Topic: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx  (Read 1632 times)

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Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« on: January 14, 2005, 08:01:22 am »

This was the beginning of the RolePlaying thread form GW2.  Somehow, this thread didn't make the transfer over from Taldren.  (I suspect sabotage!  I'm being suppresed!)  With Hexx making royal noises again, I thought it was time to bring it back and remind everyone of the ...... glory..... of being Hexx.

This was the lead-in to a nice kick-off story by J'inn, which had a Lyarn agent using a WWI era pistol (since it didn't have an energy supply, and thus wouldn't show on a weapons scan) to murder a Kzin Archduke "Furr in da End", and start the war for GW2.  (OK, I made up the Furr-in-da-End part.)  I don't have that one, but if anyone else does please post it!

And feel free to twist the story onwards as you see fit.

-S'Cipio the scribe
"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2005, 08:01:58 am »
Long ago.........




The Gorn captive was dead as soon as the first disruptor blast pierced his heart, and then the next six shots did him no good at all.  The Gorn neurosystem, however, is famously slow, and it was several minutes before his body got the message through to his brain that he had been killed.  Those minutes were more than enough for him to rip the four Royal Lyran Guardsmen limb from limb, and to get his hands around the neck of the Lyran monarch, King Sten.

"Oh bother," said the Gorn, as he looked at the gaping cavity that had once been his chest.  And then he died without further ado.

King Sten was impressed.  "Amazing strength and stamina," he remarked, rubbing the welts now forming around his windpipe.  "Everything We heard about these strange aliens is true."

Kzinbane, Lyran Minister of Intelligence, bowed in obsequience.  "I am so sorry, your majesty!"  he lied.  "We had no idea he was strong enough to snap those manacles, but they broke as soon as you enterred the room.  He must have been biding his time, hopeing for a last chance at vengeance.  I told the security team to check the strength of those chains."  Kzinbane did not mention that he had weakened the chains himself after having them checked.  He felt no need to mention this and end his life, since he still thought he'd make a better king than Sten.

"Shall I have today's security team executed?"  He hoped the Royal answer would be yes.  The only other possible action for the King was to have Kzinbane executed.

"No," said King Sten, and Kzinbane nearly fainted with dread.  "No, the Gorn prisoner has already killed them all for Us.  Most impressively, I might add.  We will honor him in the appropriate manner.  Have both him and Our former guards taken to the royal kitchen and oven-roasted in a basil sauce.  Their strength will become Our strength.  We will become a better king."

"Right away, your Majesty!" gasped Kzinbane with relief.  He bowed until his forehead touched the floor, then backed out of the royal chamber while still in that posture.

"Wait!" cried Sten.  Kzinbane paused in the doorway and his fur became matted with nervous sweat.  He was certain that the king was going to order him to leap into the ovens after the Gorn and the unfortunate guards.  "Bring me the second Gorn ambassador," Sten continued,  "the one called Warlock."

"In a basil sauce as well?"

"No, alive.  I want to talk to him.  I must learn more about these so-called Gorn.  And I have a use for him.  The Duke of Dark Star County has been complaining of more rebellions from lowly peasants who feel they should be treated as equals with nobility.  He has asked Us for a cold-blooded assassin to execute the ringleaders.  Well, We may decide to send him an assassin with very cold blood indeed.  And we may as well send that *thing* named M'Ress along as well.  It would be the first time We had ever gotten any use out of any of *them*.  Besides, *they* taste terrible.

"Go and bring this Warlock to Us.  We will make him Our offer.  If he agrees, he may join Us in celebration by eating his comrade.  Ask him what his favorite garnish is for such a dish.  If not, we'll add him and M'Ress to the meal."

"Right away, My Liege!" answered Kzinbane, bowing until his entire face was pressed against the floor.  Then he fairly sprinted out of the room, bumping his nose along the cobblestones.  He wanted to be gone before King Sten asked for any more garnish; perhaps a secretly-regicidal garnish named Kzinbane.

*********

In the cramped galley aboard the Lyran Heavy Cruiser Potemkin, junior crewman Hexx was having food problems of his own.  His plate was filled with wriggling worms.   They looked horrible.  They tasted horrible.  They smelled worse.  The only advantage they held as food was that they were alive, while the standard fare for non-officers aboard a Lyran heavy cruiser was always served quite dead.

