Topic: Girls...

[Clark Kent]

last night I had a great night sitting at IHOP talking with a girl I know from karate.  She's cute as a button (even though she's not Asian  ), around 5'0", which, as some may have noted from a previous post, really appeals to me, well endowed, if you catch my drift, and we get along extremeyl well.  So well, in fact, that when the entire group from karate doesn't go out afterwards she and I go out together and will talk, usually, till 2 or later in the morning.  Typically this is the type of thing that clues me in to knowthat I've hit it off with a girl and a relationship is forthcoming.  Normally, I'd want to go after her and start something up with her, despite the fact that she's 6 years younger than me, since I am extremely attracted to her, and click with erh very well.  However, I know that is not a good idea.  Past experience has taught me not to get involved with someone who is in an activity like that with me.  As a result I've mader it a policy not to get invloved with someone I play music with or am in a sport with because when things go bad those activities become intolerably bad.
Oh well...

[Sirgod]

Clark Go for IT man.

I'll relate a Story here for you Bro. Before my Wife and I married, My Sifu's Daughter started Training with us. All the guys would Take It easy on her, Because she was the Sifu's Lil' Girl.

When It came time to spar with her, I knocked her on her Butt. Tim (The Sifu) actually applouded me for Trying to treat her as an Equal, and Not Screwing around like the other guys where trying to do. Within A Year, I had my own school sponcered by him, and Eventualy took over the Riegns of WTMA.

The point is, Just because you share an activity together, doesn't mean that good things can Come from a Healthy Relationship. Granted You want a More Romantic relationship, while mine was just a good Friendship.

Stephen

[Clark Kent]

Thanks Stephen, but I'm kinda set on this.  I've got a good friendship with her, and however long it lasts, it lasts.  But I have no intention of ever moving in a direction that would bring marriage or kids, and her, being a good little catholic girl, would most likely want that.  Also, It's pretty clear that she has little to no experience with men in that kind of way, so I'd rather not dissillusion her with a relationship that could never go anywhere.
Besides, like I said, thing always go badly, so I'd prefer when they do that I am in a position that they don't have to be worse than necessary.

[Byzantine]

Regret can be a heavy load to carry.  As long as you are clear on what you will give you the least cause for regret - it seems your path chooses itself.

[Sirgod]

Understood Clark. I just didn't want you to Pass up what has the potential for a good thing. I know I'd rather have a Spouce who shares my Intrest's, and even Given Differances, Would Complement me as I do her.

Stephen

[Clark Kent]

If I were looking for a spouse I would probably feel the same, but that's not what I want in my life, and above all I don't want to use or abuse a person.  Though she is very mature she is still very naive, and I honestly think that our goals in life are too different for this to work for any period of time.
I've had plenty of times where I did try my best and still had regrets- worse than those times I didn't try, so I'm confident this is the right thing.
Besides, i would like a person who is artistically and athletically inclined, but would prefer it's in similar area, not the same areas as me.  For instance, it would be easier to maintian a relationship with a girl who writes stories or poetry.  I like to weiote too, but am a mere amatuer at it, so it would be easy for me to keep in mind my status compared to a girlfriend who has a much higher level of writing compared to me.  Dating a musician usually has resulted in a competitive environment, same with someone I'm involved in athletics with.  If I were to get to know a swimmer I would want a teamworm or friendly rivalry with them, whereas in a romantic relationship I would prefer one of support and caring. 

[Sirgod]

Those are all good and Great qualities Clark. One of these day's you'll find that person.

another side story, During the Courtship with my wife, She used to hold the Focus Mits for hours each day, as I trained. at the time I was fanatical by taking one day out of the week to Focus on just one Punch, or one kick. around 15 hours a day would I work on perfecting such a thing.

She was very Pleased when another Friend Gave me some old X-ray Paper to punch at. But It was her Intrest in me at this time that I knew she was the one, that I would Always love. Heck she even allowed me to stop a Managers Job with BlockBuster to Run a few schools here in OK.

Granted they have been closed, and the only one's from there I still talk too are My Step Son, and two Lawyers who like to Train about once a month.

The point is , That there is someone out there for you bro. I think you've got your head screwed on right also.  Better to let things Develope or not with this girl or any other , then try and Pursue something that would make you both Misserable. And It sounds like you have a good friend with her there.

Stephen

[Clark Kent]

Thanks for the kind words Stephen.  I may not have the same moral views as other people, but I still try to make sure mine are well founded.
BTW, I am still very dissapointed in you for renouncing your title of Sirgod.  Get back up on that pedastal!
 

[Sirgod]

Thanks for the kind words Stephen.  I may not have the same moral views as other people, but I still try to make sure mine are well founded.
BTW, I am still very dissapointed in you for renouncing your title of Sirgod.  Get back up on that pedastal!
 

LOL, You know, I thought about that for awhile when everything switched over. It's just that with New People coming in, I didn't want to Keep explaining the handle, and I'd rather everyone know by my name.

Of course I might have to request to Frey, Blade, and Kortez, To go back to the original Nomicker.

Stephen

[FPF-DieHard]

Friendships fade, might as well get laid. 

[J. Carney]

Friendships fade, might as well get laid. 

Shallow, DieHard... like grade school shallow.

I have some female friends that would disagree with you on that one. When I get married, my 'best man' is going to be a female, and I will be worked into her wedding somehow- if only as an usher (she can wear a tux top and skirt, but neither of us can see me in a dress). We've known each other since 5th grade and we have no indications that we will ever cease to be friends- even after 15 years.

Clark,

Kudos on the way you have decided to handle this. Being a friend first and a gentleman above all will make sure that you build something lasting. Romance or no, I hope you get a good thing going with her... female friends give the best advice relationship wise.

[Clark Kent]

Friendships fade, might as well get laid. 

This may not be gentleman-like, but I look at it like this:  Yeah, I'd like to get laid, but what's the point if it's just wham bam thank you ma'am?  There's no point to it, and it's not wirth the trouble you have to go through to make it happen.  After all, all that flirting, seducing etc for the trouble to just have the urge come back 15 minutes later anyway.  Nope, not worth it.
Besides, most of the fun is when there is some real intimacy and passion involved.

[Core]

well said

[AlienLXIX]

I had sort of the same situation with Ferret, Clark. 

He tells our story better because he was more "with it" than I was at the time.  What I mean to say is that I was tottally overloaded with being a mother of two toddlers, I worked nights, I wasn't getting any support from my then current husband, and a major case of depression. 

I've known Steve (Ferret) since '94 and we met at a comic book/gaming store in Norfolk, VA called Campaign HQ.  It was a quiet time for the store as I put my books on the miniatures table he was sitting at.  I couldn't help but stare at him, he looked so familiar and for some reason I couldn't figure out he felt like home (Hawaii) to me.  Finally he looks up at me and asked me why I was staring at him.  ACK!  One of the few times in my whole life where I swear I had a full body blush going on!  LOL  So here I am, feeding my son his bottle and stammering like a giddy school girl.  All I could blurt out is, "Are you part Filipino?"  Gods, I felt like I really needed the ground to open up under me RIGHT NOW!  I think I surprised him and he said yes.  I let it go at that and went back to being embarrassed. 

It wasn't until we met again at a mutual friend's house for a LARP Vampire game and I brought along some local snax my mom had sent me in a care package that we really became friends.  I knew I had a friend for life when I opened up a bag of li hing mui and Steve says, "Holy $h!t!  Is that what I think it is?!"  Now I have been told by some of my mainland friends that li hing mui looks like small dog turds and that it's taste is something so indescribable they couldn't even finish their sample so imagine my surprise when he goes on to say, "I haven't had that stuff in years!  Can I have one please?"  Then he goes on to tell me that he had lived in Hawaii for many years before his dad retired from the Navy. 

Skip a few years and Steve and I are still friends.  He knows all the guys I've slept with in our group and he was seeing my downward spiral gather momentum.  There wasn't much he could do but he tried to help when he was able.  He had to leave for a deployment around Thanksgiving of '96 and during that time we had moved to a town house on the border of Chesapeake and Va. Beach and I lost touch with him.  I missed him and I thought about him a lot but . . . .

OK the truth is I wasn't email or computer savvy in anyway and I couldn't figure out how to send email . . .  and I lost his ship's address in the move so it wasn't until he hunted me down and showed up on my front door step just to see me and my boys.  Just me and my boys!  No body else, not my husband, not my house mate but me!  All I could think was WOW! How freaking cool is that?!

