Ok, they are from Palladium's Rift game.... but I think all you D&Der's can relate to more than a few of them.
# Super Samas? Hmmph, all Samas suck!
# He’s unarmed? Ok, I want to kill him in hand to hand.
# I’ll let it hit me; my amour has lots of MDC.
# I’m saving that spell for when I REALLY need it.
# What new CS army?
# Phase technology, why would I need that? My NG ion pistol works just fine.
# Dragon, Schmagon, I’ve got a plan.
# Trust me, I know what I am doing.
# 30 seconds till the nuke goes off? Ah, plenty of time. I lean back and cracks open a beer.
# Xitixic are from the first book, before everything got powerful, they’re no threat.
# CHARGE!!!
# No worries, my E-Clip is full.
# I go talk to the mysterious figure in the black cloak, sitting at that table in the dark corner of the bar.
# Let me think about this for a second.
# Click? What click? I didn’t hear anything.
# Don’t worry, I’ve got the security systems skill.
# No prob., I’ll only fail if I roll a 1.
# My gun does 4d6x1000 MDC!!!! There is no way this guy is gonna survive.
# Hey guys, look what I found! Mjolnir, Thor’s hammer!
# Where did that Splugorth come from and why is he foaming at the mouth?
# Don’t worry, they wouldn’t bother to trap this way in.
# Ok, this is what my character is gonna do. I’m gonna jump from the plane, grab the Samas by its arm, put a fusion block in its intake, jump away out of the radius, make my body flat so I fall slower, then touch my summon griffin tattoo, land on it, and fly away. (this was actually been attempted)
# We’ll take them completely by surprise!
# Don’t worry, hearing our plans won’t affect what the GM does, he is impartial!
# Hey there {insert your GM’s name}, what are you grabbing all those dice for?
# Let him cast the spell, it can’t affect me.
# Psionics are nothing compared to my Robot’s 600 missiles. Hey, what does Tele-mechanics do anyway?
# They won’t find us, I covered our tracks.
# {insert your Gm’s name}, you have no idea what you are doing.
# Dude, I’d rather piss on your ashes then dance on your grave.
# Your mama!
# Those vampires can’t get in here; all we have to do is wait till daylight. Hey, where did all this mist come from?
# I pull my gun before he draws his.
# Badges? We don’t need no steenkeen badges!
# You want to try that stuff with me tough guy?
# CS juicers? Yeah right, those are illegal!
# {Mutant character newly rifted from Heroes Unlimited}: let’s go to this Chi-Town everyone keeps telling us about. They sound like good people.
# What do ya mean, “my fly is down”?
# Hah! My plane can fly faster than missiles!
# Ever notice how the GM never makes any of our equipment breaks down?
# Stop whining, my 6th Sense power will give us plenty of warning.
# He won’t be expecting this!
# That’s not what it says on page 65 of the rule book
# Don’t forger; all body armor comes with radiation shielding.
# Time to sit back and have a smoke.
# Remember the Alamo!
# My character goes and hits on the good looking woman at the bar {come on, we all know that women will be the death of us all}
# You worry too much, I checked out this cyber-doc’s credentials…it isn’t a chop shop…
# With this magic item, my character is now INVINCIBLE!
# Anyone else smell something burning?
# What does ”engarde, my sword is a Souldrinker” mean?
# Can’t we all just get along?
# I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
# Ewwwww…look at me, I’m so scared.
# What kinda stupid name is “Pogtal” for a race?
# Now was it throw the grenade on three, or count three THEN throw it?
# So, like, are all you Amazons lesbians or what?
# Why did I have to put all my magic weapon tattoos on my butt?
# Ok, so I was wrong, you gun IS bigger then mine…
# Unnnnmmmmm...why didn’t my missile hurt him?
# I think this is the way out…
# I’m gonna try and pick his pocket.
# Geez, nothing seems to be a challenge for my 8th level Cosmo-Knight anymore.
# Are we gonna let him get away with saying that? LET’S GET HIM BOYS!
# {1st level vagabond to Dog Boy} meet any good hydrants lately?
# This isn’t AD&D, nobody casts protective spells on their equipment.
# {In a secret not to GM} when it is my turn for guard duty, I am going to sneak away with all the party’s money.
# Oh yeah? I bet my character could kick your character’s ass!
# No sweat boys, my dodge bonus is high enough.
# {Male player to female player} wanna go in the kitchen and grab some chips for us, thanks babe.
# Guns don’t jam in Rifts, look in the main book, there are no rules for it.
# Oh sh*t.
# What are you guys afraid of? It’s only a group of fairies…(or morph-cats…)
# Hey kid; put that down, it’s not a toy. ZAP!
# Man, even for a dragon, you’re ugly.
# Women players don’t have the right mentality to play Rifts.
# How much? $750,000! For that piece of crap? Later ya cheat; you aren’t the only Splugorth arms merchant on Phase World.
# You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would ya?
# All right, I’ve almost reached the top of the cliff. {to GM} I just got to make one more climbing roll, right?
# {Player fighting Kittani Serpent Armor to GM} what do ya mean they got autododge?
# Ok, my City-Rat sneaks up on Odin and gives him a deathblow!
# Come on, the campaign just started, you seriously think the GM is going to throw anything hard at us this early?
# Geez I’m bored, when is it my turn to do something?
# Is it just me, or did it get real quiet all of a sudden?
# Ah, its just a red herring the GM made up to scare us.
# Fire Elemental? No prob., I pullout my TW water pistol and roll for initiative.
# {one player to another} NPC my character for a second, I got to go to the bathroom.
# Lightning spells never strike the same place twice.
# My character has a horror factor; I’ll try and scare the CS troops away.
# I take my armor off and go to sleep.
# {player to GM} You want to know who was walking last in the group?
# Glitterboys suck! They don’t even get missiles!
# Honest, I wasn’t reading the adventure. The book just fell off the table and flipped to that page when I picked it up.
# How deadly can the Pecos Kingdom be, Palladium hasn’t even one a book on it yet!
# I go up to the crazy and play with the knobs coming out of his head.
# I don’t care how much MDC it has; it shouldn’t have pissed me off!
# Geez, does this GM ever like to power trip?
# I’m not leaving till I kill something.
# Are you looking at me?
# Ow.
# OOPS!!
# I’m a Borg, I think I can handle it!
# Just beat the sh*t out of him and run.
# What do you do, run, run VERY fast until you reach camp or a BIGGER dragon.
# Only 5% chance that (insert action) will happen.