Topic: Big Time  (Read 21242 times)

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Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #40 on: May 05, 2008, 03:12:51 am »
I'm getting a John McClane feeling. Yippie-kay-yay motherf*cker!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #41 on: May 30, 2008, 03:20:28 pm »
Nice scene. I had a how does his stone armour thing work query in here, but it was too... Bah.

Nice scene. I enjoyed it, though Bob is entirely too considerate towards the bad guy.
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The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
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- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #42 on: May 30, 2008, 05:19:06 pm »
I enjoyed it, though Bob is entirely too considerate towards the bad guy.

Really?  How so?
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #43 on: June 02, 2008, 04:58:18 pm »
"Well, I don't want to break his ankle... and if I call in support, they'll just try to kill the guy."

A little too altruistic in the middle of a fight?
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #44 on: June 03, 2008, 09:52:29 am »
"Well, I don't want to break his ankle... and if I call in support, they'll just try to kill the guy."

A little too altruistic in the middle of a fight?

If Bob liked to hurt people...well, he might be a superhero, but he wouldn't be Bob.  If he can resolve a situation without snapping bones or inflicting lasting injury, he will do so.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #45 on: June 06, 2008, 09:34:35 pm »
You don't have to like hurting people to want them down and out, so they're unable to get back up and keep pounding on you.

Kirk was never that considerate towards those he flying body kicked, and we all accept that he wasn't a malicious sadist. You put someone down to stay down, and if they ain't taking the hint, you up the ante.

RockBoy just wouldn't quit, and Bob wasn't taking him down another way.
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #46 on: June 06, 2008, 09:42:03 pm »
Several things to consider:

1> Bob's entire aim is to capture the fellow so that the police won't be forced to kill him.

2> Bob has never fought a rock-protected gang-banger before, and is unsure how much force he can safely exert and not cause permanent injury.

3>  Bob, throughout the fight, is never at any point worried that he's going to lose, and his estimation is accurate.  He can afford to cut rock boy some slack.  He's a kung fu master. ;D

4>  When it was apparent that Rock Boy wasn't going to give up despite being in an untenable position, Bob did, in fact, risk a less restrained attack.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #47 on: June 06, 2008, 09:43:56 pm »
Well, that makes sense and they are your characters. That was just the original impression the scene left me with, that's all.
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

The Senior Service rocks! Rule, Britannia!

The Doctor: "Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink."
Mickey: "Wot's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'Magic Door'."
- Doctor Who: The Woman in the Fireplace (S02E04)

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #48 on: June 06, 2008, 09:47:12 pm »
I'm hoping Bob's actions are clearer in the context of the entire story.  I can see what you mean, but I had hoped to make the reasons I listed relatively noticeable in the fight scene itself.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #49 on: June 07, 2008, 09:55:42 pm »
Also remember that Larry follows the old style methods of writing a comic hero. He does not kill/maim/destroy without exceptional cause. In fact, he will kill more often than he is likely to maim, cause maiming folk is just plain wrong [in the vein of old school comics and classic westerns].

And never forget, Bob is a Do-Goodering GOOD GUY.

I now stand aside for the inevitable arguement from Larry as he tries to deny said. [or, as I have just writen this, he will agree or remain silent just to spite me]

pokepoke

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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #50 on: June 08, 2008, 08:41:13 am »
Also remember that Larry follows the old style methods of writing a comic hero. He does not kill/maim/destroy without exceptional cause. In fact, he will kill more often than he is likely to maim, cause maiming folk is just plain wrong [in the vein of old school comics and classic westerns].

Not gonna disagree with this at all, actually.

Quote
And never forget, Bob is a Do-Goodering GOOD GUY.

Yep.

Quote
Or, as I have just writen this, he will agree or remain silent just to spite me.

Agreed because I agreed.

Spiting you is of course, a notable bonus. ;D

"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #51 on: August 24, 2008, 01:29:28 am »
Was a long time coming, but I'm proud of this one.  The denouement and final scene of Big Time.

Enjoy!


-------------------


Police lights flashed up and down the street, patrol officers put up tape barriers and told people there was nothing to see.  I held an ice pack to the left side of my face, which didn’t help too much.  Something was better than nothing.

