There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
Microsoft: "You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips."
I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.
Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
Use The Best...
Linux for Servers
Mac for Graphics
Palm for Mobility
Windows for Solitaire
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.
Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.
Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.
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Stephen