines that work?  There's almost no chance.  If we make even the slightest mistake, it could kill all of you."

"If we don't try," he said, "we're dead anyway."  She sucked in her breath.  Her expression turned to ice.  Dr. Young and Medea looked at Kensington.  "That's right," he repeated.  "If we don't try, we're dead anyway. If that's the case, I'd rather take the risk, no matter how small the chance of success."  He coughed and spat blood out on the floor.  "Damn it.  Not again.  A nosebleed and I'm coughing up blood.  What a terrible figure I make."  He wiped off his nose and chin on his sleeve.  "Aren't you going to laugh at me, Pamuya, for being such a fool?  Laugh."  He held out his hand toward her.  It was covered in blood. 

"Stop it," she said.  "Stay away from me.  Stop.  I don't want to…"  Shaking her head fiercely, she backed away. 

Dr. Young started to rise, but Kensington signaled her to stop.  "Listen," she said. "Taylor, Pamuya.  There is a simple lab in the back of the examination room.  There is a centrifuge and a machine for refining sera.  We might be able to use those to safely and quickly extract the Deep Blue antibodies.  Since this machine can scan for the virus, we can use it to scan for the antibodies and extract them."  Her voice remained low and calm. 

"Pamuya, please help," Kensington urged.  "I'm asking you."

"Stay away from me, Taylor.  Don't touch me."  He had backed her all the way to the bed.  "You want to live with this disease?  Once you've got the Cure Virus, you can't go back.  Do you have any idea what you're in for?"  She couldn't back away any further.  She searched for the bed behind her with her hand and it brushed across the only dose of serum left. 

"We don't know for sure that the Cure Virus will infect everyone," he said.  "Even you said that you were special, right?  Please, I'm begging you.  Let us take the gamble so that everyone can live."  He stood quietly in front of her.  His legs were unsteady.  His vision was hazy.  Despite that, he stepped forward strongly.  He looked into her eyes, trying to see what lay behind them. 

"You won't be a normal person anymore!" She cried out desperately.  "I don't want any of you to live with the pain that I have."  Large tears welled up in her eyes.  "I hate myself!" 

He hit her in the face.  She clenched her jaw tightly and glared at him.  He pounced on the dose of serum, stealing it from her hand.  He took it and smashed it into pieces on the floor of the examination room.  It splintered into powdery fragments. 

"What did you do?"

"There's no other way," he said calmly.  "Now we have only one option open to us."

"You idiot, do you know what you've done?  You didn't have to do that.  You know I can't fight you."  With her lips trembling and her shoulders shaking, Pamuya sank down onto the bed.

"I know."

"Jerk!" she screamed at him.  "Animal!  You're a coward!"  She nestled close to him and began to cry.

"I don't care what you say," he told her, wrapping her in his arms.  "I don't care how much you curse me."

"You fool, you fool," she sobbed. "If you mess this up, I will never forgive you, Taylor."

"It's okay," he said.  "It's going to be okay.  I promise you.  We're all going to get out of this."  She broke down completely, no longer able to speak.  Her voice rose in a large wail and she cried like a child.  Finally able to throw away everything that was holding her back, she cried.

Dr. Young turned on the scanner.  The refining machine whirred to life.  Pamuya extended her arm.  Dr. Young took it gently and withdrew some blood.  The whole time, Pamuya held tightly on to Kensington.  She continued to cry, letting out occasional sobs.

Kensington's consciousness started to fade.  He lost all sense of time.  It was hard to tell if it was reality or a dream.  "It's fine now," a voice said.  He recognized it as Dr. Young.  "I think it worked.  I've prepared enough for all of us.  It's up to you, Pamuya." Dr. Young's voice had been growing fainter as she spoke until it finally faded completely away.

"If you don't wake up from this," he heard Pamuya say, "I'll never forgive you. Not as long as I live."

Another voice, Ryogo's, came to him.  "Pamuya, where are you going?"

"Well, I, I left a friend of mine upstairs.  I've got to go get him.  My best friend.  Djungarian Hamster.  His name is Charming. "

"Charming?"

"See you."

"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Andromeda

  • Queen of Amber
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 319
  • Gender: Female
  • Absolute Destiny!
    • Andromeda's Invasion
Re: The Promise
« Reply #70 on: January 06, 2009, 01:15:50 am »
You've done a really excellent job of building up tension.  Now post the next part!
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #71 on: January 06, 2009, 02:30:17 am »
CHAPTER 17: SURVIVORS

Okay, here you go.  Two more chapters all at once.


