Well, not really sure how to start... or what exactly to say.
After something just over two years of playing SFC II in both its' incarnations, my time here has come to a close indefinitely. Real life sometimes just deals out cards that are hard to play and often others make decisions that leave a person no choice but to accept.
My longtime better half and I are parting ways due to her health (diagnosed with a rare thyroid condition that in her own words "is worse than PMS, All the time", still waiting for biopsy results to see if it's also cancerous) and our poor state of finance. For all of you who have asked me over the years about my ships' namesake, it's her. And she largely has been an angel. It's harder than normal for me to accept because, knowing her condition and the fact her doctors all warned us that she'd be an emotional rollercoaster, I'm not sure it's ending for the right reasons. She's also burned out from a year and a half management course where we basically hardly had time for one another because she was so busy.
That long for any couple is bound to cause a rift between them, I suppose... right now stress just makes her condition worse as it quickens whatever antihormones she's producing that are destroying her thyroid, so I'm trying to be noble about it. It's sad because beyond the matter of bills, health, and the fact that her course was so intensive, we were very happy together and I have doubts that what's happening is for the right reasons.
Which brings me here, now... everything we have is going to be sold to pay down our credit debt as best we can. Which sadly includes the only real form of distraction and entertainment I still enjoy, the computer. It was hers to begin with before I upgraded and tweaked it anyway really. Though we're technically married under Canadian laws concerning common law spouses, I have no interest in making this harder than it's already going to be on her so I've made no attempt to keep anything myself including our car. Maybe I'll regret being this soft hearted in the future, but honestly I am the type of person who believes that negative actions never really improve things.
I know I've never been a vocal member of the community, sang drunken songs over voice comms or been a nutter for any of the campaigns I've flown on, but I still feel a sense of belonging here, a home away from home in virtual space if you will. I don't know how long it will take me to rebuild, but I know another computer system is something that can't happen for a long time. I want to say I'll return someday really, but I'm afraid that by the time I can come back the flame wars will have driven everyone apart here. New blood being hard to come by now since Taldren shut things down.. well, it's a depressing thing to think too much about.
There are so many players here who I've fought alongside and against that it's not really feasible to say proper farewells. There really are a lot of good people here, even though I know we get worked up on forums and let our competitive sides get the better of us sometimes. I'll especially miss my fleetmates in the SSCF, a kinder and friendlier group of people I've yet to meet online - I've sort of been one of its' wayward sons, being completely a D2 player with no mic to really socialize or get to know others more personally like I would have liked to have done. But, and any one of them would probably be quick to say, we play to have fun - and I've had a blast.
I'd like to especially thank a few people in particular: KRolling for getting me hooked on forums
these blasted things have taken more of my time than I'd like to admit! I've probably checked all the major SFC boards every day the past few years; TraceyG for our time on IDSL together, way back before the fleet affiliations we have now - it was my first serious d2 and was the deciding factor that made me decide to leave GSA matches behind. Oh, and I thought you were a sweetheart by words alone long before any of your infamous sigs; Freeman and Pestalence in the EFF for my early GSA days and training, Terry for talking to me about joining the SSCF in the beginning; Die Hard for filling in the last few blank spots in what skill I possessed a few campaigns back - I'm sorry I won't be able to wing against the klingons in GW3, you gave me the final bit of confidence I needed to take it to the Coalition PvP wise, may your torps land true always; Hooch for being the type of person I can't help but respect by word and deed, and for being able to raise morale when it things looked dark; All the players who I wish I had time to mention that I've flown with, all the Coalition players who I'm sorry I won't get a chance to know better - especially the ones I faced during RDSL, you'd better all keep those skills sharp because whenever I manage to find my way back here I'm going to hold you all to rematches in semi-normal ships (j/k, it was always in good fun even when it was frustrating). And to anyone who joining in my roleplaying, a special nod to you for allowing me to imagine the command chair underneath me, even just for a little while.
Well.. this is already much longer than I think it should be. I wish you all the best, and you have my heartfelt thanks for the comraderie and fun we've shared here. It's been an honor.
Main reactor is offline, sir. All armanents offloaded, all systems checked and locked down.
Very good, number one... *pauses to keep emotion in check* ... go to minimum power levels and close the seals. It's time for her to take her final rest now.
Aye, Captain.....
It seems as if my journey begins anew now... godspeed to you all and all the best in life.
Signing off,
<S>
SSCF-Paladin
USS Jenn Angel
"A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities"
Topic: A forced farewell. (Read 4069 times)