Dear Starfleet Command:
I really must issue a formal complaint regarding Federation Escape Pods. They are . . . unacceptable. Since I have been assigned Federation ships for the war I really must have the appropriate equipment for a Kzin of my standing. Therefore I hereby demand that the following be placed on all Command Escape Pods.
1) Direct T.V with the Sports-a-Holic Package.
2) A minibar. Hold the mini.
3) At least 3 females. Humanoid please.
4) A few goats. (I could be a long wait for rescue and I get hungry).
Actually, if you use human females we could knock out items 3 and 4 at the same time. I'm nothing if not efficient.
Sincerely,
J'inn
Noble Minister of Information. Holder of the Golden blah blah blah blah
How are you going to fit all of that in 1 "Command" escape pod?
I had to use my command pod, along with 2 other pods, just to get the 4 of me off the
U.S.S. Little Paradise when it got sacked. Luckily there were many bridge crew casualties and a couple of spare escape pods still on the bridge...
I have to commend Federation scientists, they have mini-tractors on the escape pods, and they can link up to big escape-blocks, only problem (for you) is to get the doors to open to the rest of the pods... (Luckily we could hold our conversations telepathically so the 4 of me wasn't too bored waiting for the pickup...)