Topic: If Al Bundy was a starship captain.

[Panzergranate]

What if Al Bundy was a starship captain?? Imagine Star Fleet sending Captain Al Bundy on an important diplomatic mission to a female dominated society!!

I figure that Al Bundy would be the obvious choice to command a Shoemacher Class cruiser.

It would make up a good follow up to Enterprise, set in the early Federation years. The show could discover who exactly caused the animosity between the Federation, Kizinti, Klingons, Lyrans, etc.

To go where no Bundy has gone before....

Any ideas on possible episode plots??

[Doctor Lazarus]

Harry Mudd and pleasure girls

Bundy meets the orion pirates

[FPF-Tobin Dax]

Bundy's Brain   

[Nemesis]

Harry Mudd and pleasure girls

Or course when Al buys one and the drugs run out it becomes Peggy.

[Centurus]

And don't forget Marcy and Jefferson.  No matter where in the quadrant he is, they always seem to show up and beam over onto the bridge.

[Don Karnage]

Al is the captain

Peggy: his first officer

his dauther: communication officer (she spend a lot of time on the phone)

his son: helms


after 20 years, the starship Looser return from a simple 2 weeks mission in the Beta Quadrant 

[Centurus]

Al is the captain

Peggy: his first officer

his dauther: communication officer (she spend a lot of time on the phone)

his son: helms


after 20 years, the starship Looser return from a simple 2 weeks mission in the Beta Quadrant 

No no.  Peggy is first officer and communications officer.  Kelly is the navigator and helm officer.  Bud is chief engineer.

[The_Joker]

Kelly would be "recreations" officer.

Bud would be a redshirt, as both are pretty much useless.

[Panzergranate]

Possible quotes from the show "Bundy Trek"-

Al: When I said, quote, " Lock on and beam me up quick!! I'm being chased by a big scary monster, it wasn't a suggestion, Peg!! "

Picture the scene from an episode. The Bundyprise has come across a strange object in deep space....

Al sat in Captain's chair on the bridge, one hand down pants, main viewer remote in the other. Kelly is sat the the science station, Bud on the helm, Peg on Communications station.
 
Al to Science Officer Kelly Bundy: "Pumpkin, the object ahead of us will ya."

Kelly: "Uh.... which button do I push again, Daddy??"

Al: "The blue one and don't to look into the viewer Pumpkin."

Kelly pushes buttons as look into the viewer.

Al: "Well?"

Kelly: "Its a thing Daddy!!"

Al: "Any sign of intelligence??"

Bud: "No Dad, Kelly's always been that dense!! She suffers from Blonditus".

Al: "It might be hostile and dangerous. Peg you beam over alone. On second thoughts, take Marcie with you. Kill two birds with one stone."

Peg: "Oh Al!! I'm busy talking to my mother on the phone, can't you just send ??  "

Al: "YOU CAN STILL PHONE WANKER COUNTY FROM DEEP SPACE, BUT YOU SAY WE'RE OUT RANGE OF STAR FLEET COMMAND??!!"

Peg: "Yes!!"

Al: "I've had enough of this!! Bud, arm the Farton Torpedoes."

Bud: "Armed Dad!! Dad but Marcie's still over there!!"

Al: "Fire both tubes!!"

<Effects> Sound of multiple flushing toilets, visual of fast moving brown missiles leaving Bundyprise.

Al: "Now that's what I call a man sized flush!!"

Bud: "Target creamed Dad!!"

Al: "Lets leave before some comes and asks awkward questions."

<Effects> view of Bundyprise going to warp.

[Centurus]

Possible quotes from the show "Bundy Trek"-

Al: When I said, quote, " Lock on and beam me up quick!! I'm being chased by a big scary monster, it wasn't a suggestion, Peg!! "

Picture the scene from an episode. The Bundyprise has come across a strange object in deep space....

Al sat in Captain's chair on the bridge, one hand down pants, main viewer remote in the other. Kelly is sat the the science station, Bud on the helm, Peg on Communications station.
 
Al to Science Officer Kelly Bundy: "Pumpkin, the object ahead of us will ya."

Kelly: "Uh.... which button do I push again, Daddy??"

Al: "The blue one and don't to look into the viewer Pumpkin."

Kelly pushes buttons as look into the viewer.

Al: "Well?"

Kelly: "Its a thing Daddy!!"

Al: "Any sign of intelligence??"

Bud: "No Dad, Kelly's always been that dense!! She suffers from Blonditus".

