Topic: Hexx the Galactic Traitor

[762_XC]

Commander Hexx of the Federation entered the briefing, finding his specially equipped booster chair. Admiral t00l was already speaking.

"Well, uh, I'd like to, uh, welcome a new member to our team. Uh, Chuut-Ritt. Yeah. Uh, he is, uh, a consultant. Yeah. He is a consultant."

Hexx stared wide-eyed at his sippy cup holder. His Hello Kitty sippy cup was not in its usual place. He began to feel a sudden onrush of panic.

"He'll be helping us out a little here, asking some questions, making sure things go a little more smoothly. Yeeeaah. Oh and remember, next Friday is Lyran pelt day! So, y'know, if you want to, go ahead and uh, wear a Lyran pelt."

Hexx was mumbling to himself, "...know I left my Hello Kitty cup in...WHAT? Lyran Pelt day?"

Hexx was flabbergasted. First someone had removed his Hello Kitty sippy cup, now t00l was going to make him suffer the indignity of wearing a Lyran pelt? It was too much to bear. His lower lip quivered in horror.

"...Lyran Pelt day?..."

-----------------------------

After several hours of futile search for his Hello Kitty sippy cup, Hexx was meeting with the "consultant" Chuut-Ritt.

"Hi Hexx! Come on in and sit down, and we'll make this as painless as possible!"

Hexx doubted that was true. He positioned his booster chair and sat at the conference table.

"Okay Hexx, let's get started. Now what would you say you do for the Alliance?"

Hexx was shocked. Weren't his contributions obvious?

"Um...well you see sir, I'm an elite PvP pilot..."

"Elite PvP pilot huh? That's great, we don't get too many of those. Let's see, your kill record here is...0 and 27?" Chutt chucked," that doen't seem very elite now Hexx, does it?"

Hexx fidgeted nervously. "Well...well you see...I'm also a good hex flipper."

Chuut was impressed. "Great! Those are valuable to any campaign." Chuut pondered some more records. "Hmmm, let's see...AI kill ratio is...20 and 57? Heh heh. Been having a little trouble with the drone boats, eh Hexx?"

"Yes...yes...but...fast missions..."

Chuut pulled up another record. "Let's see, average mission time 21:45. Gotta say that sounds a bit high Hexx."

"Yes, well...do you know where I can find my Hello Kitty sippy cup?"

"Ah, I wouldn't know anything about that Hexx. Tell you what, why don't you run along to your ship now, and I'm sure we'll find something useful for you to do."

"Well...okay."

Chuut activated his intercom once Hexx had left. "Admiral t00l, we need to talk..."

-----------------------------

Hexx ran out of the meeting, booster chair in tow. After losing his Hello Kitty cup he simply could not trust anyone around here.

He ran straight into Admiral t00l.

"Hey Hexx, what's happening?"

"Uhh, sir..."

"Ahhh, I'm gonna have to deploy you to the ISC front. Yeah. You see, we need a crack pilot <snicker> such as yourself to run missions over there."

The ISC front? There had not been a single battle on the ISC front since the start of the war. How was he supposed get the glorious recognition he deserved?

"...but...but no I was looking for..."

"Yeah, see we figure a crack pilot such as yourself <snicker> will be sure to distract the enemy from what we're doing here. So if you could just run missions in the southwest corner of the map, that would be greeaaat."

Hexx trembled. That was DAYS from supply.

"Oh and ah, I'm going to have to go ahead and put you in a Q-ship. You see, we need all our line ships on the front lines here."

"No no...sir..."

"And ah, oh THERE it is. Let me get that booster chair from ya. Ah, Logistics says we can't support these any more. Yeah."

"No. No."

"Okay Hexx, have a good deployment. Talk to ya later."

Hexx stood in a panic. A lowly cadet nearly tripped on him as he stood there.

"Oh, sorry sir! Didn't see you there."

"...Krueg will...will give me a DNL..."

[Bonk]

Here ya go Hexx:



Poor widdle Hexx.


I smell a bounty...

[Hexx]

I smell a bounty...

I'm allowed to assign bounties?

[stoneyface]

I'm allowed to assign bounties?

ummm,  yeah... we're gonna have to goa ahead and say no... you cannot assign bounties until you can reach the bar without a booster seat... yeah...n'kay?

[KBFLordKrueg]

Krueg sits in his ready room, reading battle reports.
he was not in the best of moods.
The war went badly for the Coalition forces since the onset, mostly due to the absence of pilots who had previously pledged the loalty of their Houses.
The few who had showed so far were suffering heavy losses.
The door chimed sounded, irritated at the interruption, he commanded "ENTER!"

The security officer came in, out of breath "My Lord, we have captured the Alliance Captain known as Hexx! He offers information in exchange for his life!"
Hmmm...that sounds just like that spineless son of a slimeworm thought Krueg.
He's probably a spy on top of it...
"Which cell is he in?" Kreug demanded
"In brig 4 sir, maximun security, sir" was the quick reply.
Excllent, I'll be there shortly.
On the way to the turbo lift, Krueg wondered..."What was Hexx up to...? Figured him to die rather than be returned to the Lyrans for his treachery. Surly he knew if he didn't die by Kruegs hand, Fleet Admiral Dfy of the Lyran navy would have his hide pinned to a wall."