Hexx held his nose and swallowed another mouthful.  Being smaller than his litter-mates, he had grown up eating all the worst food in his family.  This food had kept him strong, however, and fueled his hate.  He was the only cub of his parents still alive, and all of his siblings had died by his own hand.  He was used to rotten food.  These worms, too, would keep him strong.  Strong enough for revenge.

Hexx stared at five officers walking through the galley, leading livestock into their own mess for dinner.  "Officers are worms too," he muttered under his breath.  "And some day I will eat all of you alive."  He thought on this with satisfication.  The thought brought a chuckle to his throat -- something he did not do often -- but no one else heard it.  The sound of his spiteful laughter was drowned out by the shouts of another enlisted crewman.

"What is this filth!" screamed crewman Sergie's Claw, waving a handful of worms to the passing officers.  "Are these worms from rotten meat?  We have had enough of rotten meat!"

One officer deigned to lower himself to respond.  "No, it is gagh.  It is a delicacy among our Klingon allies, and you lowly peasant crewman should feel privliged that you are allowed to eat it.  Do as you are told, and serve your Duchy for once.  At least your meal is alive."

"Bah!" cried Sergie's Claw.  "This is offal, fit only for Kzinti animals."  The entire galley of assembled crewmen, and all five officers, gasped in horror.  Seldom did someone hate something so much that they would actually mention the Kzinti by name.

"You will eat! hissed the ranking officer, baring his teeth and unsheathing his claws."

"I will not!"

"You must!", broke in the chef, hoping to avoid trouble in his galley.  "We have nothing else to serve."

"Don't be so sure," cautioned Hexx.  No one was sure if he was staring at the officers or their livestock when he said this, but everyone knew that both suggestions bore a death penalty. 

"Come with me," order Sergei's Claw to the rest of the crewman, and he turned to walk out of the galley.  "We will not give them the satisfaction of eating their filth.  If they will not give us real food, we will buy our meals in the commisary."

The officers let them go without trouble.  They knew they should have killed at least Hexx and Sergei's Claw, but  they also knew they were outnumbered 30 to five.

They did, however, carry troubling news to Captain Eyes-in-Side of Head:  There was mutiny boiling on the Potemkin.   

To be continued......

-S'Cipio

"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2005, 08:03:38 am »
Long Ago......



Lt. Commander Laflin strode proudly down the corridor of the Lryan CA Potemkin, humming the tune of ESG Cheese Ueber Alles.  The little martial ditty never failed to lift his spirits, and they so badly needed lifting after the unpleasantness in yesterdays mess hall.  Who did those crewmen think they were, getting out of line like that?  Serving aboard the Potemkin was military duty in the name of King Sten.  When you were given food, you ate it so that you could live to serve King Sten.  If members of the nobility (meaning officers) were given better rations, well, rank (meaning station) had its privileges.  Those peasant crewman should be grateful they were allowed to serve at all.

Laflin was brought up short by the sight of a fluffy bunny running down the corridor in a blind panic.  With suspicion, he went to the commissary.

"Bent Tooth!" he shouted at the lame storekeeper when he arrived.  "I just saw a bunny running down the hall.  Did he escape from one of your vending machines?  That?s sloppy!"

"Oh, no, s-shir," replied the storekeeper in his whistling tones.  His broken teeth marred his speech, and made his voice unpleasant.  "I take great care of my s-shpecialty items-sh.  I do know that bunnies-sh are your favorite s-shnack, and I would never lose-sh one careless-shly.  But there have been so many sales-sh today that one or two are bound to have gotten away."

"Sales?" demanded the angry officer.  He looked at the cages behind the storekeeper and saw that so many were empty that he was bound to go to be without a fresh bunny before the week was out.  "Who have you been selling my bunnies to?"

"Why, the crew, s-shir.  Every crewman on the Potemkin has been to my s-shtore today.  I doubt if the galley has served a s-shingle meal."

