Topic: Winter Driving

[Clark Kent]

Winter is upon us.  With that in mind, I felt it was important to address some of the issues that plague winter drivers, so I compiled this quick little FAQ.  Feedback is welcome.

Frequently Asked Questions for winter driving

Q:  With snow on the ground and possibly slicker roads will drivers drive slower?
A:  Most assuredly.  While this varies from driver to driver, you can expect to drive up to 75% slower than you did during the other seasons of the year.  However, in the case of a snow or other winter storm where visibility and control on the road is minimized this rule does not apply and you will find a random array of people driving at wildly high speeds and others driving at a walking pace. 

Q:  During the other seasons I?ve noticed a great deal of drivers who will drive recklessly, sometimes cutting me off, tailgating or performing complex maneuvers that nearly take my bumper off.  Will this change during the winter?
A:  No.  The general consensus among the public is that the only factors that cause automobile accidents and fatalities on the road are speeding and drunk driving.  This means that drivers can act as they want to, regardless of the season or driving conditions with no responsibility regarding what happens around them.

Q:  Will I see more turn signal use during the winter when people are about to turn off the road or are switching lanes?
A:  No.  Turn signals are dangerous to use and serve no value except to distract other drivers from their CDs playing in their own vehicles and the hot cup of coffee sitting in their lap that they will sue McDonald?s for when it spills onto their lap because of your inconsiderate use of turn signals.  That person in the exit lane that has failed to take every opportunity for the last 10 miles to get out of the lane will cut you off because it is his space and she has no need to notify you that she is taking her space.

Q:  I always get annoyed by people who stop on the highway rather than use a turn lane to slow down as they exit the highway.  How will the winter affect this?
A:  Turn lanes are an evil concept by bureaucrats in Washington D.C. who only wish to sap and impurify your precious bodily fluids.  The proper way to exit the highway in lieu of a turn lane is to make a complete stop in the left hand lane, then slowly turn.  You are an inconsiderate goat-fondling hairy baboon?s ass for asking.

Q:  I often run into ?Polish Road blocks? where two drivers will drive at an unacceptably slow pace side by side.  This backs up traffic for miles.  Will these drivers act more sensibly during the Winter?
A:  No.  As was previously discussed, speed and drunk driving are the only causes of automobile accidents.  Not the sudden stop, and definitely not the fact that you have to make drastic and sudden changes in your driving as you approach the miles long line of cars or as you sit in the convoy as it stretches and contracts like an accordion due small changes at the front of the line that have a ripple affect through the line causing massive changes by the time you reach the end of the convoy.  You should be thankful for the two people at the front of the line with your best interests at heart who will force you not to go the speed limit, or even the speed minimum.

Q:  Winter driving requires more attention than other seasons due to the introduction of new facts that impinge the driving process.  Will drivers learn to stop using their cell phones so much so they can concentrate on the road more effectively?
A:  This is a stupid question.  Because winter driving takes longer it becomes necessary for drivers to use their cell phones minus the hands free unit, eat and read the newspaper while driving and fix their makeup in the vanity mirror.  This is their right, and the only things that cause automobile accidents

[Iceman]

being from massachusetts, I've seen all of this first hand. All of it. I'm only 18!

[Capt. Mike]

Being from Tonawanda NY (half way between Buffalo and Niagara Falls)..I've seen Darwin applied...just some common sense folks..

Mike

[IAF Lyrkiller]

you have not driven on ice and sleet. that is where you need all of your driving skills

and yes down here Dallas that seem is all we get and sleet and and ice.

i have yet to get into an accident.

[Iceman]

Dallas? As in Dallas, Texas? Hahahahahahahaha. Try northern Massachusetts. Or better yet, Maine! lol

[IAF Lyrkiller]

you got a problem w/ Dallas,TX. i have lived down here over 30 years and i have seen it all.

[Lieutenant_Q]

Try West Michigan, we get it all too...every fricking year.  Not once a decade like Dallas gets. (and yes ive been in Dallas quite a bit in January)

the above only really applies to the first snow/ice/whatever of the year, people forget how to deal with it, after they've been out in it a couple of times, assuming they haven't killed themselves first, they tend to either slow down and be more careful, or they go faster to impress some guy/gal and get the both of them knocked off.  Or thirdly, they are just inherently lazy and wait til the last possible second to leave thinking...ah it only takes me 20 minutes to get to work every other day...so what if there's five feet of snow on the ground and its...sorta raining...