Rock Boy (or Beavis, or Kyle) was stretched out on a reinforced hospital gurney.  His foot was secured with a splint.  He wasn’t covered in stone anymore.  His hands were bound with power inhibitors.  Just like Doctor Lynx, the police hadn’t bothered to take him into official custody yet.

“Where’s Nikki?”  I asked.

He tried to give me a hateful look.  His heart wasn’t in it.  Kyle’s yellow eyes looked tired.   I’m sure he’d been stressed over his arrest, his escape, but I couldn’t help thinking there was more to it.

He shrugged.

“She’s gone.”

“Gone where.”

“Just gone.”

I stared at him a second.  There was bitterness in his voice.

“Don’t know where, huh?”

“Not a God damned clue.”  He said.

“Kinda into her, huh?”

He seemed to think about his response.

“A little.  She ain’t like some…gangbanger chick.  She wanted into the action, and stuff.”

“Well, she got that.”  I pointed out.

“Yeah.”  He said.  “Truck thing was her idea, ya’ know?  That’s a big score for us.  Was all pissed cuz we screwed it up.”

“That why she took off?”

“Maybe.”  He shrugged.  “Told her I wasn’t doing any of that cowboy crap anymore.  Can make plenty of money moving ‘Dyne.  She didn’t like that too much.”

“Why not?”

“Kinda stuff that’ll get you steady cash, you’re doing for someone else.  Don’t think she was interested in doing for someone else.”

I nodded.  It sounded familiar.

“She took off soon as we busted out.”  He confessed.  “No ‘bye bro’ or nothing.  Just turned ‘round and she was gone.”

“No idea where?” I said.  It wasn’t truly a question by this point.

“Wouldn’t tell you if I did know.”  He said.  The statement wasn’t convincing.  “But she made sure I didn’t.”

“And we’re not gonna find her hiding out with her boyfriend in King’s Row.”  I said.  “Are we?”

“No.”  He replied.  “No you ain’t.  She think like a cowgirl  She’s in Peoria, or some sh*t.  She’s gone.”

I looked at him for a long moment.

“Not sure how much time you’ll do.”  I said.  “Got a lawyer?”

“I will.”  He snorted.

“Right.”  I said.  I wanted to ask him more questions, but there was nothing to ask.  He said Fire Girl was gone, and I believed him.  “Gonna turn you over to the cops now.”

Kyle just shrugged.  I motioned to a couple of uniforms.  I heard them reading him his rights as I strolled off.

Detective Sexy was standing near a squad car, talking to Bytor and Knightsaint.

“He’s all yours.”  I said.  “Anyone hurt?”

“No.”  Sexy responded.

“Guy totally cannot shoot.”  Bytor expressed.

I nodded.

“He says the girl split town.  I believe him.”

“Gang types usually don’t stray too far from home…”  Sexy said cautiously.

“Don’t think she’s content to stay a gangbanger.”  I said.

“She’s gonna be trouble down the road, ain’t she?”  Knightsaint rumbled.  His armor wasn’t even mussed.  Felt sorry that he’d come down here for nothing….but when had I started thinking of not getting shot at as nothing?

“Yeah.”  I said.

“Blow that bridge when we come to it, baby.”  Bytor grinned.  I smiled, almost laughed

“Sounds like a good plan.”  Knightsaint agreed.  “Glad you got your guy, man.”

“Glad for the help.”  I said.

“Anytime.”  He said.  “Now if ya’ll excuse me…suppers probably getting cold…”

Sexy shook her head.  Knightsaint walked off, his big, blue, armor making each footstep a minor earthquake.

“So…paperwork now….”  She inquired.

“Tomorrow.”  I said.

“Tomorrow.”  Bytor agreed, grinning.  Sexy rolled her eyes.

“See you two in the morning….”  She began to move away.

“When you roll over and nudge me?“  Bytor asked, loud enough for every cop around to hear.

“Only if you wear the spandex, bitch.”  She shouted back.

“Good Lord…”  I said.

“Ain’t she something?”  Agreed Bytor.   “So…this one’s over.”

“Yeah.”  I said.  “Yeah, I think it is.”



