Admiral Hooch sat in his office. It had been a regular routine day and that gave him a sense of deep satisfaction. No major breakthroughs had been made but a slow steady progress, the kind of situation he usually preferred during peacetime. There was plenty of opportunity to weigh in the facts of each intelligence report Section 31 received, correction he thought, HIS Section 31 now that he had assumed command of it, and just as importantly, the opportunity to plan the proper response based on those reports.
It finally seemed as if his staff had come together and were working as a well oiled machine, each part in its place performing its specified function. It had taken him months of work and sorting out the petty territorial squabbles, having personnel resigned to the stations that suited their particular talents, and getting rid of the troublemakers, replacing them with competent staff, or at least a few top Starfleet Academy grads who could be trained in the proper manner.
Yes life was starting to get good, and his latest project of preventing a Klingon attack on the United Federation of Planets by encouraging rivalry and mistrust among the great Klingon Houses was paying off it seemed. If they wanna fight, let them, just fight each other and do us all a favor thought the Admiral, as he casually looked over the latest report of Federation arms shipments to House Kinshaya. Some phaser rifles and power packs, a few transporter components, a couples cases of refined katnip, some photon torpedo casings for their K?Tingas, several dozen??.??........ Hooch sat up from his slouched position to look more closely, a couple of cases of Krazy KAT katnip?? What the hell was that for?
Hooch reached over and pressed his communications device. ?Lt. Terlow please have Captain LeRoy hailed on a secure channel and patch him through to me ASAP.?
?Yes Sir!? came the Rigellian?s quick and prompt reply, short, attentive and respectful just the way Hooch liked it.
Hooch allowed himself a brief satisfied smile, Terlow had been one of his handpicked Starfleet graduates assigned directly to Section 31, he would make a fine officer. Still he felt a bit uneasy, as he always did when katnip was mentioned, because wherever catnip was involved so were?..
?Patching through Capt. LeRoy now Sir.?, interrupted Terlow?s rumbling bass voice, as Leroy?s image came through on the screen.
?Captain Leroy, good to see you.? Greeted the admiral.
?And you as well Sir!?, beamed the always smiling captain.
Something about LeRoy?s cheerful disposition always had a way of lightening Hooch?s mood, funny thought Hooch, because no matter what, LeRoy always seemed to be in the middle of every potentially embarrassing diplomatic incident, well excepting those caused directly by Admiral Die Hard, but those weren?t really diplomatic incidents, those were diplomatic nightmares if luck held and precursors to interstellar war if it didn?t.
LeRoy?s incidents were more embarrassing than dangerous, yet he had managed to avoid being blamed for them. He had in fact become one of Starfleet?s rising stars after several recent successes, especially his involvement in the intact capture along with Captain Two-Step, of a Klingon warship and her captain during the last border clash. This had provided much valuable information to the Federation about Klingon affairs and technology.
?I have a couple of questions about your latest report pertaining to shipments to House Kinshaya.? Announced the admiral.
Leroy looked left of screen, then quickly back at the Hooch ?What kind of questions, Sir??, he asked donning his most innocent look.
?A couple of questions regarding shipments of KATNIP Captain, an illegal and banned substance.?, replied Hooch, not buying the innocent look for a second.
Leroy grinned nervously, ?Errrr?..Actually its not banned on a few Federation worlds Sir, the Cait being the main one.?
?I?m well aware of the Caitian exception captain, and the toleration of Caitain cultural and religious practices within their own territory.?, growled Hooch, the volume of his voice rising with each word. ?Your report specifically says ?Krazy KAT katnip? , which is a Kzinti specially enhanced strain and banned even on Cait! And why the hell are we shipping Katnip to the Klingons anyway??
Leroy looked once again to his left before turning back and answering. ?Well, Sir?..House Kinshaya was weakened by the recent death of its Patriarch, and now that the major rivals are down to 3 Houses you stated in your last orders that we do what we could to help keep them on par with House S?uhn?ih and House Dizaroma, so we are sending them the katnip for this purpose. ?Kinshaya territory? has no border with the Kzinti, so such shipments must come through us or independent smugglers. As for the legality of this action I refer to the Section 31 charter Section B subsection?..?
?Yes, Yes I know the regulation by heart,? responded Hooch, a bit placated by the logical and well reasoned answer that was materializing as opposed to his fear of yet another embarrassing incident ?but you still haven?t explained why Klingons need the katnip??
Hooch unconsciously crossed his fingers, an old silly habit he knew but it made him feel better.
?Well Sir?.,? began Leroy, his confidence building as Hooch was starting to buy into his story, ??.to bolster House Kinshaya during this crisis, we are giving them Kzinti katnip to barter with the Lyrans for some assistance, since the Lyrans won?t trade directly with the Kzinti, such high quality enhanced katnip brings a huge price in the Star Empire. So this way we are saving a fortune by supplying some comparatively cheap katnip rather than expensive and bulky technology which could be traced back to Federation sources, the katnip, on the other hand, can?t be linked directly to us, nor can the Lyran technology it purchases.?
?Well I?ll be damned?, muttered a now calm and smiling Hooch, uncrossing his fingers, ?That?s mighty fine thinking Captain, job well done!?
Hooch was preparing to end the transmission as Leroy smiling at the rare praise from the Admiral added, ? Well I can?t take all the credit Sir, It really wasn?t my original idea.?
?Oh, then who came up with such a creative solution?? Hooch inquired.
Suddenly LeRoy?s smile disappeared and he looked like a cat who just swallowed the canary. ?Errrr?? the sweat began to pour from Leroy?s brow as he looked off to his left again.
?Is there someone in your office with you?, asked Hooch finally taking notice of the glances to the left offscreen, and getting that strange prickling feeling in his back he always seemed to get right before it hit the fan.
?He did?, blurted out LeRoy, realizing the gig was up and that further deception would be damning, as he pointed to his left.
The view screen suddenly expanded as Leroy adjusted the controls in his ready room revealing a large feline sitting off to his left, sipping a scotch.
?YOU!?, gasped Hooch, literally speechless
?Well who did you expect, the Easter Bunny?? replied Chuut-Ritt. ?Someone had to supply all that premium ?Nip. Don?t worry?, Chuut added with a truly evil wink, It has been officially unofficially approved by the Kzin Ministry of Information, I consulted personally with Minister J?inn myself on the matter.
?YOU AND HIM!?, gasped Hooch, just before he collapsed on the floor in a faint.
Leroy closed the subspace channel, after confirming with Lt. Terlow that Hooch had merely fainted.
?He took that rather well I thought?, commented Chuut-Ritt
?Slightly better than expected?, replied LeRoy still worried if this would land on his service record.
?Don?t have any second thoughts on the matter?, replied Chuut ?Its all for the best we are working together now anyway, unless you prefer meeting with that Lyran rogue to assist with your shipments??
Leroy shuddered at the thought of trying to get further information from the Lyran Captain Likkerpig, the last encounter with him having proven a bit disturbing. Besides the Kzin were usually allies after all, and just how bad could dealing with Chuut and J?inn really be?, he smiled to himself with a certain optimism.
Hooch was echoing those same thoughts after he revived, but with a lot less optimistic meaning on those words ?just how bad could dealing with Chuut and J?inn really be??
Topic: Saber-Rattling ...... a new roleplay thread for KCW (Read 2148 times)