Topic: GW2 J'inn Goes Nuts (yes a clubhouse thingy, kinda)

[KAT J'inn]

Somewhere in Washington D.C.    . . . .


Our hero, J?inn, sits in the offices of a very well know psychiatrist.   The waiting room is empty.  They schedule it that way.   I just wouldn?t do to have two kleptomaniacs in the waiting room at the same time.  Too hard to watch them both.

J?inn looks around at the expensive yet oh so soothing artwork.  Immediately his keen financial senses spring into gear.   Rent . . . lots.   Furniture . . . lots. . .    Damage to my wallet . . . lots.

He thinks of leaving . .. But no . . .  He needs help.  Badly.

So he waits . . . for a very long time . . .

J?inn: Hey, I?ve been here for 30 minutes.  What gives.

Receptionist: <hand slides down to the stun gun under the counter> The doctor will be with you shortly sir.   He?s just coming back from a conference.

J?inn: APA conference.

Receptionist: No, yacht club.

J?inn:   ugh.   Should I ask how much this is going to cost me?

Receptionist: Depends, what are you here for?

J?inn: Depression.

Receptionist: Ooooo no you don?t want to know.

J?inn: Ugh . . is he a good doctor?

Receptionist: Oh he?s great.   Just look at me.  I?m a recovering nymphomaniac.  Used to be I couldn?t talk to a man for more than a few moments without trying to get him into bed.

J?inn: Reallllllyyyyyy.   <Gets up and walks over to receptionist area> Ya know.  Sometimes I hear it?s good to have a relapse or two.  Trust me.

Receptionist: Really?

J?inn: Absolutely honey.

<interior door flies open>

Doctor: J?inn!!  Get way from her and get in here!

J?inn: Grrrr!

J?inn walks into the office.  It?s nice. Several plastic plants.  The doctor?s barco lounger with a Louisville Slugger propped against it.  And of course . . .  ?The Couch.?

J?inn sits down on the over stuffed couch and fidgets.

Doctor: Well it?s good to see you again J?inn.   Although I never thought I?d see you as a patient.

J?inn: Really?

Doctor: Okay I was being nice.  So what?s up?

J?inn: I?m depressed.

Doctor: Your mother hated you?

J?inn: No.

Doctor: Okay. I?m stumped.  Here take these pills.

J?inn: HEY!!  Your supposed to talk to me!! 

Doctor: <looks longingly at golf clubs in corner>

J?inn: You know, actually therapy here!!

Doctor: They are really good pills.

J?inn: TALK!!

Doctor: Alright . . .   When did you first start feeling depressed?

J?inn: Well being a Kzinti here on Earth is hard and . . .

Doctor: A what?

J?inn: A Kzinti.  You know.  From the planet M?Raa.  Vicious.  Bi-pedal feline.  Yet oh so adorable.

Doctor:   <Flips open pad and starts writing furiously>

J?inn: Well it all started when I decided to come up with the General War Campaigns.

Doctor: <looks up> Wha?

J?inn: It?s an online Star Trek Game.

Doctor: OH DEAR LORD!! <starts writing faster>

J?inn: WHAT!!??

Doctor: <cough> Erm nothing.  Go on.  Actually wait a minute. <hits intercom and yells into it>  Cancel all of my appointment for the next week!   And get out the ?Emergency Kit?   Okay, go ahead.

<In the main room the secretary opens a box holding a large stun gun and starts charging it up>

J?inn: Well I was working on GW2.   You know, the second installment.  And well . . .

Doctor: Is that when you cracked?

J?inn: Nah.  Not then.   I remember it as if it were yesterday . . .   I went to the Clubhouses . .

Doctor: The what?

J?inn: Where the Federation players and the alien players hang out.

Doctor: <writes more>

Ah yes . . .   That is when it started.

Doctor: Go ahead . . .



To be continued . . .

[Sirgod]

Damn J'inn. I f I wasn't so worried about You , I'd Be Laughing My Butt off at this.

I hope your Doing Better Will, and Of course If you ever need anything...

Stephen

[Hexx]

Doctor: Alright . . .   When did you first start feeling depressed?

J?inn: Well being a Kzinti here on Earth is hard and . . .

Doctor: A what?

J?inn: A Kzinti.  You know.  From the planet M?Raa.  Vicious.  Bi-pedal feline.  Yet oh so adorable.

Damn J'inn I am concerned for you and I nearly fell off my chair at this... hope you're feeling better buddy.
Keep it up.

[SSCF-LeRoy]

Woohoo! The master skit writer returns! Hope yer feelin' better

[Lepton]

You'd think that they'd have a larger reaction to seeing a 6 foot bipedal siberian tiger walk into the office.  I guess they just don't see what we all see.  Perhaps a group prescription of anti-psychotics is in order all around.

But, seriously, don't take meds.  They not only screw with your ability to concentrate and think but also with your ability to screw (sexual side-effects).

[likkerpig]

But, seriously, don't take meds.  They not only screw with your ability to concentrate and think but also with your ability to screw (sexual side-effects).

It depends on the person and the meds. If you have adverse reactions to one type, you try another. Life without the meds can be really bad. Myself, no problems with Zoloft. Everything works just dandy south of the border.

[SkyFlyer]

i have no need for medications...

