Scallywags, cheats, and liars needed for immediate employment with high pay for job with high mortality rate
Avast! you scalawagss! Put down your cheap rum and prepare to become famous! Economic War needs eight bloodthirsty pirate lords who are interested in a career of murder, plunder, betrayal, blackmail, and debauchery. Applicants should be looking with a fond eye (only one good eye required) towards a final retirement filled with complete decadence. The ability to smash small, lightly armed, innocent civilian craft with all manner of illegal arms, to movitate a large number of men (or racial equivalent) to perform criminal acts of depravation, and to get away clean under the watchful guns of an imperial navy are all considered a plus. The ability to stab your best friend in the back in order to line your own pockets is an absolute requirement. (All rules in the Pirate Code to the contrary are more like "guidelines" than real law.)
Pooftas, panzies, naval officers, and Cubs fans need not apply. (Yes, I know those are all really the same thing.)
Interested applicants should present themselves to Herr Burt in this thread in order to receive your examination (bring gold) and to receive your commission. <snicker>
You will be expected to:
1) Die. Quickly. Yes, I know that sounds harsh. But let's be honest. Half of you eight will be dead at the end of the first week, and we'll be down to only two left at the start of the third. And what good is plunder if you don't live to enjoy it? Only those convinced that they are the blackest, meanest, most dishonest pirate ever to disgrace a naval vessel (or else are so drunk and self-deluded they dont know any better) should apply
2) Lead a band of men who'd just as soon slit your throat in your sleep than give you your pimp-share of their loot on a crusade to take over the entire black market.
3) Serve as a single point of contact for your faction for campaign announcements
4) Serve as the person who tells Herr Burt which of several "special projects" your faction will undertake during each phase of the war.
5) Drink, rape, and pillage. A lot.
THIS JOB WILL BEGIN IN LATE APRIL! DON'T WAIT TO APPLY!
-Herr Burt