Topic: In the Flesh Part II

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Just thought we might get some songwriters out there to get back to work making us laugh.

Here is my contribution, a spoof of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

inspired by event on GW4, I call it

"The Wreck of the Molly Hatchet"  [/size]

The legend lives on from Dynaverse forums
And the server called Day of the Eagle
The kill post, it is said, always gives up her dead
If the kill is performed nice and legal.

With  excuses all stored- 26,000 tons more
Than the Molly Hatchet weighed empty
A good ships its true, but a bone to be chewed
When the Feds and Kzinti hunted hungry

The ship was the pride of the Coalition side
Coming back from some misson secretly mumbled
As the big warships go it was bigger than most
With a crew and the Captain not yet  humbled.

Not thinking to die, as confidence was high
When they left fully loaded for Fed space
And later that night when the red alert rang
Could it be the wolfpack they'd been fleeing.

The proxies in the hull made a tattletale sound
And a drone wave broke over the shielding
And every man knew, as the Captain did, too,
T'was the bitch of marines come a raiding.

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the magic of  photons came slashing
When the aftermath came the ship was feeling the pain
In the face of a phaser one bashing

When closing the range the mate came on deck
Saying fellows we have pucker factor
At 11PM the aft hull caved in
He said fellas we are caught in a tracor.

The Captain wired in he had more damage coming in
And with spares all gone couldn?t patch it
And later that night when it was too late to take flight
Came the wreck of the Molly Hatchet.

Does anyone know where the dead Romulan goes
When the words good game turn to view
The Klingons all say they'd have made the red line
If the captain had fifteen more points of IQ.

They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have had anti-matter released
And all that remains is the film and the post
For the funeral and friends of the deceased.

Green rolls on the floor, Sup a happy song sings
And in a smile Bonk?s face is aglow
Old Klingon steam, and Romulans scream
As the death is announced on Ventrillo.

The two fellows from Ontario
took a Kzinti wingman for glory
And the iron men sent with expendibles spent
Returned to their bases with the story.

In a musty old hall on Q?onos they swore
they?d allow Dizzy no more
The VC bell chimed, 'til it rang 3 times
For each point on the Molly Hatchet.

The legend lives on from Dynaverse forums
And the server called Day of the Eagle
The kill post, it is said, allways gives up her dead
If the kill is performed nice and legal.

[FPF-Wanderer]

A big fat <snicker> 

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

And another partially inspired by GW 4

call this one

"Kroma's Rhapsody"  [/size]

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught on the Dynaverse-
My escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up the tutu and see-
I?m just a sexy Gorn,i need some company-
Because I?m easy come,easy go,
Pink tutu, watch it flow
Anyway you blow,doesn?t really matter to me,
To me

Die Hard,just killed a fed,
told him to charge ahead,
too many fighters,now my wingman?s dead,
Die Hard,my CB  had just come in,
But now I?ve gone and thrown all that pp away-
Die Hard ooo,
Didn?t mean to make you cry-
If I?m not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

Too late,my new BCV has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
But I drank too much this time,
Goodbye everybody-I?m going to blow-
Gotta show you my behind and face the truth-
Die Hard ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don?t want to die,
I sometimes wish I?d never been given a VC ship at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a klink,
Its Lord Krueg,it?s Lord Kreug will you do the fandango-
scatterpack and dizzy lightning-very very frightening me-
Ballerina,ballerina
Ballerina ballerina
Ballerina figure is magnifico-
But I?m just a sexy Gorn and everybody loves me-
He?s just dillusional and suffers from obesity-
Run away from him  when he?s feeling kinky-
Easy come easy go-,will you let him blow-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you blow-let him blow-
Bismillah! we will not let you blow-let him blow
Bismillah! we will not let you blow-let me blow
Will not let you blow-let me blow
Will not let you blow let me blow
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me blow-
Scipio has a BF put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can have me and lift my tutu-
So you think you can love me and nasty things do-
Oh baby-please do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta this dress-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

And here is another, just couldn't resist spoofing "Stairway to Heaven"

J'inn is going to saleday at Walmart 

There's a lady who's sure everything?s meant to be sold
And J?inn?s headed to salesday at Walmart
And when he gets there he knows if the stores are closed
He will wait till she can get what she came for

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he?s going to salesday at Walmart

There's a sign on the wall Everything 50% off
And you know ?one size fits all? has two meanings
In the coupon book, there is one that reads
Buy one get one free

