Please forgive me for making you a target of my recent frustrations.
Agave
Yes that is my job Julian, as a bartender and Agave's longtime friend.
Why just the other day he came into my bar and was venting his frustrations on me.
Agave: Chuut! Chuut! Leave those strippers from next door for a second and get me a drink will you?
Chuut: Yes ladies, I guess I can find time to swing by the club for a couple of drinks, but please, this time let me pay for my own drinks ok? I mean its nice of you to buy em for me but you work hard for the money and I wouldn't want you not to be able to afford those nice leather......
Agave:
CHUUT! Get your butt over here! NOW!!!!Chuut: If you will excuse me for a minute Angelic, Jasmine, and of course the lovely....
Agave:
CHUUT!!!!!Chuut: Sheesh! ok bro whats the urgent matter!
Agave: The ISC have been posting about....
Chuut: PPD, Plasma torps, pfs.......<shakes head in sympathy and takes down Ceurvo 1800 bottle and begins pouring tequilla into a pint beer glass>
Agave: <gulps down entire glass and stretches for a refill> Yup its that same old thing, you know that "sensitive spot"
Chuut: Hmmmm.....this might take a while I guess, whaddya say we go next door and join the girls for a drink there and you can tell Chuut all about it and you will have my full attention......well at least all attention not involving sight and touch.
<3 hours later>
Agave: And then the Monkeyboys took our F-Torp and are claiming the F stands for Federation instead of Frog Gigging, the nerve........Ummm my glass is empty again....
Waitress: I'm sorry sir but we are now out of Tequilla <gestures at multiple empty bottles in front of Agave.
Agave:
WHAT???? NO MORE TEQUILLA????Chuut: <looking out between 2 ladies on his lap> Oh you shouldn't have said that sweetie.
Agave
NO MORE TEQUILLA!!!!!Chuut: Damn!...this could get ugly.......Wait!, Ummm Agave, friend, they still have some don't you sweat it! Just let Chuut handle this.
Chuut: <whispers to waitress> Follow my lead, trust me its all for the better
Chuut: They still got Tequilla bro, its just in a mix with other liquors premade, besides you might even like it mixed properly, I'll go speak to the bartender, she's a good friend of mine and will set you up right.
Agave: Well,.....you know I prefer it straight, but as long as it has tequilla in it it cant be all bad.
Chuut: Fiona, you and Candy keep Agave happy while I'm gone, don't worry I'll be back soon and he's too drunk to grope much.
<Chuut goes to bar>
Ok, Precious, I need you to find me some illegal drugs from the girls dressing room, we both know they are there, so don't deny it. Get as many as possible and mix them with some pineapple and coconut and stick lots of garnishes and some assorted fruit juices and ice cream. Blend em up and fill your biggest glass. Wait that wont be big enough, just hollow out that pineapple over there.
Precious: I can't do that! Its against....
Chuut: Look darlin' see that big Gorn over there? He's drunk 7 bottles of Tequilla and is just drunk enough to ignore a phaser on heavy stun as he goes looking for a secret tequilla stash in the bar.....Comprende?
Well to make a long story short Agave felt much better, Chuut was glad he was using M'ress's Patriarch credit account number (Thanks J'inn
), and now Agave only orders pretty drinks in pineapples with lots of umbrellas in them, I think he's still drugged actually, but hell, the grin on his face makes it all worthwhile (not to mention all those GW3 Klingon battleplans he gave me
.
P.S. I understand hes going to be changing his sig pic to this:
<SNICKER>