Topic: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"  (Read 4255 times)

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Offline James Smith

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Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« on: August 03, 2007, 04:25:49 pm »
My little corner of the Trek universe has featured a running battle between my main character (Captain, previously Commander, James Smith) and a thoroughly detestable creature named Robert Metcalf. The conflict was referred to in the first story I wrote in this universe - "Return Of The ISC" - with Metcalf popping up as an ISC ally, and the character surfaced again during "Silent Enemy". The events that sparked off the state of war between the two men are talked about throughout these stories, but not in any great detail. A story called "Vengeance" will take care of that.

"Vengeance" has been written and rewritten so much now that I'm absolutely determined to see it make an appearance on here in early '08. I meant to have it on here long before now (before I'd started posting the current fic, "Return Of The Andromedans") as it would make rather more sense like that. Trouble is, I'm still not happy with most of it! That said, I'm offering up a bit right now as it ties in quite nicely with a recent posted chunk of "ROTA". To set the scene - we're on the old Saber class Tigermoth. Harriman is captain, Smithy is chief engineer, and Lisa has not been on board very long (she joins at the start of the story).

Oh, and Metcalf is making a bid for Galactic Domination™.

Action!

*************
USS Tigermoth
23rd November 2377
1532hrs EST
Engine Room


Lisa skidded to a halt entering the room, staring at the damage. This was bad. Much worse than any simulation she'd seen in the HoloSims at the Academy. No ship could function with this level of damage, could it?

Smithy rubbed the sweat from his face, barely looking up from his work. "'Ey up, kid. Can you find a computer terminal that works, and has access to the main computer core? We need a spot of re-programming done. Fast."

She glanced around. Console 2. Perfect. She dashed over, brushing the debris off the panel and seat before sitting. "What do you need, sir?"

"Automatic control over warp core functions needs restoring. We're flying on manual right now, and I need Orlatrel back for another job." Smithy slammed the panel shut that he'd been working in and swiftly made his way over the shuddering, pitching deck. "Orlatrel, you still with me?"

"I'm not going anywhere." The reply was muffled. Lisa figured he must be in the alcove between decks in the room, controlling the warp core from the so-called 'last resort panel'. Things were bad.

"Alright. Keep at it, you're doing great. Wilson, Sikar....don't just sit there like bumps on logs, get yourselves up and doing something! I realise your parents are in the Admiralty but that don't mean a damned thing in combat! Move!"

The ship took a hard pitch over again, throwing many people to the deck. Smithy glanced around. "Bloody inertial dampers, I keep telling Starfleet we need more than one backup! Lisa, when you're done with the warp core we could use the IDF building up. You know where the power tap is?"

"I think so. But sir, I've never-"

"That's alright, Orlatrel's never manually operated a warp core and he's doing a fine job. You will too."

Lisa struggled to breath as smoke began to fill the room. Everyone was choking. This was getting too much. She hadn't been trained for this, she was just a computer programmer! A young one at that. I shouldn't even be out here. It's too soon. I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready....

The computer suddenly chimed up. "Warp core functions set to automatic. Matter/Antimatter controls to computer control."

"Well done kiddo! Orlatrel, haul yourself out of that alcove and get over to the shield control power relay!"

Lisa stared at the board for a half second. She'd done it. Okay, so maybe I'm not that useless. She got up and staggered across the shaking room to the junction box that sent power to the Inertial Dampening Field. Opening the panel rewarded her with a quick shower of sparks, which she somehow managed to prevent herself from flinching at. "Sir, I might need a hand here! It looks like some of the control boards are pretty much gone!"

"Which?" Smithy poked his head out of a Jeffries Tube - when had he gotten in there? Lisa couldn't keep up. All the experienced hands in the room were zipping around at warp speed compared with the younger people, newer to this 'game'.

"Looks like 1A, 2A and 5D, sir!"

"That's fine, just bypass them and ignore the safety alarm. It'll hold for now." Smithy disappeared back in the tube. Lisa set to work.

Bypass the cards? I know this is a desperate situation, but there has to be a better way than that? Lisa spent a few seconds examining the rest of the setup, before shaking her head and doing what Smithy had said. How could he have known that the only way to sort this was to simply bypass half the control system? Just how many times has he been on a ship this badly damaged anyway?

Smithy jumped out of the Tube and tapped his comm badge. "Bridge! Bridge, anyone there?"

"Smithy! You alright?"

"Yeah Dave, I'm fine. But I'm not going to be that way much longer unless we can get out of here. How many are still on us?"

"Two. I'm doing my best to keep them from hitting us."

"Oh, I might've guessed it was you at the bloody helm. I'll try and get you some more power to play with, Orlatrel is getting you some shields."

"Orlatrel has gotten him some shields." The younger man emerged from the smoke. "And for my next trick, I shall try and get this smoke cleared."

"You catch that, Dave?"

"We have shields. I'll try to not abuse them too much. Hang on in there."

"You too." Smithy closed the comm link and made his way over to Lisa. "How you getting on?"

"Controls are bypassed, sir. I'm setting up a new link through the main computer with the helm. I figure that should smooth out the ride a little, but it won't do much about large impacts."

"That'll do for now." Smithy twisted around at a new alarm. "Oh, bloody bollocking hell! I do not need a computer hardware alarm right now!"

"I'm on it." Lisa dived at the board, scanning the error report and swiftly opening up the panel beneath the console. "Five minutes, sir!"

"You've got three." Smithy paused, taking stock of the situation. Despite being several men down, and despite the damage that Metcalf's cronies had inflicted, they seemed to be getting on top of things. While the situation was a long, long way from being in their favour, that merely added spice to the challenge.

All at once the shuddering stopped. Smithy blinked. "Did we just win?" His comm badge chirped. Bridge to Commander Smith."

"I'm here, Dave. What's happening?"

"You'd better get up here. Another ship just arrived. It's the USS Invincible."

"Karen Walker?"

"The same. She's requesting you do the talking."

Lisa stared at the engineer, watching as his face changed. She hadn't known him long, but she could tell that now he was angry.

"On my way."

*************
Ready Room
1549hrs EST


Smithy strode in, staring at Harriman. "She on the line now?"

"Yeah. How is it down there?"

"Bad, but we're on top of it. How is it up here?"

"About the same." Harriman shook his head. "We probably shouldn't keep her waiting. I was hoping to be able to hold these guys off until Kieran could get over here. Don't think we can now."

"Probably not." Smithy sat down, turning Harriman's console to face him. He tapped the comm tie-in. "Karen."

Captain Karen Walker's face appeared on the screen wearing a cold, thin smile. "James. Looking well, I see. Engine room in flames yet?"

"Come on Karen, you know me. Even when your loverboy was at the height of his incompetent powers I could keep the Excalibur's engine room from dissolving into fire. You really think a bunch of hired guns could cripple this ship?"

"No, I don't. Which is why I'm here. Unless you and your captain surrender and allow us to board we will finish that job."

Smithy glanced up at Harriman, who shook his head. "A tempting offer, but no thanks."

"Come now James. You of all people should appreciate what we're trying to achieve! The Federation needs shaking up. A new order. Starfleet needs greater powers. We need Robert in charge. With him and the new weapon, no-one would dare challenge the Federation again!"

"Like I said, Karen. No thanks." Smithy closed the comm link. "I'd better get back down there, they'll not hang around before making good on her threat."

*************
1551hrs EST
Engine Room


The deck began to shudder again as phaser fire spashed against the shields. Lisa ducked the shower of sparks that the console spat at her. That Starfleet ship must be firing on us! She set back to work, feverishly setting up the computer to take into account the damage it had taken to it's isolinear arrays. She tried to remember what she knew about Invincible. Senator class starship. Tactical grade 4. Five phaser arrays, three torpedo tubes.

She completed the re-programming by the time she'd reached what she remembered about the impulse engine spec of the opposing starship, and glanced around at Orlatrel. "Sir, I need access to the isolinear array!"

"Middle of the room, ensign! Don't ask me why, it must have made sense to Starfleet at the time!"

Lisa stared at him wide-eyed for a second, before pulling herself over to the floor panel. Why indeed. The location made no sense. The situation made no sense. Her being here made no sense.