**********

Kensington awoke from his stupor.  A stale cold feeling.  He realized he had been lying on the floor.  He slowly raised his body.  He tried opening and closing his fists.  Strange.  The movement left him with an uncomfortable sensation, like it wasn't his own.  He shook his head.  He tried slapping his cheeks.  He breathed in the cold air and breathed out.  Strange.  The inside of his head stayed dull and murky.  He dragged himself to consciousness, forcefully reeling himself back to clarity. 

Putting his hands on the floor, he pushed up his heavy, aching body.  His feet faltered, but somehow he managed to stand.  He looked around the examination room.  He saw several empty cartridges scattered on the floor.  Ryogo was slumped against Medea's pod.  He looked disturbingly bad. Pamuya was nowhere to be seen.  He wondered where she had gone to.  Dr. Young was half-slumped over the terminal console, snoring away.  She looked like she was in some pain, and was perspiring in her sleep.  Her hand was pressed against the panel as if she had been in the middle of typing.  On the monitor, repeated strands of letters without meaning were lined up. 

"What the?"  An electronic crackle came from one of the speakers.   Kensington quickly inserted his voice converter in his ear.  The problem wasn't with the converter. 

"Come in," a familiar voice said.  It was his own communication's officer. "Please respond.  This is the Federation Starship Outrider.  We have a team on the island." 

He hurried to the console, moving Dr. Young's hand away from the keyboard.  He pushed the communicator system's button.  "Hello?  This is Captain Kensington."

"I repeat," the voice said, "This is the Federation Starship Outrider.  We have a team on the island.  Can you hear me?"

"Yes!  Loud and clear!" Kensington shouted excitedly.

Voices spilled from the other end.  "Are there any other survivors down there?"  "I can't believe it!" "That's amazing."  Those were the same things Kensington wanted to say.  It appeared that Dr. Young had somehow been able to restore communications.

"We're sending a rescue team.  Is there a place to dock?"

"There's a pool for a submarine," Kensington replied. "It should be fine."

"How many other survivors are there?  Where are they located?"

"In the medical facility, there are five… no six."

"Six.  I understand.  A salvage vessel is on the way.  When it arrives, they will get you out of there."

"How long until it arrives?" Kensington asked.

"About one hour," he was told after a pause.

That would be enough time for Medea to be allowed out of the pod, he thought.  "We have a deadly virus down here," Kensington warned.  "Make sure everyone wears sealed clothing."

"We're aware of the virus from those workers who reached the surface.  Precautions have been taken.  Listen Captain, if anything goes wrong, our sensors have detected there is a small submarine in the facility.  You may have to use it to rescue yourselves."

"What could go wrong?" he asked.  "What do you mean?"

"The facility above you could collapse at any time.  If any part of it implodes, it could create a chain reaction.  Heavy pieces are likely to crash down on the facility you are in.  Of course, we hope to get there before that happens.  Hang on just a little longer."  With a crackle, the communications suddenly cut out. 

"Hello, hello?" he called out, but there was no answer. 

With no ability to restore communications, he started looking for what he could find about a submarine being part of the IBR facility.  Searching the computer system he found it and had it display the information on the monitor.  The submarine was an electric boat in a separate, sealed section of the facility.  It was a neutral buoyancy submarine for saturation diving.  Most importantly, it could be called to the pool by a remote control located there.  If no help arrived before Utopia collapsed, they would have to use it.

"Now all I have to do is get Pamuya and Heaven over here," he said to the room. Heaven, how was he going to get Heaven down there?  He was overcome by disquiet.  A low metallic crash reverberated through the installation.  This time, he was sure the sound came from above.  A beeping noise came from the terminal and the screen changed.  'Warning: Utopia hull breach:  Flooding.'

Kensington ran out into the corridor.  It was slight, but the floor was trembling.  A sudden wave of dizziness returned.  Losing his balanced, he crashed into a wall.  It seemed as if his recovery was incomplete.  In truth, he didn't know if the antibodies were working or not.  Squeezing out all the strength he could muster, he staggered toward the lift.  As soon as its door opened, he flew into the lift.  It headed up, interminably slow in counting the change in depth. 

It stopped and he hurried into the pressurization chamber.  Its doors closed automatically.  He pressed repeatedly on the intercom button.  "Heaven.  Heaven!"

"Taylor?  What are you doing?"  Her voice was thick with worry.

He realized how much he missed that voice.  "Hey, it's been a while." She appeared outside the window and he waved to her. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked.  "I came back.  What's the damage?"

"There's flooding on the second level.  The warehouse has been breached and cracks are forming in the main elevator shaft.  The situation is serious.  There is over six inches of water in all of the corridors."