Entering the maximum cell area, he heard a whining voice "Comon, this is ridiculous! I'm your friend! I come in peace!
Can't we just let me out to talk...?"
"Gawd" Krueg thought..."same old Hexx"
Hexx was suspended face down above the deck by shackles from all four limbs, tightly stretched in the zero gravity cell.
"KRUEG!" he cried when he saw the command insignia on the side of Krueg's boots.
"Will you talk to these idio...nice gentelmen about letting me out of here? I came to see YOU! I have valuable information about the Alliance Operation and their intentions for the next offensive! I wouldn't lie to you, old pal...Comon, you know me...! We've flown together!"
Somehow, Krueg just knew Hexx was trying to smile, even though he couldn't lift his head to look at Krueg's scowled face.
"Indeed I do know you, Captain Hexx."
Krueg leaned close to Hexx's ear...
"Long I have been the subject of your...Jokes, as you refer to them.
Has it ever occurred to you that Klingons do not share your sense of humor?"
There was a long silence from Hexx.
"But, I have good information, I swear it! Hexx pleaded.
"Such has...? demanded Krueg.
"Well, what do you want to know?" Krueg knew Hexx must be smiling again
"you know what I want to know?" sneered Krueg...
Again he leaned close to Hexx's ear.
"How long you can last in my Agony Booth at maximum setting...?"
Krueg straightened, spun and barked to one of the several guards stationed on watch, "Get communications online with Fleet admiral Dfly so we can decide what to do with this scum"
He paused, looked at Hexx, "I will return in one hour, release the shackles, but maintain the zero gravity field. If he makes any move to escape, Kill him!"
All the Guards snapped to attention " yaj la'quv!"
Krueg pondered as he strode towards his quarters "I just KNOW he's up to something...
But, on the other hand, on the remote possibility that Hexx actually knew something useful, it could help swing the tide of the war...
But, the real question was, Did Hexx really know something? Or was he just desperate?"
Krueg was getting desperate for something to help the Coalition, as much as it pained him to miss seeing Hexx writhing in the agony booth, he may have to give Hexx a chance to talk first.
he wondered if Dfly would do that...hm...proably not.
Krueg wasn't sure if he even wanted to disagree...

[Hexx]

Hexx threw his bag down as he entered the Lyran Command Center.
It was good to be back.
He shifted, still feeling a little uncomfortable from Kruegy's enthusiastic welcome. He admited he didn't know alot about
Klingon welcome back parties, but was pretty sure they didn't involve getting hit with a painstick THAT many times.
He walked up to the fridge and opened it.
EMPTY!!?? It was never empty. Damn place was falling apart in his abscence.

Hexx turned as a lowly security tech entered.

"What happened to the fridge? No beer?"

The tech replied without even looking up. "Are you serious, after two base wide parties in a week?"

"Base wide parties?"

"Yeah, the party when "he" left, and the wake last night for his return.." the Tech trailed off as he finally looked up.

"Who's "he" Hexx asked. Maybe Likkerpig had returned and left again, Pig always was a bit unpopular with the trrops.
Unlike Hexx himself of course.

Unfortunately there was to be no answer as the tech had run off.

"Damn Techs" Hexx thought. "Should have shot him, that'll have learned him"

He noticed with a grin that his fellow Lyran captains had left all the variuos anti-Hexx memorabilia up on the walls.
Good lads. The more they put up , the more Hexx knew they really liked him. He had even heard there was a pot going around about when Hexx would lose his next ship. No doubt to help him get another.
Hexx also noticed a number of "We love Dfly" and " Dfly for Leader" posters.

He supposed he felt bad for Dfly, no doubt trying his hardest, but just unable to tap into that joking "we want you to die" bit that underlings employed around you when they really liked you.
Oh well, Dfly likely had his own abilities, even if nowhere on par with Hexx's own.

Oh well, time to get a ship.

[Dfly]

"Reports, reports reports.  Always more reports.  Wait a minute, what's this?  Krueg has Hexx?  It must be another cruel joke.  Naa, Krueg would never joke about anything, least of all Hexx."  Mutters Dfly to himself during resuply between battles.

"Attention all shipmates, someone find me my communications officer and send him to my office, PLEASE".   Strange how saying PLEASE really loud always has people scurying about doing what you want, and liking it.

Bleepblep.   "Enter".

"TT here as ordered, Fleet Admiral' says the security chief.

"Come in TT, I have need of you."  <and he better not upset someone this time>

"What can I do for you boss?"  replies TT as he quickly sits down.

"Send out a communique ASAP to OverLord Krueg we wish him to release Hexx on the next freighter to our base in the Klingon Space.  Hexx is not to be harmed, at least not be be crippled beyond use, and needed, that's right, needed to command a ship."

"But you can't be serious, HEXX in command !!  No one would fly with him, not even you!"  Stammers TT as he jumps out of his chair.

"(sound of Dfly clearing throat and TT sitting quite promptly).  Actually that is EXACTLY the plan.  Someone needs to be in the sacrificial ship as bait to lure out those wimpering alliance pilots who whine there is no one to kill while they run hex flipping."

"Now go and get Hexx released and on his way to us with a few choice words to Krueg, and make sure NO ONE knows what we have in mind for our dearly loved HEXX."

TT raises and walks out, with all the brain matter twisting around trying to figure out how to apease a Klingon who is about to lose the only still alive alliance pilot under Klingon control.

Now, back to finish those dang reports.  I need a break, a good fight or 2 on the front lines should help, soon as I finish the next few reports.