She wrestled the panel open, pausing long enough to catch a few lungfuls of marginally cleaner air before leaning into the smoke filled cave. She yanked the dead chips out, hurling them over her shoulder. She didn't care where they landed. In an Academy 'Damage Control' simulation you were expected to keep your tools in the bag until you needed them, putting them away when you needed another tool. And you certainly didn't throw mangled bits of computer over your shoulder. But this was not a HoloSim. And she didn't have time to keep changing tools in an orderly fashion. A minute later, the computer flashed back into life. She let out a small cry of satisfaction, slamming the panel closed. She spun around to let Orlatrel know she'd got the computer working, when suddenly the whole room seemed to explode.

She found herself flung against the rail around the warp core, and she clung to it as the ship was tossed around ever more violently. The hits just kept coming. For one blessed moment the ship righted itself. It's over. That was scary, I nearly went-

She didn't get a chance to complete that thought. Another huge hit, then two. Everyone was tossed to the deck. Everyone except her. She felt the floor disappear underneath her, felt herself fly back.

Felt herself go over the rail.

*************
*************

I rather like cliffhangers.....

I shall post the conclusion to that one sometime soon, just wanted to get some thoughts on it as this is literally the only part of "Vengeance" that I'm remotely happy with after several on-off periods of writing it over the last couple of years! The rest of the story will[/b] get posted on here after ROTA is done, come hell or high water.





RIMMER: Step up to Red Alert.
KRYTEN: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2007, 10:25:33 pm »
Nice. Really nice. Must see more!

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Offline James Smith

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2007, 06:15:08 am »
Nice. Really nice. Must see more!

I'll post the rest of that part later.

Czar "Poor Lisa" Mohab

She does spend a good portion of the story as a victim, before beginning to grow into the woman she later becomes. One of the other few bits I'm really rather happy with has her dealing out physical retribution to someone, while delivering a Bond-style one-liner  ;D
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Offline James Smith

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2007, 05:33:19 pm »
*************
USS Tigermoth
23rd November 2377
1552hrs EST
Engine Room


For one brief moment, Lisa found herself almost suspended in mid-air. Then, the fall. Looks like this is it. She swung an arm out in a desperate grab for the rail, and missed.

But she wasn't falling.

She looked up. A hand had grabbed her arm just below her wrist. Commander Smith's hand. She blinked. He wasn't even looking at her - he was barking orders at someone. For some reason, she found that wildly funny. It seemed that the stories told about him at the Academy were true - the guy was truly unbelievable.

"Hey kid, you okay down there?"

She snapped back out of her reverie, barely about to squeak out the words. "I-I'm fine. Could....could you pull me up please?"

"Sure." With one swift tug he yanked her back up over the rail and back onto the deck. "Don't scare me like that."

The deck was still pitching around under the onslaught, but it had lessened. Lisa watched as Smithy dashed over to a wall panel as it spat out a shower of sparks. "Come on kid, back to work! Need you over here!"

"C-coming, sir!" She shook her head, trying to clear it before making her way over him. "I got the computer back on-line before the firing started again, looks like the repairs haven't held!"

"Yeah....we're losing computer control functions. Not much we can do about that right now. I've got everything switched over to the individual control cores, but if the main computer goes out for good we'll lose warp drive....and we may need to cut and run soon if Kieran doesn't get here."

Kieran? Admiral Forester? I hope he's bringing more friends. "Looks like the coolant comrpessor for this unit is out of action, sir. You want me to go up the tube and take a look?"

Smithy shook his head. "No....I got it. Besides, it's damned dangerous....and you've had enough excitement recently. I told you I'd get you out of this alive, and I don't need you flying over engine room railings or going up into confined spaces near possibly suspect coolant compressors." He yanked a door open in the bulkhead and hauled himself up into the Jeffries Tube. "Keep a watch on that pressure if you can." He tappe dhis comm badge. "Bridge! can you keep them off us for one damned minute while I try and get some power back?!"

"Look pal, any time you wanna get up here and take over you go right on ahead. I've had my fill of command today." Harriman's exasperated voice filtered down through the comm system. "If Kieran doesn't show up soon....oh, well....talk of the devil."

Smithy poked his head back out of the tube to share a quick, hopeful glance with Lisa. "He's here?"

