How much would you pay for a device that sharpened knives into RAZORS?
Wait! Don't answer yet!
What about including a FIRE STARTER, CLOTHES WASHER and a handy WEAPON OF WAR?
Wait! Don't answer yet!
What about including a device so powerful it can destroy massive space going battleships with it's mere touch?
You get all this and SO MUCH MORE with:
ROCK!
It's a salesmen quote from another game, but I find it suiting here, particulary with the last selling line replaced thus.
Edit: Man, there are just soooo many ways to make fun of this, and not nearly enough time.