We interrupt this subspace programming for a special war time interview. We are joining live a young man that witnessed a huge fleet battle in the Romulan neutral zone. Our Federation Times reporter Jack Black is standing by.
Federation Times: Hello, this is Jack Black. I’m standing next to… Please state your name for the record.Yeah, my name is Flim Snarkus.
FT: And who do you work for?I’m a junior asteroid survey tech for the Federation Mining Corp. I was out here an....
FT: And why were you out here?Uhh, yeah, well, like, I was out here on a job and…
FT: And what kind of job were you doing?Uhh, well, I was assigned to this team that goes around various asteroid fields and we get dropped off in shuttles to land on the big rocks to take samples to see if they are rich enough in minera…
FT: And where exactly were you?Yeah… uhhh we were like in this, hey man, this isn’t gonna be published or anything is it? Cuz like, I don’t want to get busted… We all know it’s illegal to mine in the neutral zones, but man that’s like where all the hot digs are, dude! It’s mass cash time from unexploited fields of everything from dilithiu…
FT: So what exactly did you see that day?Right. Okay, so like, I’m here from this shuttle on this big rock, dude it’s pretty huge so I can like walk around and stuff, but I better not jump, dude, haha cuz I’ll like be floating man. And I’m taking samples and stuff and readings, well, my survey ship had split to get some equipment and when I saw a ship warp back in I figured it was them, but DUDE! No way! I saw these ships come up over the rock and one was all green and stuff with birds painted all on it, definitely Romulan and the really BIG one looked like this Klingon dreadnought I saw in Captain Fedavengers’s comics books, but it had this weird paint job and a big bird underneath and a third one that looked totally different paint scheme and all. So like here they go right over my rock, man! I was like WOW! But, scared too! I didn’t know what to do you know? Cuz like what if they were coming for me? Right!
So I turn all my sh*t off man, the shuttle sensors the lights the engines, man I even turned off my flashlight, dude. I was so not getting spotted by these baddies. And then they kinda form up and start flying in formation…
FT: And then what happened?Well, and then there comes another fleet of ships. I was like YEAH BABY! Cuz I recognized these guys right off. There was this Fed Dreadnought, big tough looking ship, and then this other ship that looked like the USS Bill Clinton, man! Like Captain Diehard’s ship from TV! He’s Legendary man! Yeah! And then another ship, but I was like, whoah dude, the bad dudes have one just like it flying in formation with them. They were both ISC.
FT: You mean you say two identical ISC looking ships each flying for the other side?Right, dude. Exactly that.
FT: And then what happened?And then they start going at it, man. It was awesome! There were phasers firing everywhere, that PPD stuff the ISC have were lancing thru space and photons torpedoes and plasma, dude, whoah that stuff is scary. I had one fly over not too far from where I was and it almost hit this asteroid… It glassed the rock as it flew by, dude! Can you believe that? Like whoah!
FT And then what happened?Yeah, like and then the good guys ISC ship gets hit kinda bad and stuff starts falling off. Those bad guys really start chasing them good guys all over the place then. They went over here and over there and back again like 10 times all the while shooting and dodging space rocks. They almost hit a few too.
FT: And then what happened?And then, like you’ll never believe what happened next! That bad guy ISC ship gets hurt, right so it flies away from the battle a little ways and right then the Federation Dread gets really close, and I mean really close to that Klingon Dread with the bird underneath and flies in between it and the Romulan ship. Crazy! Then all these fighters launch out the back and some shuttles too! And it starts turning into the Klingon Dread, man! I was thinkin, dude, this is bad that Fed Dread is gonna get killed by plasma. And right when it looked like the Federation Dread was about to ram that Klink, it tractors it and starts pushing it into this huge rock!!!
FT: And then what happened?And then you won’t believe this! So, like these two Dreadnoughts are locked tight by this tractor beam and explosion mines are going off everywhere, fighters are dropping missiles and it just gets all crazy! I thought for sure that Klink looking dread was headed for that asteroid, but it wasn’t. And I also thought that Fed Dread was toast because of all that plasma that got fired at it, but it wasn’t.
