Scippio'sTrue Loves Response to the gifts He sent for the 12 days of Christmas
December 14, 2004
My dearest darling Scippio:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real
Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Mrs. Scippio
December 15, 2004
Dearest Scippio:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two
turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just adorable.
All my love and devotion,
Mrs. Scippio
December 16, 2004
Dear Scippio:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't
deserve such generosity, three French hens? I just can't believe my eyes. They are just so darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
All my love,
Mrs. Scippio
December 17, 2004
Dear Scippio:
Today the postman delivered a Special delivery package, when I opened it up and saw those four calling birds. I almost fainted. How dreamy of you to think of that. Now really, they
are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. Four calling birds. I mean one would have been great, but four? You are really being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Mrs. Scippio
December 18, 2004
Dearest Scippio:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings,
one for every finger. I almost wished I had 7 fingers on each hand. You're just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, speaking now Scippio, I?m having a little problem here, all those birds squawking and craping all over my apartment beginning to get on my nerves. As well as all the freaken work it involves keeping this apartment clean from those crap happy things you sent me.
All my love,
Mrs. Scippio
December 19, 2004
Dear Scippio:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese
laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?
These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors
are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
My lawn is full of goose droppings and the mailman is really getting p##sed off. And to be perfectly honest with you, I?m not too happy about it either. Please stop this foolishness. Enough is enough!
Cordially but annoyed,
Mrs. Scippio
December 20, 2004
Scippio:
What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a
swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all
over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at
night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those
freaking birds. I even called a bird exterminator and they said they don?t want anything to do with this. They told me that the ACLU and PETA would just about put them out of business if they even attempted to help me. Frankly, I?m at my wits end. Over this dumb thing that you are doing here. So I?m telling you flat out! STOP IT!
Honestly,
Mrs. Scippio
December 21, 2004
O.K. Buster:
I now even think I preferred the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? Are you out of your freaken mind? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows.
There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just
lay off me, smartass. Never call me again. Or I?m gonna call my Uncle Tony who has mob connections. Then you?ll see who your fooling around with!
Mrs. Scippio
December 22, 2004
Hey Jerk face!
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers
playing. And Holy crap do they play! They don't stop for a munute. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those stupid screeching birds.
What am I going to do?
The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. I haven?t had a minute?s peace since all this crap started. And I?m so sick of it that my hands are shaking.
You'll get yours!
Mrs. Scippio
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More to come.
Stephen
Topic: OT: Is this our Skippy writing Dear Abby? (Read 4259 times)