Topic: The Rime; SFC Style

[drb]

Hoi Folks,

This post already exists in the D2 Experiences forum, but I thought some people in this forum might find this type of thing amusing. That being said, if the powers that be think it should be deleted you will not hear a peep outta me.

 Kroma sent out a challenge to the GDA fleet during the GW3 server. The first one of us to relieve him/her of his/her command would get a pricy bottle of booze. If Kroma won, the loser would have to write a "love poem" in which "undying love" had to be announced. Now, I ask you, would you turn down that offer? I shore didn't...anyways this is what I have so far. Comments of all types welcome.


Part 1


It is an ancient Mariner
And he stoppeth who on the forums be
"By thy bright red beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

The Dynaverse is opened wide,
And a VC ship I'm in;
The fleets are met, the target is set
May'st hear the warp core din."

...

The Forum-Peep sat on a stone:
He sits back and cracks a beer;
And thus typed on that hydran cap'itan,
that donut wearing Mariner.

The ship was cheered, the spacedock cleared,
Merrily did we drop
To hunt the Kirk, to hunt the Bill,
To hunt the toupee top.

...


Red Tide hath parted Kat from ball,
Red as a rose is she;
Turning their fleets before Blue foes
They sing of victory.

The Forum-peep adjust foot rest,
Yet he cannot choose but hear;
And thus typed on that old Hydran,
The three-eyed Mariner

And the Starbase-Blast decree, he
Was tyannous Klingon:
He struck with cheese droning wings,
LordKrueg flayed us along.

Through fight'er masts star-castle now,
As through escort with yell and blow
Still dread moves in to be his foe,
And forward bends his head,
The ship drove fast, loud roared the blast,
To yonder base we tread.

And now there came EW snow,
And we grew wonderous bold
And base, so-high, had shielding bye,
As green as emerald

And through the drifts of snowy shifts
It saw our dismal sheen:
More phasers type four warp weaken-
The fight was all between

The fight was here, the fight was there,
The fight was all around:
Base cracked and growled, ship roared and howled
Left lifeless as aground!

A Kat did pause "The Dresser-cross,"
To increase its fame;
As it had been a Stars End Bar Troll
We Hailed it Kroma's flame.

It dated crew so glad to meet,
And round and round it screw.
Scene we did split with a thunder-fit;
The helmsman steered us through!

And a stiff tractor sprung up behind;
"The Dresser-cross" did follow,
And every day, for food or play,
Came to the decks of holo!

In fit so proud, on post so loud,
It called for dancers fine;
Last all the night, to climax white,
For victor some fine Moonshine.

"God save thee, tri-ped Mariner!
From the Fiends, that plague thee thus!-
Why look'st thou so?"-Through the ego
I shot "The Dresser-cross."

Part 2

A star now rose upon the right:
From EEK! mission came he,
Now off limit, and on the left
The asteroid leave be.

And stiff tractor stuck like glue behind,
But no sweet puss did follow,
Nor any day for food or play
Came to the decks of holo!

And I had done a hellish thing,
And it would work'em woe:
For all averred, I had dissed the puss
That made stiff tractor tow.
Ah wretch! said they, kat's ego slay
That made stiff tractor tow!

Nor cream nor med, for one's own head,
Sooth goriest sore uprist:
Then all averred, I had dissed the puss
That brought clap and left pissed.
'Twas right, said they, 'bout one could say,
Who bring clap and leave pissed.

From tractor goo, a white foam flew,
The furrow followed free;
We were the first that ever burst
Into deep space that be.

Down dropped tractor,all booze drunk down,
'Twas sad as sad could be;
And we did speak only to break
the straining when we pee!

All were hot and sober bye,
Bloody sore, did balloon,
Right up above one's mast did stand,
No bigger than a spoon.

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor booze nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
<Insert Reptor promotion.>

Water, water, every where,
And all cup-boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

The view screen did rot: O Christ!
That ever this should be!
Of, slimy things that crawl with legs
J'inn Most Slimy be.

About, about appeal I clout,
I accused of drinking light;
That "water," like a witch's oils,
Brewed red, and blue and white.

Some in wet dreams assur-ed were
Of the Spirit that plagued us so;
Nine fathom deep he/she followed us
From the land of EW snow.

And every keg, through utter drought,
Drained, all gone, kapoot,
We could not speak, no more than if
We had been choked with soot.

Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead H. Boss, cloths Dresser-cross
Below my neck was hung.

Part 3

There passed a weary time. Each throat
Was parched, and sore each bye
A weary time! a weary time!
They swore of mast one eye,
When looking westward,I beheld
A thing sensors did spy.