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And J?inn is going to salesday at Walmart
 
There's a feeling J?inn gets when he looks to the exit
And his spirit is crying for leaving
In his thoughts the register rings of midnight madness dreams
And the extended hours of Black Friday

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And J?inn is going to salesday at Walmart

And it's whispered that soon, though he has been there since noon
That the blue light will lead us to value
And a new day will dawn for those who stand at the register long
And the forum will echo with laughter
 
And it makes me wonder

If there's a bustle in your stripmall
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring cleaning sale in May

Yes there are two malls you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to go to more than one

Your beepers is humming and it won't go because you  know
Shopasaurus calling you to join her
Dear J?inn can't you feel the bags grow and did you know
This stairway takes you to the shoe stores

And as we wind on down aisles
Our feet pass the miles
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines platinum cards and wants to show
How there are things yet to be sold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
?We will be closing the mall?

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And J?inn is going to salesday at Walmart

There's a lady who's sure everything?s meant to be sold
And J?inn?s headed to salesday at Walmart
And when he gets there he knows if the stores are closed
He will wait till she can get what she came for

And J'inn is going to saleday at Walmart, uh uh uh.

[Dizzy]

Ok, bull-f*cking sh*t! I havent even read it yet, but I did see the Molly Hatchet header. That name is sacred. You know,,, it isnt a good idea to invoke the wrath of the dyna administrator b4 the server even starts...

...mulling if I should even read it now...

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Ok, bull-f*cking sh*t! I havent even read it yet, but I did see the Molly Hatchet header. That name is sacred. You know,,, it isnt a good idea to invoke the wrath of the dyna administrator b4 the server even starts...

...mulling if I should even read it now...

What? Me Worry?

<Snicker>

Then again you could fly ISC.......Agave warned me about the potential for disaster should that happen.....

[Dizzy]

You're about to get negative karma

Read the story/poem and it was excellent. Very good stuff. I'll let you off the hook this time.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

You're about to get negative karma

Read the story/poem and it was excellent. Very good stuff. I'll let you off the hook this time.

And I gave you a positive karma a bit ago for putting up with my mischief and taking it as the joke it is intended bro......

consider yourself good for another tow free of charge......

[Soreyes]

UNEASY KZIN

I was takin' a trip out to Mira,toolin' along in my MDC,tokin' on a number and diggin' on the sub-space radio jes' as I cross the Klingon line I heard that warp drive start to whine and I knew that left rear warp was about to go. well the Engineer was Drunk and I got uptight'cause there wasn't a spare part to be had. so I jes' limped down the space lane on what I had left.I went as far as I could and when I stopped the ship it was right in front of this little base station a kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Stars End Bar. well I stuffed my Nip up under my hat and told the bartender that I had a core breach and would he be kind enough to give me change for a one hundred there was one thing I was sure proud to see there wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me and he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the communicator I called up the station  in Kizin space and he said he wasn't very busy t'dayand he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or so. he said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go. I jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar when some guy walked in an' said who owns this Ship with the In Nip we trust sign the seven Drone Racks and the Feddie fingers on the floor well he looked at me and I damn near died and I decided that I'd jus wait outside, so I layed a credit on the bar and headed for the door. jes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin these five big Kzin come strollin' in with this one old drunk Gorn and some Rom with green teeth. an' I was almost to the door when the biggest one said you tip your hat to this lady son an' when I did all that nip fell out from underneath. now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight in the Stars end Bar on a Saturday night'specially when there was seven of them and only one of me. well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick and I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick so I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the knee he let out a yell that'd curl your hair but before he could move I grabbed me a chair and said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man well you may not know it but this man's a spy he's an undercover agent for Section 31 and he's been sent down here to infiltrate KLAW. he was still bent over holdin' on to his knee but everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me and I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went. I said would you believe this man has gone as far as tearin' Kroma stickers off the walls of bar's and he voted for Hooch for president. well he's a friend of them long-haired Klingon Targs I betcha he's even got a Rommie flag Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage he's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys he may look dumb but that's jus a disguise he's a mastermind in the ways of espionage they all started lookin' real suspicious at him and he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute J'inn you know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life. I'm a faithfull follower of Brother MRess and I belong to the Bastards R us club. and I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my Mate. then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed but I didn't wait around to hear the rest I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck and when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks and they were jes' takin' my ship out of the bay.so I threw the Hydran a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up. The Flufster woulda sure been proud of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd comin' out the Star dock and headin' toward me in a hot pursuit an' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run but somehow I couldn't resist the fun of chasin' them jes' once around Stars End Bar. well they were headin' for me but I hit the gas and spun around and headed them off at the pass. well I was slingin' phasers and puttin' a ton of Drones in the air. well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin 'like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin 'but I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there.  when I hit Warp Drive I was really wheelin 'had plasma flyin' and the warp core squeelin 'an' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Kzin space. I think I'm gonna re-route my tripI wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped if I went to Mira via Tau 37!