*   *   *


For once, I had the radio on instead of the television.  It was late, and I was missing some favorite reruns, but I was cooking a much-delayed dinner and couldn’t have paid attention anyway.  The girl from Bytor’s radio station was taking calls again.

…so how can anyone criticize them, when, if they hadn’t been there, cops, or the suspect himself might’ve gotten killed?  I just don’t get it.”  The caller said.

There are two sides of everything, I guess.”  The DJ responded, sultry voice and all.  “I, personally, agree with you, but some people say that capes promote rather than control violence.”

But that argument makes no sense.  If you follow it far enough, you have to say that, ‘well maybe the police promote violence’ too and yet no one argues that we need cops…I just…

I tuned the radio out for the moment and stirred my hamburger helper.  I was trying to put myself into a reflective mood.  I was trying to worry about where Fire Girl was out, about how I was gonna pay for a new windshield, and other stuff.  The effort was turning out to be futile.

The kid was alive, and I hadn’t had to hurt him that bad.  I hadn’t been hurt that bad.  All the cops would go home tonight.  It was enough to make you feel pretty good about yourself.  And it was enough to put some worries to rest.

So instead of brooding, I cut up onions and took another drink of beer.

…and that’s really all I’ve got to say.” 

Like I said, personally I agree with you, and, especially when we’re talking about this incident…I don’t see how anyone couldn’t.”  The DJ said in her ‘wrap up the call’ tone.

All right…Joe from Steel Canyon, you’re up…

I only heard a few words of Joe’s call.  The phone rang.  I picked it up.

Famous.”  said Jill.  “And you were worried.

I smiled. 

“Famous?”  I asked.

You’re all over the news, again.  ‘Commando Bob apprehends desperate fugitive’, and all that.

“You called me just to tell me that?”

I knew you’d be watching sitcoms or something, instead of the news.

“TV isn’t even on.”

Really?  You must be cooking.

“Yeah.”  I admitted.

So are you still…having issues?

I gave the question some thought, stirred my pasta.

“Nah.  Don’t think so.”

Wanted to make sure.

“Thanks,”  I said.  “Lunch tomorrow.”

If you’ve not apprehending a desperate fugitive,”  said Jill.

I grunted.  Jill chuckled.

I gotta get to bed.”  She declared.  “Having lunch with a big-time superhero tomorrow.

“I am not a big time superhero.”  I said.

“Whatever you say…”  She hung up before I could object further.  I chuckled at her, stirred my dinner.   A few more minutes and it was done.  I fixed myself a plate, turned off the radio, and turned on the TV.  Frasier reruns can be held off only so long.  I remember something else though, that couldn’t wait.

I took a cigar out of my pocket  Bytor’s traditional victory trophy…from my pocket.  He always smoked his.  I kept mine.  I’d even found a cigar box to store them in.  It was stashed in the cabinet above my sink.  I got it down.

I opened the box and couldn’t see the bottom.  I stood there a moment, considering the revelation.  Bytor’s voice was in my head.

Welcome to the big time, Commando Bob.



End
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #52 on: September 22, 2008, 10:14:19 am »
Good stuff Larry! Wraps it up nicely and sets the scene for the next CB episode. Plus a nice ref to our DJ-ing physic... good show!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #53 on: September 24, 2008, 12:28:38 am »
Thanks, Grim!  Working on another one...with one familiar character in it though likely not who you'd expect...at the GF's request right now.  Once I get more of it done, I may start posting it.

Got all sorts of ideas, just need to manage my spare time better.  New job...I'm media again!...is still breaking in, but it seems to have relit some fires, writing wise.  Hope to be producing more very soon.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #54 on: September 24, 2008, 01:24:52 am »
Thanks, Grim!  Working on another one...with one familiar character in it though likely not who you'd expect...at the GF's request right now.  Once I get more of it done, I may start posting it.

Got all sorts of ideas, just need to manage my spare time better.  New job...I'm media again!...is still breaking in, but it seems to have relit some fires, writing wise.  Hope to be producing more very soon.

congrats on the new job, keep the GF happy and yay to more writing soon!
Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Big Time
« Reply #55 on: July 18, 2009, 12:58:49 am »
*thump*
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight