Topic: ATTN H.R.H. Fluf

[KAT J'inn]

KZINTI INFORMATION MINISTRY

TOP SECRET



DATE: T?hres 45, Fluf 1

TO:   HRH

FM:   MinInt

Re:     Alliances


To His Most Viciousness, Patriarch Fluf:


I, J?inn, your most humble and adorable Servant report and inquire as follows . . .


1)   Latest reconnaissance reports indicate that the Hydrans are close to contacting the Federation.   Despite our warnings to the Hairless Ones it seems their bureaucracy simply will not act on the behalf of the Hydrans without a more direct plea for help.   Hopefully, the Hydrans will be successful.   We are doing what we can to assist but our resources are low.

2)   The Klingons have continued to assault Kzinti space. Of this you are aware.  However, I must report to you that the Ministry?s Analysts have concluded that M?Raa itself will fall within five years if we do not receive aid from an outside power.   The reporting Analysts have been executed for their unsupportive view of course. 

3)    I must question our continued alliance with the ?do nothing? Federation.   They have offered no help other than their renowned ability to talk the enemy to death.   If they are not with us, they are against us.  Besides, they just smell so delicious.   Especially when they have eaten garlic.  Think of it, no fangs, no claws, no fur, no horns. Just soft and pink.   Mmmm!!   Really, I think we should approach the Gorn about an Alliance.   They are true warriors and lets face it, not very appetizing.    Plus, don?t get me started about that pompous jerk Kirk.  Hero my hind quarters.   A real hero would march into the Federation Council and demand that the every Klingon be killed, dipped in Harrrish Sauce and eaten!

Lets do lunch.


------- END ---------

[Gook]

To J'inn Minister of Information

From Captain Gook

Classicification Eyes only

Reports from sp..... operatives at SBI9 indicate a movement of Federation forces from space dock.

Further analysis of COMMs traffic indicates  a high probablility that a significant section of the Federation Navy has put to "sea"

Further analysis required but indications are it may well be 1AF and Capt.Jeff is leading them out. Destination unknown.

I have a fair idea where they may be headed, so the Gookster will be on extended "trials" while seeking to rendezvous with these redoudtable allies. If true then we may well have the start of UFP mobilisation. This can only be a god thing. If not I have a recipe for pink soft things .

Capt. Gook out.

authorisation Kiloalphatango.001

[Kroma BaSyl]

 If not I have a recipe for pink soft things .

So you admit to being a member (pun intended) of WANKER.

[el-Karnak]

KZINTI INFORMATION MINISTRY

TOP SECRET



DATE: T?hres 45, Fluf 1

TO:   HRH

FM:   MinInt

Re:     Alliances


To His Most Viciousness, Patriarch Fluf:


I, J?inn, your most humble and adorable Servant report and inquire as follows . . .


1)   Latest reconnaissance reports indicate that the Hydrans are close to contacting the Federation.   Despite our warnings to the Hairless Ones it seems their bureaucracy simply will not act on the behalf of the Hydrans without a more direct plea for help.   Hopefully, the Hydrans will be successful.   We are doing what we can to assist but our resources are low.

2)   The Klingons have continued to assault Kzinti space. Of this you are aware.  However, I must report to you that the Ministry?s Analysts have concluded that M?Raa itself will fall within five years if we do not receive aid from an outside power.   The reporting Analysts have been executed for their unsupportive view of course. 

3)    I must question our continued alliance with the ?do nothing? Federation.   They have offered no help other than their renowned ability to talk the enemy to death.   If they are not with us, they are against us.  Besides, they just smell so delicious.   Especially when they have eaten garlic.  Think of it, no fangs, no claws, no fur, no horns. Just soft and pink.   Mmmm!!   Really, I think we should approach the Gorn about an Alliance.   They are true warriors and lets face it, not very appetizing.    Plus, don?t get me started about that pompous jerk Kirk.  Hero my hind quarters.   A real hero would march into the Federation Council and demand that the every Klingon be killed, dipped in Harrrish Sauce and eaten!

Lets do lunch.


------- END ---------

Dear Kzin guys:

We're gonna kick their butts.  You wanna follow the rainbow to the pot of gold at the end or do ya wanna miss the bus?