"What about Pamuya?"

"She's in the infirmary, but is trapped there."

"Heaven, what about the door?"

"The electronic lock has been released," she said, "but it won't open because of the water pressure.  I will start the decompression cycle.  I will complete it as soon as possible, but that will be twelve hours."

"We don't have that long!"

"You will get decompression sickness."

"I don't care," he replied.  "Open the door, now."

"I can't do that."

"If you don't, Pamuya will die."

"If we do, the nitrogen in your blood vessels will dissolve forming blood clots.  In the worst case, you might die."

"I don't care.  You have to open the door now."

"I can't."

He searched the chamber until he found an emergency access lever and opened the door himself.  There was a horrible noise as if all the air inside the chamber had exploded.  His body was thrown from the chamber and crashed heavily against the wall.  His lungs filled with pain, even though he exhaled as strongly as possible.  A terrible exhaustion followed.  His eyes were painfully swollen and his muscles began to spasm.  He was unable to move.

He knew that he could live for a short time, even if thrown into space.  Fish brought up from the depths die quickly, however, because the pressure differences caused their organs to burst.  He wondered whether he was going to be a person in space or a fish from the depths.

"Your voice converter!" Heaven exclaimed.  He was suddenly aware of the splitting pain in both ears.  The voice converters were propelled forcefully from his ears.  Kensington clapped his hands on both of his ears.  Heaven's panicked voice was no longer intelligible.  Kensington lay helpless on the floor, trying to breathe. 

A few minutes passed.  Looking around, he noticed his voice converters had been split in half.  He got up weakly.  Heaven directed him to a drawer filled with voice converters and he crammed a pair into his ears.  "Taylor, are you okay?" she asked, still shouting.  Her expression was pained by worry.

"I'm still alive," was all he could muster, thankful that his eardrums hadn't burst.  Once he could, he prepared himself to rescue Pamuya.

Heaven told him, "I will stay here and do what I can to keep the partitions from falling.  Promise me that you will come back here with Pamuya."

Even though he was going, he wasn't sure how he would rescue her.  According to the map, there was no way to reach the infirmary through the flooded areas.  He would have to try anyway.

The area he needed to cross was filled with water, but the water was still.  The emergency doors had closed and trapped it.  In that situation, he thought he would be able to make it.  He entered the emergency corridor beneath the infirmary.  He had been back and forth through the corridor so many times it was easy to remember where to go without light.  He propelled himself forward through the dark water-filled corridor.  He made it to the elevator shaft leading down from the infirmary to the corridor and swam up through it to climb up into the infirmary.  "Pamuya?"

She was sitting in a corner of the room, hugging her knees to herself.  At her feet was the slightly wet, furry figure of Charming.  "Taylor?  What?  Why?"  She looked at him with eyes wide open. 

"What are you so worked up about?" he asked.  "I came back for you.  I'm a bit late, but…" He scratched his nose. 

"You idiot.  What are you doing here? Do you want to die?"  One after another, large tears started falling from her eyes.

"Listen," he said, laughing as he spoke, "I came back for something I forgot."

"Something you forgot?"  Picking up Charming in her hands, she stood up.

"Yeah.  Left it here.  Silly me.  My irreplaceable, more important to me than anything else, friend."   

"How did you get here?"  She looked at him as though she still couldn’t believe he was actually there.

"I'm a good swimmer.  I'm pretty sure I told you about swimming underwater down and back in a pool once.  I kicked off the wall coming back, but still…"  He made pretend swimming gestures.  "I'm pretty sure I just beat my own record.  I don't suppose you remember the furthest I've swum underwater."

"103 feet?" she answered, her expression beginning to break down.

"And you think I'd die in a place like this?  I still haven't gotten enough abuse from you yet.  I want to hear what you've got to say, from here on out."

She wailed. 

"I came for you, Pamuya."

"Taylor."  They ran to one another.  Reaching out their hands they came together.  He gently wiped away the teardrops around her mouth with his lips.  In the center of the infirmary they held each other close, embracing firmly.  Charming snorted and looked at them.

"Let's go back," he said, "together."  She lifted Charming and hid him inside the chest of her clothing.  With no time to waste, afraid the place would collapse in on itself at any moment, they hurried back through the drowned corridor. 

Despite that, Kensington wasn't in a rush.  He knew, somehow, they would make it.  No matter what obstacles came up, he wouldn't quit or give up now. Once into the dry areas, they flew down the stairs and back to where Heaven was waiting for them.

"I've already prepared the decompression chamber for you," she said. "Hurry and get inside."

