The ancient 2005 Audi S8 growled down the old historic motorway. They were seldom used on 23rd Century Earth but motor car buffs still held some clout on the planet.
J?inn loved the old machine. It had been restored to original condition except for the modifications to hold his massive bulk. Well that and the minibar.
Vivaldi whispered in the background as he thought. ?Fricking Gorn!? he groused. ?They have no clue how to manage anything. Well it?s a good thing S?Cippy called me in to manage his moving crew. At least I know how to get things done quickly.?
Admiral S?Cippo was the Gorn military attache on Earth. He had been a very busy lizard with the Federation?s recent decision to provide direct military aide to the Kzinti. So busy that he had barely had time to finalize the embassy relocation plans. Much to the anger of his expatriate Romulan bride to be. (Hey don?t ask me. She decide to marry him!!) So they were in quite the panic when the large sedan glided to a stop in front of the old embassy.
As J?inn approached the house he saw something which caused him to conclude that all Gorns were idiots. ?A U-HAUL!!? he roared to himself inside the car. ?What kind of cheap arse moving company uses a U-Haul!! Jeeez doesn?t S?Cippy know a damn thing. You get what you pay for!! And were the hell are the movers! I bet that idiot let them actually have a break. Shheshhh!! Well it?s a good thing I?m hear.?
J?inn slowly exited the vehicle. ?Great Bast it?s hot here!!? he complained. Although his bulk remained as cool as possible in a fine pair of linen trousers and a silk Cuban shirt. The Stacey Adams loafers set it all off nicely. He adjusted his sunglasses, took a puff on his Hoya de Monterrey Excailber 1500 and started to stride across the yard.
Upon reaching the porch he saw S?Cippo, the lovely Dr. Nyet, and an old disheveled Gorn. Ujin, if he remembered correctly. Nyet was sweating, J?inn notice. ?Hmmm arousing? he thought. The two Gorn were panting heavily.
?Umm. Why are you idiots outside?? J?inn asked. ?You should be inside relaxing. And where the hell are the movers.?
?Movers?? S?cippo asked.
?Yes! The movers you asked me to come over and manage for you! By the way, we must discuss my fee.? J?inn responded.
?Umm, J?inn, there are no movers.? S?Cippo said slowly.
J?inn roared with laughter. ?You hired some cheap cut rate company and they didn?t show.? He gasped while laughing.
?No J?inn, I never hired any movers at all.? S?Cippo said slowly.
It was then that J?inn notice the large device around Ujin?s neck.
?Hey, why does Ujin have an Orion slavers collar on?? J?inn asked and then got a blank look on his face as his brain realized the horror.
?We?re the movers J?inn? Dr. Nyet said.
Time slowed to a stop. J?inn looked at the three of them. S?Cippo looked back sadly. Ujin whimpered. Dr. Nyet merely smiled sweetly. And somewhere . . . in the distance . . . a dog barked.
?OH DEAR LORD NO!!!!? J?inn screamed and started to run.
?He?s making a break for it!? S?Cipio yelled as Dr. Nyet raised her disruptor pistol.
The beam slammed into J?inn left buttocks disrupting the neural transmissions to his muscles. Down he went. His only thought being concern over the grass stains on his pants. Well that and the sheer horror of the situation.
He awoke to Dr. Nyet pointing a disruptor pistol at him. The Slavers collar itched.
?I don?t care if this thing blows my head off!! J?inn don?t do manual labor!!? The large white beast hissed.
?Oh this is an improved version.? Dr. Nyet said softly. ?Allow me to demonstrate.?
She pushed a button on her belt and the sounds of ?Sally Strouthers Sings Your Favorite Motown Hits? blared out of the speakers on the collar.
J?inn fell to the ground writhing in pain. ?Turn it off Oh dear lord turn it off? he screamed.
<grumble>
A quasi-true story.
Topic: Moving Day (Read 1912 times)