Scanky Old Sluts eh?
It seems to me we are far above comparison to the Grannies Drag Association. Again jealousy raising its ugly tutu. What you need is someone who could look beyond your physical repulsiveness, I'd suggest a warehouse worker, who could sweep you off your feet by using his forklift on your love handles.
As for Romulan men, it seems that their R Torps have a little distance on your shriveled little G Torps, leaving a girl much more satisfied when they are launched. Of course they require a bit more power to charge, so not sure if you Gorn would have the energy for it. It seems your hardpoint mounts tend to swivel limply, and can't remain in a fixed arc, the R Torps on the other hand remain firm and pointed straight ahead, just where a girl likes em.