Okay, guess what.
Anyone who downloaded the model to texture it?
Yeah, unfortunately I am scrapping that version. There were a TON of mesh errors I didn't realize. - I scrapped the Higher-res version in favor of a newly built-up low res. I saved a huge amount of polies, too.
Unfortunately that means I have to remap the thing... Again.
T_T.
cest la vie.
EDIT:
I built a Virtual Studio this morning. works out great for rendering models to showcase. - comes with a two-point lighting system, two cyc's to choose from (which you can limitlessly swap out textures for). and my own lighting console system ^_^.
Render produced with said studio.