Dear Imperial Magistrate of Truth and Information, originally of the Mirak Star Hegemony:
Please bring some of your Mirak intelligence agents over to the Lyran office. It seems the Lyrans already there are nought but brainwashers under the employ of his Imperial Underlord, and they have already wroght their damage upon your skilled, and normally intelligent, brain.
Cause if you had proper Intel officers working for you, this is what you would have been advised.
1. The ISC navy does not watch the Hallmark Channel, the sole reason it is allowed to broadcast in Concordian space is that it keeps the ladies happy, and is slightly better than Lifetime, the Lyran propiganda channel. We prefer such channels as the History Channel (broadcasting the history of peace), and Court TV.
2. We do not have a bounty, shoot to kill, or other such "barbaric" order placed upon Hexx's head. Instead, we are focusing our attempts to bring this misguided individual to Concordia, Organia, or some nice peaceful Beach Resort planet in order to perform *ahem* psychic surgery *ahem* operations in order to bring Hexx's normal tendencies and natural intelligence to the fore, after having been repressed by Ex-Emperor Sten's last gift to Hexx, the Helm of Brilliance, 40 watt, which was disguised as Hexx's crown.
3. We cannot condone any Empire that allows stout officers like Likkerpig to quietly mold Policy of that Empire. We understand that Likkerpig is a valued officer, and that his skill in combat is obviously higher than the Imperial Underlord, but an Empire placed under the forced warship of Her Highness Martha Stewart is, obviously, a repressed regieme. Now, if the Lyrans were allowed to choose worship of Her Highness, then it wouldn't be so oppressive. Sadly, Hexx (under Likkerpig's influence), seems to disagree.
I'm sure there are lots of other, untruths, being sent to you at this time, therefore I'd recommend you quietly replace your intelligence staff and learn the Truth of the galaxy.
This message was forwarded to me by my Korvillar agents, which are nice, furry, felinoid llifeforms, that are looking out for one of their true foreign Idols, the minister of Debauchery himself.