Topic: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past  (Read 3238 times)

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Offline kadh2000

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Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« on: October 27, 2007, 01:01:31 am »
Top 10 Reasons why Spaceballs was the best Star Wars Movie.

10.   Spaceballs explains entire Planet of the Apes series of films in one scene.
9.   George Lucas only provided the special effects for Spaceballs.
8.   Spaceball 1 was a transformer.
7.   Really cool scene where Dark Helmet, Colonel Saunders, and a Spaceball watch themselves in the movie.
6.   Dark Helmet was surrounded by Assols.
5.   “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s best friend’s ex room-mate” is a way cooler quote than “I am your father”.
4.   Star Destroyers can’t do Ludicrous Speed.
3.   Spaceballs had a Star Trek reference.
2.   Two word: Liquid Schwartz.
and the number one reason why Spaceballs was the best Star Wars Movie....
1.     Vespa was way hotter than Leia.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline kadh2000

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2007, 01:21:32 am »
A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR BLYRE

It wasn't much of course. The Screaming Dizbuster and the Stardragon were once again doomed to not come in contact with one another. Kadh had the package delivered.

Blyre, knowing Kadh's predilection for practical jokes, studied the package carefully. It was the first birthday gift the Klingon had sent him in years. Of course it was also the first time Kadh had been in the Federation in years too. Nonetheless, caution was called for. Even after a tricorder verified the package as harmless, he still felt a certain trepidation in opening it.

His fears were relieved and he was somewhat disappointed when the package did not explode in either flames or pink goo upon being opened. In fact all it contained was an envelope. Gingerly Blyre opened the envelope, expecting at least to be sprayed with powder of some kind.

Instead it contained a letter. He opened it to find a single sentence. Sometimes a good birthday present is something that can make you laugh, even in such a dark time as the ISC invasion.

It read:
           
            "The reason I think that we read different types
            of literature is to help us better express ourselves,
            both orally and writtenly..."

                       - W. Blyre. Stardate 2281.04.02
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline kadh2000

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It's Halloween so...
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2007, 01:35:38 am »
(To the tune of Ghosbusters)

Dizbuster!

If there's something strange in your cache of food
What you gonna call?
Dizbuster!
If there's something weird and it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
Dizbuster!

I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s
I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s

If Gorn steaks are running through your head
What can you call?
Dizbuster!
A late-night need is getting you out of bed
Oh, what you gonna call?
Dizbuster!

I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s
I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s

What you gonna call?
Dizbuster!
If you're all alone, pick up the phone
And call
Dizbuster!

I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s
I hear Kadh likes the girls
I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What you gonna call?
Dizbuster!
If you've had a dose of some freaky gakh
You'd better call
Dizbuster!


Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good

I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s
I’m gonna eat at MacKadh’s

Don't you eat alone, oh no
Dizbuster!
When they come to your door
Unless you don’t want no more
I think you better call
Dizbuster!
Ow!

What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
I think you'd better call
Dizbuster!
What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
I can't hear you...
What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
Louder
Dizbuster!
What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
Who can call
Dizbuster!
What you gonna call
Dizbuster!
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline kadh2000

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The Highwayman
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2007, 02:01:32 am »
   It was called the Gypsy’s Ribbon by the few who knew about it.  On the Klingon star charts, it was identified only as Pulsar 1138-T.  By following a particular distortion of the Ribbon’s pulses a careful captain could navigate the Purple Moor Nebula to Polo’s base. 

   The Highwayman was a solo raider of the privateer class.  Three Kzinti-style drone racks supplemented its main phaser armament.  It was easily capable of defeating the individual merchant ships that were its usual prey.  The occasional ISF ship that it ran into seldom returned to its base.  Her crew complement was one hundred seventy, over half of whom were raiders for boarding and capturing ships.  Most of the rest worked in the cargo areas.  Captain McKenna could handle this ship with twenty men.

   Her holds were empty as the Highwayman came riding upon the cloudy sea.  The reason for the visit to Polo’s Inn was personal.  Captain McKenna had a fondness for Bess, Polo’s black-eyed daughter.  McKenna carried his personal sense of style with him.  He had a flair for the roguish.  His clothing fit him perfectly with never a wrinkle. He wore a coat of claret-velvet and had a bunch of lace at his chin. A twinkle of jewelry shone from the butt of his disrupter.  His high leather boots clattered and clashed over the plasteel floor of the Orion base. 