DAMN IT MAKE IT STOP THE VOICES AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DIE ALL OF YOU DAMN IT DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
THE VOICES.... ALLL THE VOICES I FEEL!!!!

*whisper* all alone... no one cares... i hate you all...


like I said... no need for medications.

[SSCF-Rolling]

LOL!!!

I'll have to get the name of the pills my husband took that made him DieHard.   Or a least wanna die, because of.... well...... nevermind.

Good to see you writing, J'inn.  I hope this isn't a cry for help.

At least you left it to be continued.

Love ya,

Kimberly

[likkerpig]

LOL!!!

I'll have to get the name of the pills my husband took that made him DieHard.   Or a least wanna die, because of.... well...... nevermind.

It's called whiskey my dear. My ex kept a bottle in the cupboard for those occasions when she was feeling.... randy.
 

[GDA-Agave]

TAKE THE DRUGS!!

Even if you don't need them, you can always slip them into Chuut's drink next time he's up to the D.C. area.   Talk about entertainment.

Here's an example:

Chuut + RedBull = Joe Pesci  (n'kay, n'kay, n'kay, letme tellya......)
Classic.

Hope your doing well J'inn.  We all miss your 'special' wit you bring to our community.

Take care,

Agave

[Lepton]

A simple reason not to take meds is simply that depression is a much more complicated condition than can be addressed by medication.  Even if we were to assume that depression is totally dependent on only an insufficient amount of seratonin at synapses, these meds are like swatting flies with a shotgun.  There is no possible way to target some "correct" level of seratonin.  The problem would more likely be more systemic and complex than parts  per billion at synapses.

[likkerpig]

A simple reason not to take meds is simply that depression is a much more complicated condition than can be addressed by medication.  Even if we were to assume that depression is totally dependent on only an insufficient amount of seratonin at synapses, these meds are like swatting flies with a shotgun.  There is no possible way to target some "correct" level of seratonin.  The problem would more likely be more systemic and complex than parts  per billion at synapses.

From personal experience I have to disagree with you 100%. A few weeks ago I was in a very bad way. Now I can lead a somewhat normal life, hopefully to get better. For you to advise someone to forgo medication prescribed by a medical professional is very irresponsible.
You have some very scientific lingo there, have you ever suffered from depression? Do you have an alternative to taking meds? Maybe "suck it up and quit feeling sorry for yourself"? or "it's just a phase you are going through"?
Speaking for myself, 7 weeks ago I was going to take my own life, or someone else's. Manic depression. I've had it all my life, recognized the signs and got help. Part of that was medication. I'm alive, four fortunate souls who happened to be around when I was at my lowest moment are alive.
How dare you be so arrogant to tell someone not to take medication, because you don't believe it does any good?

[DAnahos_XC]

Nice to see your sense of humor is intact - I'm mentally passing positive thoughts your way.   

[FPF-DieHard]

Best medication comes in 12 ounce bottles.

BTW, how the hell did this thread turn into a serios thread on medication?

[likkerpig]

Best medication comes in 12 ounce bottles.

BTW, how the hell did this thread turn into a serios thread on medication?

Lepton's arrogance and my inbred thread hijacking ability. A deadly mixture.

[Lepton]

A simple reason not to take meds is simply that depression is a much more complicated condition than can be addressed by medication.  Even if we were to assume that depression is totally dependent on only an insufficient amount of seratonin at synapses, these meds are like swatting flies with a shotgun.  There is no possible way to target some "correct" level of seratonin.  The problem would more likely be more systemic and complex than parts  per billion at synapses.

From personal experience I have to disagree with you 100%. A few weeks ago I was in a very bad way. Now I can lead a somewhat normal life, hopefully to get better. For you to advise someone to forgo medication prescribed by a medical professional is very irresponsible.
You have some very scientific lingo there, have you ever suffered from depression? Do you have an alternative to taking meds? Maybe "suck it up and quit feeling sorry for yourself"? or "it's just a phase you are going through"?
Speaking for myself, 7 weeks ago I was going to take my own life, or someone else's. Manic depression. I've had it all my life, recognized the signs and got help. Part of that was medication. I'm alive, four fortunate souls who happened to be around when I was at my lowest moment are alive.
How dare you be so arrogant to tell someone not to take medication, because you don't believe it does any good?

Manic-depression is signficantly different from situational depression which I would assume that J'inn would be suffering from at this point in his life.  You should certainly be on meds if you are a danger to others or yourself.  In fact, if you are, have been, or continue to be suicidal, you should be under observation.  Bipolar disorder is indeed a lifelong problem but situational depression is not and you may be surprised to know that bipolar disorder can be treated with a completely different set of medication than is depression in general.  Those most efficacious often retard seratonin at synapses rather than enhance it as do MAOs, although I may be misremembering this as it has been some time since I looked at these issues.

There is a general trend in this society to medicate problems, Viagra, Ritalin, Zoloft, etc, etc, rather than address the root cause of disease.  Situational depression would be much more effectively handled by the "talking cure" than popping Zoloft.  And just for your information, I happen to have a degree in psychology, so I feel that gives me some room to speak.  I am not a licensed physician but anyone that is functional enough to seek help, write a comedic piece about it, and is likely suffering from a situational depression due to a tramatic life event is certainly not a candidate for medication in my book.

By the way, I am glad you are feeling better and that you got the help you needed.

