Im naked and running with scissors!!!
Ive always wanted to say that.
Due to the various powers given the authorities under the patriot act......
Pictures of you running naked with scissors have been forwarded to your local authorities and they will be knocking on your door at any moment.
[based on experiance with government]
The elite hit squad has raided your neighbors home by mistake and shot her dog. According to Federal law, in commission of a felony, you have been charged with doggycide and the cost of damages to the home from breeching charges, tear gas, and anti-tank rounds.
The bill comes to 3 million dollars, the payment was due yesterday and since you are in default this notice will self destruct you in 1 second.
Have a nice day.
[/based on experiance with government]