Laflin snarled and unsheathed his claws, but Bent Tooth found that he cowered for no reason.  The storekeeper was not the object of the officer?s wrath.  Instead the Lt. Commander walked briskly to the mess, found it was indeed still deserted, and then smashed his way into the crew?s berth.  Most of the crew were packed like sardines into hammocks, trying to get as much sleep as possible while not on duty, but young junior-crewman Hexx was on the floor.  He was swatting a bunny to make it run, then catching it and repeating the game.

"You!  Peasant!" shouted Laflin.  The crew all awoke, but stayed in their hammocks.  A very nasty disruptor pistol protruded from the officer?s hip and they wanted no part of it.  "What do you think you are doing with that rabbit?  And what do you mean, buying out the commisary?s supply?"

The crew lacked spirit in the face of an armed officer, but Hexx saw no danger in the truth.  "I am playing with my food.  And I bought it because I shouldn?t have to eat gagh."

Laflin raged.  He was to go to bed without his bunny-snack because some snivling cub was bothered by eating gagh? Fortunately, being a professionally-trained officer, he kept his rage in check.  "What are a few maggots to a peasant?" he demanded simply.  Then, instead of killing the upstart, he simply backhanded him across the room.  (Claws in, for mercy.)  Then Laflin strode to the captain?s quarters while Hexx curled in a corner and cried.  He intended to report the crew?s insubordination to Captain Eyes-in-Side of Head.  There would be vengeance for his missed snack.

The crew looked at the crying cub, but they did not look at him with the shaming glare that the officer had hoped they would.  Instead, they looked at him like a wounded sibling.  He had dared speak on their behalf.  It was Laflin they glared after.

to be continued.......
 


« Last Edit: January 14, 2005, 08:16:53 am by Scipio_66 »
"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2005, 08:04:14 am »
Laflin plotted how best to get his revenge upon the uppity peasants. He decided he had been right not to kill Hexx, for killing a crewman out of hand could cost an officer two month?s pay. Execution was a much better option.

How to secure that execution, however, was troublesome. Both regulations and the unwritten rules of nobility required him to keep in his place and pass his report up through the proper chain of command.  This was frustrating because he held no desire to have his vengeance enacted by a third party. It was walking past the empty cages at Bent Tooth's shop that gave him his inspiration. When he next delivered the captain's daily logistics briefing, he would have the perfect excuse to mention disobedience amongst the crew.

"Captain Eyes-in-Side of Head," reported Laflin as he delivered his report. "Our current patrol route brings us near the planet of Odessa. I recommend that we make a stop to replenish our live game."

The Captain lifted his wedge-shaped head and twisted his whiskers in a motion of curiosity. His family had been noble for six generations. This breeding showed in every graceful motion of the captain's large form. Even this simple whisker motion demanded instant subservience from all that saw it. "We resupplied less than a week ago," he replied.  (Laflin found himself compelled by centuries of tradition to not only agree with this simple statement of fact, but to bow and scrape as well.)

"Why would we need to stop now?" asked the captain.

"It is the crew," explained Laflin, as he regained his feet. "They refuse to eat the gagh served in the galley, and instead have purchased large amounts of live snacks from the commissary. It further impoverishes them, which is better than they deserve, but it does deplete our stores."

Captain Eyes-in-Side of Head stood immediately. This was more than a disagreement over rations, this was outright insubordination. "Discipline will suffer if this is allowed to continue!" he snapped, and Laflin, laughing with glee on the inside, was only to happy to bow in agreement.

"This must be stopped, and the ringleaders must be punished.  Transmit an announcement to the crew at once," he commanded. "All members of the crew not currently performing essential duties are to assemble in the Arboretum at 6 bells. All officers are to join me on the observation platform." He let out a low hiss and showed a smile full of wicked teeth. "And have a two squads of Royal Marines arm themselves and join us. We will put this ship to rights."

Laflin bowed low again, and sprinted to carry out his captain's orders.

**********

Kills for Pleasure was the second eldest son of the Duke of Darkstar County, and that was enough to make him planetary governor of Odessa.  Certainly no other quality the preening, spoiled Lyran noble possessed would ever have allowed him to rise to such a station.  Three concubines with hair dryers worked to make his fluffy white fur even fluffier, while two non-sentient Kzinti females followed their training to make his manicure perfect.