FT: And then what happened?And then, like you won’t believe what happened next! The Fed Dread is hurt… It like got lit up like a candle… I saw all it’s shields flicker and collapse and the hull looked like it was just boiling away, but then the plasma cooled off and just like a lotta damage was done. But the Klink Dread got whacked hard, man! Those little fighters stung it like a thousand bees! And the shuttles had all these missiles strapped to em and they just burst all out and crazy like and start streaking toward that Klink Dread and boom boom boom! All those missiles went kaBOOM! And that Klink Dread with the bird underneath is history man! Goodbye Cya!
FT: And then?And then those other good guy ships sweep in and fire at the Romulan ship and bang it up good. But I looked back and see the Fed Dread moving off real slow like and man it looks bad. It’s got holes all over and fires going on inside it. I didn’t think it was gonna make it cuz here comes that bad guy ISC. It just sneaks up on it and lets loose with this PPD blast and that DN slows down even more. I’m thinking ok, this is it, but no! That Fed DN starts dropping space mines on that ISC dude and it’s already beat up bad. Well, these explosions are going off and rip it up big time and it banks away and the Fed DN starts weaving back and forth like it cant make up its mind if it wants to chase or split.
FT: And then?And like then you won’t believe this part! Then the other Rom comes around and races right past the ISC good guy and the Bill Clinton ship and heads straight for the Fed DN. Comes like right up on it’s ass and I’m thinkin, man this is it. That Fed DN is toast. This green plasma comes out of that Rom and streaks right up and into the rear hull of the DN and just rips that thing a new one, man! That whole shuttle bay and stuff, well kiss all that goodbye, flies right off up and over the saucer. I was like oh noes! And then it slows down even more just kinda barely moving along to the edge of the rock field maybe trying to disengage or something… I thought that Rom had em then cuz it’s catching up.
FT: And then?And then the good guy ships come along! They tractor it and drag it away from the dread and take turns just beating the hell out of it. Yeah Bastards! Take that for hurting the Fed Dread, Whoo! And they shoot it up so bad, BOOM! It just nukes right there supernova style! Toasted and roasted. Goodbye cya don’t want to be ya.
FT: And then?And then like there’s one fighter left that I notice sneaking up on that bad guy ISC ship that’s making for the edge of the rock zone to like warp out... Whack! Mini Gatlings pepper what’s left of that ship’s engines and it’s dead in the water. That lil shuttle just starts doing circles round that ship like a shark waiting to eat its prey.
FT: And then?And then it’s over man! Game over! The Bill Clinton Cruiser swaggers up, untouched, I might add, and kaBOOM! It supersoaks that ISC bad dude with phasers, drones and photons, wow… What a fireworks display. Man those Coalition guys totally got the crap beat out of them!
FT: And then what happened?And then well, the left warp engine fell off the Fed Dn when it tried to warp out so the other two towed it back to base. Then I got picked up by my survey ship and got the hell outta there, man! I wasn’t sticking around waiting for more bad guys to show up looking for their survivors. I was like, Laters!
FT: Flim Snarkus, thank you for that fantastic narrative. Wait… what’s this? Special subspace transmission from the Federation Times Press Office… We have the details on the ships and their captains. I’m relaying the information now…The Alliance fleet was comprised of the USS Vibrator a DVL Light Dreadnought Carrier commanded by Captain Felicity Shagwell, the I.S.C. CAY Heavy Cruiser commanded by Agave and a CC+ Constitution Class Cruiser, the USS Bill Clinton commanded by Admiral Diehard.
The Coalition fleet was comprised of a R-K9RB Romulan Plasma Heavy Dreadnought commanded by Shadowlord aka Duck, a Romulan SUK Superhawk Heavy Cruiser Carrier commanded by MRogue and the ISC ‘Drunken Frog’ commanded by the Supreme Coalition Commander himself, KBF Lord Krueg.
Indeed two things have been confirmed here today. One is that we do have an ISC Civil War happening as we speak and the episodes of the USS Bill Clinton TV Syndication show will continue being made… Thanks for tuning into this special press report brought to you by the Federation Times. We now return you to your regular subspace programming…
Topic: SGO7: The Interstellar Concordium Civil War (Read 1264 times)