[Capt. Mike]

Hey Q..I understand..grew up in WNY..lived near Syracuse..got stationed in Oscoda (a place I really loved)..and while Utah and Nebraska or Colorado don't stack up for total amounts..they have thier own Darwin candidates..and for our UK buds..I was there when it snowed over 3 feet overnight in the '80's..most of the roads near Upper Heyford were closed until the local farmer could dig it out...that was wild..and I was stuck at work at RAF Croughton...couldn't get off the base until it was cleared...what a night

Mike

[E_Look]

Just earlier tonight here on Long Island, I"m zipping home on the highway (hey, it was around 7) and then I run into a series of apparently self righteous self appointed speed limit policers (not cops!).  They get into the left lane and do speed limit or 5 mph under.  Ahead of them is open road; the next red dots over a couple hundred feet off.  And these buggers get into all the lanes!

The worst one was the first one.  An entire column of cars, with me in it, was approaching the entrance ramp from the street.  One of the turkeys ahead stops rather suddenly for some reason.  I'm glad there was only two sips of joe left in my cup.

And then, just about a half hour ago, I'm out to the supermarket, and pull into the right lane as the store is coming up.  I had already noted that about three car lengths behind with no one between us was this dark vehicle with no lights on.  From the street lights I can see that it's one guy driving with a woman next to him, young to middle age, both.

I was stupid and almost missed the entrance driveway, 'cuz I was eyeballing the Cloaked Romulan Pirate behind me so I make a rather abrupt right.  Well Romulan follows, too, and no turn signal; at least I had mine on way before I was too close to the driveway, keeping rather precisely the distance between us.  Well, I decided to call the game to see if he was really tailing me or he wanted also to go shopping tonight, so I stopped at a STOP sign in the parking lot and stayed there for many seconds.  Mr. and Mrs. Cloak waited, too, and there were parking spots next to them!  As I got moving again, I saw the Pirates make their abrupt turn into a parking space!

My wife was sharp eyed enough to spot a security patrol car nearby, so I parked under the nearest bright lamp to the patrol car before we went into the store.  I wanted to walk over and see if Romulans really have greenish skin and pointed ears, but the old lady had other plans and had us go in another entrance.  I couldn't tell if they were still around when we left.

(Next time, I am going to pull into another lane, slow down so as to drop back behind the Cloaker and drive slowly behind them in an adjacent lane.  Then, if they go into what my planned destination was, then, I'll feel better.  If not, I'll double back to where I wanted to go in the first place.)

[Dracho]

Ice in the South can be worse because the state isn't prepared to deal with it, and only 2 out of 10 morons on the highway know how to drive on it...


I spent a year in Watertown, NY (426 inches of accumulated snow that year) and I very seldom saw wrecks.  Of course, the orange flags so you could see cars coming on the other side of snow banks helped a lot.

[Sirgod]

Ice in the South can be worse because the state isn't prepared to deal with it, and only 2 out of 10 morons on the highway know how to drive on it...


I spent a year in Watertown, NY (426 inches of accumulated snow that year) and I very seldom saw wrecks.  Of course, the orange flags so you could see cars coming on the other side of snow banks helped a lot.

That is Very true. I remember when I lived in Kingman , AZ the slightest rain would cause people to go Crazy.

Stephen

[Iceman]

No problem with Dallas, I just think it's funny you're complaining about the cold. Well, not complaining, but you get the idea. hehe.

[Dracho]

Heck, when I lived in Houston, I thought 40 was a freaking Artic blast straight from the lowest depths of the abyss.  My blood was thin and I froze my first year in northern Oklahoma.  It does get cold here, and that "wind comes blowing off  the plains" crap is true.  In winter, it might be 15 degrees with a 40 mph wind, and the only thing slowing it down from the North Pole is a couple of strands of barbed wire up in Nebraska.

I remember once it snowed 1/2" in Houston, back in 1983.. the traffic was horrendous..