Kills for Pleasure turned his eyes from his full length mirror to look at his two most unusual guests.  "You are my solution?" he asked petulantly.  "I ask my father for help subduing the whiner?s in my population, and you are what he sends me?"

Warlock hissed happily.  This Gorn noise of amusement confused his feline audience, since that was a noise they would have only made when angry.  "I was a gift to the Duke from King Sten", he explained, "kept alive for my lethal abilities.  Your father could hardly fail to pass me along"

"That may be so," countered Kills for Pleasure with a hiss of his own.  (He still wasn?t sure if Warlock was angry or laughing).  "But what about that!"  The governor jerked a finger with distaste towards the Kzinti, named M?Ress, standing next to Warlock.  This sudden motion caused the female Kzinti slave attending to that hand?s manicure to knick a finger, and he cuffed her roughly.  She bowed and whimpered, but, having no concept of cause and effect, returned to the manicure.  "I have never allowed one of those into my court."

"The Kzinti is my problem," explained Warlock.  The entire room gasped in horror at his pronunciation of that word, but the Gorn continued unconcerned.  He was royal property, and thus beyond reproach in Lyran society.  "Your great King Sten, may he live forever, felt no one would be better at helping me slaughter troublesome Lyrans than an insane Kzinti prisoner just rescued from the stew pot."

"Very well," agreed Kills for Pleasure.  "The King?s word is law.  But I won?t have it in my house!  Go put it in the kennels."

"Hey, man!" whined M?Ress.  He was wearing sandals and a tie-dyed T-shirt.  He had not trimmed the hair in his ears for months, and kept them perpetually hooked forward over his head so that the growth hung down on his face and threatened to cover his eyes.  "Like, peace-out, dude!  I don?t need your repression all skipping up my groove.  You dig?"

"Eh?" replied Kills for Pleasure.

"Like, put the word down, man," continued M?Ress.  "You gotta get your head aligned with the new way of things.  The man -- I mean, THE man -- has sent me here to level the new scene.  You dig?"

Kills for Pleasure turned back to Warlock.  "The kennels," he insisted.

*************************

Aboard the Potemkin, the crew assembled in the arboretum as ordered.  Captain Eyes-in-Side of Head ? flanked by the ship?s officers and two squads of Royal Marines --  glared angrily down at them.  His presence was quite intimidating to all who saw him.  He was their captain.  He was nobility.  He was one freakin?-huge Lyran.  Everyone in the crew had been trained since birth to respect and fear these three traits, and Eyes-in-Side of head possessed them all.

"Who says they will not eat the gagh?" their angry captain demanded.  There was murmuring, but no one dared answer such a frightening figure.

"I say you will eat it!" he continued with rage.  "Each of you will eat the rations you are given.  There will be no more disobedience on this ship.  Potemkin serves your Duke and your King, and you live to serve Potemkin.  Disobedience to this ship is treason to your Duke. Treason is punished by execution.  Any among the crew who do not eat their gagh tonight will be tossed out an airlock with lettuce stuffed into his mouth.  Do I make myself clear?"

The crew turned to the portals, and all were certain they could see doomed bodies floating past, with lettuce in their mouths.  The horror of that death was too much, and generations of tradition made them quail before an officer and a nobleman.  Their feet began shuffling backwards.  All the feet, that is, except those belonging to Hexx and Sergei?s Claw.

"That is not right!" shouted Sergei?s Claw.  "We get maggots for dinner, and the officers get fresh game?"

"We demand equal treatment!" added Hexx.  He had seen the crew?s sympathies turn to him after Laflin had stuck him for defending their opinions, and he was certain they would follow him if he could turn their fear into anger.  Fear found in others, he had learned, could prove a valuable weapon to the Lyran who knew how to direct it.  He also felt quite safe next to a Lyran as large as Sergei?s Claw.

"Equal?" demanded the captain.  "Are you republicans now?  Federation vegetarians serving in the King?s navy?  Well, if it is equal treatment that you want, then I shall use it to teach you a lesson in the perils of egalitarianism.  Some of you have defied me, and thus *all* of you are guilty!  In an equal world it really makes no difference whom I punish.  Away with the nets!"