That was in May of '97 it wasn't until a month later we became something more than friends.  I felt the same way you do, Clark, I felt like I was Frucking up a perfectly good friendship and changing it forever when we ended up in bed together.  And yet it was like everything was so new, so exciting.  Touching was like warm silk and electricity!  Hel he wanted my kiss and no-one had wanted that from me for years! 

Have you ever felt as if you were drowning and you've passed the part of struggling and are just waiting for the peace of death?  And then all of a sudden there is light and you can breathe easy again?  Being saved, being cared for.  It was scary in so many ways.  I wasn't looking for another lover and I sure wasn't ready for what Steve gave to me so whole heartedly.

It took a short separation for me to realize I truly do love him.  I kept wanting to turn around and talk to him or touch him while he visiting his folks in CT.  I couldn't stop talking about him and I still haven't. 

I tell you all of this because, if it's meant to happen then it will.  It took Steve and I years to be together and unlike the fairy tails that end with "happily ever after" it isn't that easy.  Truth, honesty and conversations is the best way to keep a friendship and a marriage together.  OK yes for us it's lots of sex and I agree what's the point of sex if you can't feel?

Sorry this was so long but hey it's another way for me to tell Steve I love him more each day!   

[Sirgod]

You know what, If I haven't told Steve this before, I'll tell him Now. He is a Class Act from the word Go. Hearing this from One of my best Friends, and Biggest Flirts here, I have to say my Admiration of Ferrit Just shot up about 1000%.

Kudos to you Steve. That's a Class one Gentlemen there.

Stephen

[Clark Kent]

Have you ever felt as if you were drowning and you've passed the part of struggling and are just waiting for the peace of death?  And then all of a sudden there is light and you can breathe easy again?  Being saved, being cared for...

Yeah, I have, and she left me over a year ago cuz i wasn't worth her trouble.  Gotten kinda tired of hearing it, so thinking long term in a relationship isn't a priority anymore.  Actually, knowing someone would expect something long term from me is enough to make me say no way.
I'm glad things worked out so well for you.  You're a very lucky woman.

[J. Carney]

my Admiration of Ferrit Just shot up about 1000%.

Sounds like the man should give lessons, he's a real Mensch.

Way to go, Ferret.

[Rolling]

Wow!!!

I'm impressed and actually got chill bumps when I read your thread.

I say you should stick with the promise you made yourself.

How long will you be taking karate?  Is this a life commentment?

Even if it is, you two will grow together as friends.  Then you will discover that there is no other way for the relationship to go!!!!

Unless, you don't grow close as friends, but then you can still speak to each other.

Give it time!!!  I'm so glad to see someone make a choice and stick with it.

I worked with my husband for years before we started dating.  But that is another story.


Kimberly

[Clark Kent]

I'm glad I left an impresison.  I was actually worried I would come off as a sexist pig unintentionally (as opposed to the numerous jokes I've made on this and the taldren board that made me look that way intentionally).
I'm taking karate as somethign for fun, and originally I had planned to take itfor life, or at least years to come.  However, I don't know for sure anymore.  I've been in this for over 2 years now, and have yet to be allowed to test up to another level, when there are those who haven't learned as much as me who are being sped through the process.  this wouldn't bother me, but I don't get to learn anything new, since the sensei has decided that I'm not ready, even though I'm at least on par with those around me. Also, I've missed most of the summer because of summer evening classes, and as such my chance to finally test has been revoked, even though those around me have missed just about as much time.
The short answer is, the sensei has a problem with favoritism- some get left behind regardless of their effort, while others are passed, again, regardless of their effort.  Still though, I have a few friends in that group.  Even if I do leave karate, when things go bad I'll have to go through the whole fighting thing and getting everyone else caught up in the middle of it.

[Ferretlxix_XC]

Wow! First off, thanks for all the kind words. 
Second, Clark you are doing the right thing.  If you need to pursue a more intimate relationship with this woman, then you'll know when the time is right.  I's more valuable to have a friendship that you can rely to fall back on and enjoy.   If it's meant to go the further step, then you'll know it if not, she'll give you signs if she wants more than what is going on right now.

Amy and I have something that we really developed over time and at the time and I'm loving every minute that not only our friendship strengthend but, our lives blossomed as well.