   He tapped with his ring at the entrance to Polo’s dwelling.  He whistled a tune as he waited.  The door opened and who should be standing there but Bess, Polo’s daughter.  She had plaited a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

   “One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I’m after a prize tonight, but I shall be back with full cargo holds before the morning light.  If they should press me sharply and harry me through the day, then look for me by the Ribbon-light. Watch for me by the Ribbon-light.   I’ll come to thee by the Ribbon-light, though hell should bar the way.”
   
   She loosened her hair in the doorway.  His face burned like a brand as the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast.  He kissed its sweet black waves, tapped on the wall with his ring, and hurried away.

   He did not come in the morning.  He did not come at noon.  Out of the tawny light of the nebula following the beacon of the Gypsy’s Ribbon, a Klingon squadron came flying up to Polo’s Inn.

   They spoke no word to Polo.  They confiscated his contraband and drank much of his spirits instead.  They took his daughter and bound her to a chair in the station’s control room.  Klingons manned the control stations and their ships faded into the nebula.  There was death at every station and hell at the viewscreen for Bess could see it focused on the path McKenna would sail.

   They had tied her up with many a sniggering jest.  “Now keep good watch!” and they kissed her.  She had heard the dead man say “look for me by the Ribbon-light. Watch for me by the Ribbon-light.   I’ll come to thee by the Ribbon-light.”   

   She twisted her hands but all the bands were tight.  She writhed her hands until her fingers were wet with sweat or blood.  They stretched and strained in the darkness and the hours crawled by like years until, now, on the stroke of midnight, cold on the stroke of midnight, she did it!  One free moment at least was hers!

   Beep-beep!  Had they heard it?  The alarms were ringing clear.  Beep-beep on the console.  Were they deaf that they did not hear?  Down the Ribbon of starlight, through the cloud of the nebula the Highwayman came flying, flying, flying.  The Klingons looked to their weapons. She sat up straight and still.

   Beep, in the frosty silence.  Beep, in the echoing night.  Nearer it came and nearer.  Her face was like a light.  Her eyes grew wide for a moment.  She drew one last deep breath.  Then her hand moved in the starlight, a phaser shattered the starlight, a disrupter shattered her breast in the starlight.  She warned him with her death.

   The ship turned and spurred out of the nebula.  He did not know she sat bowed, with her head o’er the console, drenched with her own red blood.  Not until the dawn he heard it.  His face grew grey to hear how Bess, Polo’s daughter, Polo’s black-eyed daughter had watched for her love in the starlight and died in the darkness there.

   Back, he came like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky.  With the engines smoking behind him and his drones ready to fly.  Blood-red were his boots in the golden light, wine-red was his velvet coat when they shot him down in the nebula, down like a dog in the nebula and he lay in his blood on the Highwayman, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

   Still of a winter’s night, they say, when the Gypsy’s Ribbon shines over the Purple Moor, the Highwayman comes sailing, sailing, sailing.  The Highwayman comes sailing up to Polo’s Inn’s door.
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."

Offline Andromeda

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2007, 12:54:41 am »
post some kadhities!
this sig was eaten by a grue

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2007, 12:44:54 pm »
I remember these. I do believe (without checking) that The Highwayman is up on my woefully neglected (by me) website (R.I.P - April 07).
Come visit me at:  www.Starbase23.net

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Offline Hstaphath_XC

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2007, 04:31:39 pm »
Thanks Kadh!  Your version of the Highwayman is one of my all time favs.  Would you mind if I put the Highwayman and Dizbuster songs on Best of XC Radio at some point?
Hilaritas sapientiae et bonae vitae proles.

Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2007, 08:46:23 pm »
Yup, that's where I got the Gypsy Ribbon for my stories.  Was my little...well, okay, huge, it's a freakin' nebula...homage.
"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline kadh2000

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Re: Recovered Artifacts from Forums Past
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2007, 10:04:09 pm »
Would you mind if I put the Highwayman and Dizbuster songs on Best of XC Radio at some point?


Knock yourself out.  Would be fun!

Yup, that's where I got the Gypsy Ribbon for my stories.  Was my little...well, okay, huge, it's a freakin' nebula...homage.


Thought so.  :) 
"The Andromedans," Kadh said, "will never stop coming.  Not until they are all destroyed or we are."