Panting, they raced across the final distance and hurried inside the chamber.  Pamuya collapsed in a chair and Kensington wondered if he would ever move again.  "Heaven, you're coming too."  When she stood still, he asked.  "You can't come, no matter what?"  The door separating them shut automatically.  The compression started.  Heaven stood silently outside the chamber.  Kensington reached for the lever to open the door. Behind Heaven, he could see water flowing into the control room.   A fog covered Heaven.  She vanished without saying a word. 

They watched the room slowly fill with water.  An hour later, it was completely flooded.  With the compression finished, they exited the chamber and transferred to the lift and went down to IBR.  The lights came on as soon as they entered.  "It's quiet," Pamuya observed. 

Not knowing how advanced the flooding above them was, they looked at the pool.  Its surface hardly rippled.  "The time!" Kensington suddenly realized how long it had been.  "We're past the scheduled time."  When she looked at him in confusion, he said, "There's a rescue team on the way.  The Outrider finally found us.  Dr. Young was able to open up a communications line and we were able to communicate with the ship."

They went to the examination room.  It was dark when they entered and the automatic lights came on.  "They aren't here," Pamuya said, alarmed.  "Nobody's here."  She ran to the capsule pods.  Medea's pod was open. 

"They're all gone, even the dead researcher," Kensington agreed.

"Where?" she asked, starting to panic.

"I'm  sure the rescue team found them."

With perfect timing, the speaker activated.  "Hello?" a familiar voice said.  "This is the USS Outrider.  Please respond."

Pamuya joined him at the monitor and he pushed the talk button.   "This is Captain Kensington," he quickly replied.

"Thank God!  Where were you? The rescue team said they couldn't find you.  You had us worried there."

"Sorry.  I had to step out for a bit."

"We were able to rescue the other three people down there and they are being cared for now."

Kensington sighed with relief.  "Is everyone okay?"

There was a pause.  "We can't say for sure.  Their conditions are serious.  We'll bring them up to sickbay as soon as the submersible reaches the surface."

"Okay," Kensington said. 

"How many of you are there?"

"Just two," he said, "including me.  The other person didn't make it."

"We'll send the team back as soon as we recover the others.  If the facility starts to break up, we won't be able to approach it."

"I can call the remote vessel," Kensington said. 

"Considering the state of the facility above you, that may be the best idea.   We'll do the best we can to hurry in the meantime."    The communication ended.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pamuya asked sharply.

"They rescued the others and left without us.  They might have died if they had waited for us and all of this would have been for nothing."

She frowned, but said, "Yes.  You're right."  The color in Pamuya's face returned to normal as her sense of panic faded.

"We might as well take a nap while waiting for the next bus," Kensington suggested.  When she didn't react, he added, "We can call a cab if you think the bus is going to be late."

"Bus, taxi?  What are you talking about?"

"There's a remote control submarine we can call from the pool room," he explained.  "Our very own private taxi out of IBR should come from a different part of the facility.  I'm just glad they got everyone else out."  He sighed.  The adrenaline that had kept him going earlier suddenly ran out.  "I'm just so glad."  His legs gave out and his head struck the hard surface of the floor. Pamuya hurried to his side and sat down next to him, placing his head in her lap. 

A soft warmness surrounded him.  Light.  He felt that he had overcome an immense distance.  The end of the darkness.  A soft, white light surrounded him.  There was nothing else for him to look at.  There was nothing below him, nothing there to support him.  He was at peace.  He was floating steadfastly.  He was swaying freely in the center of gently drifting water.  He could hear something faintly, the first sound he had heard in his life.  It was the sound of a heart beating.  He was surrounded by the gentle sound of a beating heart.  There was no greater feeling of peace. 

He knew he would have to leave it at some point.  Soon he would have to let go of that fragile bond.  But he wasn't sad.  If that time had to come, darkness would clear again and out it would come. A new world, where he would resolve to be reborn.

"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline kadh2000

  • Admiral, of course
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 356
  • Gender: Male
    • Kadh's Empire
Re: The Promise
« Reply #72 on: January 06, 2009, 02:37:48 am »
CHAPTER 18: THE PROMISE

Finally, the chapter with the title for the story.  Well, this is the end of book one of the Utopia Trilogy.  I'll have the second draft up as soon as it is done.

******************

"Hello."  He was lying down in a bed.  Right next to him, Pamuya was staring at him.  She was sitting next to the bed, her eyes level with his.  They stared at each other eye-to-eye. 

"What time is it?" 

"Do you want me to go check?" she asked. 

He thought about it.  "No.  It's okay.  Just stay here with me."

