Topic: circle flies...  (Read 977 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Sirgod

  • Whooot Master Cattle Baron
  • Global Moderator
  • Vice Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 27844
  • Gender: Male
circle flies...
« on: January 15, 2006, 01:07:41 pm »
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed and, in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said—"Well yeah, if that's what they are—I never heard of circle flies."

So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey… wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

The farmer says, "Oh no, Officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."

The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though

-----------------------------------

Stephen
"You cannot exaggerate about the Marines. They are convinced to the point of arrogance, that they are the most ferocious fighters on earth - and the amusing thing about it is that they are."- Father Kevin Keaney, Chaplain, Korean War

Offline likkerpig

  • Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 2614
  • Gender: Male
Re: circle flies...
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2006, 07:06:17 pm »
LOL... keep it up and we'll have you to a grand by spring!

Here is one for ya, pretty clean  ::)

I was a very happy person.  My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.  There was
only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger
sister.

She always wore mini-skirts,and generally was braless.  She would regularly
bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private
parts.  It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone
else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations.  She was alone when I arrived, and she
whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to
me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm
going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,
just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and
made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and
headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping!  With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me
and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for  a better man for our daughter.  Welcome to the
family."

And the moral of this story is:






 
Always keep your condoms in your car.
"Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby."



Offline C-Los

  • Lt. Junior Grade
  • *
  • Posts: 436
  • Gender: Male
Re: circle flies...
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2006, 05:51:10 am »
 :rofl:          :rofl:


Good Ones !!    1+ for both of ya !!   ;)
C-Los, Commanding Officer U.S.S. Scorpion




"Life is short, have fun and enjoy !"

Offline Capt. Mike

  • Live from Granpa's Grotto
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 6616
  • Gender: Male
Re: circle flies...
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2006, 05:59:23 am »
LP, I didn't know you had it in you....great moral


Mike
Summum ius summa iniuria.

The more law, the less justice.

Cicero, De Officiis, I, 33

"It doesn't, and you can't, I won't, and it don't
it hasn't, it isn't, it even ain't, and it shouldn't
it couldn't"
FZ, 1974

My chops were not as fast...[but] I just leaned more on what was in my mind than what was in my chops.  I learned a long time ago that one note can go a long way if it's the right one, and it will probably whip the guy with twenty notes.
 --Les Paul