Topic: In a Florida Hospital . . . .  (Read 1098 times)

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Offline KAT J'inn

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In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« on: December 08, 2004, 12:40:36 pm »
In a hospital emergency room somewhere in Miami      . . . . . .


Nurse: Doctor!!  Code Red incoming!!

Doctor: Code Red?  What is it nurse?

Nurse: Well it means a patient that is critical has just arrived AND he has health insurance, but that?s not important right now.

Doctor: Wha?

Nurse: Come with me. <grabs doctors hand and takes him to an emergency exam room filled with terrified paramedics.  On the table, with a good 2 feet of it?s legs and Gucci Clad feet hanging off, lays an unconscious 8 foot tall bi-pedal white tiger-like beast.>

Doctor: What is this, something new from the Armani line?

Nurse: No doctor, that fur is . . . umm attached.

Doctor: Dear LORD!!! He glued fur on himself!!   I mean I can see that in Key West but this is Miami!!

Nurse: <sigh> No Doctor.  This ?person? has unusual hair growth.

Doctor: Hair Growth!  You call me in here for that!!  Send him to a dermatologist.

Nurse: DOCTOR!!  That?s not it.  He was found lying on a sidewalk in South Beach.

Doctor: And that is unusual how?  I mean we have plenty of homeless here.

Nurse: <Yanks of sheet> Wearing a silk Italian smoking jacket.  Hugo Boss slacks. And an ascot??

Doctor: Hmmm.  Dear Lord he has a diamond pinkie ring!!!

Nurse: <shudder>

Paramedic: We found this on him. <holds up an empty bottle of Crystal>   And this <holds up an empty case of Cohibas>.  And ?ahem? this <holds up a brochure from the Fort Lauderdale Hustler Club>   And this <holds a wad of melted plastic>

Nurse: What the heck is that.

Paramedic: We think it?s what?s left of his credit cards.

Doctor: What are his vitals?

Paramedic: Well that?s the odd thing.  His pulse seems to be somewhat of a latin beat.  Salsa I think.

Doctor: <Doctor listens> No No. <looks thoughtful> I think it?s Meringue.   His breathing?

Paramedic: I got close to his breath but the alcohol fumes drove me back.

Doctor:   Alright let?s get these clothes off of him.


<a few minutes later>

Nurse: HE?S FURRY ALL OVER!!!

Doctor: NURSE!! Stop rubbing the patient!!

Nurse: But it?s sooo soft.

Doctor: NURSE!!

Paramedic: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!

Doctor: Hmm, he actually has a tattoo on his nether regions.   It looks new.  Hmmm, it says, ?Miami Escort Service, VIP Frequent Flyer Customer?

Nurse: WOW!!   There?s room to print all of that.

Doctor: NURSE!!!

Nurse: Sorry doctor.

Doctor: Well I?ve seen this before.  Hedonism Toxicity.  Start an IV STAT!!  Caffeine Push Drip!!  Oh, and get me a CD of Country Western Music.  HURRY IT UP!!  He?s nearly comatose. 

?

I?m back from Florida.

<hic>












Offline Sirgod

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Re: In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2004, 12:43:13 pm »
LOL, Too Funny J'inn.

stephen
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Offline Soreyes

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Re: In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2004, 02:00:01 pm »
LOL      :notworthy: :notworthy:

Well that was a hell of a lot better time in the Hospital then I had ;D

Cardiologist listening to Soreyes Heart:  Um mm are you having any chest pains right now?

Soreyes: No not really

Cardiologist: OK on a pain scale of 1 to 10. what is your pain?

Soreyes: Oh I would say about a 1 or 2. it feels like a little cramp.

Cardiologist: Well Mr. Soreyes your having another Heart Attack

Soreyes: Oh Crap not again!!!!!!



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Offline Bydabook

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Re: In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2004, 06:06:00 pm »
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!! Had me laughing out loud, and reading it over again. 

Thanks for that.

Glad you made it back alive.......you never know what you get in a Fla. E.R.

Offline Capt Jeff

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Re: In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2004, 05:53:48 am »
 :rofl:
Capt Jeff

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Offline Capt Jeff

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Re: In a Florida Hospital . . . .
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2004, 05:54:42 am »
LOL      :notworthy: :notworthy:

Well that was a hell of a lot better time in the Hospital then I had ;D

Cardiologist listening to Soreyes Heart:  Um mm are you having any chest pains right now?

Soreyes: No not really

Cardiologist: OK on a pain scale of 1 to 10. what is your pain?

Soreyes: Oh I would say about a 1 or 2. it feels like a little cramp.

Cardiologist: Well Mr. Soreyes your having another Heart Attack

Soreyes: Oh Crap not again!!!!!!



You better be taking care of yourself Soreyes !!!!
Capt Jeff

Former SFC2.NET Administrator
C.O., Heavy Command Cruiser
USS Crasher NCC 1733

1AF---Friendship, Honor, Fun.  It's what we Play For.