Topic: The Lyran French Connection part II

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Something else that is interesting.  Was the Lyran Logo based on a French Design?




 

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Additionally:

http://www.napoleoncats.com/welcome.htm

Basically, the Napoleon Cat is a hybrid (a breed developed from a deliberate cross between two existing breeds) with its "parent" breeds being members of the Persian Group (Persians, Himalayans or Exotics) and the Munchkin Group (either long or short-haired Munchkins). From its Persian parent Group the Napoleon has acquired its boning, round face and eyes with an abundant and colorful coat. From its Munchkin parent Group, the Napoleon has acquired its distinctive short legs, the result of a naturally occurring spontaneous mutation known as hypochondroplasia, commonly called dwarfism.

----------------------------------

What would one of these "Napolean cats" look like you ask?  Well it so happens that Snickers Inc. operatives have managed to "procure" a portrait of one right from the Lyran Imperial Palace where they are strewn about the place like wallpaper. 

[Mutilator]

Always missing the best parts of our culture...maids we got french maids!!

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Always missing the best parts of our culture...maids we got french maids!!

So do we, they are usually called P.O.W. s however.   

[Mutilator]

Well based on what yours look like I guess it is easy to understand why you warmongering Kzints want ours. 

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Well based on what yours look like I guess it is easy to understand why you warmongering Kzints want ours. 

Don't try to foist your sister off on me 

P.S.  That one ugly dog 

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

We use the Lyrans for the domestic duties the Kzin females are reserved for more important tasks:

Keeping the slaves in line:



So that the slaves serve us properly



Culling the cubs so that only the strong and intelligent survive



Teaching the survivors how to attend to their fathers properly



And personally providing relaxing diversions to their mates whether it be

At Home just "stretching the muscles"



On our starships with a little "Conquest of the Federation" kinky roleplay.



Or out in the wilds of the Homeworld for a bit of "How do you find Kzinerette in the Tall Grass?......Pretty Darn Good!"




 

[Matsukasi]

Surrender now, Lyrans.

Not only is it the French way, but let's face it....

... nobody beats Chuut in a picture battle. 

[Mutilator]

Surrender now, Lyrans.

Not only is it the French way, but let's face it....

... nobody beats Chuut in a picture battle. 

Never!



We Lyran have been spying on you a long time, right in your very own computers. Our agents have released the following to show there is nothing to fear from the Kzinti:


For years Kzintis have been over feeding on the fat of the universe, so much so, that most can no longer even stand up.


Those that do manage to get into a seated position are so tired by the time they get up


that their bodies go into shock and they often die


The Kziti that do manage to keep themselves in relatively good shape are nothing to fear either. We have dealt with all those we have caught. Most do beg for mercy but we will have none of it.


They all get the spin wash treatment to remove any tics and fleas they may carry.


We then interrogate them for any useful information. (Lyran agent masked for obvious reasons)


Once beaten shown the light of submission they tend to become useful Slaves employees of the Lyran Star Empire and carry out mundane remedial exciting new jobs careers to fill out their lives.


Those that some how manage to escape after capture, often grab old federation ground transports in quick desperation. We figure the Feds should have provided them with training or at least a manual as they tend to crash after a few kms.


In the end we Lyrans always have a few select agents that are well know for their love of hunting down Kzinti filth. Agents such as Likkerpig really enjoys this line of work especially when he is on the Nip.


So relax citizens of the Empire enjoy your lives as you should knowing you are well protected from the filth of the universe.


We always have super agents in reserve if any of the fat Kzinti allies decided to get involved.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

We then interrogate them for any useful information. (Lyran agent masked for obvious reasons)

OK, how much per hour will it cost me to be interrogated?   

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Fluf and Jinn prepare to drive Westwards into the heart of the Lyran empire



.......Meanwhile

Mutt wakes up in the morning and has the typical Lyran "Breakfast of Champions"



Then goes to report to "Baghdad Hexx" for his daily indoctrination training



We are winning the war, there are no Kzinti attacking Lyra, nor are they anywhere near to our planets.