[likkerpig]

Manic-depression is signficantly different from situational depression which I would assume that J'inn would be suffering from at this point in his life.  You should certainly be on meds if you are a danger to others or yourself.  In fact, if you are, have been, or continue to be suicidal, you should be under observation.  Bipolar disorder is indeed a lifelong problem but situational depression is not and you may be surprised to know that bipolar disorder can be treated with a completely different set of medication than is depression in general.  Those most efficacious often retard seratonin at synapses rather than enhance it as do MAOs, although I may be misremembering this as it has been some time since I looked at these issues.

There is a general trend in this society to medicate problems, Viagra, Ritalin, Zoloft, etc, etc, rather than address the root cause of disease.  Situational depression would be much more effectively handled by the "talking cure" than popping Zoloft.  And just for your information, I happen to have a degree in psychology, so I feel that gives me some room to speak.  I am not a licensed physician but anyone that is functional enough to seek help, write a comedic piece about it, and is likely suffering from a situational depression due to a tramatic life event is certainly not a candidate for medication in my book.

By the way, I am glad you are feeling better and that you got the help you needed.

As I said, I can only speak from personal experience. One of the groups I was a part of advocated not taking medication, for some of the same reasons you stated. It was definately the wrong thing for me to do.
Now if I could get a magic pill that would stop my urges to hijack threads, the world would be a better place!

[762_XC]

Best medication comes in 12 ounce bottles.

Yes but it's more expensive to buy Dewar's that way.

[Age]

A simple reason not to take meds is simply that depression is a much more complicated condition than can be addressed by medication.  Even if we were to assume that depression is totally dependent on only an insufficient amount of seratonin at synapses, these meds are like swatting flies with a shotgun.  There is no possible way to target some "correct" level of seratonin.  The problem would more likely be more systemic and complex than parts  per billion at synapses.

From personal experience I have to disagree with you 100%. A few weeks ago I was in a very bad way. Now I can lead a somewhat normal life, hopefully to get better. For you to advise someone to forgo medication prescribed by a medical professional is very irresponsible.
You have some very scientific lingo there, have you ever suffered from depression? Do you have an alternative to taking meds? Maybe "suck it up and quit feeling sorry for yourself"? or "it's just a phase you are going through"?
Speaking for myself, 7 weeks ago I was going to take my own life, or someone else's. Manic depression. I've had it all my life, recognized the signs and got help. Part of that was medication. I'm alive, four fortunate souls who happened to be around when I was at my lowest moment are alive.
How dare you be so arrogant to tell someone not to take medication, because you don't believe it does any good?

Manic-depression is signficantly different from situational depression which I would assume that J'inn would be suffering from at this point in his life.  You should certainly be on meds if you are a danger to others or yourself.  In fact, if you are, have been, or continue to be suicidal, you should be under observation.  Bipolar disorder is indeed a lifelong problem but situational depression is not and you may be surprised to know that bipolar disorder can be treated with a completely different set of medication than is depression in general.  Those most efficacious often retard seratonin at synapses rather than enhance it as do MAOs, although I may be misremembering this as it has been some time since I looked at these issues.

There is a general trend in this society to medicate problems, Viagra, Ritalin, Zoloft, etc, etc, rather than address the root cause of disease.  Situational depression would be much more effectively handled by the "talking cure" than popping Zoloft.  And just for your information, I happen to have a degree in psychology, so I feel that gives me some room to speak.  I am not a licensed physician but anyone that is functional enough to seek help, write a comedic piece about it, and is likely suffering from a situational depression due to a tramatic life event is certainly not a candidate for medication in my book.

By the way, I am glad you are feeling better and that you got the help you needed.

I do some work in this field and know a quite a great deal about this and I would not advise him of stop taking his medication.If you have a psychology degree you would know better than to tell someone to stop taking their meds.This person we are talking about has probably been suffering with this for sometime now and has putting off getting treatment saying no I don't have depression.This is being in denial of what he could be suffering from. I work with those that suffer from schizophrenia,bipolar,unipolar disorders and all sorts of Anxiety disorders.

   Yes there are side affects but over time the will wear off once you have found the medication that is right for you.How can you talk about Viagra and Ritalin they are not psychotropic medications.we don't know what this person is really diagnosed with so don't make false assumptions.You may have a psychology degree but you are working in the field are you.I not giving medical advice out and I would suggest you do the same.The only advice I will give to this person is support.

[KAT J'inn]

HEY!!    THIS IS MY NUTS THREAD!!   GO GET YER OWN!!

Sheesh.

Can't a guy spam the forums anymore with mindless drivel?   I swear.   <grumble>

Besides I'm going to prove, metaphysically and beyond a shadow of a doubt,  that all of my problems (well except for the low fiber thingy) are the fault of a single person here.

No, shockingly, NOT FLUF!

Stay tuned.
 
Same Lithium Time.  Same Lithium Channel.

[likkerpig]

Sorry Jinn. A few of us have tried to keep up your good work while you've been away (LeRoy definitely has talent!) but it all pales in comparison to the master!
 
Mmmmm, lithium. Is it any good with malt likker?

[Sten]

HEY!!    THIS IS MY NUTS THREAD!!   GO GET YER OWN!!

Sheesh.