[Iceman]

hahahahaha. It snowed a 1/2 inch here a few weeks back and the kid from Houston in my dorm found out what a white-washing is.  He walked outside, goes "What the...." and promptly got hit in the chest with a snowball.  The best was him trying to THROW one.  He neglected to pack it, just picked up the snow and tossed it. Well he was downwind, so it went POOF and then his hair was white. Pretty funny sight, really.

[KnightAdvancer]

Heck, when I lived in Houston, I thought 40 was a freaking Artic blast straight from the lowest depths of the abyss.  My blood was thin and I froze my first year in northern Oklahoma.  It does get cold here, and that "wind comes blowing off  the plains" crap is true.  In winter, it might be 15 degrees with a 40 mph wind, and the only thing slowing it down from the North Pole is a couple of strands of barbed wire up in Nebraska.

I remember once it snowed 1/2" in Houston, back in 1983.. the traffic was horrendous..

I live south of Houston myself, and I was just outside wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt thinking about how nice the sun felt. And it's what, December 9th? Maybe in January it'll get cold enough that I have to wear pants.

Oh, and I believe this "snow" thing is a blasted lie invented by old geezers so that they could pull one over the young'uns, like swipe hunting.

[J. Carney]

Oh, and I believe this "snow" thing is a blasted lie invented by old geezers so that they could pull one over the young'uns, like swipe hunting.

Nope- I've seen it 6" deep in Alabama 4 times in the last 10 years, and shovled more than my fair share of it during Basic at Ft. Leanord Wood, Misery (which some Yankees misspell Missouri).

The 'damn white stuff' is definately real... and EVIL!!!

[Clark Kent]

Youmean snip hunting?
We're still a little snow shy up here in MN.  Don't ask me why, but it's been too warm to keep the stuff around.  I always got the stuff about it being too cold when I lived in GA.  The only time I needed actual warm weather gear was out in the field because I was in it 24/7 and sleeping outside.  When not in the field I rarely even bothered to turn on the heat.  Hell, I remember walking around outside in a speedo around christmas.

[Dracho]

The worst story I have was winter survival training at Ft. Drum.. chest deep snow outside, and we hollowed out a snow hole, used a candle to melt the inside to make ice (stronger) and lived in that hole for 31 days.  The warmest it got was 32 in the snow hole.. shaving with a disposable razor out of a steel pot full of cold water.. yum..

[Capt. Mike]

The worst story I have was winter survival training at Ft. Drum.. chest deep snow outside, and we hollowed out a snow hole, used a candle to melt the inside to make ice (stronger) and lived in that hole for 31 days.  The warmest it got was 32 in the snow hole.. shaving with a disposable razor out of a steel pot full of cold water.. yum..

Dude..you should be happy you were there in the early fall!!!   

I know..peeps don't understand a significant amount of snow unless it happens..and many don't believe it actually happpens every year up there..why do you think winter training is at Ft Drum??  It's at the end of all the great lakes, the winds have soaked up as much moisture as possible, and have said "Hey, look at all those silly people living outside in the Adirondacks...let's dump on them"....

Ever make it to the January motorcycle races in Lewiston??  Drive 6" spikes in you tires and race on the ice...don't fall off if you're in the lead...

And BTW...let everyone know that not all NY is like the city..there's a lot of country in upstate...

Mike...and Happy Holidays

[Dracho]

LOL.. I was from NC and thought I lived among rural hicks until I got to Watertown.   It IS beautiful though..

The worst story I have was winter survival training at Ft. Drum.. chest deep snow outside, and we hollowed out a snow hole, used a candle to melt the inside to make ice (stronger) and lived in that hole for 31 days.  The warmest it got was 32 in the snow hole.. shaving with a disposable razor out of a steel pot full of cold water.. yum..

Dude..you should be happy you were there in the early fall!!!   

I know..peeps don't understand a significant amount of snow unless it happens..and many don't believe it actually happpens every year up there..why do you think winter training is at Ft Drum??  It's at the end of all the great lakes, the winds have soaked up as much moisture as possible, and have said "Hey, look at all those silly people living outside in the Adirondacks...let's dump on them"....

Ever make it to the January motorcycle races in Lewiston??  Drive 6" spikes in you tires and race on the ice...don't fall off if you're in the lead...

And BTW...let everyone know that not all NY is like the city..there's a lot of country in upstate...

Mike...and Happy Holidays