"Okay."  There were tears in her eyes.  "How do you feel?"

"That's a dumb question."

"Just tell me.  How are you feeling?" She held his hand softly.  The feel of her skin pulled him in.

"I don't feel so good," he murmured.  "My body feels tired all over.  It could be worse, I guess."  He lifted his free hand and tried opening and closing it in front of his face.  The movements were still sluggish.

She opened her glossy lips and murmured, "Does your cut hurt?  You fell and I tried to catch you, but I didn't get there in time.  You split your forehead, Taylor."  He could see the tip of her red tongue.  "Don't you remember?"

He looked slowly around the room.  The ceiling, the sheets, the empty medicine cartridges.  "I remember. I remember.  I…" He touched his forehead lightly.  The gash must have been split open wide.  There were stitches there now.  "No big deal.  They'll take care of it back on the ship.  It'll be fine in no time."

"But, I'm so sorry," she said. 

"Why are you apologizing?  It isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault.  So don't worry about it."  He patted her on the head.  He was alive.  Even though he was banged up pretty good, he was alive.

He looked around the room once more.  There was nobody else there.  Just the two of them and the silence.  It was almost too quiet to believe.  "Where's the bus?"

"I don't think it's coming," she said.

"How about the taxi?"

"I've already sent for it.  It will take one hour to arrive."

"Communications?"

"We haven't had any new ones."

He could see the monitor.  Nothing had changed.  "I guess that leaves us some time to relax until the taxi gets here.  Won't do us any good getting worked up about it."  Even if he had wanted to, he didn't think his body was up to doing anything.  He was still exhausted.

He noticed something and lifted his face closer to Pamuya. 

"What is it, Taylor?"

He pressed himself against her, brought himself close to her face.  Her cheeks, still puffy from crying, flushed red.  "I'm hungry," he whispered.  I feel like I could eat just about anything."

"Really?"

"Guess what, Pamuya?"  Her face became redder and redder.  "There's just the most amazing smell coming from you."

Her eyebrows arched as if she were annoyed.  "You're not hiding any food are you?"  He reached out for her chest. 

She covered herself with her arms.  "You aren't going to eat Charming are you?  You can't.  I won't let you."

Refusing to be distracted, he said, "As if I would, stupid."

"Don't call me stupid," she said.  "You're stupid."  Her expression returned to normal from one of alarm.  She undid a few buttons and let the hamster out of her blouse.  "I'm sorry for keeping you in there the whole time, Charming," she said. "It's okay.  You can go play now." 

Charming sniffed the air as he rode in the palm of her hand.  Then he jumped to the floor and ran into a corner of the room.  Kensington watched the whole time. "Ah, Taylor, " she said, redoing her buttons, "were you watching that?"

"What?" he said innocently.

"What do you mean 'what'?  When I was…"  She stopped.  "Do you want to see more?"

"More what?"

"Forget it.  You jerk." 

A low vibrating sound shot across the room.  The bed shook slightly.  "It's okay," she said after looking up for a second.  She quickly returned her gaze to him.  "Don't worry, alright?  We're okay for now, I think.  Yes.  We'll be fine.  I know it.  I don't have any proof, but…"  She stopped and laughed at herself.  "I'm even starting to talk like you now.  There must be something wrong with me."

With a groan, he sat up quickly and grabbed hard onto her hand.  "What is it?" she asked sharply.

"I know, Pamuya.  This is incredible!"

"What are you talking about?"  Flustered, her cheeks changed color in her confusion. 

"I've made a major discovery!"  He brought her hand close to him so that her face was right next to his.  "I know where that great smell is coming from!  It is you!  You're what smells so great.  What a sweet smell.  Let me have just one bite."

"What are you doing?  Stop it.  Let go of me. Ow!  You idiot!  Cut it out."  Then she slapped him.

"Did you really have to hit me?" he asked.  "I'm already injured."

"Well, you should act injured and lie there quietly, jerk.  What were you thinking, biting my finger like that?"  His teeth had left an imprint on her finger. 

"I'm still hungry, but I feel a lot better.  Thank you."  He didn't think he could sit up, so he lay in the bed. 

"I can't believe you did that."  The tears that had dried up were in her eyes again.

Kensington found himself laughing at the situation.  "I am a man of insatiable desires!  When I get hungry I stuff my face.  When I get sleepy, I sleep like a bear.  Give me a chance and I'll be thinking about sex.  Actually, it's all I think about.  I'm beyond salvation."

"Yeah," she nodded.  "You're an idiot is what you are."  She tried to smile back at him.  Her voice dried up and tears began to fall. 