At first it seemed a little speck,
And then it seemed a mist;
It moved and moved, and took at last
A certain shape, I wist.

A speck, a mist, a shape, I wist!
And still it neared and neared:
As if it dodged a whine-o's spite,
It plunged and tacked and veered.

With thoughts half-baked, with beer mugs caked,
We could nor laugh nor wail;
Through utter drought all dumb we stood!
I grabbed a pop, I chugged the crud,
And sent, A hail! a hail!

With thoughts half-baked, with beer mugs caked,
Agape they heard me call:
Gramercy! for joy they're Lyran,
And all at once their breath drew in,
As they were drinking all.

See! see! (I cried) she tacks no more!
Hither to work us weal;
Without warp drive, soon to collide,
She steadies with upright keel!

Communication gave was all of blame,
for reasoning we'd done!
"To unsound arguments you're slave
Time to teach a lesson;"
When that strange ship drove suddenly
Betwixt us and the sun.

And straight the sun was flecked with bars
(Mother of a drinking place!),
As if through a dungeon-grate he peered
With broad and burning face.

Alas!(thought I, and my heart beat loud)
How fast she nears and nears!
Are those nacelle that glance in the sun,
Like restless gossameres?

Are those her ribs through which the sun
Did peer, as through a grate?
And is that likkerpig her crew?
Is that a Hexx? and are there two?
Is Hexx likkerpig's mate?

His quips were Sade philosophy,
His talks about posters bold:
Who argue their plight with fallacy,
The Nightmare Life-in-Bondage he,
Who packs one's crud 'stead scold.

The naked hulk alongside came,
And the twain were casting dice;
"The game is done! I've won, I've won!"
Quoth he, and guzzles thrice.

Life support slips; the lights go out:
Emerg lights stay the Dark;
With far-heard drunk slur, as he pee,
Off shot the likker-barque.

We listened and STFU!
Fear at my heart, as at a cup,
My life-blood seemed to sip!
Intruder alert did blip!
The lights were dim, but still like night,
The helmsman's face by his lamp gleamed white;
To the rails the crew did grip-
Intruder stocked the mess hall bar
Beer called "Horned moon", with one star
Within the nether tip.

One after one, drank the star-dogged Moon,
Too quick for groan or sigh,
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And hexxed me with his eye.

Four times fifty living men
(and I heard nor sigh nor groan),
With heavy thump, a lifeless lump,
They dropped down one by one.

The souls did from their bodies fly-
Forever to wing Nail, woe!
And every soul it passed me by,
Took a whiz on my ego!

Part 4

"I fear thee, Hydran Mariner!
I fear thy lack of hand!
And thou wore long, a woman's gown,
And your fashon taste bland.

I fear thee and thy glittrting eye,
And thy lack of hand, in gown."-
Fear not, fear not, thou Fourm-Peep!
This bye liked not the gown.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone in the galaxy!
And never a saint took pity on
My pole in agony.

The many crew, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie:
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.

I viewed the bridge auxilery,
And drew my eyes away;
I looked upon the blasted deck,
And there the dead men lay.

I looked to heaven, and tried to pray;
But or ever a prayer had gusht,
A wicked whisper came, and made
My heart as dry as dust.

I closed my lids, and kept them close,
And the balls like pulses beat;
For bye the galaxy, yes the galaxy bye,
Lay like a load on my weary eye,
And the dead were at my feet.

The cold sweat melted from their limbs,
Nor rot nor reek did they:
The look with which they looked on me
Had never passed away.

An orphan's curse would drag to hell
A spirit from on high;
But oh! more horrible than that
Is the curse in a dead man's eye
Seven days, seven nights, I saw that curse,
And yet I could not die.

A moving moon went flying by,
And nowhere did abide:
Softly she was going up,
And a star or two beside-

Her beams bemocked the sultry main,
Like plasma exhaust spread;
But where the ship's huge shadow lay,
The charmed matter burnt alway
A still and awful red.

Beyond the shadow of the ship,
I watched as Kroma shakes;
He/she danced tracks of shining white,
And when it reared, the elfish light
Fell off in hoary flakes.

Within the shadow of the ship
I watched its rich attire:
Blue, glossy green, and velvet black
It coiled and swam; and every track
Was a flash of plasma fire.

O happy living thing! no tongue
Its beauty might declare:
A spring of love gushed from my heart,
And I blessed it unaware:
Shore my kind saint took pity on me,
And I blessed it unaware.

The self-same moment I could pray;
And from my neck so free
Cloths dresser-cross fell off, and sank
Like lead below my knee.

To be Continued in Part 5.

Take care

drb