A Pirates Tale
An able-bodied seaman meets a Anne in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the Anne's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
Anne replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off."
"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"
"Ahhhh...," mused Anne, "we were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."
"Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"
"Polly Roger, me parrot pooped into me eye," answered Anne.
"You lost your eye to a parrot dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said Anne, "it was me first day with the hook."