.......

But  outside, the 17 th DF flotilla attack!   Captains Soreyes,, Krazy Kitty, and Dead Kitty provide a wakeup call for late sleeping and hung over inabitants of the Lyran captital



and Likkerpig is not happy to be awakened, "Here we go again, cursed droners!" he grumbles.



But he is a veteran and knows not to stay in bed during a Kzinti invasion, Trauma Tech isn't so wise and finds himself ambushed by Lyrkiller



And Maverick surprises Warp forcing him into a confinement cell



Before long Lyraa is once again conquered, and Jinn drops in getting fat off the opportunity....relly fat!



Hexx is given the Lyran crown and set up as a puppet ruler



But J'inn makes it clear to him who is relly in charge



And Chuut supplies his personal force of mercenaries with new coats



Courtesy of the new Lyran Prisoners



Matsukasi goes after a true prize,  Likkerpigs liquor cabinet



Yes life is good for a Kzin Chuut realizes, happier than he's been since he was a cub with his human "Nanny".

[Maverick]

All hail Chuut the picture war king =)

Nice to see you haven't lost your touch but please God don't put up that Song you took pictures from again or Mat will continue to torture me with it.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

but please God don't put up that Song you took pictures from again or Mat will continue to torture me with it.

Ummm Wrong song Maverick, heres the one that you meant, Mat's favorite 

http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

[Matsukasi]

YAY!!!!!!

< listens for screams of pain from the west coast >

[TraumaTech]

ahhhhhhhh Chuut.....silly little kzinti boy.We had to go way back into Lyran inteligence files .We found some old footage of you training .I guess this is why kzinti's are so one dimentional flying all those complicated drones 



http://www.extremely-sharp.com/direct/catvideo.html

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

And we have files of you during an emergency response to a Kzinti attack drill

http://home.comcast.net/~morebigcat/AFH-cat-runs-into-wall.mpeg

P.S.  Aim for the window next time 

[Mutilator]

Mutt wakes up in the morning and has the typical Lyran "Breakfast of Champions"

After such a fulfilling breakfast I usually wash it down with something Dizzy gave me, care to join me Chuut? 

 

After that we could have a few cold beers and listen to your favorite Kziti band:

http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

or perhaps my favorite Lyran rockers:

http://www.eyeenvision.com/litterbox/markedterritory.html

[Maverick]

but please God don't put up that Song you took pictures from again or Mat will continue to torture me with it.

Ummm Wrong song Maverick, heres the one that you meant, Mat's favorite 

http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

*screams* Oh God no *screams* There it is again! *screams*

I'm afraid very afraid *screams*

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

After that we could have a few cold beers and listen to your favorite Kziti band:

http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

or perhaps my favorite Lyran rockers:

http://www.eyeenvision.com/litterbox/markedterritory.html

The kzinti are fine, good mastery of the instruments the Lyran ones ...wel they just suck.

[Soreyes]

We Seemed to have found Hexx in his new Base Station

[Soreyes]

Soreyes prepairs for another War

   

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

We Seemed to have found Hexx in his new Base Station

 

Hey Soreyes I bet Hexx painted the flag on that mailbox white just incase an enemy appeared   

[TraumaTech]

Lyran covert intel operatives have discovered the reason behind kzinti inability to master anything more complicated than drones(shoot/fire/forget)

http://www.cutefunnyanimals.com/catfan.shtml

[Mutilator]

A high level Lyran spy within the upper levels of the ISC command structure turned over a high ranking Kzinit official


this Kzint has provided us with some new intelligence


It appears the Kzints are hard at work developing new technology


Such as new immersion suits for their fighter pilots


The first trial helmet asphyxiated 45 pilots before they came up with another version, so far only 10 pilots have been lost in that trial


Kzintis have also been developing a new listening post on the northern boarder


New equipment is still undergoing trials to try and find better ranges


Citizens of the Lyran Empire rest easy and relax. Your government is developing it's own weapons and new equipment


Such as new combat clothing


and dive gear for your marines


New laser swords are now in full issue for all troops and officers


In a joint project with the Klingon Empire we have also been undergoing some genetic engineering with mixed results


After the third eye development issues were resolved the laser beam eye project is now in full swing with great success


The T2 cat project should also be completed within the year


When Kzinti Officials saw the official release of our new equipment the often outspoke leader appeared to be at a loss for words

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Rather than waste good beer money on such high tech developments, the Kzinti Hegemony chose to concentrate on one new secret weapon which nullifies the Lyran Tech........