BTW, don't eat the Klingon POWs raw.  It's not polite.  According to the *scribble, scribble* Geneva Convention *scribble, scribble*, you should BBQ them first and add marinara sauce. And, no tasting the fingers in kitchen before the Klink's fully cooked.

Please save some left-overs for the dog.

Thanks.

Under-cover Feddie Frog,
ISC Intelligence, Alien Observance section, Tier IVB, A1.

[Capt_Bearslayer_XC]

Why did I think I saw H & R Puff'n'Stuff in the title?

[FPF-AJTK]

<set subspace channel 98.8/sub-section19Aencrypt/zetacrypto>

TO: Patriarch, Kzinti Hegemony
FR:  StarFleet Command, Military Operations Section

The Federation Council has concluded the debate as to whether StarFleet would move to assist the Kzin and Hydrans.

Due to the sucessful arrival of the Hydran Expeditionary Force and learning first hand of the grave plight of the Hydran Kingdom, as well as the fledgling LDR, and seeing the current Klingon advance into Kzin space, the Federation Council has approved StarFleet to move with all possible haste to reposition military assets (see following posts from individual Fleet/TF Commanders) to assist the Kzinti Hegemony in its defense vs the Klingon Empire.

StarFleet will move all available assets to the Federation/Klingon border and with the permission of the Patriarch will begin moving assets into Kzin territory itsself to directly engage in combat operations vs the Klingon invaders. Please Coordinate with StarFleet Commander Wanderer about appropriate lanes of travel thru Kzin space, as well as possible bases/planets to use for Federation resupply points. Having local supplies of drones of the lastest design would be EXTREMELY helpful, at least until our supply lines are fully established.

The United Federation of Planets will not stand idly by and see its Allies attacked in force and not respond. Old treaties are still binding and StarFleet WILL stand shoulder to shoulder with its Kzin bretheren against this common foe.

<PS Plz tell that intel ditz J'inn to stop dissing Admiral James T. Kirk, we all have his picture in our wallets>
<PPS NO FINGER BITING when we try to shake hands>

[_SSCF_Hooch]

See thread called "WAR!"

[FVA_C_ Blade_ XC]

Fluf wont see this he is too busy playing Evercrack in space!


EVE Online,pay for play...acccccck! me too cheap for dat!

[FPF-AJTK]

LOL, i wish we could get as many people on a server as they do in the EVE room, rofl

[FVA_C_ Blade_ XC]

LOL, i wish we could get as many people on a server as they do in the EVE room, rofl

LOL,It would crash!

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Fluf wont see this he is too busy playing Evercrack in space!


EVE Online,pay for play...acccccck! me too cheap for dat!

Don't worry Blade I got a Z-CC in the yard with your name on it, free of charge.  Sure it will suffice to deal with your old Gorn enemies now aiding the Klingons. 

[_SSCF_Hooch]

KAT Chuut-Ritt

Anyone got a snack? Like a Federation <-----this does not look good for allied races. 

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

KAT Chuut-Ritt

Anyone got a snack? Like a Federation <-----this does not look good for allied races. 

I didn't say of a Federation Ensign now did I?  It's plainly obvious that due to our Alliance I'm looking for a substitute for my old favorite snack, thus it reads like a Federation Ensign.  That clarify things....Ally?   Just don't point your finger at me, it makes my stomach growl........

[SSCF-LeRoy]

KAT Chuut-Ritt

Anyone got a snack? Like a Federation <-----this does not look good for allied races. 

Don't worry 'bout it, Hooch. My ships cook happens to be oriental and can whip up some yummy kitty recipes in case our "allies" git too rambunctious

[_SSCF_Hooch]

Just don't point your finger at me, it makes my stomach growl........

The finger I am pointing at you is not a sign of friendship 

[Fluf]

LOL, i wish we could get as many people on a server as they do in the EVE room, rofl

LOL,It would crash!

Yeah imagine having 10,000 people on a single server at once!  Well Eve has that.  Average players during the week are between 4 and 6K at all times, with it peaking at 10K on the weekend.  New corporation I started there has 30 and growing lol.  But Ill be around for GW3 some.

[KAT Chuut-Ritt]

Just don't point your finger at me, it makes my stomach growl........

The finger I am pointing at you is not a sign of friendship 

Good then the finger is not Allied.....

<Chomp>



<M'ress and Gook pull Chuut away from the Federation delegation making apologies>

M'ress:  You idiot you bit of his "Z" finger, hows he gonna help us now?