Can't a guy spam the forums anymore with mindless drivel?   I swear.   <grumble>

Besides I'm going to prove, metaphysically and beyond a shadow of a doubt,  that all of my problems (well except for the low fiber thingy) are the fault of a single person here.

No, shockingly, NOT FLUF!

Stay tuned.
 
Same Lithium Time.  Same Lithium Channel.

Cuz take care of yourself.

Lithium the toxic mineral that can help people suffering from Bipolar disorder.

If you don't mind the weekly blood test.

Oh well back to hunting on Naboo this week. All Gungans must die!

[Mog]

Hey Will, good to see you pop in here again.

There's a possibility we may be in Florida for Christmas this year for a week. Would be great to meet up again.

[FireSoul]

HEY!!    THIS IS MY NUTS THREAD!!   GO GET YER OWN!!

Sheesh.

Can't a guy spam the forums anymore with mindless drivel?   I swear.   <grumble>

Besides I'm going to prove, metaphysically and beyond a shadow of a doubt,  that all of my problems (well except for the low fiber thingy) are the fault of a single person here.

No, shockingly, NOT FLUF!

Stay tuned.
 
Same Lithium Time.  Same Lithium Channel.

Me?

[Hexx]

HEY!!    THIS IS MY NUTS THREAD!!   GO GET YER OWN!!

Sheesh.

Can't a guy spam the forums anymore with mindless drivel?   I swear.   <grumble>

Besides I'm going to prove, metaphysically and beyond a shadow of a doubt,  that all of my problems (well except for the low fiber thingy) are the fault of a single person here.

No, shockingly, NOT FLUF!

Stay tuned.
 
Same Lithium Time.  Same Lithium Channel.

Me?

Don't be absurd... no one thinks you're cool enough to blame for everything.


The easy money's on Chuut.. but I think gamblers might wanna check out the actiopn on Scipio

[Lepton]

Age,

One does not need meds for situational depression.  That's all that need be said.  The fact that a psychiatrist may think the converse just shows that he has come under the influence of the medicalization of our culture and of the treatment of mental health issues in general.  I made my med remarks within the context of J'inn's story assuming that this was the context of a real life situation for him.  I have no power over him and he certainly need not listen to me, so I feel every right to make comments that are consistent with my values and with the facts.

Additionally, the extant psychological research tends to show that medication for depression works for as long as it is given, but once people go off meds the effects are gone, while therapy works as well as meds but its effects remain after therapy stops. It's just as if one had high cholesterol and started taking Lipotor or something like that without making lifestyle changes.  If you go off the meds, your LDLs are back up where they were. Situational depression is the same way.  One needs to work through the emotions and the ideas that come up in the face of trauma for there to be any lasting effects on one's mental health if you want to call it that. 

And, and, and, and, and.  J'inn as a consumer of mental health care has a right to know what his options are and what the facts actually are.  If his visit above is any indication of his acutal visit to a psychiatrist, then it would be clear that he is not getting the whole story.  Hell, he says he wants the talking cure in the damn story, folks.  I was supporting his desire for it if I am reading him right. 

That's the last I will say on the issue.

[Age]

Age,

One does not need meds for situational depression.  That's all that need be said.  The fact that a psychiatrist may think the converse just shows that he has come under the influence of the medicalization of our culture and of the treatment of mental health issues in general.  I made my med remarks within the context of J'inn's story assuming that this was the context of a real life situation for him.  I have no power over him and he certainly need not listen to me, so I feel every right to make comments that are consistent with my values and with the facts.

Additionally, the extant psychological research tends to show that medication for depression works for as long as it is given, but once people go off meds the effects are gone, while therapy works as well as meds but its effects remain after therapy stops. It's just as if one had high cholesterol and started taking Lipotor or something like that without making lifestyle changes.  If you go off the meds, your LDLs are back up where they were. Situational depression is the same way.  One needs to work through the emotions and the ideas that come up in the face of trauma for there to be any lasting effects on one's mental health if you want to call it that.  That's the last I will say on the issue.

Yes but he is on a mood disorder medication.This something you don't stop taking or anybody for that fact.It would be great if evertone could stop taking their meds but then all psych wards will start to fill up again.I have never heard of situational depression unless you are feeling depressed cause you lost a bet or just feeling down.This what we are talking about is medical condition.I don't like to see those that are suffering from mental health problems on meds but untill something better comes along we are stuck with them.

   There is always electro convulsive thereby aka electro shock thereby.This would help a great deal but you lose short term memory when undergoing this treatment.This is as far as I want to take this I am not going to post on this anymore untill you know what you talking about.

[Capt_Bearslayer_XC]

Glad to see you back and in good form.

To bad Kroma asked for a Monday-Tuesday drinking night... I could make it  up this weekend.

[KAT J'inn]

Lepton & Age:

What I write is based, usually, on my own wry look at life.  It's not factual.  It's my interpretation (via my scotch addled brain) of the factual.   Don't read so much into it.  It's for giggles only.

I just write for fun.  Nothing more.   Well unless I'm getting paid to write, but that's different.

As for me, I'm fine.   Thank you for the concern.  You are both good guys.  A tad nuts, but good guys.  <snicker>

But of course, we are all crazy.  Just in different ways.

 

[Hexx]

Lepton & Age:


But of course, we are all crazy.  Just in different ways.