.......Duct tape.


When tested on Lyran subjects it was found to have a severely disabling effect.

http://www.zippyvideos.com/9547411401785116/stupidcat/original

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

New laser swords are now in full issue for all troops and officers

Lyrans did indeed issue new laser swords for their troops.

With the results Kzin military analysist predicted........



a generation of Lyrans without tails     

I guess they won't have to chase their own tails anymore at least   

[Soreyes]

I see Hexx has learned to take on someone that wont fight back to hard




I have also heard that Hexx was "in bed" with the Federation..... But this is even low for a Lyran

[FPF-Tobin Dax]

Note Hexx' gender preference and location in those photos......

[FPF-Tobin Dax]

In a panic, Hexx confuses escape "pod" with "pot".

[FPF-Tobin Dax]

the Lyran perspective...

[Mutilator]

the Lyran perspective...

The Mirak reality 

[Riskyllama]

While you guys decide which one is more ugly, the Lyrans have been using some ISC infiltration technology to attack Kzin depots.

http://history.cookiethievery.com/071904/

[TraumaTech]

the latest intel recovered from  section 13(and we defenately see why this was classified by section 13) show's how the feds got thier"homo fed" rep.As a result of bizarre mating practices,The Lyran Empire has declared Earthmen persona non grata,(to the male of the species) from ever interacting with Lyran females and well...... animals in particular



http://www.funny-games.biz/videos/84-horny-donkey.html

[TraumaTech]

in another feat of covert intelligence,Lyran operatives discover that relations between the mirak hegemony and the federation was not always so friendly.Taken again from section 13,we see an assault on a mirak supply depot by a federation force,in which we now can say with 100% fact why the miraks are slaved to thier homo fed masters.As you can see,the mirak forces put up a valiant fight,but ultimately were defeated by a larger (snicker) federation force


http://www.funny-games.biz/videos/395-fatcatvssmalldog.html

[IAF Lyrkiller]

He who attacks my 'nip depot will hereby will not see the light of day again.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

[Soreyes]

Well At Least we have a long range scan of the Federation Brain Trust hard at work

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a107/BaDkaRmA158Th/haha.gif

[likkerpig]

Here we see the mirak-federation co-operation.
Mirak being used as entertaining pets for a typical slave holding human... obviouly the udders of the other slave beast are filled with a 'nip concoction... free yourselves from the federation instigated dependancy feline brothers and sisters!

[Bonk]

Dairy gives us gas... practically hell on wheels.. er tracks... look out! 

[Mutilator]

In a bold move to re-write history Lyra has sent agents to replace two troublesome Federation Officers. Only time will tell if they are successful.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

In a bold move to re-write history Lyra has sent agents to replace two troublesome Federation Officers. Only time will tell if they are successful.

The mission would hinge on the sucess of Agent Hexx and if he could survive long enough.



Unfortunately he opted for the red uniform   

[SOS Cleopatra]

YAY Kitties!!!!!

How much do they cost? They are so adorable, the big furry Kzinny ones and the itty bitty cute little Lyran ones both!

[Mutilator]

Romulans aide Lyrans in fighter development...ISC seek to join triad
The joint Lyran-Romulan fighter development task agency released the following in a joint press conference.

Below we see the new Puma-Hawk upon take off.


Once this lightening fast fighter craft gets into position the Lyran mod is released with deadly precision.


Both governments are highly pleased with the new fighter which was instrumental in capturing yet another Kzinti outlaw.


In a tri-government agreement all outlaws are turned over to the Klingons for interrogation. The Klingons have been employing the skills of the highly persuasive Duck and son for these assignments.


