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Topic: A Little Time To Spare...  (Read 10135 times)

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Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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A Little Time To Spare...
« on: August 11, 2005, 09:53:20 am »
Hi all. Since you guys and gals are suffering a bit from Andie Withrdawal--a new and startling, though thoroughly and deeply satisfying new ailment I've noticed lately *grin*--I've decided to thow you all a bone.

For an Andie short story set 3 years further on from 'First Steps', please follow this link, and by all means let me know what you think of it on this topic here, and think of it as your commenting thread. As you may have guessed, it's called 'A Little Time To Spare...'

http://www.starbase23.net/Stories-Jaeih-06TimetoSpare.html

Read on, digest, discuss, and let me know what you liked and disliked about any aspect of the story. Just as a bit of background into the writing style, I wrote this whole story after starting 'First Steps' but before finishing it, having stalled in the middle. Doing this helped me complete 'First Steps' in such an excellent manner.
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2005, 12:57:02 pm »
I like it.

Of course after badgering you to actually let Andie, ya' know, get jiggy with someone...anyone...just no more angst!...I'm pretty sure you'd have Grim send his Predators after me if I didn't. ;D
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"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2005, 07:24:41 am »
Okay, I have to admit to disappointment. I thought this was quite a good little tale, maybe not to everyone's tastes, but worthy of some comment.

What is it? You didn't follow the link to the story? Don't like going to another site to get your read? Did go, did read, just didn't like it? What?

Let me know, people. I may not be that huge a commenter myself, but I do give it a fair shot. If you give Ratboy the time of day, please let me at least give you my timezone...
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"I'm just observing. You know, making observations."
"Great. We'll stick a telescope in your head and put a dome over it, and we can call you an observatory."
Paris and Rory, from "The Gilmore Girls."

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2005, 11:39:09 am »
Haven't got the time to follow the link. Will comment shortly. Have to study hard because after getting the Java Sun Programming certification I now also have to get Java Sun Webcomponent. So I'm studying.
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Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Grim Reaper

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2005, 12:03:16 pm »
I found it to be an excellent vignette... I could of course nitpick and say that the crits you have on La'ra's vignette can be said about yours as well imho. But both are good.
So just one crit:
Couldn't you make been a bit more explicit

j/k (though I wouldn't have minded)

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Snickers@DND: If there is one straight answer in that bent little head of yours, you'd better start spillin' it pretty damn quick, or I'm gonna take a large, blunt object, roughly the size of Kallae AND his hat and shove it lengthwise up a crevice of your being so seldomly cleaned that even the denizens of the nine hells would not touch it with a 10-feet rusty pole

Offline Andromeda

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2005, 12:14:49 pm »
 
Quote
Don't like going to another site to get your read?

Yes, I am that lazy.
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Offline kadh2000

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2005, 02:34:18 pm »
I've been both busy and away.  I'll read it and comment when I have the time.
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Offline KOTH-KieranXC, Ret.

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2005, 05:54:43 pm »
Actually, I pop in at SB 23 every so often and read what's there, so I've read just about everything there already, including this story. Speaking of which, I enjoyed it, Jaeih. You ask me, Starfleet officers are too often portrayed(mostly in TV/movies) as virtuous at best, prudes at worst. This little story was a nice breath of fresh air - and featuring a hot blue Andorian chick, to boot. ;D
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Offline Jaeih t`Radaik

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2005, 09:54:07 am »
Thanks guys & gals. :-)

I'm guilty of this myself, actually. You think, "well, i'll not comment on it if I don't like it, I've not got time to give the kind of answer they want, I'll read /comment on it later."

I'm going to start giving little comments on everyone who posts from now on. Even if it is just an "Ihave no time now, I'll have a look alter/I read it, I have no immediate opinion & need to think about it/I have no time for a proper comment, will comment later" or whatever.

Lead by example, as they say. Can't honestly expect all the comments I want if I'm unwilling to do so in return.

Anyway, thanks again. Sorry for forcing the issue, but I wanted to know.

PS's.
Grim: Good luck with your SUN JAVA certification. Keep up your studies, but just remember to take a little time off to prevent a brain strain. Asa to your second comment, I keep teasing La'ra and Andy that the is an XXX-rated version on my hard disk. Maybe if you ask nicely, or do anything I ask (heh heh heh) I'll e-mail it to you. *wicked grin*

Rommie: Stop being so lazy! You're missing a good story!

