Topic: joke  (Read 1003 times)

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Offline Don Karnage

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joke
« on: August 19, 2004, 01:15:24 pm »
The DACHSHUND & THE LEOPARD

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her
faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the Dachshund starts
chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.


So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction
with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some
bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the
bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of
terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a near tree
figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection
from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and
figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the
leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop
on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and
thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits
down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet..
and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says...

"Where's that bloody monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!"

So remember .......
"IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH BS"

Offline interloper

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  • mines are loaded and the motor is redlined
Re: joke
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2004, 05:14:56 pm »
 ;D
Remembering U of I #40, Always in our hearts and minds
"don't think you understand what I told you until I tell you what you understand! Do you understand what I am saying?"
OF ALL THINGS LOST I MISS MY MIND THE MOST.......    ?

"What is the vector victor?"
"Rodger, roger."
"I picked a helluva day to quit drinking"


ITS ALL MIND OVER MATTER, IF YOU DON'T MIND IT DON'T MATTER

Offline Capt. Mike

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Re: joke
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2004, 05:15:51 pm »
 ;D          :D

Mike
Summum ius summa iniuria.

The more law, the less justice.

Cicero, De Officiis, I, 33

"It doesn't, and you can't, I won't, and it don't
it hasn't, it isn't, it even ain't, and it shouldn't
it couldn't"
FZ, 1974

My chops were not as fast...[but] I just leaned more on what was in my mind than what was in my chops.  I learned a long time ago that one note can go a long way if it's the right one, and it will probably whip the guy with twenty notes.
 --Les Paul

Offline The_Joker

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Re: joke
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2004, 01:04:48 am »
I really liked that one.  And I can tell it to my 7 year old.   ;D :woot: :thumbsup:
"Look at him now, poor fellow. That's what a dose of reality does for you... Never touch the stuff myself, you understand. Find it gets in the way of the hallucinations."

Ravok

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Re: joke
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2004, 01:58:46 am »
 :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup:
Thanks Don! :)

Offline Don Karnage

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Re: joke
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2004, 11:09:51 am »
i got a few more joke, i will post them soon. ;D