Al: "It might be hostile and dangerous. Peg you beam over alone. On second thoughts, take Marcie with you. Kill two birds with one stone."

Peg: "Oh Al!! I'm busy talking to my mother on the phone, can't you just send ??  "

Al: "YOU CAN STILL PHONE WANKER COUNTY FROM DEEP SPACE, BUT YOU SAY WE'RE OUT RANGE OF STAR FLEET COMMAND??!!"

Peg: "Yes!!"

Al: "I've had enough of this!! Bud, arm the Farton Torpedoes."

Bud: "Armed Dad!! Dad but Marcie's still over there!!"

Al: "Fire both tubes!!"

<Effects> Sound of multiple flushing toilets, visual of fast moving brown missiles leaving Bundyprise.

Al: "Now that's what I call a man sized flush!!"

Bud: "Target creamed Dad!!"

Al: "Lets leave before some comes and asks awkward questions."

<Effects> view of Bundyprise going to warp.

THAT'S PRICELESS!!!!

+1 for you.

[Panzergranate]

Instead of the Q Marcie would be the M from the M continum. Would have the same effect on Al as Q does on Picard.

AL: Captain's log, ah, who cares.... We're in orbit around a large Ophra sized planet after a major sensor failure. Engineering has reported finding that Kelly unplugged it to use her hairdryer.

Anyhow I sent Peg down alone to investigate in the hope that there might be something dangerous down there. Failing that to find a liquor store and fetch some beer.

Communications still unable to contact Star Fleet Command or receive the Sports Channel. On a plus side we can't receive Ophra either this far out.

Have managed to elude the Klingon warship that Bud clipped at the lights near Space Station K7. Things become hairy when they started shooting at us and we went to Brown Alert at one point. Fortunately the good old DODGE warp engine managed to hold together long enough to outrun them.

[Panzergranate]

The Mother-in-law Machine.

Synopsis: The Bundyprise comes across a giant pie eating machine, that reminds hm of Peg's mother, in space.

Sciience Officer Kelly Bundy determines that it originates from outside the galaxy, probaly Wanker County.

Unable to contact Shoefleet Command, Al battles it alone and eventually defeats the intergalatic leviathan by firing modified torpedoes loaded with health food and diet pills.

The Apple.

Synopsis: Al grows an apple in Hydroponics but it mysteriously goes missing.

After a ship wide search, it is determined that the mysterious and annoying M from the M continum is responsible for its disappearance.

Al manages to recover his apple after dismissing M in a battle of cutting insults.

The Ultimate Remote.

Synopsis: The Bundyprise is recalled from deep space exploration by Shoefleet Command to take part in trials of a new AI main viewer remote control.

Unfortunately the AI remote goes haywire and keeps locking the main viewer into soaps, Ophra even refusing to allow Al to skip adverts.

The problem is traced to the onbard computer running Microsoft Windows for AI Remotes. Al then manages to shut it down and regain control of the main view screen on the bridge of the Bundyprise.

Bill Gates is arrested by Shoefleet Command and retrained to sell women's shoes in Alaka.

[Panzergranate]

Assignment Earth.

Synopsis: The Bundyprise is sent back in time, on the orders of Shoefleet Command, to early 21st Century Earth, to investigate possible theories that the United States may have had a Pakled agent posing as the President of the United States.

Posing as a shoe salesman, Al beams down and investigates. Meanwhile Peg and Kelly go shopping at the mall and Bud is, once again, unsucessful at loosing his virginity.

Al determines that, despite the similar limited IQ to a Pakled, the President in not an alien agent.

The Bundyprise returns to the 23rd Century.

[NCC-1701-V]

If Al got his hands on the Enterprise, the show will be called: Trekking... with Children.

[Panzergranate]

Kelly's Brain.

Synopsys:

The Bundyprise is intercepted by a strange, badly driven smallspace craft, which attacks the Bundyprise with a "Shopping Cnannel" based weapon, causing the crew to loose conciousness.

On waking up, several hours later, nothing seems to have changed onboard the Bundyprise.

It is only during a routine medical check up the next day, that Kelly Bundy's brain is found to be missing.

The Bundyprise sets off in pursuit and trails the small craft's exhaust emissions to a planet enduring an ice age.

It is discovered, to Al's horror, that the civilisation is in decay because it is "run" by a female dominated society.

Kelly's brain is recovered, Al restores the balance of the society by converting the male inhabitants to the church of NO MAAM, and all is well again.