 

Personally I've always felt I'm a vision of sanity and clarity amongst the field of mental debris that is the rest of you.

[Green]

Good post J'inn.   

Please hurry up with the next installment ... it would be a real bummer, might even say depressing, if we had to wait too long.   

[KAT J'inn]

Yes . . .  I remember it like it was yesterday . . .


<insert dream sequence music>


A charter bus with the picture of the grinning face of a Siberian Tiger and the words ?J?inn?s Clubhouse Tours? emblazoned on the side pulls into a dusty trailer park somewhere outside of Memphis.  It come to a stop in front of an old double wide.

J?inn strolls out followed by a bunch of tourists, fat middle aged men wearing loud Bahama Shorts mainly.  He walks up to the front door with the tour group behind him snapping pictures madly.

Suddenly a rotten egg slams into the ground next to our hero.  J?inn tours around to see a disheveled man in Klingon leathers carrying a picket sign that reads   ?J?inn?s a Restarting Bastard!!?

J?inn: Warsears!  I said I was sorry!!

Warsears:   Hey Hey!  Ho Ho! These lame restarts have got to go!

J?inn: Oye.

*****************

Doctor: So is that when you snapped?

J?inn: Please!!  I got picketers outside of my office everyday yelling stuff about Malpractice.  Shyster!  Blah blah blah.

Doctor: Yes but he threw eggs at you.

J?inn: Ooo just you wait.  Now stop interrupting!!

*****************

So the tour group takes some more pictures of the surly Klingon as J?inn goes up to the front door and knocks on it.  A few seconds later a peephole door slides open and a blood shot eye peers through.

Jakle:   WHAT!  We are busy here.

J?inn:   Howdy. Erm.   Mace?

Jakle: No it?s Jakle!.  Killer of Feds.

J?inn:  Jakle?  Never heard of ya.

Jakle: That?s because I usualy stay on GSA but I decided to come to D2 because I heard it was cool and . . .

J?inn: You heard there were a few female players!

Jakle: Ahem. Yeah well.   WHAT DO YOU WANT?

J?inn: Well you see Jakle old buddy. Every D2 campaign I bring by a tour group to see the teams in action.  You know, planning.  Strategerising as the Prez sez.

Jakle: How the hell did you find us?

J?inn: <points a thumb over his shoulder at the Miller Lite tanker truck.>   I followed your supply truck.

Jakle: D?Oh!

J?inn: Lemme in!

Jakle: Hell no!!

J?inn: Gosh.  I saw Dizzy driving around earlier.   I think he was looking for this place.   Maybe I should tell him where . . .

<The door flies open and J?inn is yanked into the trailer.  The tour group moseys in behind him>

Inside the smoke filled trailer sit the Coalition players at a long conference table.

J?inn:   Hi guys!

Players: <grumble> <mumble> <snarl>

Doomstone:   I HATE STARCASTLERS!!!

Players:   HATE HATE HATE KILL KILL KILL

Will Weasel: Alright alright.  Well work on our starcastle crushing plans later.  Let?s get back to the main issue.

Krueg: Beer?

Will: NO!! 

?Dib: Killing Hexx?

Will: Well yes, but really.  Does that have to be planned?

Mazeepa: Crushing the Alliance.  Killing them.  Killing their puppies.  Killing their kitties.  Killing their little special things.

Players:   KILL!

Will:   Okay.  Well yes.  I suppose that could be construed as winning the war.  Yes.  So, here?s the plan.  We ignore the LDR space and go straight for Hydran space.  Agreed?

Players: AGREED!!

Firesoul:  Erm.

Will: Oh now what!   Last time it was your ship wasn?t perfect!  Then there was that whole hour we spent changing the color of the drapes in here to make them more SFB.   NOW WHAT!!

Firesoul:   I want to kill the LDR.

Halo: Me too!!

Players: KILL!!

Will: Now hold on there.  If we attack the LDR we just waste time.

Krueg: <slapping the tap from a huge beer vat>   THE BEER IS GONE.

Players: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Will: DAMMIT!! <pounding table> Focus people!!

Krueg: I must . . . have beer . . .I must

<knock on door>

Voice from door: Miller Lite man.  I got your delivery right here and . . .

<what follows is too ugly to tell but the poor delivery man barely survived.  He?s in counseling somewhere in Canada now>

Krueg: <Sucking from tap> I love beer.  Beer beer beer.

<suddenly, through the door the Coalition forgot to close after the beer man ran out of it, Dizzy walks in>

Dizzy: Hi guys!

Players: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

<gasp wheeze>

Players: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dizzy: Okay so here is the deal. I log on. I kick but.

Will: <runs over to a glass case on the wall marked. ?Break Only in Case of Dizzy? He smashes the glass with his fist and pulls out a tape recorder.  He then hits play>

Tape: Dizzy STFU!

Dizzy: But I can kill all of

Tape: Dizzy STFU!

Dizzy: But . .

Tape: Dizzy STFU!

Dizzy: <sniff>

Will: Okay.  Now where were we?

Mazeppa: Ripping the heads off of their dollies!

Will: Dude. Chill.

Dib: WHAT!!  You don?t think we should kill them all?

Will: Well lets just plan and . . . .

Toten: Planning is for Feds!  We are Klingons!! We kill!!

Players: KILL!!!!

Dizzy: Kill!!!