At this last command, several officers hurled a large net over the edge of the observation platform.  Weights attached to it spread it wide, and pinned 30 random crewmembers under its strands.

"Shoot them!" ordered the captain, and the Royal marines raised their disruptor rifles to take aim at the helpless captives. 

The crew fell back in horror, and this time Hexx joined them.  His gambit had failed.  Thirty of the crew were about to die, and only blind luck had kept him from being under the net with them. 

Sergei?s Claw, however, was not finished.  "Brothers!" he cried.  With hands raised, he ran to place himself between the marines and the helpless crew under the nets.  "Brothers!"  he repeated.   "Who are you shooting?"

With wonder, Hexx watched the marines slowly lower their rifles.  Then it struck him that the marines were drawn from the peasants, and their stomachs were as full of gagh as was his.  Sergei?s Claw had found just the right word to use on them.  "Brothers," Hexx whispered to himself, "is a powerful word."  He would remember that when his rise to power came.

"Traitor!" shouted Laflin, breaking the silent spell that had taken hold of the arboretum.  Then he drew his disruptor and shot Sergie?s Claw cleanly through the skull. 

"Murderer!" shouted Hexx, and in that he had found his own magic word to enrage the crew.  It worked so well he used it again.  "Murderer!"  He charged the stairs, and the crew charged with him.  Being that his legs were so much shorter than theirs, they passed him long before Laflin could fire another shot.  He was leading the rebellion he had wanted, and he was safe.

The marines hesitated, still no sure which side they were own, and that hesitation cost nearly every officer onboard the Potemkin their lives.  When the brief melee was over, only Laflin and Eyes-in-Side of Head still lived.  Laflin, the only officer with a firearm, had managed to shoot his way to a lifepod.  The captain found himself pinned to the floor by several angry crewmen.

"I am an officer!" he screamed.  "I am nobility!  Let me go at once, you peasants!"

"There are no more officers," answered Hexx.  "There is no more nobility on the Potemkin.  We are all equals now.  Brothers.  Comrades."

"Then let me up, Comrade," hissed the captain.  "Give me a knife, and let us settle our differences."

"Our differences have been settled, Comrade ex-Captain.  And you must now pay for your crimes."  He drew his skinning knife and chuckled evilly.  This was a moment he had waited for his entire life.  "Take him to the galley!" Hexx shouted to the crew holding down the captain.  "Tonight, we will *all* experience the joy of having noble blood in our veins!"

The crew feasted heartily that night on what was agreed to be the finest flesh they had ever tasted.  (In a rich alfredo sauce.)  No gagh was served, and no greens.  None of them went out the airlock for their choice in food.

Later, the body of their heroic Sergei?s Claw was transported down to the starport city on Odessa, where he was interned with full honors.  The citizens of Odessa ? angry at their repression by their own nobles ? turned out in unheard of numbers to hear the tale and leave gifts by the grave.  Soon they were sending shipments of food to the Potemkin.

Martyrs, decided Hexx, could be even more useful than soldiers.

It was only a matter of time before Warlock and M?Ress were sent to deal with them all.

To be continued.....
"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline Dizzy

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2005, 08:12:23 am »
 :thumbsup: WHOOT!

Offline GDA-S'Cipio

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2005, 08:39:35 am »

Well, p00p.  I have part 5 but I seem to have mislaid part 4.   (I suspect sabotage.)

More later.

-S'Cipio
"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents."  - James Madison (chief author of the Constitution)

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Offline Soreyes

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Offline Hexx

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2005, 01:53:31 pm »
Maybe after reading this inspirational tale of heroism we can get the DBCP,DDWLP,and DCWLP
back in the Lyran shiplist where they belong. (as well as their carrier variants)
Courageously Protesting "Lyran Pelt Day"

Offline FPF-Tobin Dax

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2005, 06:15:20 pm »
Anyone for the fall of J'inn?
Suspected leader of Prime Industries, #1 Pirate Cartel

Offline Commander Maxillius

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2005, 10:56:45 pm »
:rofl:
I was never here, you were never here, this conversation never took place, and you most certainly did not see me.

Offline KAT J'inn

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Re: The Fall and Rise and Fall of Hexx
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2005, 08:47:14 am »
SNARL!!!