Topic: Now how did that lightbulb get in my arse?

[Jack Morris]

Operation to remove light bulb from inmate's anus Thu Jun 29, 5:04 AM ET
 


MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus.

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On Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

 

[Dracho]

Every cop has a "something stuck in the butt" story..

Mine was a guy we took to the ER with a flashlight lodged in his rectum.  The doctor in the ER was annoyed because everytime he tried to look in there to assess (no pun intended) how to extract it, he couldn't see anything because the flashlight was on and aimed out his rectum.  They were calling him "The Jedi" behind his back because he had a light sabre.     One of the nurses also call the device his "Faglight" (play on Maglight).

They had to wait for the battery to die to be able to see how to remove it.

[Jack Morris]

We had an active duty major with NSC ties come into the E.R. at Belvoir with a carrot lodged up there. He told the docs that him and his wife were "playing games". Yeah right, then why was the carrot covered with a condom? 

I should have saved that E.R. report (We had to log in every day the status of patients seen and complaints and what was done, etc...). Then again I would have been in very deep kimchi had someone busted me with it. There were suits all over the place telling us active duty folks that it was "confidential" and nobody best say a word. 

[Jack Morris]

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort.

Yeah buddy, I wonder what you felt when you were getting the bulb shoved in? 

Ohhh allah, ALLAH!  Allah, my bowels are moved for thee!

[likkerpig]

I read the title, noted who wrote it, just shook my head... "Jack, some things you should keep to yourself".


Eventually I read the story, it was pretty funny too...