Tape: Dizzy! STFU!!

 
Krueg: <pointing at Will>   You need reeducation in all things Klingon.   ASSIGN HIM TO THE PUNISHMENT SHIP!!

Will: <gasp> NO!!  Not that!!

Players: <Grab Will and drag him kicking and scream to a door marked.  ?C8 assignment room. Kiss your soul goodbye? The door is opened and a whimpering Will is tossed into the darkness.>

Krueg: <brushing off hands> Well that handles that.

Jakle: Erm so where are the girls?

Dogmatix: They are all Alliance players.

Jakle: <sputter>

Krueg: Okay.  So where were we?  Killing Alliance.  Right.  Okay so here?s the plan. <looks around>    Erm, where are Firesoul and Halo?

<The sound of an old big block V8 firing up is heard as the players run to a window>

Outside is Firesoul behind the wheel of a battered 1960something Biscanye with Halo in the passenger seat.  They are wearing black suits and black sunglasses.

Krueg: <yelling out the window>   WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO GOING!!??

Firesoul: We are killing Hexx and the LDR in that order.

Halo: We are on a mission from god!!

Krueg: Get your stupid arses back in here!!

Firesoul: Death tot he LDR!!!

Mazeppa: Can we kill stuff now?

Domestone: I want to kill Starcastlers!!

<sounds of Will screaming his soul away coming from the C8 room follwed by him screaming ?TURN TURN YOU PIG TURN!!!>

Krueg: Domestone.  Well get to the Starcastlers just wait until

<sounds of the Biscayne fishtailing out of the driveway>

Krueg: DAMMIT!!!  FIRESOUL GET BACK HERE!!!

<The door to the C8 room bursts open in flames and Will?s singed but still living body falls to the floor in a heep>

Will: Mommy.

Krueg: You didn?t die did you?

Doomstone: I bet it was a starcastler!!

Will: Medic.

Dizzy: Well if I had been.

Players: Dizzy STFU!!

Mog: I shoulda gone with Firesoul.

Will: <whimper> Who made us fly these crappy Dreadnaughts?

Players: <all turn and glare at J?inn>

J?inn: Well gosh. Look at the time.  Tour Group it?s time to get going.  Everyone into the bus.  Heh.

*********************

Doctor: Sounds stressful.  Did you make it out okay?

J?inn: Well yes.

Doctor: How?

J?inn: I told them that Dizzy was an Alliance spy.  In the melee that followed the group and I ran out.

Doctor: Oh J?inn.  That?s low.

J?inn: Thank you.

Doctor: <sigh>

J?inn: So then we went to the Alliance Clubhouse.

Doctor: You mean there is more?

J?inn: Oh yes.  I haven?t even gotten tot he part where I snapped yet.

Doctor: You mean where you went from being a skinny human lawyer to a Hinty.

J?inn: That?s Kzinti!!  And I?ve always been one!!  Don?t you see the fur?

Doctor: <places one hand on the Louisville Slugger> Erm . . . fur . . yes I see the fur now . .. <ahem>   <writes more>

J?inn: Not all Kzinti have this wonderful white fur ya know.

Doctor: Please take the pills J?inn.

J?inn: WHAT!!  Do you get kickbacks from the pharmaceutical company?

Doctor: <gasp>

J?inn: I knew it!!

Doctor: Hey!! I got a Ferrari payment to make.

J?inn: Oh it?s J?inn yer talking to buddy.  I understand 100%   Now lets get back to me.



To be continued.

[762_XC]

 

You know, we really need an archive of J'inn stuff.

[Hexx]

You know, we really need an archive of J'inn stuff.

Either that or give him his own forum.
(Although I'm not quite sure about the all pervasive "Kill Hexx" sentiments found running through his threads.. I think he may be brainwashing some of our... less intellectual players. )

[FPF-Jem]

You know, we really need an archive of J'inn stuff.

Totally agree, they're too good to lose.

[DAnahos_XC]

You know, we really need an archive of J'inn stuff.

I hereby make a motion that we make an archive of "J'inn Stuff". How about we call it, "Logs Of The Riverboat Casino" ?

[Age]

  What ever you say big guy.Would you like an olive with that pitted or non pitted lol.

[Sirgod]

I will always Support a J'inn Forum on any uhm Forum.

Stephen

[KAT J'inn]

A charter bus with the picture of the grinning face of a Siberian Tiger and the words ?J?inn?s Clubhouse Tours? emblazoned on the side pulls into a sleepy suburban neighboorhood somewhere in <lord help me> Ohio.    It come to a stop in front of a nice split level house.  On the mailbox is the words:

Hooch Family
Alliance HQ


J?inn strolls out followed by the tourists.  He looks around.  Manicured lawn.  A Toyota Camry and a minivan in the driveway.  The neighboorhood kids screaming and yelling and trying to commit suicide with their Big Wheels.

?Hmm so this is what hell is like? J?inn mumbles.   

On the back of the minivan is a few bumper sticker. 

?If you are close enough to read this I?ll photon your asre!?

-and-

?I love bald men with deep theatrical voices??

-and sadly-

?Drones are my friends?

