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Topic: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!  (Read 2144 times)

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Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« on: April 21, 2005, 09:58:18 am »


Hey, J'inn:

I just heard on the radio that DC mayor Williams feels that he may not have enough energy left to run for a third term.  You know what that means, yes?  A return of Marion Barry.  If you don't do something soon, we will once again be treated to pearls of wisdom such as:

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate"

"People blame me because these water mains break.  But I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then?  WOULD IT?!"

"First it was an exotic dance club, not a strip club.  And second, what can I say?  I'm a night owl."

"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather"

And, of course, the ever popular,  "Bitch set me up."


Can you do this to Washington?  Can you make your clients suffer that much, when you KNOW they are dumb enough to elect him again?  You need to step in.

All lawyers want to be politicians somdeday anyway.  Why not take the plunge early?  We can make it a "D2 campaign" and get your friends here to help you win the election.  I'll do the whole Karl Rove thing.

Agave can work the cocktail party circuit
Kroma can handle publicity
Hexx can be your spokesman to the press
DH can do cold calls to all your prospective constituents
Chuut can supply booze to all of your rallies (gratis)
Bonk can sneak in and vote.  (It's DC, after all)
Toasty can fly in from Vegas to help "count" ballots
Pesty can make an easy-to-use install package for the ballot machines, to be sure they are counted correctly.
762 can lay out your new city clean air policy

And once you've won, I won't ask for much in return for this great idea.   Just a large security detail, the ability to arrest anyone I want, one of the new Aston Martins, and..... oh yea, one more thing:  the ability to park anywhere I want in DC anytime I want.  You can do that one little thing for me, right?

-S'Cipio


"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2005, 01:32:02 pm »
J'inn as mayor let me envision:

Toll roads where scantily clad toll attendents take the increased fee of $5 by having driver place it in their garter.

Tap water faucets now with a third dial added, now there is hot water, cold water, and scotch.  Water bills are at record highs.

Due toi irritation that the "Mall" in DC has no real shopping, the Washington monument will be castrated and replaced by the newest Smithsonian addition, the Museum of Discount Shopping, which will include the nations largest outlet mall.  J'inn might be mayor but we know who the boss will be.

All DC malls will be open 24/7

Casual Fridays will be replaced by "Suck up Saturdays" at the mayors office.

Open season will be declared on Squirrels in the District of Columbia, with tax incentives rewarded for pelts.

.........

Interesting    ;D


Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2005, 02:16:41 pm »
J'inn as mayor let me envision:

Toll roads where scantily clad toll attendents take the increased fee of $5 by having driver place it in their garter.

Tap water faucets now with a third dial added, now there is hot water, cold water, and scotch.  Water bills are at record highs.


So you approve of the candidacy!  ;)  Do I hear a second?

-S'Cipio

"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline Kroma BaSyl

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2005, 02:21:45 pm »
J'inn as mayor let me envision:

Toll roads where scantily clad toll attendents take the increased fee of $5 by having driver place it in their garter.

Tap water faucets now with a third dial added, now there is hot water, cold water, and scotch.  Water bills are at record highs.


So you approve of the candidacy!  ;)  Do I hear a second?

-S'Cipio



I'll second it. Although I am not a DC resident legally eligable to vote in that election, but then again I am from Chicago and that has never stopped me before. My dead grandmother seconds it as well.
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Offline Father Ted

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2005, 07:43:18 pm »
Hey S'cippy don't be afraid, I'll volunteer to be his campaign's Chaplain.
He's gonna need spiritual guidance on this long and winding road.
Speaking words of wisdom, he'll say about strippers manning toll booths "Let it be".
Do it J'inn! They love you yeah, yeah, yeah!

Sorry, I'm having a brain cramp and can't remember too many "Beatles" songs right now, unless you want me to switch to "The Who"

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Offline KAT J'inn

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2005, 08:30:16 pm »
Well well  . . . I see Scippy and his band of miscreants is at it with the insults and the bannable offenses.

Let's see . . .

The wonderful District of Columbia.

-  Former murder capital
-  Elected a Crack addict as mayor
-  Re-elected him
-  Declared himself mayor for life
-  Lost
-  Got elected to City Council
-  Crack Capital
-  Visitors handed a map and a Glock at the airport
-   An educated person is one that can shoot left handed out the window while driving


AND YOU WANT ME TO BE MAYOR OF THIS CITY!!!!


Me!!!

J'inn!!!

Lawyerous Maximus!!

Mr. Wonderful!!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Scippy this time you have gone too far with the insults.

BAN HIS ARSE FREY!!!


Really Scippy.   There was no reason to insult the good people of DC like that.   You bastich!!!




Offline Gook

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2005, 12:52:09 am »
Let's see . . .

The wonderful District of Columbia.

-  Former murder capital
-  Elected a Crack addict as mayor
-  Re-elected him
-  Declared himself mayor for life
-  Lost
-  Got elected to City Council
-  Crack Capital
-  Visitors handed a map and a Glock at the airport
-   An educated person is one that can shoot left handed out the window while driving


AND YOU WANT ME TO BE MAYOR OF THIS CITY!!!!




Actually it is a very sound proposition, go for it Will right up your street, Ooops forgot you live in Maryland, where the posh peeps hang out ;)

Think of the eeerrr ummmm "business opportunities" :D

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Offline Sirgod

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2005, 09:42:13 am »
Think of the Kick backs you can get.

Stephen Hitting J'inn where It really counts, His wallet.
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Offline Father Ted

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2005, 05:31:58 pm »
Think of the Kick backs you can get.

Stephen Hitting J'inn where It really counts, His wallet.

As long as he isn't caught on videotape with a hooker and a crackpipe, he should be set for life!

But just in case you do get caught with a hooker and a crackpipe, remember these words, J'inn: "The *itch set me up!"

Captain: USS Majestik Moose NCC-1712


"Live as brave men; and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts." -Cicero
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Offline FPF-DieHard

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Re: A different type of D2 Campaign: J'inn for Mayor!
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2005, 05:34:19 pm »


As long as he isn't caught on videotape with a hooker and a crackpipe, he should be set for life!


There goes my political career . . .
Who'd thunk that Star-castling was the root of all evil . . .


 

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