While the Kzint have not issued any formal complaints of their treatment at the hands of the Klingons; the Federation stated the toilet paper at the Klingon facilities are rather barbaric.


The ISC has given a notice of intent to join up with the three governments. As a formal gift they provided a "Trojan horse" to be send to the Kzinti. As the Kzinti are know to like shinny things the three governments have thrown full support behind this ISC initiative.


In return for the "Trojan horse" the Lyran government has supplied the ISC with new laser swords.
 

The ISC say they are eager to get the jump on the unsuspecting Kzinti with this new alliance

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

The Kzin are not scared by Lyrans laser swords, as we have the true Jedi Master Kitties among our ranks

Like Obi-Lyrkiller Kenobi



and our Jedi can use the darkside as well



On the tech side your silly "Trojan Horse" won't work as we will capture it and modify it as you look helplessly on



Then when the massive trrop transport enters your capital it will sprout the newest generation of Kitty-bot warriors, based on the tech we gained upon defeating the Borg, grafting Lyran prisioners from our last conflict to machines to do  our bidding

at first they will appear friendly:



then they will spring to attack:



And while you are focused on this our special "Death Squad Commandos will begin their secret mission, to steal all your 'Nip



With this "nip we will transform ourselves and our Gorn allies into invincible marines and assault your cities



also we will employ the dreaded Federation section 69 elite strikeforce



as well as our own all female Cats In Pink (aka Chuut's Yeomen)  special forces



and have them deliver a vicious attack devised by the notorious KAT J'inn.  The Cats In Pink agents will cut through your defenses and present your females with your wedding contracts as interpreted by W.A.N.K.E.R.



Then we will leave you to your own women as they demand their lot in life as commanded by W.A.N.K.E.R.

Outlet malls and shopping centers will spring up catering to their whims





and any male Lyran who attempts to oppose them will be quickly subdued



They will literally skin you alive, so much that you will volunteer for capture by the Federation



and forced to admit defeat



But don't worry they will tret you humanely, giving you a nice prision outfit and slippers



and though you might go a bit stir-crazy



The Feds will give you recreation periods with the other male Lyran prisioners so that you can relieve your stress



I'm sure you will come to enjoy your new existence, except likkerpig who will feel right at home as if he never left his "dungeon" albeit with some new Lyran Gimps.   

[TraumaTech]

the first time kzintis met the gorns! COINCIDENTALLY just after chuut had returned from homo fed spy training camp on how to interrogate prisoners  http://www.boredmuch.com/view.php?id=501



our lyran deepspace signal array has picked up kzinti broadcasts from kzinti hiigh command,warning there general population of a bio genics project that has gone wrong and has effected 50% of thier population.
       On a unrelated matter,SOS Cleopatra is welcomed home from her visit to Kzinti by a adoring public   

http://www.boredmuch.com/view.php?id=492



Lyran covert intelligence operatives,sat in on recent federation council meeting as chuut addressed them on a typical rant on his accomplishments       http://www.boredmuch.com/view.php?id=376

[TraumaTech]

Surrender now, Lyrans.

Not only is it the French way, but let's face it....

... nobody beats Chuut in a picture battle. 

the problem with being a brown noser,is that occasionally ,you get dumped on



http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic1382.htm

[TraumaTech]

in an attempt to counter the romulan/lyran puma hawk,the kzinti high command displays thier new drone rack X with mixed results     http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=481          lead scientist lyrekiller denies responsibility

[Mutilator]

All hail Lord Dfly. Here is an official news update on the Lyran-Kzinti war.



Citizens continue to relax, live and thrive as we always have.



Keep enjoying your regular passtimes without fear of Kzinti filth.



Like our heroes of the past...



and  our heroes of today...



Our champions continue to battle the kzinti filth.



We are relentless in our march on their territory



Our battle hardened forces never run from a battle



We have captured more and more senior Kzinit officials



This was seen flying over many Kzinti planets and outpost



The end is near and our rewards are here.



Keep up the good fight  mes amies.