Suddenly J?inn hears a hissing sound.   He spins around to see Chuut standing across the street carrying a picket sign that reads   ?J?inn?s a Restarting Bastard!!?  Oddly, none of the neighborhood kids seem to be afraid of the large bipedal feline warrior holding the picket sign. A passing soccer mom, jogging by in tight bike shorts that she secret hopes every passing male driver stares at, growls ?Damn liberals.  Always protesting something.?

*****************

Doctor: It seems a lot of people were mad at you J?inn.

J?inn:   Yeah yeah.  Meow Meow.  It comes with the territory.

Doctor: Come now, it must get to you.

J?inn:   How much are you charging an hour?

Doctor: $200.00

J?inn: Then shaddup and let me finish!

Doctor: I sense anger issues here.

J?inn: For $200.00 I should get to nail the receptionist!

Doctor: Well being a <ahem> Yenti. Can you actually . . .

J?inn: It?s KZINTI!!!  And yes it all works fine.  Here look!! <starts to stand up>

Doctor: I BELIEVE YOU!!!  SIT DOWN!!! <grabs hold of baseball bat>

J?inn: The women like the fur . . .

Doctor: J?inn you don?t have fur.  You?re human.

J?inn: HEY DON?T GET INSULTING!!

Doctor: <sigh>

J?inn Anywho . . . where was I?

*****************

So the tour group takes some pictures of Chuut who is now singing a lovely rendition of ?We Shall Over Come? while J?inn goes to knock on the door.

Voice from behind door: YES I PRAYED TODAY!!

J?inn: Erm, that?s nice. But ummm.

Voice: I don?t want any encylcopedias!

J?inn: Ummmm.  I?m not selling anything.   It?s me, J?inn. I have the tour group.

Voice:   Honey!!  It?s J?inn!!   Hide the girls upstairs!!

J?inn: Hooch!!  Open up!!  Sheesh!!

Hooch: <opens door> Come on in buddy.  Would you like some lemonade?

J?inn: Nah, thanks, just let the group watch you guys for a while.

Hooch: Have them all take off their shoes.  And make sure if they sit down they only sit on the plastic furnature covers.

J?inn: <sigh>

So J?inn and the group go into the Conference Room where the Alliance players are sitting.   There seems to be a class in session.

Max Power: Okay Federation players.  Hydran is easy.   First you need to envision your superiority.

Grim: Wha?

762: Yes, close your eyes and consider the sound of one hand clapping in the woods.

JB: Erm . . .   Where are the photons?

Die Hard: )&$_*(&#&*(_#&*(*# p()#&*(#&*(_#(_*&#   _*)&#_*#*()# i Gotta TAKE A LEAK.

Hooch: <Grabs Die Hard and drags him to the bathroom>

Bearslayer: Okay, now lets talk fighters.   They are easy.  You tell them what to do and they do it.   Unless it is a Friday of course.

Green: Friday?

Max Power: <sigh>

762: <sigh>

Bearslayer: <sigh> Yes, ?everyone? knows that fighters do the exact opposite on Fridays.

Grim: Wha??

<from bathroom> Die Hard: *(&$*&$&*&$ the ()*&#(*)#&( toilet seat is down )(&9878939873 now what do I (*#&(*#&&# do??   

Hooch: RAISE IT!! FOR THE LOVE OF CUTE BUNNIES!! RAISE IT FIRST!!

Die Hard:   It?s *(&$*($ furry.  It reminds me of this biatch I knew . . .

Hooch: DIE HARD!!!  MY WIFE WILL HEAR YOU!!!  It?s a furry toilet seat cover!

Die Hard: Is she furry?

Hooch: GRRRRRRRRR!!!  Did you raise the seat?

Die Hard: I guess so.

Hooch: <ack>

Max Power: Then of course there is the power curve Sunday afternoon interplay.

762: Yes of course. 

Father Ted: Wha?   Where are the photons.

Hooch: Screw photons!  Where are my drones!!!

Green: Ooooooohh <drooolll> drones.

Max Power: No drones.  No photons.

<Entire Class> :    WTF!!!!

Hooch: Language!! 

Die Hard: <running into room> Did I hear no )*^$*&)$*)&$* photons!!??

Hooch: LANGUAGE!!!  And did I NOT hear a flushing sound.

Die Hard: Flush?

Hooch: Grrr. <gets up and goes into bathroom>

Grim: How the hell can I kill anything with these ships?

Hooch: <from bathroom>   OH DEAR LORD!!  WHAT DID YOU DO IN HERE!!!

Die Hard: <snicker>

Hooch: The flowers are wilted!!

Die Hard: What kind of man has live flowers in his bathroom?

Hooch: THEY WERE PLASTIC!!

Green: Yikes!

Max Power: <pounding desk>   Listen up!!  We are trying to teach you how to kill Klingons here.

Kroma: Does my arse look fat in this?

Hooch: <mumbling> Though I walk through the valley of death . . .

J?inn: Hey, where is all the SSCF?

Hooch: Don?t ask Restart Boy.

J?inn: Uh oh.

Kroma: Hmm.  This tutu is too too tight I think.   It?s hard to move and Rollo is constricted. <starts adjusting himself>

<class>:   STOP THAT!!

Kroma: Fine.  Well I won?t be able to dance in this thing.  I?ll have to starcastle.

<class>: Hmmmmm. <light bulbs over heads>

J?inn: Alright.  Where are the SSCF?