"I'm such an idiot," he said.  "You should laugh at a fool like me."

"Yeah, you are an idiot."  Pamuya laughed.  "You are the world's biggest idiot. I can't believe how stupid you are.  And it never stops.  How did you ever get to be so dumb?"  She was smiling now, but the tears didn’t stop falling. 

"No reason, I guess.  I just try to live all out.  Because I don't want to die."

Really?  That's it?"  Her tears continued to fall. 

"There were some things that I was taking too lightly," he admitted.  "There are people who go on living even when they want to die and people that die who want to keep on living.  I had never thought that was how things were.  It was pretty naïve of me.  Until I came to Utopia. 

"But then I met you and the way I thought about things changed.  The world isn't always filled with good things."

"Yeah," she nodded.

He calmly wiped away her tears.  "But, I don't want you to think that living is something to be embarrassed about, or something you hate.  As long as you are alive, it's okay to live.  I believe there are good things waiting for you.  Not just that, but being alive is a good thing in itself.  In that way, my thinking hasn't changed."

"Yeah," she nodded.  They held each other's hands. 

"I don't know how to say it, but…" He looked toward the heavens he couldn't see. He didn't know if there was something up above.  He wasn't sure it even mattered.  All he had to do was accept it. "The reason we keep living… What does it mean to die?  Does everything really end when we die? Until you can stare, really stare, reality in the face, you have to wait.  Put it on hold.  It isn't time for me to die yet.  I can't die yet.  You can't either.  Neither can any of the rest of us.  Until that time comes, all of us should live. "

"Yeah."  She nodded.  Her expression was thoughtful, as if maybe she finally did understand. 

He looked into her eyes.  He was trying to see if there was any light there.  He wanted to get as close as he could and see.  "Hey, you're finger's bleeding."

"Well you bit me."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, that is SO."

"I'm sorry." His face was close enough to hers that their noses touched.  Closer.  Closer still.  "Ah," he sighed.

"Now what?"

"You've got blood on your lips.  That's not my fault."

"Seriously?  Blood?  Maybe you're right.  When the building shook earlier, I bit my lip."

"It must be painful."

"Well, if it hurts, it must be your fault Taylor."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you're right."

"How are you going to make up for it?"  She pressed her lips tightly on his.  He could smell her scent.  He could taste her blood.  Taste her tears.  She bit down on his lower lip and his blood started to flow.  They were pressed together as tightly as they could be, embracing each other with everything they had.

Their bodies came together, became one.  He felt her breathing. He felt the beating of her heart.  He felt the warmth of her body.  The scent of her.  A musky smell, enough to make him dizzy.  It was sweet, such a sweet smell."

"Taylor," she said.  "Get up.  The taxi's here."  She was dressed already.

"Oh yeah," he murmured, coming back to wakefulness.  He jumped out of the bed and stood up. He loosened his arms and shoulders.  He felt pretty good.  She was looking at him. He took a deep breath and slipped his clothes on.  He felt much better. 

"Charming, Charming, come here," she called to the hamster.  "We've got to go now."  Pamuya scooped up Charming, who had been running around on the floor, and held him up to her chest.  She stooped down and let out a cry of alarm.  "Under the bed."

Kensington bent down and looked under the bed.  Something was lying there.  He reached out and pulled it out so they could see it.  It was a computer disk.  Unconsciously, he stuck the disk in a pocket. 

With a roaring sound, the whole room suddenly shook violently.  "Five minutes until implosion," a voice announced. 

"We've got to hurry," Pamuya said. 

"Why do they always have to wait until it's almost too late," Kensington complained.  "Five minutes?  For crying out loud, they could have given us more warning."

Pamuya sighed.  She shrugged her shoulders exaggeratedly and stared at him.  She was smiling.  "You’ve just got to accept reality.  You could learn something from me."

"Listen to yourself," he laughed.  "Telling jokes at a time like this is my shtick."

She laughed back at him.  "I guess you're right.  But we should be okay if we keep moving."  A smile floated to her lips and she held out her hand to him.

"Of course."  He took her hand firmly.  They entered the corridor and headed toward the pool. 

The shaking and rumbling continued.  "Four minutes until implosion," the voice announced.  Kensington could hear the sound of water rushing somewhere and striking against a watertight door.  Ominous metallic sounds rang from above.  They ran without stopping.

The pool looked like it would overflow at any minute.  On top of the pool, their mini-sub was waiting for them.  "At least something's going right," he shouted excitedly.  "The taxi's even waiting for us."