Kadh: Perfectly understandable, and after all you did warn us you would be busy/away. No worries.

K-Fo: Yeah, that's one of the points I'm trying to drive home with my stories. Ordinary people going about their ordinary lives as part of the Star Fleet or Grand Fleet. Not paragons of virtue or the best of the best. This is Regular Navy, the people who do the grunt work. :-) And thanks for your loyalty, Kieran. I certainly appreciate you, and no doubt Andy is thrilled he has a regular reader! Here's hoping I can get 'Kestrel' finished soon so you have something new to read. I think Andy's abandoned 'Raider' until I'm done, as it depends to some level on the fall-out from 'Kestrel', but we'll see.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2005, 09:41:57 am by Jaeih t`Radaik »
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"I'm just observing. You know, making observations."
"Great. We'll stick a telescope in your head and put a dome over it, and we can call you an observatory."
Paris and Rory, from "The Gilmore Girls."

Offline Andromeda

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2005, 01:18:12 pm »
Okay, I did read it before on starbase23.  It's a great little sex scene but that's really all it is.  It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside.  On the other hand the two characters both did have personalities so if you want to call it a character exercise of some sort then it's okay.  I think it must fulfill about every guy's voyueristic fantasy.  *stop rambling*
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2005, 08:28:15 am »
Quote from: Andromeda on August 19, 2005, 01:18:12 pm
It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside. 

I think a vignette or aside was precisely what she intended it to be.

And my voyeuristic fantasies all involve the librarian from 'The Mummy', thank you very much. ;D
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"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2005, 08:28:23 pm »
I could do the typically guy thing of "Huh...huh...huh..."

But I won't.  ;D

I really like this little vignette (as that is all it's suppose to be, after all), and as Andromeda says it is a great character scene, as well as a great sex scene teaser.

Jaeih, I hope you do a lot more like these.
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Offline Sethan

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2005, 09:19:14 pm »
Quote from: Commander La'ra on August 20, 2005, 08:28:15 am
Quote from: Andromeda on August 19, 2005, 01:18:12 pm
It needs some meat to be more than a vignette or an aside. 


I think a vignette or aside was precisely what she intended it to be.

And my voyeuristic fantasies all involve the librarian from 'The Mummy', thank you very much. ;D


Rachel Weisz?

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Offline Sethan

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2005, 09:31:48 pm »
BTW, nicely done, Jaeih.
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Offline Commander La'ra

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2005, 09:40:56 pm »
Why yes, Sethan, that'd be her!

*fans himself*
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"Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and earth, and in the sky, than perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the earth, lies the Twilight Zone."
                                                                 ---------Rod Serling, The Last Flight

Offline CaptJosh

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2005, 07:32:24 am »
Fans? Why do I suspect that what's actually going uses a word with one letter's difference?
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2005, 08:41:31 pm »
Damn, ye cut out all the carpet-munchin! The best part!

Wouldn't be an...un-cut version ye could email me---eyes shift suspisciously---

I liked most greatly, my dear. I look forward to any Andie story. Keep 'em comin' figuratively and literally! ::)

--thu guv'!
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Offline Scottish Andy

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2005, 10:28:25 am »
Belay that kind of talk, ye scurvy land-lubber!  ;D

There are ladies present! (Yes, even though one of them did indeed write it...lol)
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Offline Andromeda

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2005, 10:45:00 am »
The story was tasteful.  That comment was not.  Big difference.
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Offline Governor Ronjar

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Re: A Little Time To Spare...
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2005, 06:08:28 pm »
My apologies to all those offended. Did not realise the extent of y'all's delicate sensibilities.

I am about as uncivilized as they get, my humor is no different.

But I did enjoy the story, espescially the scene within the apartment. Reminded me of dates I've been on. The whole coming up with really suave sounding plans to basicly have at my lady friend, and have them all flit away just as soon as she turns around to look at me... Ah...the chase is almost better than the capture!

Any who, I didn't write the above for more than a chuckle. To Jaeih, if the above seemed crude, then to you espescially: I am sorry.

I take my leave.
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'It's a lot of hard work being a mean bastard...' --Captain Eric Finlander, CO USS Bedford (The Bedford Incident)

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