Hooch: <Points at window>

<J?inn walks over to the window and looks out into the back yard.  There he sees a steel stroage shead with the words ?LDR HQ? printed on the sides.   The entire SSCF (except Hooch) is outside standing around a stuffed pinata that looks vaguely like a Polar Kzinti that is hanging from it?s neck from a tree.  Each of the SSCF players are tking turns hitting it with a large stick>

J?inn: Uh oh.

Hooch: Yeah, well Mr. Restart Boy.  They ain?t too happy with you. 

J?inn: <looks out again to see a small Lyran jump up on the shoulders of the puppet and starts beating the hell out of it with a stick>

J?inn: <yells out window> Hexx!!  Stop that!!!

762: <eyes glaze over>   Hexx . . . Must . . . Kill . . . Hexx . . .

Hexx: I TOLD YOU SO!!!  YOU DIDN?T LISTEN!!!

SSCF:   BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!   <start throwing rocks at J?inn>

J?inn: <ducks behind window> Yikes!!

Die Hard: <comes over to window> Hey, Kimmy has a pair of gardening shears.

J?inn: Wha? <stands back up>

<Kim pulls down the pants of the pinata>

Die Hard: Hey J?inn!!  It?s *(&$&$*&$^ anatomically correct!!

J?inn:   Is not!!  I?m much more manly than that! And . . . HEY WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH THOSE SHEARS!!

<SNIP>

J?inn: <covers crotch instinctively>   Oh that was uncalled for!!

Die Hard: Dude she cut off your *(&^#*&#^ nads!!

Hooch: LANGUAGE!!

J?inn: <sigh>

SSCF: <from the yard> BURN HIM BURN HIM BURN HIM!!

Max Power: Alright fine!!  Forget the Tuesday targeting issues!

Class: Wha?

Hooch?s Wife: <from upstairs> Hooch!!  Those people in the backyard have started a fire!!

Hooch: Oh dear lord.

<suddenly a large crash is heard from the backyard. Everyone runs to the window.  In the yard they see an amazing sight.   A large batter Biscayne has crashed through the backyard fence and Firesoul and Halo are chasing Hexx around the yard with large pointy sticks in their hands>

Hooch:   <screaming>   MY PETUNIAS!!!

*********

Doctor:   Sounds chaotic.

J?inn: Oh you should have been there when Hooch?s wife came downstairs.   Now that!  Was chaotic.  I think Hooch is still in the hospital. <snicker>

Doctor: So is that when you snapped?

J?inn: Not yet. But close.  For you see a few days later I went back tot he Alliance Clubhouse to meet with Kroma and . . . . .

*************


J?inn: Thank goodness that campaign is over.

Kroma: Someone called me a twat. <sniff>

J?inn: Yeah yeah.  So, where all the money?

Kroma: Money?

J?inn: Yeah yeah.  You know.  The pay for play money.   We should be rich.

Kroma: Pay for Play . . .  I though you were joking about that.

J?inn: Joking!!! I never joke about profit!!  Now where is the (*&$*(&$&*($& money!!!

Kroma: Seriously J?inn.  I thought you were joking . . .   We played for free . . .

*****************

J?inn: AND THAT DOC!!!  Is when I snapped.

Doctor: <sigh> You mean you thoguht all the rest of this was okay and it was just the money that caused you to snap?

J?inn: Just the money??  JUST THE MONEY??  It?s never JUST THE MONEY!!!

Doctor: Calm down.

J?inn: I?m so stressed my fur is failing out.

Doctor: J?inn you don?t have fur.

J?inn: You?re just jealous.

Doctor: <sigh> Please J?inn. Take the pills.

J?inn: Can I nail the receptionist then?

Doctor: No!  Oh and I should tell you about the sexual side effects.

<heard out on the street outside the office>   J?inn:   I AIN?T TAKING THOSE *#^&*(##^ PILLS THEN!!!

[FireSoul]

Reading this.. I just hope Hexx is Alliance on GW3 also.

[Dizzy]

J'inn u da massa~!

[Commander Maxillius]

J'inn, you rule!!   

[SSCF-Rolling]

I could never dismember a kat!!!!

Well, unless you were a roamer, then we have a problem.

Good post J'inn.

<snip, snip>

[FPF-DieHard]

J'inn, thank you for toning down my langauge in this post.   

[Father Ted]

I'll have you know that I aquitted myself quite nicely as a smelly beast. Came out with a winning record. The one thing that breaks my heart is that the guy I was in contact with who created, and used to write for "The Munsters" has retired. Will, your stuff is every bit as funny as his, and you have the talent to take it there. You know what I'm talking about....

[762_XC]

Hey!! I'll have you know I only killed Hexx once on GW2.

(Mind you we were allied.)

[SkyFlyer]

A passing soccer mom, jogging by in tight bike shorts that she secret hopes every passing male driver stares at, growls ?Damn liberals.  Always protesting something.?

True True.

[Capt_Bearslayer_XC]

Hey!! I'll have you know I only killed Hexx once on GW2.

(Mind you we were allied.)

He-he... too bad we crashed....

[SSCF-Rolling]

?I love bald men with deep theatrical voices?
 

YUMMY!!!!

[KAT MRess]

M'ress enters into the Alliance clubhouse, drops breifcase behind door, walks into Conference room.

"OK, I'm back, what did I miss?"