"Of course," Pamuya said smugly.  "It is a taxi.  They just don't leave us good-tipping customers behind."

He smiled.  "You're right.  Oh no!"

"What is it?" she asked in alarm.

"I don't have any money."

"Idiot.  I'll pay."

"Three minutes until implosion," the voice announced. 

They scrambled up the side of the sub, opened the hatch and jumped down inside.  The controls were simple.  The push of a button closed the upper hatch.  The submarine slipped out of the pool and into the middle of the ocean.  The currents quickly pushed them away from the facility, away from the sinking Utopia. 

Paradise, their home for seven days, was warping and folding in on itself like some crumpled old newspaper.  It scattered as it collapsed, like some child's blocks that hadn't been stacked properly.  Letting out its final breath of bubbles, it disappeared to the bottom of the sea.

They were moving up.  The small fragile egg they were in floated quietly toward the surface. "What do we do from here?" Pamuya asked in a quiet voice.

"There's so much I want to do," he said, placing the disk on the seat next to him.  "First, I'm thinking about where to start.  What about you?  What do you want to do?" She didn't answer.  "What, you didn’t like the question?"

"No, it's not that," she said quickly.  "Can I have a moment to think about it? 

"Sure," he said gently. 

Then something banged outside the submarine.  The operating console made a funny noise.  A display screen behind Pamuya came to life.  "What does it say?" she asked.

"Turn around and look."

"No," she whispered faintly.  "I don't want to see it.  I've got a really bad feeling about this."

With no other choice, he looked at the monitor.  "It says, 'low battery'."  The lights on the sub went out.  The monitor went dark.  All of the power went out.  The only thing still working was an analog pressure gauge.  'Depth - 189 feet, Internal Pressure - 12.5 atmospheres.'  The submarine was set to saturation diving specifications.  The pressure on the inside was higher than the pressure on the outside.

"Taylor?"

"It's okay," he said.  "We're going to be fine.  Stop looking as if you're going to cry."  'Depth – 192 feet.' Slowly, very slowly, the submarine began sinking. 'Residual Air Pressure – 0; Ballast tank – unable to drain.'  "Wonderful, we hitched a ride on a junker.  This cab always seems to stall on these country roads.  I'm terribly sorry, ma'am."

'Depth – 195 feet.'

Kensington looked at the bottom hatch. It was set up as an airlock. "Do you think we'd start rising again if we let out some of the high pressure gas?"

"No," she said.  "We wouldn't go straight up and our momentum would be limited.  Not to mention that we'll start flooding because we don't have any spare compressed air.  Plus we don't have enough buoyancy in the main fuselage.  We've got to get rid of ballast."

'Depth – 198 feet.'

"The valve to release the ballast is electronically controlled, but now we're…" Her voice started to rise.

"Stay calm," he admonished.  "Judging by how slow we're sinking, we only have to lighten the load by a little bit.  Maybe a hundred pounds or so.  Then we'll be fine.  Maybe we can pull out a few of the machines in here." He looked at the machinery.  "It will be impossible without tools and we don't have any."

"So, that's it then," she whispered.  She bit her lip and looked down.

"Yeah," he admitted.  "We're screwed."

'Depth -201 feet.'

"Looks like we celebrated too soon," she said.  Her shoulders shook from disappointment and she laughed without conviction.  "So stupid.  I'm so stupid."

In the dark he moved to the lower hatch and pulled on the lever for the inner door.  She audibly sucked in her breath.  "Taylor, what are you doing?"

"Can't you tell by looking? I'm opening the hatch."

"That's why I'm asking," she shouted anxiously.  "What are you doing?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

'Depth – 204 feet.'

"Stop!  What are you planning to do?"  Pamuya grabbed his arm. 

"Don't stop me," he urged.  He threw off her arm and raised the glass hatch.  The airlock was just large enough for one person.  "Please don't touch me.  Don't touch me."

"No!" she screamed.  "I won't let you."  She grabbed his arm firmly as the hatch started closing.  "I don't care if I die, I'm not letting go."

'Depth – 207 feet.'

"You really are selfish," he said.  "Do you know what the Archimedes Principle is?"  Surprised, for a moment her grip relaxed.  He tore himself forcefully out of her grasp.  He quickly slipped into the back of the airlock.  It was surprisingly easy to close the hatch from the inside. He slammed the latch closed.

'Depth – 210 feet.'

Pamuya was stunned.  Her eyes were opened as wide as they could go and she stared at him from the other side of the glass.  "Taylor! What are you doing?  Open it up!  Get out of there!"  She pounded wildly on the reinforced glass.  She tried to pull up the lever but was unable to move it.