[Green]

Excellent work Chuut.  Knowing the songs in your parodies ... I was mentally singing them all.  Way too much time on your hands bro. 

[Corbomite]

Excellent work Chuut.  Knowing the songs in your parodies ... I was mentally singing them all.  Way too much time on your hands bro. 

Maybe he could do one to "Too Much Time On My Hands". 

[FVA_C_ Blade_ XC]

Ok, bull-f*cking sh*t! I havent even read it yet, but I did see the Molly Hatchet header. That name is sacred. You know,,, it isnt a good idea to invoke the wrath of the dyna administrator b4 the server even starts...

...mulling if I should even read it now...

Hmmmmmmm,

The last time I saw the Molly Hatchet in action she was tucking tail and running<snickers>

[Green]

Maybe he could do one to "Too Much Time On My Hands". 

Strangely enough ... I took a look at the lyrics for the original ... and you really wouldn't need to change any of them at all.   ???

[CaptJosh]

Minor quibble with the Starway to Heaven parody. Blue light specials are at K Mart, not Walmart.

[Dizzy]

Ok, bull-f*cking sh*t! I havent even read it yet, but I did see the Molly Hatchet header. That name is sacred. You know,,, it isnt a good idea to invoke the wrath of the dyna administrator b4 the server even starts...

...mulling if I should even read it now...

Hmmmmmmm,

The last time I saw the Molly Hatchet in action she was tucking tail and running<snickers>

OMFG! The insolence!

Your memory banks have been damaged! Our last encounter was epic. BCG vs your KCR. It involved you having a Starbase. Let's say you are either extremely lucky and the planets and stars aligned for you that day or it is my lot in life that you are able to evade each time my superb skill and get away. One day, Blade, it will take more than luck, a Starbase and 30 spares to save your life...

[Hexx]

Ok, bull-f*cking sh*t! I havent even read it yet, but I did see the Molly Hatchet header. That name is sacred. You know,,, it isnt a good idea to invoke the wrath of the dyna administrator b4 the server even starts...

...mulling if I should even read it now...

Hmmmmmmm,

The last time I saw the Molly Hatchet in action she was tucking tail and running<snickers>

OMFG! The insolence!

Your memory banks have been damaged! Our last encounter was epic. BCG vs your KCR. It involved you having a Starbase. Let's say you are either extremely lucky and the planets and stars aligned for you that day or it is my lot in life that you are able to evade each time my superb skill and get away. One day, Blade, it will take more than luck, a Starbase and 30 spares to save your life...

So you're bringing an ally or two to fight him?

[KBF-Soth]

Great..now I got Gordy Lightfoot on the brain,hummin that tune all day hehe

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Het guys lets see some other contribute!

BTW excellent Soreyes +1 Karma for you 

Anyhow how about a modified Christmas Song


On the first day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me 
A gorn in a tutu!

On the second day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the third day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the fourth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the fifth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me 
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the sixth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the seventh day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the eighth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Eight thousand prestige,
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!


On the ninth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Nine pounds of katnip,
Eight thousand prestige,
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the tenth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Ten transporters bombing,
Nine pounds of katnip,
Eight thousand prestige,
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Eleven hours playtime,
Ten transporters bombing,
Nine pounds of katnip,
Eight thousand prestige,
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!


On the twelfth day of Christmas,
the Dyna gave to me
Twelve drone control,
Eleven hours playtime,
Ten transporters bombing,
Nine pounds of katnip,
Eight thousand prestige,
Seven Six Two dying,
Six packs of bloodwine,
Five ESGs,
Four magic photons,
Three vs One,
Two PPD,
And a gorn in a tutu!

[CaptJosh]

Whaddya know...Chutt actually got a decent sig image...Now if only I could come up with another parody... ::YAWN:: Maybe tomorrow.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

I'd work on my avater first if I were you.....

<Snicker>

J/K Josh