Topic: flatulence powered spacecraft.

[Panzergranate]

NASA has been experimenting with the posibilties of using Methane as a space craft fuel with view to possibly using atmosphere skimming of some of the gaseous outer planets for re-fueling.

However, could the crew help contribute to vessel's fuel supply??

If so, what foods or combinations of food would provide the best results??

If anyone saw the film "Thunderpants" a couple f years ago, there was a craft using "Fart Drive" powered by the hero of the SCi Fi movie.

So, anyway, what would the astronauts need to eat for best results??

[Lieutenant_Q]

If it was me... Provolone Cheese. 

[Centurus]

For me, anything edible.

[Panzergranate]

In Space no one can hear you fart........but they can stiil enjoy the look on your face through your visor!!

[Panzergranate]

Picard, Riker, Troi and Data in the Turbo Lift on the USS Enterprise.

DATA: Captain I'm detecting the growing odour of Methelhydided, Sulpher Dixoxide and Methane eminating from a source somewhere in the Turbo Lift.

PiICARD: DATA??!!

DATA: If I use my Tricorder, I should be able to locate the exact source, Captain.

RIKER: That shouldn't be neccessary Data.

PICARD: Something to hide Number One??

DATA (Scanning with Tricorder): It appears to be eminating somewhere low down in here Captain.

RIKER: It wasn't me!!

TROI: I'm sensing someone attempting to decieive close by.

DATA: Commannder Riker is indeed correct in his statement, Captain, the source is not him.

PICARD: Enough Data, and put the Tricorder away!!

DATA: But Captain I have managed to nearly pinpoint the exact location to somewhere near your proximity.

PICARD; DATA, ENOUGH!!

DATA: Yes Captain.

With that the Turbo Lift reaches its detination and the occupants, apart from Data, emergerge gasping for air.

PICARD (Walking off down the corridor): Number One, have a word with maintainance about inproving the atmosphere cleaners in the Turbo Lifts sometime soon, will you.

DATA: Commander Riker, I do not understand the Captain's behaviour??

RIKER: Data, it is a Star Ship Captain's perogative if he wishes to fart in a Turbo Lift or not. Ours is not to reason why, ours it to but choke and cry!!

[Vipre]

@ ^


There are just too many things funny about this NASA concept, it makes it so hard to say nothing.

[Panzergranate]

If you were on board the afformentioned  NASA space craft, what exactly would the engines sound like??

Would it use a "Spincter Valve" to control the amount of thrust?? 

[Panzergranate]

Another thought here.........

If Warp powered ships with MAM can tap off AM fuel to load torpedoes, what are the possibilities for this as a weapons concept??!!

And....

Would it be possible to fart onto a transporter pad and beam it straight to an enemy ship's bridge?? If one knew, for instance the direct cordinates of the area directly in front of the enemy captain's face........ well think about it!!

[Czar Mohab]

Maybe going here would answer some questions about farts.

Czar "Given the opportunity, always blame the dog. Bonus points when you succeed." Mohab, who should add that the dog should never get credit for the really really good ones.

[Panzergranate]

Our pet Carruion Crow "Blackie" farts!!

If he's been tucking into cooked Swede or Parsnip then this will start him fermenting.

Here's the funny part, which has anyone witnessing the event laughing, Blackie stops what he's doing, lifts a leg and hisses loudly from the exhaust vent and then just carries on what he's doing again!!

Unfortunately being blind stops Blackie from using ths ability as a natural jet engine in flight. He spends most of hi time outdoors sunbathing, foot patroling the garden, chasing away cats or sat next to his food bowl eating.  Blackie has acute hearing and an amazing built in GPS system which makes up for his lack of vision.