The ship stopped shaking. "He's here alright. Those ships are scattering. Invincible is off and running.....oh, come on! That's not right!"

"Dave? Dave! What's going on?"

"Get to a monitor."

Smithy glanced around the half-ruined engine room. "We don't have one any more. Just tell me.....what's going on!"

"Well, there's a whole bunch more debris out here than there was a moment ago. Invincible cloaked, she's turned tail and run. The other ships are crippled. Hyperion, Condor and Lexington are taking up positions around us."

Smithy blinked. "Did you say Hyperion?"

"That's what she says on her hull. God bless him. I might have known he'd grab her out of the dock. I'm dropping shields, expect some help to arrive any minute."

"Cheers. Lord knows we need it." Smithy hauled himself back out of the tube and surveyed the damage. "Alright....priorities. Let's get this damned computer up and running again. Alpha team, work with Lisa. Do whatever she says, as soon as she says it. Do not question her. I shall hurt you if you do. Beta team - soon as we get those helpers, let's get the hull reinforced. Everyone else - shields, propulsion, weapons. That order. Mark and move."

*************
RIMMER: Step up to Red Alert.
KRYTEN: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

Offline Commander Maxillius

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2007, 11:49:53 pm »
Oh come on, you can't stop there!!!! 

I need to read more about this crew and the seemingly indestructible Saber-class Tigermoth
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Offline Czar Mohab

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2007, 01:22:58 am »
Oh come on, you can't stop there!!!! 

I need to read more about this crew and the seemingly indestructible Saber-class Tigermoth
/agree

I mean, how bad do you really think it is? It'll be fine. I'd say start at the begining, and just make sure each chunk is to your liking before you post it.

Then again, its yours to do with as you please, but I think that the general feeling would be, "More please".

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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2007, 09:57:21 pm »
Hot damn. Nice way to show a fight without showing the fight. Bravo!

And yes, more please!

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2007, 07:58:50 am »
Certainly started with some fireworks, didn'tcha?  I agree with the Guv, that it's an excellent example of showing people in a fight without actually describing the combat itself.  Oh, it's probably intentional on your part, but I likely would've given Smithy a UK accent in my head even if I hadn't known your nation of origin.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline James Smith

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2007, 09:01:37 am »
Hot damn. Nice way to show a fight without showing the fight. Bravo!

I agree with the Guv, that it's an excellent example of showing people in a fight without actually describing the combat itself.

I was hoping it'd work well. Mission accomplished, I believe.

Oh, it's probably intentional on your part, but I likely would've given Smithy a UK accent in my head even if I hadn't known your nation of origin.

Heh ;D

He's supposed to have the same accent I do - which is a sort of Burton-ian (Midlands) base with a bit of a Northern tinge. It's actually a hard accent to write, so I don't tend to bother. Lots of word endings get flattened or lost entirely....it's been described to me as a very "lazy" accent, whatever that means!

Right - I was going to work on it some more and actually start posting it while I work through a kink I've arrived at in ROTA. But then I went on holiday to France, and didn't bother working on it while I was out there  ;D If I don't get this bit of ROTA sorted to my satisfaction over the next couple of nights then I'll start posting this one, as I have the first chapter almost ready to go.
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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2007, 03:34:26 pm »
This is awesome. I wish I could write this good. Character work is flamin' brilliant. I love love love your character's dry remarks and banter!

Quote
Alpha team, work with Lisa. Do whatever she says, as soon as she says it. Do not question her. I shall hurt you if you do.

 :laugh:

I always heard Smithy in a British accent, but after reading your comment to Larry about a Burton-ian accent, my mind bizarrely switched tracks and I read the rest of that post in Graham Chapman as King Arthur.

 :o

Might be because I just saw 'Spamalot' in Vegas a couple of Fridays ago...  ;D
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Another short bit - this time from "Vengeance"
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2007, 12:21:01 pm »
This is awesome. I wish I could write this good. Character work is flamin' brilliant.

You can, your style is just more Andy than Smithy.  Don't sell yourself short. 

Now where the [bleep!] is 'Raider'?  I'd say I'd beat you if I didn't see progress soon, but beating you would just be revenge for making me picture Smithy's protagonist as an Pythonesque King Arthur.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
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