"Pamuya… what are you saying?" he asked calmly.

"You stupid idiot!  Open it up this instant! What are you thinking?"  Tears started falling from her wide open eyes.  Drops fell in a constant stream.  Her fist pounded against the glass.  It began to crack as she hit it.

'Depth – 213 feet.'

"I thought you knew about Archimedes' Principle.  You are the one who taught me about it.  I guess you didn't."  He laughed with an effort.

"This isn't funny!  Stop joking!  This isn't about that!  You fool Taylor.  You idiot!"  She sobbed as she screamed.

"Yeah, I'm an idiot," he agreed.  "The biggest one there is.  You didn't know that, Pamuya?"

'Depth – 216 feet'.

The glass refused to break under her pounding.  It made him feel good to know it would hold.  "We've got to make sure this little egg stays afloat."  He put his hand on the outer hatch and turned the handle.

"Taylor?"  She stopped hitting the glass.  "No.  Do you really want to die?"  The words came slowly as if she were having a hard time speaking. 

"Don't worry," he said.  He spoke firmly, looking right at her.  I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid."

'Depth – 219 feet.'

He kept turning the handle with his other hand. 

"Please, don't leave me.  Don't leave me all by myself."

"There you go, always worrying."  He forced a smile.  "I keep telling you, it's going to be okay, right?"

"Yes."

"You want to live, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes."

"So live!  As long as you're alive, live," he said.  Then he made her a promise.  "Don't worry.  I'm not going to die."

'Depth – 222 feet.'

The hatch on the bottom of the submarine opened.  The air which, was compressed in the airlock, was jettisoned into the ocean.  His body shot out into the water.  He could no longer hear her voice.  He could just make out her blurry outline.  Pamuya's face was covered with tears.  Her face was broken with sadness.  Her image refracted through the water.

He grabbed a rail on the outside the submarine and steadied himself.  He closed the outer hatch.  He couldn't see her any more.  Wouldn't be able to see her again.  He let go of the rail and kicked away from the sub.  Released from its support, his body went flying into a jet black ocean filled with sparkling fragments of light. 

His consciousness was floating.  His will clung steadfastly to his body.  It was still there, even if it was threatening to turn to dust.  Even if it was threatening to be torn apart.  "Live as long as you are alive," he wished her. 

It's what he wanted for himself.  Maybe it was stubbornness.  He was sinking to the bottom of the ocean.  His field of vision filled with white bubbles heading upward.  He closed his eyes. That's when he realized for the first time, he was there.  'I'm here, I'm here.'  His body dissolved in the ocean.

In the control room of Utopia, a single panel remained active.  Life Readings: 1.



"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Andromeda

  • Queen of Amber
  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 319
  • Gender: Female
  • Absolute Destiny!
    • Andromeda's Invasion
Re: The Promise
« Reply #73 on: January 07, 2009, 12:42:58 am »
I didn't expect a tragic ending.  Wow.  Now I am impressed.

The writing style of the last chapter or two, and of the sex scene in the earlier chapter, bug me a little.  I can't say why, but it doesn't feel quite right.  Yeah, it's an odd style for you, but that's not it. 

Mostly, though, I really like it.

! Got it.  It's too Japanese.  If you get my meaning.  I've been in Japan a lot this past year and it feels like you've been writing like a Japanese writer would... except your english is too good.
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline Hstaphath_XC

  • The Official Bard of XenoCorp
  • XenoCorp® Member
  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 507
  • Gender: Male
  • Captain, XC Hydran Squadron
    • The XC Bard's Corner
Re: The Promise
« Reply #74 on: January 09, 2009, 01:11:41 pm »
Wow... this definitely took a left turn and ended up completely different than what I would have suspected.  Kudos for that!!!

I think Rommie was right on with her comment about this feeling very Japanese influenced.  The noble tragic way it ended in particular.

I very much look forward to reading your second draft!  (not to mention the next two books of the Utopia trilogy)
Hilaritas sapientiae et bonae vitae proles.

Offline CaptJosh

  • Lt.
  • *
  • Posts: 775
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Promise
« Reply #75 on: January 12, 2009, 11:34:54 am »
Interesting ending. Not sure how to comment on the story as a whole, but you said it had been majorly revised already anyway. I think I'll comment once the revised story is in place, with one exception.

You had Heaven describe decompression sickness incorrectly. When someone goes down to great depths, THAT'S when the gas dissolves in their blood stream and other tissues. If they suddenly go to lower pressure, it starts to bubble out and do damage. This is what causes what is colloquially known as "the bends."
CaptJosh

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.