Gook:  Not to mention the legal implications, we could be in big trouble here

Chuut:  Will you defend me Gook?

Gook:  Sure but this will be tough.

Green: <looking through diplomatic rule book> Actually not, this is technically Kzin territory at the embassy, so Kzin law applies.  Either trial by combat, Chuut can surely take 9 fingers with no "Z" finger or Hooch would have to.......OMG.......<Green collapses in laughter>

M'ress:  Or what?

Gook:  Or........<snicker> <Snicker>  *sputter* <collapses beside Green>


M'ress:  What is so darned funny? or what?

J'inn:  or Hooch needs to be represented by a licensed Kzin attorney.  Since Gook is defending Chuut that would mean......

M'Ress and Chuut:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <fall to floor in laughter as medic start applying oxygen to Green and Gook who have turned purplish already due to excessive laughter.

J'inn: .......me, HEY!!!,  THAT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL

Hooch:  <Wimper>  Guess its combat then, least I have a better chance "Z" finger or not.

<Chuut laughs so hard Hooch's finger pops back out almost totally intact>

Soreyes:  Its MINE now <Grabs at finger>

Gook: <recovered now> Gimme that <Snatches finger from Soreyes' paws>  is there a doctor in the House?

Azteca (from Fed delegation):  Here

Gook:  Can you sew this on?

Azteca:  <Spanish accent>Why would you need an human finger?

Gook :  Not me, it is Hooch that need surgery.

Azteca:<Spanish accent>  Oh sure, no problem, just need him to fill out the release in triplicate, legal reasons you know.

J'inn and Gook:  we understand.

Hooch:  But I cant write either without that finger.

Soreyes:  Then it is MINE!  SNACKTIME!

Azteca: <Spanish accent> Unless a relative can sign for you

Hooch:  Thank God!  Call my daughter Ensign Megan Hooch shes a serving on the Rider In White, and can beam down an sign for me.

<Minutes later>

Die Hard:  *drool*  Now thats what I call a fine....

Hooch:  BUTTON IT MISTER! OR YOUR BANNED!

Die Hard:  Again?  <Wimper>

Dizzy:  Man I'd.....

Hooch:  STFU

Dizzy:  <Wimper>

KRolling:  Hooch your daughter is just lovel.......

Hooch:  WANT ANOTHER COURT MARSHALL?

KRolling:  Hey I'm female too I wasn't gonna

Hooch:  You had J'inn in your lap Missy, I don't trust your morals anymore either.  Now, Megan dear fill out the forms for Daddykins please.

Megan:  Do I get a new runabout then?

Hooch:  Have you been consorting with....., oh nevermind, sure I'll pull some strings and get you a new one, now sign for daddy.

<Meagan fills out paperwork>

Hooch:  You are experienced with plastic and reconstructive surgery aren't you Azteca?

Azteca:<Spanish accent>  Well i did do Tracey G

Die Hard:  Now thats what I call a resume.

Hooch: well ok then lets do it

<4 hours later>

Azteca:<Spanish accent>  well the surgery is over and was a complete sucess.

Wanderer:  Cool Beans Man!  I'm glad you got Hooch's finger back on!

Azteca:  <Spanish accent>  Finger? what finger?  I just reconstructed his figure like he asked.

Wanderer:  Dude he said Finger not figure

Azteca; <Spanish accent>  OOPS!

KRolling:  What exactly did you do to Hooch?  We'd better have a look.

Die Hard:  You Frickin' better not have..........<looks through operating room door>......OMG!!!..... I think I'm in Love!



Hooch:  What are you all staring at?

Durin:  <on next operating table>  Welcome to the club!

[Capt Jeff]

Hooch:  What are you all staring at?

NEWSFLASH:  Ann Arbor Mi, Earth, UFP.

A earthquake of the magnitude of 8.4 was felt throughout the city as a man in front of his computer let out the largest   <SHUDDER>     ever seen by mankind....

[Father Ted]

Hooch:  What are you all staring at?

NEWSFLASH:  Ann Arbor Mi, Earth, UFP.

A earthquake of the magnitude of 8.4 was felt throughout the city as a man in front of his computer let out the largest   <SHUDDER>     ever seen by mankind....

Looks at Hooch and just shakes head... "the horror....the horror....."

[Gook]